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Item 28
项目第28条
your pet name for me
你为我取的爱称
Time's running out on this You need to make a decision
时间不多了 你得下决定
I submitted you a notarized list
我发给你公证过的爱称提议表了
I'm sorry but "Gollum" and "Flakey" are not acceptable
抱歉 你提的"咕噜"跟"疯婆子"不行好吗
咕噜是《魔戒》系列中的角色 长相丑陋怪异
Well you don't like "Princess Corncob"
你也不喜欢"玉米公主"
you don't like "Fester" you're just impossible to please
也不喜欢"费斯特" 你真是太难伺候了
费斯特 电影《亚当斯一家》中 长相阴森的角色
We'll come back to that one
这项之后再说好了
This brings us to the final item
现在到了我们的
in our annual State of the Relationship Summit
年度"感情发展高峰会"的最后项目
Item 29 Valentine's Day
项目第29条 情人节
Ah the worst for last
图穷匕就现了
Classic Flakey
完全的疯婆作风
Before you get upset I believe I've come up with
先别不开心 我相信我已经想到了
a way for us to celebrate the occasion
一个既能庆祝节日 又能让你我
that we both can enjoy
都开心的好计划
People usually start a meeting with a joke
大多数人都是在会议开始前用笑话开场
but you go ahead end with one
但你继续 用笑话结尾也行
I propose we spend a weekend
我提议我们去纳帕谷酒庄的
at a bed and breakfast in Napa Valley
住宿加早餐酒店共度一个周末
I hate every word in that sentence
我讨厌你句子里的每个字
Including "in" "at " "we" and "a"
包含"共度" "去" "我们"以及"一个"
Come on Sheldon Why not
为什么 谢尔顿 给个理由
For starters a bed and breakfast forces you
首先 住那种酒店就一定得跟
to eat with strangers at your table
陌生人坐一起共进早餐
One step ahead of you
我早想到了
Bernadette and Wolowitz are going with us
伯纳黛特跟沃罗威茨会一起来
Oh very well
很好
What are the sleeping arrangements
那房间怎么安排
We've only been dating for three years
我们才刚约会三年呢
If we were to share a room people might talk
如果我们睡同一间 会被人说闲话的
I got you your own room
我帮你订了自己一间
What if my room has a claw foot bathtub It doesn't
-万一我房里的是爪脚浴缸怎么办 -不是的
I know it makes you feel like you're bathing inside a monster
我知道你会觉得那像是在怪兽肚里洗澡
Look I appreciate the effort
我很谢谢你的心意
but I'm still unclear how this trip
但我还是不知道
is supposed to be enjoyable for me
这旅行有什么值得让我开心的地方
We're going to have Valentine's Day dinner
我们的情人节晚餐的地点就在
on a fully functioning vintage train
一辆运作正常的古董火车上
Vintage Be specific
怎么古董 解释详细点
An Alcoa FA 4 diesel locomotive
美国铝业FA-4型柴油火车头
leading a train of meticulously restored
拉着完美修复的
1915 Pullman first class coaches
1915年款的普尔曼头等火车厢
I'm feeling the urge to hug you
我有一股想抱你的冲动
And one and two
一 二...
All right Gollum we're good
好了 咕噜 不用了
第七季 第十五集
生活大爆炸
Are you sure you guys don't want to come with us to Napa
你们确定不跟我们一起去纳帕谷酒庄吗
You could probably still get a room
现在还来得及订房哦
No I think we're just gonna have a quiet weekend at home
不用了 我们就在家静度周末吧
Plus I'm not sure it's a great idea
而且我觉得带佩妮
to take Penny to where wine comes from
去生产酒的地方 不是个好主意
What It's a joke
干嘛 开玩笑而已
Oh come on We bust on each other
别这样 我们整天吐槽对方
I wear dorky glasses you might have a problem
我戴傻逼眼镜 你可能有酗酒问题
it's all for laughs
就是图个乐嘛
That would really piss me off if I didn't have a buzz going on
幸好我喝了有点晕乎 不然你死定了
Howard which pocket watch will you be wearing
霍华德 你在火车上时会佩戴
for dinner on the train
哪块怀表呢
I'm sorry what
麻烦再说一次
Oh I'm afraid if we wear the same pocket watch
我是怕如果我们戴了同一块表
it will be embarrassing
会很尴尬
I don't own a pocket watch Oh my
-我没有任何怀表 -天啊
Well then my apologies for bringing up this sore spot
抱歉 我不应该提起你的痛处
Since you two are gonna be around for Valentine's
既然你们两个情人节会在家
would you mind watching Cinnamon
能帮忙我看一下小桂子吗
You have Valentine's plans
你丫情人节有约啊
Which came out sounding way more surprised than I meant
语气有点夸张了 其实我没那么惊讶
L Let me try that again You have Val
我再重说一遍 你丫有...
