生活大爆炸-S12E14_生活大爆炸

S01

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Ooh it's freezing out here

外面要冷死人啦

Would you like me to heat things up

那你想要我为两人... "加温"一下吗

No I want to get in the hot tub before I lose a toe

不我想在冻掉脚趾前先进浴缸里

Oh That is bright

这好亮啊

Yeah a new neighbor put in floodlights

是啊新来的邻居装的照明灯

So shall we

行要下水了吗

No I don't want to take my robe off under a spotlight

不要我才不想在聚光灯下宽衣解带

This is a candle body

本姑娘的身体只能在烛光下看

Howdy neighbors

好哇邻居们

We haven't met yet I'm Andy

我们还没见过面我叫安迪

Oh Hello Nice to meet you

你好幸会啊

You know your new balcony kind of looks right over our fence

你家新的阳台对我家有点一览无遗啊

You might want to put up some trees We can see everything

你们可以考虑一下种点树我们能看到一切

You can but it's okay if you don't

看得到但不代表非得看

So can you turn your lights off

能麻烦您把灯关掉吗

Sorry they're motion sensored

抱歉是运动感应灯

They'll go off in a minute Just try to stay still

很快就会自己关掉你们保持不动一会就行

What are we gonna do about this

这事我们该怎么办

I say we wait until his lights go off

我觉得我们就等到灯自己关掉

and then I make hot motionless love to you

然后我跟你来一场火辣无动的性爱

Don't move It's go time

别动上场时间到啦

And his new balcony looks right down on our hot tub

他家的新阳台能俯瞰我家的按摩浴缸

which meant we couldn't do anything

而我们一点办法都没有

So you gave your kids Benadryl for nothing

所以孩子没事你也给他们吃镇静晕车药啊

Why do I share with you You're such a yenta

我干嘛要跟你分享这些事你就是个长舌妇

Are we done talking about

我们还没聊完

Howard's failed conjugal relations

霍华德失败的夫妻关系吗

I have an actual Nobel Prize crisis to deal with

我有个事关诺贝尔奖的危机得解决呢

Has anything changed since the last time you talked about it

从你上一次说这事至今情况有任何变化吗

No ‭ Is there anything you can do about it

-没有 -有任何你能做的事吗

No ‭Then shut up or go wait in the car

-没有 -那就闭嘴不然就去坐车上等

Excuse me

打扰了

Remember you all came here to check out my cool new laser

还记得你们来是要看我的酷炫新激光吗

Oh right I'm gonna go wait in the car

对哦那我先上车等了

The best part is that it's europium based so

它最赞的地方就是以铕为...

And then Andy said if we want privacy

然后安迪说如果我们想要隐私

we should plant some trees

我们应该去种点树

The only way I know how to do that is to give a dollar

我唯一知道的种树方法就是捐一块钱

and a tree shows up in Israel

以色列的某处就有人帮我种树

Okay Anyway so because it's europium based

言归正传由于是以铕元素为...

Hey I need some help with a meteorite I found

我找到的一颗陨石需要人帮忙

Ah I'd be happy to

我很乐意帮忙

Oh no I meant Raj

不是你我是想找拉杰

I really need an astrophysicist

我很需要一位天体物理学家的帮忙

This is exactly like a dream I had

这跟我一个梦里的场景一模一样

Except in the dream you're Gal Gadot

除了在那梦中你是盖尔·加朵[美女演员]

I don't really have dreams when I sleep or in life

我这人没什么梦睡觉中还是现实生活中都没有

Anyway

反正呢...

I X rayed this meteorite and it looks like there's

我用X光照了这个陨石感觉上

some sort of organic signature inside of it

它的内里貌似含有某种有机特质

but I could really use another opinion

我想请其他人来看看有何想法

Well great Let's go check it out

没问题我们去看看吧

Cool I'm gonna stay here and show Howard

很好我就留在这里给霍华德展示...

