生活大爆炸-S09E15_生活大爆炸

S01

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Hey gentlemen Hello

-各位好啊 -好

If any of you are looking for something to do on Valentine's Day

如果你们有人还在想情人节要做什么

Amy and I'll be streaming our first ever

我跟艾米将首次在网上直播

live episode of Fun With Flags

我们的《有趣的旗帜》节目

You're welcome to join us as we celebrate the timeless

欢迎你们加入我们一起来庆祝

love affair between wind and flapping fabric

风与飘扬布料那永恒的爱恋

Penny and I have dinner reservations that night

我跟佩妮那天晚上定好餐厅吃饭了

but any other time no

其他任何时间我们也不看

Sorry Bernie and I are breaking in the new hot tub

抱歉我跟妮妮要给新浴缸来个"启用仪式"

if you know what I mean

懂我说的是啥意思吧

Not a clue Raj

完全不懂拉杰呢

Spending Valentine's Day with Emily

跟艾米丽共度情人节

You don't sound very excited about it

你听起来不是太期待啊

Oh I am I am I g I guess

没有啊我挺期待吧

I'm still wondering if Emily and I are right for each other

可能我还不确定我跟艾米丽到底适不适合

Does this have to do with that girl you had coffee with

这不会跟喝咖啡的那个女生有关吧

You mean the strong sexy angel I can't stop thinking about

你是说那位我魂萦梦牵的身心灵完美女神吗

Who can say

谁知道啊

You've been talking about breaking up with Emily forever

你念叨着要跟艾米丽分手多久了

Why don't you just do it already

你为什么不赶紧分了得了

Yeah just get it over with

早死早超生

Well you say it like it's easy

你们说得好像很简单

Have any one of youever broken up with anyone

你们之中有任何人跟别人分手过吗

No Not really

-没 -不太

You know uh once I ordered an Uber by accident

有一次我不小心叫了车

I just got in and went somewhere

我只能默默上车随便去了个地方

生

活

大

爆

炸

第九季第十五集

So you really gonna break up with her

你真的要跟她分手吗

Yeah I think so

我想是的

Do you have any advice

有任何建议吗

Well I have broken up with my fair share of guys

我这一生甩过无数男子

I mean how many times did I break up with Leonard

你知道我甩过莱纳德几次吗

I stopped counting at four

第四次之后我就不数了

All right my advice to you is do it at her place

我给你的建议就是去她家提分手

so you can leave when you need to

这样你需要走人时就随时能走

uh tell the truth make it quick

实话实说快刀斩乱麻

and be prepared for tears

做好会有人喷泪的准备

Oh I'm gonna do a pre cry before I go in there

我已经打算在进她家前先预哭一场

Really dry myself out

先把我的眼泪哭干

She meant Emily

她指的是艾米丽

No I I really didn't

没真的不是指她

You're seriously breaking up with me

你真的要跟我分手吗

Yeah

是的

And you thought right before Valentine's Day

然后你觉得在情人节前提分手

was a good time to do it

是好时机吗

You're right let's talk again in a few days

有道理那我们几天后再谈吧

Hey Claire Hi It's it's Rajesh

克莱儿是我拉杰什

I was I was wondering if you're free for Valentine's Day

不知道你情人节那天有没有空

Sorry I just got back with my boyfriend

抱歉我刚跟我男朋友复合

But I just broke up with my girlfriend

但我为了你甩了我女朋友呢

Right before Valentine's Day

情人节前甩人家吗

What an ass

真是个渣男

Please take me back Our love was meant to be

求你别不要我我们的爱是天作之合

I'm gonna all alone on Valentine's Day

我情人节要当单身狗了

Well you were right tears

你说得真没错喷泪

Okay and we are live in 22 minutes

22分钟后我们就要开始直播了

I'm nervous I hope people will be around to watch

我好紧张希望观众们能来收看

even though it's Valentine's Day

哪怕今天是情人节

People who are fans of an Internet show about flags

收看旗帜知识网络节目的观众们吗

Trust me they're around

放心吧情人节他们绝对有空

Oh and speaking of Valentine's Day I haven't

说到情人节我今晚