See I can't do it
臣妾做不到啊
I don't have plans which is why I booked time
我没有约 所以才订了那晚
on the big telescope that night
去看天文望远镜
Well an evening looking at the stars
整个夜晚都在看着满天星斗
that's still kind of romantic
感觉也挺浪漫的啊
Except I'll be alone
可我是独自一人看
I'm trying to put lipstick on a pig here Work with me
救这场跟给猪画口红一样难 你配合点好吗
We'd be happy to watch Cinnamon Yeah
-我们很乐意替你照看小桂子 -对
Thank you
谢谢
Oh and I'd like for at least one of us to see some action
我希望我跟它至少有一人能"看到好戏"
so if you guys happen to have sex
所以如果你们两个要做爱
it's cool if she stays in the room
碰巧她也在 就不要赶她了
Hey same goes for the two of you with Amy
你们俩要"做"时 也别赶艾米哦
What do you think Sheldon
谢尔顿 你觉得如何
It's magnificent
太厉害了
This is going to be the best Valentine's Day ever
这将会是我最棒的一个情人节
I'm so glad you like it
我很高兴你喜欢
I'm prepared to say I love it
我都准备要说出"我爱死了"
as soon as I confirm there are no hobos aboard
但我要先检查 车上有没有流浪汉
Okay
Raj I got it Bye
拉杰 我知道了 再见
That was your daddy
刚才是你爸比
He wanted me to say that he misses
他要我跟你说他很想...
Why am I doing this
我干嘛跟着他发狗痴啊
Happy Valentine's Day
情人节快乐
Ooh flowers and chocolates
有花又有巧克力
Somebody's trying to get me out of my panties
有人今晚想扒我的小裤裤哟
Don't be surprised if you find five chocolates missing
如果打开看到里面 少了五颗巧克力
and three gross coconut ones with a bite taken out
以及三颗被人咬过椰子口味时 别吓到哦
It came that way when I bought it
我买来的时候就那样了
Got you a little something too
我也给你买了点小礼物
Jewelry
珠宝首饰吗
Oh my God
我的天啊
Lakers tickets
湖人队的球票
It gets better Instead of me
更棒的是 不一定要带我去
you can take someone who will actually enjoy it
你可以带其他爱看球的朋友去
You are the best boyfriend ever Thank you
-你是全天下最棒的男朋友了 -谢谢
Seriously please don't make me go
说真的 求你别拉我去
Should we take this little party to the bedroom
我们是不是该挪去房里再"庆祝"呢
Don't have to we have the whole place to ourselves
不用了 整个家只剩我们
Oh that's true In fact if you want
-有道理 -而且只要你想要
we can do it right here on Sheldon's spot
我们可以在谢尔顿的宝座上"做"
That is the least sexy thing anyone's ever said to me
这是我这辈子听到过最让人失"性"致的话
To the bedroom
回房间吧
And for the entree tonight's special is a seafood risotto
今晚的主菜特餐 是海鲜意大利调味饭
Do you have any questions
有任何问题吗
Uh I do
我有个问题
Uh does this train car have the original link and pin coupler
这火车车厢是用着原来的杆销联结器呢
or the Miller Hook and Platform
还是米勒式的
I'm sorry I meant questions about the food
抱歉 我是指对食物方面的问题
Oh of course Um
当然 那...