I want to see it

我也想看

Okay Well thanks for stopping by

行吧感谢你们来这一趟啊

Screw them That's cool

管他们的这个酷爆了

Hey I'm not sure we're in the right line

我不确定我们该来的是不是这里

Is this for the city zoning office Yes it is

-这里是城市分区局吗 -是的

Or as we call it here "The zone zone "

或者是我们这里称呼的"区区"

No we don't

我们没有这么称呼

That's Linda

刚说话的是琳达

Ignore her She's going through the change

别理她她年纪到了在某"期"间

Now how can I help you

有何能为两位效劳呢

Our neighbor built a balcony

我们的邻居加盖了一个阳台

that looks right into our backyard and we're trying to see

能直接看进我家后院我们想知道

if there's anything we can do about it

能不能做任何事来阻止他

Well you have come to the right place

那你们真是来对地方了

You know a lot of people handle this type of thing online

很多人都是在网上处理这种事情

but I always say nothing beats the human touch

但我总说没有什么比真人接触更棒的了

Oh but don't worry

你们放心

I'm not gonna actually touch you

我不会真的要触碰你们

We had quite the informative meeting on that

我们为这个举办过富含教育意义的研讨会了

We just want a little privacy in our backyard

我们只是想要在后院能有些隐私

You know for

你懂的... 要...

Maybe we should've done this online

或许我们就应该在网上弄

No no no no The zone zone is a safe zone

别啊区区是个能安心分享的区

Stop saying "Zone zone"

别再说"区区"了

So is there anything we can do

所以我们有任何能做的事情吗

Absolutely Do you know if they have permits for the balcony

当然啦你知道他们加盖阳台有没有许可吗

Oh no We were hoping you could check

不知道我们还希望你能帮我们查呢

I certainly can I just need you to fill out a form

我的确可以只需要你们填一张表

and we have them available in Armenian Chinese

我们这里有提供亚美尼亚语中文

Cambodian English Farsi Korean Spanish and Vietnamese

柬埔寨语英文波斯语韩文西班牙语与越南语的表格

Well English obviously

很明显我们要一份英文版的

Well we're not allowed to presume

我们不允许先入为主

That was a whole other meeting

另一场深刻的研讨会谈过这事

So we just fill out the form and that's it

我们只需要填那张表就行了吗

Oh no No you need to fill it out

不不只你们得先填好

and then you need to bring it down to the Office of Code Compliance

然后得拿去建筑许可局那边

Now if your neighbors don't have a permit

如果你们的邻居没有许可证

you can file an official complaint but if they do have a permit

你就可以提出正式投诉但如果他们有许可

then you have to make the case that the balcony constitutes

那你就得提出那阳台有

a nuisance an encumbrance or an encroachment

妨碍利益造成产权负担或侵占土地的证据

and you have to decide which

而且你得决定是哪一种

because they are three totally separate forms

因为那是三种完全不同的表格

This is starting to seem like more trouble than it's worth

开始感觉这事费力又讨不了好啊

I know right

对啊就是说啊

You okay ‭Yeah

-你还好吧 -没事

Great 'cause you just bought that whole row of Batmans

那就好因为你刚把这一排《蝙蝠侠》全包了

Sorry I

抱歉了我...

And now you bought Aquaman Good choice

现在你还买了《水行侠》好眼光

If you want cold medicine

如果你想要感冒药

Stuart has the entire run of DayQuils

斯图尔特有全系列某牌感冒药

including the rare "DayQuilt" misprint from 1996

包含罕见的1996年的错印版本

What can I say I'm a collector

我能说什么我是个收藏家

Thanks but I'm fine I think it's just allergies

谢谢但我没事啦应该只是过敏

Hi guys ‭Hey ‭

-大家好啊 -你来啦

Oh heads up

先说一下

If that Aquaman feels wet it's not a gimmick

如果《水行侠》湿湿的不是特殊营销手段

Leonard sneezed on it

是莱纳德打喷嚏在上面了

You sick ‭Uh it's just allergies

-你生病了吗 -应该只是过敏

Oh So check it out

你听我说

This meteorite that Bert found is really cool

伯特发现的这个陨石超屌

We did a spectrographic analysis and there's

我们对它做了光谱分析它...

