生活大爆炸-S05E06_生活大爆炸

S01

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So what kind of cruise is this you're going on

您这次要参加的是什么样的巡航

It's called the Born Again Boat Ride

这次水上之行称为"重生之旅"

Christian Quarterly gave it their highest rating

基督教季刊给予了这次旅途最高的评价

five thorny crowns

五颗荆棘王冠呢

I do wish you'd come with me Sheldon

我真希望你能跟我一起去谢尔顿

Well Mom if I did it would be conclusive proof

老妈如果我去了就等于直接证明

that your God can work miracles

您的神真的能造就奇迹

You're missing out

这你可就错了

It's gonna be wall to wall fun

到时候欢乐肯定无所不在

It's all themed

全都有主题哦

There's Jonah and the Whale watching

届时能看到"约拿和鲸鱼"[圣经故事]

All you can eat Last Supper Buffet

你还能吃到名为"最后的晚餐"的自助餐

And my personal favorite Gunning with God

以及我本人的最爱 "神之恕击"

What's Gunning with God I'm afraid to ask

我冒昧的问一下什么叫"神之恕击"

Oh it is a hoot and a half

说起来非常的有趣

You write your sins on a clay pigeon

首先将你的罪恶写在一个泥制飞靶上

they fire 'em up in the air

再用机器把靶子弹射出去

and you pulverize them with a 12 gauge shotgun

然后你拿一把12发弹容的散弹枪打爆它

full of our Lord's forgiveness

充满了神的宽恕啊

Frankly Mom I'm encouraged to see

老实说妈妈我很高兴看到

how advanced your group has become

你们天主教团思想进步了

暗讽《圣经》里多处暗示大地是一块平板

you are willing to sail out into the ocean

敢于出海

without fear of falling off the edge

不再担心地球是平的船会摔下去

For example

打个比方

if Shelly was aboard he'd write

如果谢利在船上他应该

"Smart mouth" on his pigeon

在飞靶写上"牙尖嘴利"

and then bam

然后来个五雷轰顶

The Lord giveth and the Lord bloweth away

神予之神毁之

Well Mom according to my itinerary for our weekend together

老妈根据我们以往周末的安排

the fun begins with fried chicken Sounds delicious

-欢乐应该始于炸鸡 -听起来很美味啊

Good 'cause I got you everything you need to make it

很好因为我已经帮你备齐了所有材料

You are in for a treat

你有口福了

My mother's fried chicken

我爸的棺材

is why we had to buy my dad the extra large coffin

之所以变成加大号的就是因为我妈的炸鸡美味

Sheldon she just got off the plane

谢尔顿她刚下飞机

She doesn't want to cook

她不想做饭了

Of course she does

她当然想做

Making me food is her way of saying "I love you""

做饭给我吃是她向我表达"我爱你"的方式

Making me food when she's too tired to cook

在她筋疲力尽的时候做给我吃

is her way of saying "I really love you "

是她向我表达"我真的很爱你"的方式

Actually I wouldn't mind going out for a bite Sheldon

其实我并不介意出去吃谢尔顿

Won't that spoil our appetites

吃那些粗粮

for the chicken you're going to make me

会坏了吃炸鸡的好胃口吧

All right that settles it we're going out

好了就这么定了我们出去吃

Do you like sushi There's a great little place down the street

你喜欢吃寿司吗街上有家小店不错

I've never had it

我没吃过寿司

but there's no harm in trying something new

不过试试新鲜事物总没什么坏处

There's a lot of harm in trying something new

尝试新鲜事物坏处多了

That's why we test out drugs and cosmetics on bunny rabbits

所以要用兔子来测试药物和化妆品的安全性

Sheldon you're talking like a crazy person

谢尔顿你的言行像个疯子

Actually I had him tested as a child

其实他小时候我带他检查过了

Doctor says he's fine

医生说他很正常

Told you

早跟你说了

Although I do regret not following up

虽然我很后悔没接着去找

with that specialist in Houston

休斯顿的那位专家

いらっしゃいます

欢迎光临

Stop yelling

别瞎嚷嚷了

I'm not happy about this

来这儿我很不开心

What's the last thing you were ever happy about

你这辈子什么时候开心过吗

The prospect of fried chicken

等着吃炸鸡的时候

This is exciting

真令人激动

Back home the diner on Route Four serves sushi

咱家四号公路线那的馆子也卖寿司

but it's just cut up fish sticks

但他们只是把炸鱼排切碎

and a side of Uncle Ben's

再配上"本恩大叔"牌速食米饭

They put it on the menu in those kung fu letters

即使他们用"功夫文"写菜单

but that don't make it sushi

但假货就假货

Uh kung fu letters might not be politically correct

额 "功夫文"好像有点种族歧视吧

Oh I thought the one we couldn't say was "ching chong"