is the seafood risotto being served on a train car
这海鲜意大利调味饭是在
with the original link and pin coupler
用原装杆销联结器的车厢上提供呢
or the Miller Hook and Platform
还是在使用米勒式连接器的车厢上提供
I I think we're gonna need a minute
我们还是待会儿再点菜吧
Fun fact it's neither
有趣小知识 两者皆非
They actually use the AAR type E coupler
他们用的是AAR E型的连接器
If you listen carefully when the locomotive disconnects
如果你在火车头分开连接时仔细听
you'll hear the characteristic
你就能听到连接处
click pshht thunk of the knuckle
招牌的哒 咻 砰声响
Get out of town
我勒个去
Fun fact I'm gonna jump off this train
有趣小知识 我要跳火车自尽啦
Hey Cinnamon
小桂子
guess who just did it human style
猜猜谁刚才用人类式爽了一炮[对应狗爬式]
Oh my God
我的老天啊
It's a little late but I'll take it
喊的有点晚 不过我也接受了
No Cinnamon ate the chocolates
不是啦 小桂子把巧克力都吃了
That's really bad for dogs
巧克力会让狗狗致命的
从而让狗狗中毒
巧克力中含有可可碱 会作用于小狗的中枢神经和心肌
Oh crap What are we gonna do
糟糕 那我们该怎么办
We gotta get her to a vet right now
我们应该立刻带她去看兽医
I don't have a vet
我不认识兽医
I have a podiatrist an optometrist an allergist
我认识治足科的 验光配眼镜的 治过敏的
a dermatologist a urologist
还有治皮肤病和泌尿科的医生
You'd think I'd have a vet
怪不得你会觉得我认识兽医
Okay There's one not far from here Come on Let's go
离这不远有个兽医 咱们赶紧带她去
Okay Koothrappali was right
好的 库萨帕里说得对
We should have let her watch
我们演"动作片"时应该让她看着
Do another one do another one
再来一个 再来一个
Okay
好的
Here's my impression of the Amtrak Acela
这是我对美铁阿西乐特快
barreling down the Eastern Corridor
飞驰在东部走廊线上的印象
It's like there's a train in your mouth
你的嘴真能"跑火车"啊
Oh yeah I've got one
对了 我也会一个
Um the Amtrak Wolverine coming into Chicago
美铁狼獾号开进芝加哥时的火车声
I've been on that train
我坐过那趟火车
And I just was again
刚仿佛让我置身其中
Hey see if you guys can guess this one
看看你们能不能猜到我是什么意思
Bang Splat Thud
中枪 脑肝涂地 倒地而亡
How many trains have you been on Tons
-你坐过多少趟火车 -多了去了
A box fell on my head at UPS six years ago
六年前 我做快递时被一个箱子砸到脑袋
Now I just collect disability and ride trains
现在就领领救济金 坐坐火车来打发时间
Your life's amazing
你的生活真是太棒了
Not always
不一直都是
A box fell on my head at UPS six years ago
六年前 我做快递时被一个箱子砸到脑袋
Now I just collect disability and ride trains
现在就领领救济金 坐坐火车来打发时间
Why do I even try
我干嘛要做这种无谓的尝试
I'm gonna fix this right now Okay
-我去摆平它 -好吧
Just make it look like an accident
尽量让现场看起来像一桩事故
Excuse me
打扰一下
You are at Valentine's dinner with your girlfriend
你在跟你的女朋友共进情人节晚餐呢
Now get back over there and be with her
现在给我滚回去 坐回她旁边陪她
You're right
你说得对
That was insensitive of me
我真是太迟钝了
I have to go back to my table now
我得回我那桌了
You should join us All right
-你也一起来吧 -好的
Great
这下好了
Now there's two of 'em
要同时忍受俩极品
How much chocolate did she eat
她吃了多少巧克力
A whole box Well to be fair
-一整盒 -说句公道话
you ate a lot of it before you gave it to me
你给我的时候 已经偷吃掉不少了
So the point is I may have saved her life
所以在某种程度上 我可能救了她的狗命
I'm sorry is this a joke to you
抱歉 你们觉得这很好笑吗
No
不是
Maybe to her
或许她觉得是
How big a box of chocolate was it
那盒巧克力有多大盒
Uh something like this I don't know
大约这么大 我不太记得了
It came free with a full tank of gas
那是我加满一箱油送的
Really
你不是吧
Do you know how much those Lakers tickets were