there's definitely something going on inside

里面绝对大有玄机

Well hey I if you want

那... 如果你们需要

we could use my new laser to cut it open

可以用我的新激光来把它切开啊

Well thanks but Bert's got this water cooled

谢谢好意但伯特有这台水冷的

diamond bladed saw

金刚石锯

Well sure but with my laser you'd get a thinner slice

行吧但用我的激光你就能得到更薄的切片

which would make for a better sample

这样的样本质量也更好

You're not gonna cut open a meteor are you

你们不会是想要切开一颗陨石吧

Have you not learned anything from comic books

你们没从漫画里学到任何教训吗

Space viruses Pod people

太空病毒外星人

I sell nothing but warnings

我这里卖的全都是血淋淋的警告啊

C Calm down Stuart

冷静啊斯图尔特

You're being a little crazy

你有点发神经

Oh is he Is he being crazy

他有吗他有神经吗

Or is he the only one around here who's making any sense

还是他是在场唯一脑子清醒的那一个

It's nice they found each other

他们能找到彼此真是太好了

Yeah Uh so anyway you want to use my laser

是啊话说回来你想用我的激光吗

Eh sorry It's kind of Bert's thing

抱歉这算伯特的项目

and he wants to do it his way so

他想用他的方式所以...

Okay

行

Yeah that's cool

没事啦

Just seems dumb to not use the laser

只是觉得不用激光有点蠢

Not as dumb as unleashing a plague on mankind

哪能比得上释放太空瘟疫蠢呢

but hey what do we know

但我们懂个什么啊

Literally nothing

什么都不懂

We spent half the day down at the city planning office

我们今天花了半天时间泡在城市规划局

and didn't solve a thing

什么都没解决

Now we have to go back tomorrow

我们明天还得再回去一趟

The planning office You lucky ducks

规划局吗你们俩真幸福

Yeah this one made me go for ice cream

这家伙就让我一起去买冰激凌

and talk about her day

然后聊她一天发生的事

Spoiler alert it was fine

剧透警告她没事

It wasn't fine I got trapped in an elevator

哪里没事我被困在电梯里了

I may have missed a few details

我可能漏听了一点细节

The bottom of my cone was drippy

那时我的冰激凌底开始漏了

So now we have to download all these forms and fill them out ‭

我们得下载那些表格然后全填了

We get it Your life is great Stop rubbing it in

我们都听懂了你们很幸福别再显摆了

Yeah quit it

对啊别晒幸福了

Is one of the forms the 599B/C

其中一个表格是编号599B/C的吗

Because if so it has a doozy of a typo

如果是这份上面有可多错别字了

I don't know

我不知道

All right well I don't want to spoil anything

好吧我也不想剧透什么

but you might want to start practicing your "Siglature "

但你们最好开始练习一下自己的"谦名"

Sheldon if you like this stuff

谢尔顿如果你喜欢这类东西

why don't you come and do it with us Or instead of us

-你何不跟我们一起去呢 -或替我们去

Do you mean it

你们是真心的吗

No no wait it's too late You can't take it back Yes

不不太晚了你们不能收回我答应

Well Amy looks like the elevator

艾米感觉被困电梯里

might have been the high point of your day

有可能是你今日的心情巅峰啊

Hey where's Raj

拉杰呢

Uh he's working with Bert

他跟伯特在合作项目

They're probably cutting their stupid meteorite open

估计他们正在用傻逼金刚石锯

with their stupid diamond saw

切开那颗傻逼陨石

Are you okay ‭Yeah I'm just a little run down

-你没事吧 -没事只是有点流鼻水

It might be a head cold

有可能是小伤风吧

Purell

洗手液

Purell

洗手液

Purell

洗手液

Purell

洗手液

Can I top anybody off

有人还要续洗手液吗

It's just so frustrating

真的好不爽啊

I I know my laser would be way more efficient

我知道用我的激光肯定更有效率

They're gonna lose so much meteorite due to kerf loss

他们会因为切割损失浪费很多陨石

Mm I'm sorry your friends won't let you play kerf with them

很心疼你朋友不跟你一起玩切割

Don't make it sound childish

别说得好像哄小孩

It's the scientific word for dust

那词的意思是灰啦

What was wrong with "dust"