forgotten about you tonight

才不会忘记你呢

What do you mean

你什么意思

Well you've become such an integral part of my life

你现在变成了我生命中与这节目

as well as this show

不可分割的一部分

I felt it only right to include your name in the title

我觉得应该把你加入到节目名字中

That is so sweet

你真是太贴心了

So from now on this program will be officially known as

从今天开始这个节目的名称将会是

Dr Sheldon Cooper

谢尔顿·库珀博士

and Dr Amy Farrah Fowler

与艾米·菲拉·福勒博士

present Dr Sheldon' Cooper's Fun With Flags

倾情奉献谢尔顿·库珀博士的《有趣的旗帜》

Catchy

朗朗上口啊

I'm gonna check the temp on the tub

我去检查一下浴缸的温度

Don't make it too hot

别弄太热

Sorry but "too hot"

抱歉但"太热"辣

is the only temperature I come in

是本美男唯一的温度

Look at that

看看

you shaved it all

光溜溜的青龙

You're welcome

不用谢

Um question this is my first hot tub

提问这是我首次泡按摩浴缸

is it supposed to come with a rat flopping around in it

里面有耗子漂浮着是正常的吗

Ew really Get it out

真的吗快弄走

How

怎么弄

Uh wish we had a skimmer

我们有个漏勺就好了

Uh you turn off the jets

你把按摩喷头关掉

I'll get a strainer from the kitchen

我去厨房拿滤网

I don't know how to turn off the jets

我不知道怎么关掉喷头

Good I don't know where we keep the strainer

很好我也不知道你滤网收哪

Excuse me

借过

Uh bad news

有坏消息

The maitre d' said it's gonna be at least an hour

领班说至少还得等一小时

An hour What That's crazy We have a reservation

一小时别闹了我们明明订了位

I know So what did you say

-对啊 -那你怎么说的

Thanks sorry to bother you

谢谢抱歉打扰了

But I said it like a badass

我用恶狠狠的语气说的

All right well can't you like

你就不能比如...

slip him some money or something

塞点钱贿赂他之类的吗

Really I've never done that before Does it work

真的吗我没这么做过真能行吗

Do people like money is that what you're asking

你是在问我"人们喜不喜欢钱"吗

A A lot of attitude from the woman

某个知识量小到以为

who thought MC squared was a rapper

mc2是饶舌歌手名的人脾气倒是挺大啊

Now is that a smart thing to say on a holiday

大过节的你这么说明智吗

that's basically national sex night

今晚基本算是全国操操夜

I'm sorry You're pretty I'm stupid

对不起你很漂亮我是白痴

Hello

你好

Just checked again for Hofstadter

麻烦再看看到霍夫斯塔德了没

Still gonna be an hour

还要等一小时吗

I'm afraid so

恐怕是的

Okay Thanks

好的谢谢

I think you may have dropped this

这可能是你掉的吧

Did anybody lose a 20

谁丢了一张20块

I did

我

Oh I took care of it

我都处理好了

Okay we are live

马上开始直播

5 4 3

in five, four, three...

Oh wait Oh shoot I already pushed the button

等等糟糕我已经按下按钮了

Never mind we're live

没关系直播已开始

Uh hello

大家好

and welcome to a special live edition

欢迎收看直播特别版

of Dr Sheldon Cooper

谢尔顿·库珀博士

and Dr Amy Farrah Fowler present

与艾米·菲拉·福勒博士出品的

Dr Sheldon Cooper's Fun With Flags

谢尔顿博士的《有趣的旗帜》

Consider tonight's episode

请将今晚这一集

a Valentine's Day gift for you our viewers

当作送给你们的情人节礼物吧观众们

It's also my gift to you

同时也是我送你的礼物

That was clear right

这够明显了对吧

'Cause you're not getting anything else

因为你不会得到别的礼物了

Since we're live

鉴于我们是在直播

you'll finally be able to reach out to us

你们终于可以即时联系到我们

with your flag thoughts and flag questions

提出你们的旗思旗问

Allow us to answer a few quick ones that we get all the time

我们先快速回答几个常有人问的问题

Uh uh yes I really am a doctor

是的我真的是一名博士

Uh yes she really is my girlfriend

是的她真的是我的女朋友

No I just blink a lot

不是我只是习惯老眨眼

it's not Morse code for "Rescue me "