你知道那两张湖人的球票有多贵吗
Do you know how much gas is
你知道现在汽油有多贵吗
Sorry Sorry
-抱歉 -抱歉
Oh my God Cinnamon are you okay
老天爷 小桂子 你还好吗
I can't believe you two
你们俩真是太过分了
You do whatever it takes to save her life
请你尽一切努力拯救她的生命
If she needs new organs I'll buy any dog necessary
如果她需要新器官 我会去买任何能用的狗
and scrap them for parts
然后撕了它们 把器官取出来
You're the owner
你是狗狗的主人吗
Owner father soul mate
主人 父亲兼灵魂伴侣
and if anything happens to her your worst nightmare
如果她有个三长两短 我还将是你们的恶梦
Well she's not throwing up
她现在没有出现呕吐
which is a good sign
这是个好现象
So I'm gonna take her in back put her on fluids
我现在把她带进去 输点液
and give her something to absorb the toxins
给她吃点能吸收毒素的药
Okay Okay thank you
-别担心 -好的 谢谢你
Oh if she's scared you can sing to her
如果她害怕 你可以唱歌给她听
She likes Katy Perry
她喜欢水果姐姐
Oh but don't do "Firework"
但千万别唱《烟火》
That gets her all riled up
听到这首歌她会兴奋过头的
Got it
知道了
Should have been a dentist
当初真应该去学牙科
Okay what was the best four ten four
什么是美国建造过最棒的
U S Locomotive ever built
4-10-4设计类型的火车头是哪款
Trick question There never was one
这是陷阱题 因为从来就没有建过
Or was there
抑或曾经有过
What
神马
In 1944 the Pacific Railroad built number 6131
1944年 太平洋铁路公司建造出第6131号火车头
which rearranged the drivers and cylinders
重新配置了传动器和气缸
solving the problem of the Q 1
解决了Q-1的问题
creating a duplex drive four four six four
并创造了双驱动的4-4-6-4型
In what world is
在哪个美好世界
a four four six four a four ten four
4-4-6-4会是4-10-4啊
A world I don't want to live in
一个我不想存在的世界
Seriously I no longer want to live in this world
说真的 我有种股想"与世长辞"的冲动
Hold on to your conductor's hat
戴上你车长思考帽
You crank the second and third axles
如果你曲柄转动第二个和第三个车轴
creating a pair of internal connecting rods
创造出一对内部连杆
and boom four ten four
4-10-4型就诞生啦
If you think about it the Q 2
如果你仔细想想 Q2型
was like the four ten four America never made
就像是美国从未创造出的4-10-4型号
I may never stop thinking about it
这下我会忍不住一直想的
Amy what are the odds we run into this guy
艾米 我们能遇见这家伙的几率是多少啊
Better than you think
比你想象中多得多
You know if you ask nicely
如果你客气地问乘务员
they'll let you visit the engine room
他们会让你去参观引擎舱
I never want this day to end
我希望这一天永不结束
It's feeling like it never will
已经感觉像永远不会结束了
Come on
走吧
Hey did I tell you what happened to me at UPS
我有告诉你 我当快递时发生过什么意外吗
As if Valentine's Day wasn't bad enough
好像情人节对我的打击还不够大
you try to kill my dog
你们还想害死我的狗
And with cheap chocolate no less
居然还是用便宜的巧克力
It wasn't cheap
那不是便宜货
It was free
那是免费白送的
We're really sorry It was an accident
我们真的很抱歉 那是个意外
Yeah we weren't even out of the room that long
对啊 我们不在客厅也没多久
Oh no come on It was a while
拜托 好一阵子好吗
It was a while
好一阵子呢
Oh is Cinnamon gonna be okay
小桂子没事吧
She's responding well
她反应良好
We just want to keep her a little longer for observation
我们只需要要她留院多观察一会
All right Uh would would it be okay for me to see her
好的 可以让我进去看看她吗
We're usually in bed by now
平常这时候我们都上床睡觉了
and I want her to know that I'm here
我想让她知道 我就在她身边
Yes we sleep together and sometimes we spoon
是啦 我们同睡一张床 有时还跟对方抱抱
It's okay I sleep with my dog too
没关系 我也跟我的狗狗一起睡