那为什么不直说"灰"就好了呢

Are you sure you're not just a little jealous

你确定你不是只是嫉妒吗

No It's just my way is better but they won't even consider it

才不是呢我的方法更好但他们考虑都不考虑

Oh well it's their loss Look why don't you go to bed

那这样是他们的损失你先上床睡觉吧

I'll run out and get you some medicine ‭ Ah it's okay

-我出去给你买点药 -不用

Stuart gave me some when I was at the comic book store

我在漫画店的时候斯图尔特给我了一点

Really You're taking medicine from Stuart

不是吧你从斯图尔特手里拿药吗

Doesn't he need like all of it

他难道不是每一颗药都很关键吗

Mm he's got plenty

他有很多啦

His pill caddy is like this big

他的药盒有这么大呢

All right well why don't you go to bed

那你先上床躺着吧

I'll sleep out here on the couch

我今晚睡沙发

No no no you take the bed I'll stay out here

别别别你睡床吧今晚我睡这里

Even better Sweet dreams snot bag

那更好了祝美梦鼻涕虫

See what I'm talking about

看到我说的意思了吗

Oh yes

是的

Oh that is textbook encroachment

这是教科书式的侵占土地啊

And I know because I have the textbook

我能肯定是因为我有那教科书

First edition

首版呢

Watch what happens when you move

看看如果你动了会怎么样

Oh boy you weren't kidding

天啊你们还真不是瞎扯

Oh those are 10 000 lumens if they're a lumen

如果那是光那就是1万流明的万丈光芒

Well you know what they say

常言道

when life give you lumens make lumen ade

当生活给你流明光你就做成流明水

Was that a joke

这是笑话吗

Yes

是啊

Based on the premise that "lumen" sounds like "lemon"