并不是在打摩斯密码求救

Oh uh ok

好的

Uh here's our first call

有观众打进第一通电话

Hello and welcome to Fun With Flags

你好欢迎来到《有趣的旗帜》

What's your question

你有什么问题吗

What is wrong with me

我脑子是哪里有病

Why am I so self destructive

为什么我总是自我毁灭

Rajesh

拉杰什

Yes

是我

Whenever things are going well I always find a way to ruin it

每当事情一帆风顺时我总有方法毁掉它

You two look happy how do you do it

你俩看起来很幸福是怎么做到的

I I think it starts with good communication

我觉得是始于良好的沟通

Yeah wait that's not a flag question

是啊等等这问题跟旗帜无关

Next caller

下一位

I hope you don't think I'm just saying this

我希望你不会认为我这么说

because it's Valentine's Day but

是因为今天是情人节但...

I love you so much

我真的好爱你

I'm gonna put this down your robe

我要把这玩意扔进你浴袍里

It's not moving but I think it's still alive

它不动了但我觉得它还活着

Well should we put it back in there a few minutes

那该把它扔回去多泡几分钟吗

不必

No and it's not a rat it's a rabbit

这不是老鼠是只兔子

We need to save it

我们得救救它

Well how do we do that

我们该怎么做

Um I don't know look it up on your phone

我不知道你用手机查查

I I'm gonna wrap it in a towel

我拿毛巾包着它

"Taking care of injured rabbit "

"照顾受伤的兔子"

Okay

有了

Make sure it's comfortable and warm

确保它既舒服又暖和

Well it was just in a hot tub I'm gonna say "Check "

它刚泡在热水浴缸里这条符合

Anything else

还有别的吗

To make sure it's not dehydrated

确保它没有脱水

feed him an electrolyte solution

喂他一勺电解质溶液

If it's not responding

如果没有反应

use a warm cloth to wash its face and genitals

用一块暖布帮他擦洗脸和生殖器

Yeah

好耶

This is ridiculous

这真是太过分了

You know I'm gonna go talk to the maitre d

我要去找那个领班谈谈

What are you gonna say

你要说什么

I don't know I'm I'm gonna flirt with him

我不知道我去嗲他几下吧

I don't know if I'm comfortable with that

我不知道我是否能接受这事

I'm still sleeping with you tonight

我今晚还是跟你"睡"啊

See if you can get a table by the window

你看看能不能弄到靠窗的桌子

Hi there What's your name

你好你叫什么

Glen Oh boy

-格伦 -天啊

it is crazy in here tonight huh Glen

今晚这里人真是超多啊格伦

Well you know Valentine's Day Yes

-情人节嘛你懂的 -是啊

Bet your girlfriend is super bummed

我猜你女友一定超级郁闷

you had to work tonight

你今晚得上班

Anyway look we have been waiting a while and I just

听着我们等了挺长时间了我有点...

With all due respect ma'am

恕我直言女士

there's nothing I can do

我无能为力

You don't have to call me ma'am

你用不着叫我"女士"