We're not supposed to let people in back
虽然有规定不让外人进去
but I think I can make an exception
但我可以破例一次
Thank you Come on
-谢谢你 -进去吧
By the way I sang her Katy Perry
对了 我唱水果姐姐的歌给她听了
Oh yeah And I don't care
-是吗 -我才不管
what that obnoxious parrot back there says
里面那只令人讨厌的鹦鹉在嚷什么
I crushed it
姐唱得可棒了
I think there's something going on between the two of them
我觉得他们俩之间会擦出爱的火花哟
Maybe but you also think nine minutes isn't a while
或许吧 但你也觉得九分钟不算久
so what do you know
所以你懂个屁啊
You okay Why
-你没事吧 -干嘛这么问
Because my boyfriend's off playing choo choo with some weirdo
因为我男友跟某个怪胎一起去玩火车了吗
Well to be fair they're both weirdos
凭良心说 他俩都是怪胎
I don't know what made me think tonight would be any different
我居然会以为今晚他会有所不同
Well just the fact that you got him up here still says a lot
你能让他来这里 就已经很了不起了
To be honest I bet Howie 200 bucks
说实话 我跟华仔赌两百块
it wasn't gonna happen
说谢尔顿不可能会来
I'm going to the Lego store to get a big ass R2 D2
这下我能去乐高积木店买个超酷的R2机器人了
See It's not just Sheldon
瞧 不仅是谢尔顿
They're all idiots
男人全是白痴
She's right
她说得对
So your boyfriend's a fixer upper
你男友是个待整改户又如何
Most of them are
大多数男人都是
I mean look at this guy
看这个家伙
You think he came like this
你觉得他生来就这么乖巧吗
When I met him he was a hot goofy mess
我认识他时 他只是个性感的笨阿呆
Now he's been to space
现在他连太空都去过了
That's all me
全是姐教育有方
I had a little to do with it
也有点我自己的因素吧
Oh sure you did
当然啦
Who's Mama's big space man
谁是妈咪的太空小英雄
I am
人家啦
They've been in there like half an hour
他们都进去半个小时了
Yeah for future reference that's a while
为以后定个标准 这时间才能算"好一阵"
How long should we stay I don't know
-我们要待多久 -不知道
I'm kind of hungry
我有点饿了
I saw a Thai place next door
我看到隔壁有泰式餐厅
Oh Okay
好的
Hey How's she doing
-回来啦 -她怎么样啦
How is everything Yeah She's gonna be okay
-她还好吗 -她没事了
they're gonna let me take her home Oh good
-医生说可以带她回家了 -太好了
So I want you to keep a close eye on her
我需要你在接下来24小时
for the next 24 hours
密切留意她
Here are a few warning signs to look out for
这里是一些要留意的警告信号
and if you see any of them don't hesitate to call
你看到了 就马上打电话给我
Thank you for taking such good care of my little girl
非常感谢你这么照顾我家闺女
My pleasure Have a nice night
我的荣幸 晚安
Yes thank you for all your help Yeah
-感谢你的帮助 -是的
I'm sorry if you didn't think we were taking it seriously
抱歉让你觉得我们不重视
We love animals
其实我们热爱动物
Oh do you guys own any pets
你们俩有养宠物吗
No Good
-没有 -太好了
I love you so much
我好爱你
I love you too
我也爱你
Sorry Sorry
-抱歉 -不好意思
You guys missed a pretty great time
你们错过了不少乐子
The conductor and I have the same pocket watch
列车长的怀表和我的一样
It was crazy
太疯狂了
Dare I say "loco"
我能说疯子吗[火车头]
Oh and Amy guess what
艾米 你猜怎样
The conductor said as soon as he gets off work
列车长说他一下班
he can come back to the bed and breakfast
就可以去咱们住的那家酒店
and play his banjo for us
为咱们演奏班卓琴
Okay I need to speak to my boyfriend in private
好了 我要和我的男友私下谈谈
like right now
现在就要谈
There's a car with a glass roof
有节车厢是玻璃车顶
Want to go look at the stars
想去看星星吗
Oh that sounds so romantic
听起来好浪漫哦
Oh give it a rest
你们俩有完没完
Let's go
我们走
Why are you still here