笑点是来自光通量单位"流明"音似"柠檬"吗

Yes

是的

That's hilarious

还真好笑

Okay what is the setback on property lines in this neighborhood

你们这区的建筑退缩尺度是多少

Oh I don't know

我不知道啊

It must be on the permit from when you built your deck

你们造这个平台的时候许可上会有写啊

Uh yeah my dad built this

我爸爸盖的这个平台

We didn't do the whole permit thing

我们没去申请什么许可

Here we go

要发作啦

Are you saying

你的意思是

I'm standing on an unpermitted deck

我正站在一个无许可的平台上

It's been here for years Sheldon It's fine

谢尔顿都已经盖了好几年了没事的

How did the inspector not flag this

检查员当时来你们家

when he came to check out your bathroom renovation

检查浴室装修的时候怎么没提出示警

Are you telling me that I have showered

你不会是告诉我我曾经在

in an uninspected bathroom

未受检查过的浴室里洗过澡吧

You showered in our house

你在我们家洗过澡吗

You made me hold your children What did you expect me to do

你让我抱过你的小孩你要我怎么办

You think you know people

知人知面不知心啊

You do know them Sheldon

你知道他们的心啊谢尔顿

Yeah but but do we Do we really know them

但是是真的吗我们是真的知道人家的心吗

Yes

是啊

They're rule breakers Amy

艾米他们可是规则破坏者

And you know what we do with rule breakers

你知道我们该怎么对待规则破坏者吗

Complain about them to our spouse

跟自己的伴侣不停地抱怨他们

until she's ready to drive into oncoming traffic

直到伴侣受不了开车冲向对面的车阵中

You can't cross a double yellow line

你不能穿越双黄线啊

What is this the Purge

你以为是电影《人类清除计划》啊

So I guess you're not gonna help them

所以我想你是不打算帮他们了

Oh I'm gonna help them

我要帮他们

help them get on the right side of Johnny Law

帮助他们投入守法的怀抱

Oh you can't turn them in

你不能去举报他们啊

The city's gonna make them rip out

市政府会让他们把所有的装修

all the work they've done and do it over

全部都拆了然后再重新盖

It would be the end of your friendship

到时候你跟他们的友谊就毁了

What choice do I have These are the rules

我能有什么选法律就是法律

Sheldon I am begging you Please don't do this

谢尔顿我求你了别这么做

You know who doesn't get permits for their decks Animals

你知道谁才不会为平台申请许可吗动物

Animals don't have decks

动物才没有平台

Oh really I have one word for you beavers

是吗那我送你一个词海狸

Bert Raj

伯特拉杰

Can't believe they're gonna cut that

真不敢相信他们要用这个

with this punk ass diamond saw

垃圾金刚石锯切

Geez

要命了

在此处排队

Oh hey look

你看看

"Siglature "

"谦名"

Next ‭Hello

-下一位 -你好

Hi Welcome to the zone zone

你好欢迎来到区区

Oh that's funny

真好笑

Hey I also have a joke for you

我也有个笑话回敬你

Lumen ade

流明水

Maybe I told it wrong

可能我讲得不对

Well how can I help you

有何能为您效劳呢

If I know someone in violation of the building code

如果我知道某些人违反了建筑条例

should I turn them in

我应该举报他们吗

Interesting question

这问题很有意思

Yeah I know Because on the one hand

我知道因为一方面

Confucius says we owe a greater responsibility

孔子说过我们对亲近之人的责任

to people we're close with rather than to society at large

大于对整个社会的责任

But on the other hand Socrates says that

但另一方面苏格拉底说过

we're obligated to obey all laws even unjust ones

我们必须遵守所有法律哪怕是不公正的法律

And then furthermore if we're entertaining rules

此外如果我们把破坏规则

about when it's okay to break the rules

当作儿戏

I should where does it end

我应该... 那什么时候能到头

Well for me it ends at 5 00

对我来说 5点到头

Well I just I don't know what to do

我不知道怎么办了

All I can tell you is that the building codes

我只能告诉你建筑条例

are there for everyone's safety

是为了所有人的安全

Oh so you're saying I have no choice but to turn them in

你是说我别无选择必须举报他们

I did not say that

我没这样说

But would you

但你会这样说吗

And remember that I laughed at your "zone zone" Joke

别忘了你的"区区"笑话我可是有捧场

It's not even a joke

那根本算不上是笑话

Oh is that Linda back there

后面的是琳达吗

Yeah ‭

是的

How are her hot flashes Any better

她的更年期潮热好些了吗

Leonard what are you doing

莱纳德你做什么

Showing you that this is the better way

让你们看这是更好的办法

Stop Whatever's inside there is dangerous

住手里面的东西很危险

And pretty

而且很漂亮

What is that

这是什么

Are you okay ‭

你还好吗

Yeah I'm fine I'm just feeling a little

我没事只是觉得有点...

hungry

饿

Stop eating Bert

别吃伯特了

Keep eating Bert

继续吃伯特

Leonard Leonard ‭ What What

-莱纳德 -怎么了

You're having a bad dream

你做噩梦了

Oh thank God

谢天谢地

I was eating my friends

我梦到吃自己的两个朋友

Well one friend and one acquaintance

应该算一个朋友一个认识的人

You know what Bert's okay Two friends

伯特也挺好算是朋友吧

Let me see if you're running a fever

让我看看你有没有发烧

Yeah

好

Oh yeah you're burning up

烧得很厉害

Geez Are you okay

天啊你还好吗

That depends What what color are my eyes

得看情况我的眼睛是什么颜色

I don't know brown

我不知道棕色

No green No wait brown

不绿色等等棕色

Oh good I'm awake

很好我醒了

Howie someone's here to see you

华仔有人找你

Hello

你好

Hey What's going on

有什么事

Can you come over here

你能过来吗

Sheldon the deck is safe You can walk on it

谢尔顿平台很安全你可以走上来

Oh that gets the heart going

害人家小心肝砰砰跳

So what's up

有什么事

I went down to the city Code Compliance Office to turn you in

我去建筑许可局举报你

Are you kidding

开玩笑吗

But I didn't do it

但我没有举报

I filled out the form and then realized

我填表时发现

that the unwritten rules of friendship

友谊的不成文规定

are more important than the written rules

比阿尔塔迪纳市

of the city of Altadena's Zoning and Planning Department

区划规划部的成文规定重要多了

Really "Aw"