Okay

好的

I mean we're basically the same age

我们应该年纪相仿

Okay

好的

How old are you

你几岁

I'm 21 How old are you

我21岁你呢

Just shut up Glen

把嘴闭上格伦

Come on let's get out of here

走吧我们离开这里

What Why Because I'm young Let's go

-为什么 -因为姐年轻走吧

Rajesh it's perfectly normal

拉杰什分手后

to have doubts after breaking up with someone

产生自我怀疑非常正常

Well you really think so

你真的这么认为吗

Yeah you know what's not normal

是啊你知道什么不正常吗

Blubbering about emotions during a flag show

在一个旗帜节目里哭诉个人情绪

Unless that emotion is excitement over New Zealand

除非那种情绪是因为新西兰要变更国旗

changing their flag

喜极而泣

Yeah good luck you crazy Kiwis

祝你们好运哦疯狂的新西兰人

we're rooting for you

我们全力支持你们

Your friend is hurting

你的朋友正在伤心呢

No Sheldon's right

不谢尔顿说得对

Emily did say I always talk about my feelings too much

艾丽米说过我老对自己的感受喋喋不休

I I suppose that

我想

could be a legitimate concern in a relationship

这应该算是恋爱中需要注意的一点

Uh perhaps even a a red flag

甚至可以算作恋爱路上的危险红旗

And speaking of red flags

说到红旗

check out this sexy number from the former Soviet Union

请看这面来自前苏联的性感红旗

Hubba hubba

相当地诱人吧

Uh we we have another caller

又有一位观众打电话来了

Hi You're on Fun with Flags

你好这里是《有趣的旗帜》

Hello I want to talk about how lonely I am too

你好我也想倾诉下我有多孤独

Kripke Is that you

克里普克是你吗

Yeah I'm just sitting here all by myself

是我我独自一人坐在电脑前

wondering if I'll ever find someone to share my life with

思考着我这辈子是否还能找到我的爱人

Preferably Asian 18 24 no fatties

最好是亚洲人 18至24岁不能是胖妞

Please all comments and questions

拜托所有的留言和问题

should be flag related

都必须和旗帜有关

All right Is my pole flag related

好啊我裤裆中的"旗杆"算吗

I don't see why not

当然算啦

He's eating That's a good sign

他开始吃东西了这是个好现象

You're gonna have to wait one hour

吃饭以后要等上一个小时

until you can go swimming again

才能再游泳哦

He's pretty cute He is

-他好可爱哦 -的确

Should we name him

我们应该...给他取名吗

It is Valentine's Day

今天是情人节[圣华伦丁节]

How about Valentino

就叫华伦天奴怎么样

Nice A classic rabbit name

很好很经典的小兔名字

Peter Rabbit Roger Rabbit

彼得兔罗杰兔

皆为著名的卡通兔子

Valentino Wolowitz Rabbit

华伦天奴·沃罗威茨兔

Oh look at all that chest hair and overbite

看看你茂密的胸毛和小龅牙

Of course you're a Wolowitz

完全就是沃罗威茨家族的一员呀

Son of a bitch He bit me

我勒个去他咬了我

Are you okay

你没事吧

No I'm not okay

当然有事了

Wild rabbits can have rabies

野兔可能携带狂犬病呢

Oh Well why did you put your finger near its mouth

谁叫你把手指放在他的嘴边

Poor judgment obviously

明显是因为我犯傻嘛

He's so little I'm sure it's fine

他这么小我想应该没事的

How can it be fine I just got attacked

怎么可能没事我刚刚被一只

by a clearly anti Semitic wild animal

具有反犹太倾向的野生动物袭击了

It's not what we planned

虽然和我们原计划不一样

but this isn't so bad right

但这样也不坏对吧

It is freaking amazing

这实在是太赞了

Well glad you're feeling better

很高兴看你心情好一点了

I was just hungry and cranky

我刚才是又饿又憋气

and I've never been called "Ma'am" before

我从来没被人叫过"女士"呢

Is that a big deal Kind of

-这件事很严重吗 -算严重吧

When was the first time someone called you "Sir"

你第一次被叫作"先生"是什么时候

Sixth grade

小学六年级

but I wore a sport coat and carried a briefcase so

当时我穿着休闲西装提着公文包所以...