你怎么还在这里
Excuse me
不好意思
I think you're being a little rude
你这样有点不礼貌哦
I'm being rude
我不礼貌
You've been rude to me this entire evening
是你一整晚对我不礼貌吧
How is that possible
怎么可能
I've hardly spoken to you since we got on the train
我上火车后 几乎没和你说过话
I'm detecting a little friction between you two
我感觉到你们之间有一些摩擦
and I don't want to be a third rail
我不想做第三轨
Get it
懂我笑点吗
I get it
当然
Leave
走开啦
What is your problem
你是怎么回事
It's Valentine's Day
今天是情人节
We're supposed to be having a romantic weekend
我们应该共度一个浪漫的周末
Oh really Because I remember you saying
是吗 因为我记得你说过
that this trip was going to be something we could both enjoy
这次的旅行是我们两个都能开心的
Did you mean that
你是真心的
or were you just trying to trick me
还是只是想骗我来
Fine it's true
好吧 是我骗了你
I deserve romance
浪漫之夜是我应得的
and I didn't know how else to make it happen
但我不知道还有什么办法能令浪漫成真
Well if you want romance then let's have romance
如果你要浪漫 那咱们就来浪漫吧
Oh look there's wine
看 红酒
Grape juice that burns
好烧的葡萄汁
Uh now let's gaze into each other's eyes hmm
现在咱们凝视彼此的眼睛吧
You blinked I win
你眨眼了 我赢了
Sheldon Let's see What's next
-谢尔顿 -我想想 接下来做什么
Oh kissing's romantic
对了 亲吻很浪漫
That was nice
刚才真不错
Good
很好
The conductor said if I come back to the engine room
列车长说如果我再去引擎室
he'd show me how to bring the train through a crossing
他会教我怎么把火车开过交叉口
Okay have fun
好的 玩得开心点
Do you want to come with me
你想和我一起去吗
Really I do
可以吗 我想去
Hey guys wait up
两位 等等我
There you go
好啦
All cozy wozy
好舒服好暖和哦
Here let's see what the doctor says to keep an eye out for
看看医生说要注意观察什么
"Rajesh I was dreading Valentine's Day
"拉杰什 我本来很害怕独自过情人节
Thank you for spending it with me Yvette "
多谢你与我共度 伊薇特"
Cinnamon she she gave me her phone number
小桂子 她把电话号码给我了
If I knew it was that easy
早知道这么容易
I would have considered poisoning you months ago
几个月前我就应该考虑给你下毒
Oh what should I say
我应该说什么呢
Oh I know I'll point out her name's Yvette
我知道了 我就说她的名字是伊薇特
and that she's a vet
所以她是兽医[同音]
That's hysterical
太好笑了
She'll love it
她会喜欢的
Hello You're back
-你好 -你回来啦
How was your trip It was wonderful
-旅行如何 -太棒了
Great What did you do
太好了 发生了什么事
I made a new friend
我交了位新朋友
who likes trains as much as I do
他和我一样喜欢火车
uh I kissed Amy on the lips
我和艾米接吻了
and uh the conductor played his banjo for me
还有 列车长为我演奏了班卓琴
Good night
晚安
Wait wait wait wait wait wait
慢着 慢着
I'm gonna need more details
我想听一些细节
Oh well my new friend's name was Eric
我的新朋友叫埃里克
Um Amy lips tasted like the brownie we had for dessert
艾米嘴唇 有晚餐吃的巧克力蛋糕味
the banjo playing conductor
演奏班卓琴的列车长
was missing a finger
少了一根指头
but he made up for it with his can do attitude
但他用乐观精神弥补了
No hang on Hang on
不 慢着慢着
Are all those things equal to you
这三件事对你来说都能相提并论吗
It never occurred to me to pick a favorite
我还真没考虑过 哪件才是最爱的事
Well give it a go
好好考虑下
I can't answer that without collecting additional data
不收集附加数据 我无法回答这个问题
Additional data You dog
还"附加数据"呢 你个色狼[狗]
I'm not sure how listening to other nine fingered banjo players
我不太确定聆听其他九指班卓琴演奏者表演
makes me dog but all right
会让我成为狗 不过没关系