有必要感动吗

And you'll be happy to know that while I was there

我相信你会很高兴听到我在那里时

I did look into your neighbor's balcony

查了你邻居家的阳台

and it is encroaching on your property line

的确侵占到你家的土地

I had all this pent up snitch energy

我想举报你的那股冲动劲儿正无处发泄

so I reported him hard

所以我狠狠举报了他一番

What did they say

他们怎么说

He's going to have to remove it

他必须拆掉

So the good guys win

好人胜利了吗

Well I don't know if I'd call you the good guys

我不知道能否称你们为好人

You're enforcing a law on him

你们把法律强加在他身上

that you're willfully ignoring yourselves

但你们却故意自己不遵守法律

Uh all right fine

好吧

So the morally compromised guys win

所以没啥道德感的人胜利了

Apparently so

显然是的

Now if one of you'd be kind enough to take me home

现在你们谁送我回家

I need to use my bathroom

我要用我家的厕所

What's wrong with the one here

我家厕所有什么问题

I'm sorry I want to live

抱歉我想活下去

Hey You guys got a second

你们有时间吗

Leonard I told you buddy We don't need to use your laser

莱纳德我跟你说过了我们不用你的激光

Yeah all we need is Terry Brad saw

我们只需要泰瑞·布拉德锯

That's what I named my saw

这是我用明星名谐音哏给锯子取的名

No I I just wanted to apologize for yesterday

不我想为昨天的事道歉

I just I think I was jealous you know

我想我嫉妒了

Sheldon and Amy might win a Nobel Prize

谢尔顿和艾米可能赢得诺贝尔奖

and now you guys have this cool meteorite project

现在你们有这么酷的陨石项目

Really You're jealous of us ‭ Yeah

-真的你嫉妒我们 -对

I even had this crazy dream last night where I ate you both

我甚至做了疯狂的梦梦里我吃了你们俩

Seriously ‭

真的吗

I know I was pretty out of it

我知道挺夸张的

Who'd you eat first

你先吃了谁

Oh Uh you

你

Nice

很好

This is just delightful

真是太舒服了

Do you think he knows we're the ones that got him in trouble

你觉得他知道是我们把他供出去的吗

Who cares ‭ I do I met his wife She seems really nice

-谁在乎 -我在乎我见过他的老婆人挺好

Sorry about the noise neighbor

抱歉这些嗓音邻居

No problem

没关系

Hey you guys know a Sheldon Cooper

你们认识谢尔顿·库珀吗

No we do not

不不认识

Is it just me or has no one been in the store for hours

是我的错觉吗还是店里空了几小时

Yeah it is weirdly quiet

的确安静得很诡异

Nobody's in the street

街上没人

Huh Well that's strange

真奇怪

You thinking what I'm thinking

你的想法和我的想法一样吗

They cut that meteorite open and unleashed a space plague

他们切开陨石释放了宇宙瘟疫

Exactly

正是

Let me just lock up here

我把门锁好

Okay So what do we do

好我们怎么办

Uh well if this is a worst case scenario

如果发生最坏的情况

and we're the last two people alive we're gonna

我们是最后两个大活人我们就得...

we're gonna have to rebuild civilization

我们就必须重建文明社会

Do you have any special skills

你有什么特别技能吗

I can draw

我会画画

How 'bout you

你呢

I can play clarinet

我会吹单簧管

Oh I didn't know that

我都不知道呢

Yeah ten years ‭

吹了十年

You know it uh might also be up to us to

可能还要依靠我们两个

repopulate the Earth

重新繁衍地球人

I'm okay with that

我没意见

So shall we

要开始吗

Wait here I'm gonna brush my teeth

等等我先去刷牙

Sorry we're closed

抱歉我们打烊了

结束营业

This is going on Yelp

我会在网上给你差评