Can you believe when I met you I was 22

你能相信我遇见你时才22岁吗

I mean it's crazy

真是时光匆匆啊

Where did all that time go

时间都去哪儿了

Mm you watched The Bachelor a lot

都被你用来看《单身汉》相亲节目了

Yeah go ahead and make jokes

你想开玩笑就开吧

but your thirties are almost over

但你的三十岁也马上就要过完了

No they're not

才怪

You're closer to 40 than you are 30

比起30岁来你更接近40岁了

You married an old man

你嫁给了一个老头子

Tell you what Let's do something fun tonight

这样吧今晚我们来找点乐子

Won't make us any younger

这又不会让我们变年轻

Well maybe not but some day we actually will be old

也许不会但等我们真正老去的那天

and we'll look back on this night

我们回想到今晚

and remember what a good time we had

仍然会怀念起今夜的好时光

Okay like what

比如什么

I know Food fight

我想到了食物大战

I'll keep thinking

我再继续想吧

Look I know you both feel bad about being alone

我知道你俩为单身而难过

but sometimes the best thing you can do

但有时最好的解决办法

is take a little time for yourself

就是给自己一点时间

especially when you just got out of a relationship

尤其是当你刚刚结束一段关系的时候

Speaking of ending relationships

说到结束关系

when British Honduras became Belize

当英属洪都拉斯改名为伯利兹时

they designed a new flag with a tree on it

他们设计了一面画着树的国旗

and I would like to hang myself from that tree

现在我想在那棵树上吊死来结束生命

But Amy when you and Sheldon split up

可是艾米当你和谢尔顿分手时

didn't you start dating someone right away

你不是立刻就和其他人约会了吗

Well I I wouldn't say right away

我不觉得那算是立刻

And actually it was three different men

而且实际上她约会了3个人

Three different men

3个人吗

Damn girl way to give the milk away

我去妹子太会主动给猪送白菜了吧

Oh looks like we just lost Kripke

克里普克好像断线了

Actually I'm still here

没有我还在线上

Now Yup

-现在呢 -还在

Now Yup

-现在呢 -还在

Now

现在呢

Oh looks like we just lost Kripke

克里普克好像断线了

Before Emily I was alone for so long

在艾米丽之前我曾经单身了好长时间

I just I don't know if I can do that again

我不知道是否还能再挺过单身的日子

Well you know here is something that might cheer you up

有件事可能会让你开心一点

The flag of the Isle of Man

英属曼岛的国旗

is nothing but three legs

上面是共穿一条奇怪内裤的

sharing a weird pair of underpants so

三条大光腿所以...

you think you got problems

你觉得只有你有大问题吗

I have an idea

我有个主意

Maybe someone in our audience

也许咱们观众中的某人

would be interested in meeting Rajesh

可能会有兴趣和拉杰什见面

Ladies I can attest that he is a kind

姑娘们我可以证明他是一个善良

handsome intelligent

帅气聪明

Rich parents Don't forget rich parents

富二代别忘了说我是富二代

spoiled astrophysicist who not only

被宠坏了的天体物理学家不仅...

Well that was quick

行动够快的

Hi You're on Fun with Flags

你好这里是《有趣的旗帜》

Hey I think I got cut off

喂我刚刚好像断线了

Hello Kripke

你好克里普克

I have a flag question

我有一个旗帜问题

How many men did you have sex with

你睡过几个男人

Let's see What's young and fun

找找什么东西年轻有趣

Uh we could go dancing

我们可以去跳舞

Are you actually gonna dance

你是真准备下舞池跳吗

Of course Yeah

当然了对啊

No one wants to see that

就别害别人得自戳双目了

Hey how about skinny dipping at the beach

去海边裸泳如何

No I don't need any fish nibbling my business

不去我经不起另一种"鱼水之欢"了

Oh there's a screening of Moulin Rouge

有《红磨坊》演出

I heard the crowd sings along and stuff

听说观众和演员都一起唱

That sounds fun When's it start

好像挺有意思的几点开始

Midnight

午夜

Midnight Really

午夜不是吧

You know what Let's do it

管它呢我们去吧

Okay great

好的太棒了

Oh wait Uh it's sold out

等等票卖光了

Oh thank God Yes

-谢天谢地 -太棒了

It says rabies in rabbits is highly unlikely

上面说兔子传播狂犬病的几率很小

Oh terrific It's not terrific

-太好了 -一点都不好

Lots of highly unlikely things happen

小概率的事发生得还少吗

You saw what's under this robe and you still married me

你见过这浴袍下的胴体居然还嫁给我

If you're really worried we'll take him to the vet

你要是真的担心就带它去看兽医

and have him tested Good Thank you

-让兽医检测一下 -好的谢谢

Oh okay there is a test

好找到个测试

All they have to do is

你只需要...

cut off his head and check his brain

劈开它的头检查大脑

Oh cut off his head

劈开它的头

That's where his little nose is

那小鼻子就在头上呢

He's not showing any symptoms

它没有任何狂犬症状

I guess I'll just go to the emergency room to be safe

我还是去自己急诊室确认一下吧

Howie this is just your hypochondria

华仔这只是你的臆想病犯了

No when I sat on the mute button

不是我坐到静音键上

and thought I'd gone deaf that was my hypochondria

以为自己聋了那才叫臆想病

We'll find another time to tell him I'm pregnant

我们另找个时间告诉他我怀孕了吧

外国会用"the rabbit died[兔子死掉]"来指女人怀孕

I mean this is the first time I've ever broken up with someone

这是我第一次跟人分手

I just I didn't realize it was gonna hurt this much

没有想到会如此心痛

It really can

是这样的

All right

行了

Nothing about this is fun

这一点都不有趣

No one wants to talk about flags

没人想聊旗帜

and I haven't spoken in over ten minutes

而我已经十分钟插不上话了

so enjoy your new show Internet

所以互联网请欣赏新节目

Dr Amy Farrah Flower Present With

由艾米·菲拉·福勒博士出品的《的》

I'm sorry for bothering you

抱歉打扰到你们了

I'll hang up now

我马上挂

No hold on Rajesh

不要等等拉杰什

You know you're not being very sympathetic

你这样非常没有同情心

You know firsthand that breakups are hard

分手的痛楚你最清楚不过了

Fine

好吧

If you insist on making me a part of this

如果你坚持让我参与的话

yes I knowledge how painful they can be

是的我了解这有多痛苦

However pain has an evolutionary purpose

尽管如此这种痛苦有进化的作用

It provides information from the environment

这让我们获得外部提供的信息

that uh behavior isn't good for us

这种行为对我们有负面影响

Like when I fell in love with that stripper

比如我爱上了那个脱衣舞女

and bought her a Prius

给她买了一辆丰田普锐斯

I'm just gonna push all the buttons

我要把所有键都按一遍

Raj now I'm sorry you're suffering

拉杰我很遗憾你觉得痛苦

When Amy and I were broken up I also suffered

当初我和艾米分手时我也很痛苦

And this may sound surprising

说起来也许你不信

but I'm grateful for having gone through it

但我很感激有过这段磨难

Really

真的吗

Yes

是的

I believe our relationship now is stronger than ever

我相信我们现在的感情前所未有的牢固

So do I

我也是

When when we were apart

在我们分手期间

I learned how important you are to me

我了解到你对我有多重要

And I realize that when two people are in love

也意识到当两个人相爱

sometimes they

有时候他们...

Happy Valentine's Day

情人节快乐

We are young and fun

我们年轻又有趣

I stand corrected

我认错

Fun

有趣

Congratulations on a successful live show

恭喜直播节目成功

And a lovely Valentine's Day

还有美好的情人节

Cleaning up is not young and fun

打扫清洁真是不年轻也不有趣

It can be Confetti fight

怎么不是彩花大战

Maybe you should take a break

你去歇会吧

I got this

我来就好

Did you know the singular of confetti is "confetto"

你知道彩花的单数是彩片吗

Interesting and when would you use the singular

有意思但哪时会需要用单数表示

I'm glad you asked

问得好

Amy you have a confetto in your nose

艾米你鼻子里有一张彩片

不不不另一边

There you go

这就对了