我还以为只有"ching chong"是不能说的呢

ching chong:外国人模仿中国话发音变相对亚洲人的种族诋毁的词语

Yeah yeah that too

额对那个也不能说

So Shelly

谢利

what's up with you and your friend Amy

你和你的朋友艾米进展如何了

if you don't mind a mother prying a bit

如果你不介意妈妈窥探点隐私的话

Well there's actually big news on the Amy front

艾米的确有大进展

She's been studying

她最近在研究

the neurobiology of addiction in lower animals

神经生物学中有关低等生物的上瘾问题

She's this close to getting a starfish hooked on cocaine

她就差这么一点点就能让海星迷上可卡因了

Do you have any idea what's going on with those two

你知道他们两个发展的情况吗

It's kind of like the Loch Ness monster

他们俩的关系就像尼斯湖水怪

Maybe there's something there maybe there isn't

也许事实存在也许不存在

We'll probably never know

真相可能永远藏在湖里

But sometimes it's fun to creep yourself out thinking about it

偷想这问题来惊吓一下自己还是挺有意思的

How are you doing on the young lady front

你跟年轻女孩子相处得怎样

I hear you're in some sort of a long distance situation

我听闻你被异地恋困扰着

Yeah it's Raj's sister

是啊拉杰的妹妹

It's kind of tough She's in India

情况比较棘手她远在印度

Also her parents aren't happy she's dating someone white

她父母也不希望她跟白种人交往

Oh that's a funny turn isn't it

那真是个有趣的转机不是吗

You never think about it going the other way

在约会之前你怎么没想过这个问题呢

Well you can't force things

有些事情你强求不来

You need to figure out if you're in a relationship

你应该想想你们是否真的是在交往

or if you're just calling it one

还是你们只是名义上的

It's like they say a cat can have kittens in the oven

就好像常言道你可以把米放到电锅里

but that don't make 'em biscuits

不代表米就会成炊

And that reminds me of another saying

这提醒了我另外一句常言

You can lead a chicken to Crisco

你可以诱拐鸡跳炸锅

but you can't make your mother fry it

但不代表你能诱拐你妈去炸鸡

Sheldon you pester me one more time about chicken

谢尔顿你再拿鸡的事情烦我

I will put you over my knee right here in this restaurant

我就把你按到我膝盖上当众打你屁股

Please pester her Please for me

求你烦她吧就当为了我

So Mrs Cooper what did you think of the sushi

库珀夫人你觉得寿司如何

It was good

很不错

The only thing that would have made it better

唯一美中不足的是

is if it was cooked

它要是熟食就好了

and if it was beef

要是夹牛肉就更棒了

Sheldon when is your landlord going to fix the elevator

谢尔顿你房东何时能把电梯修理一下

I don't know

我不清楚

Lately we've been talking about

最近我们有在商量

converting it into a missile silo

把电梯改造成导弹发射井

Your son seems to think

你儿子似乎觉得

we need to launch a preemptive strike on Burbank

咱们得先对伯班克发动攻击啊

Get them before they get us

先下手为强后下手遭殃嘛

Hey look who decided to show up

看看是谁大驾光临了

Raj what are you doing

拉杰你搞什么

I couldn't find you guys so I bought six new friends

我找不到你们就买了六个新朋友

Three sadly are dead

可惜的是有三个已经阵亡了

Mom you remember Rajesh

妈妈你记得拉杰吗

Rajesh my mother Of course Mrs Cooper

-拉杰这位是我妈妈 -当然记得库珀夫人嘛

So nice to see you again

很高兴再见到你

Well it's so nice to see you too

我也是

I thought it was our Indians

我以为印第安人才偶有酗酒问题

that had the occasional alcohol problem

没想到印度人也会呀

印第安人和印度人都叫Indian

We don't say that either

这也带歧视不能说

I'll make you a list

我回头列个单子给你

Oh that would be mighty white of you

你真是太好了不愧是白人

So Raj what pain are you trying

拉杰你借酒浇愁

to cover up with alcohol

是为了什么事

Nothing I'm fine

没什么我很好

Are ya No

-是吗 -不我不好

That's better

这样好多了

Now tell me what's bothering you

说说你有什么困扰

I'm so lonely

我好孤独

Oh yes born alone die alone

当然了孤单的出生孤独的死去

It's a tragic human condition

人类就是如此悲剧

Now Raj

拉杰

if you'll excuse my mother

你快别烦我妈了

she's about to make a pecan pie

她要去给我做核桃派

that'll be so good

要是好吃

I'll almost forget how she blew it with the fried chicken

我就暂时不计较炸鸡的事

Sheldon your friend is hurtin'

谢尔顿你朋友很伤心

What do we do when someone's hurtin'

这个时候我们该怎么做

Offer them a hot beverage

给他们倒一杯热饮

And when they're drunk as a skunk

而要是他们喝得跟个鬼似的

what beverage do we offer

我们该给他们什么饮料

Coffee

咖啡

And what do we do it with

还得要怎样

Now you listen to me

现在你给我听好

I know you feel like you can't find someone

我知道你感觉自己注定是剩男

but there's a lock for every key

但每个问题都有解决方法

Back home there's a girl works at the Wal Mart

以前有个在沃尔玛工作的女孩

Tall tall girl

长得实在太高

Woman could hunt geese with a rake

她用钉耙就能把鹅从空中打下来了

Thought she'd never find a man

她觉得自己找不到男人

then one day wouldn't ya know

但有一天谁知道呢

Harlem Globetrotters come to town

哈林篮球队的人来到镇上

Harlem Globetrotters 哈林环球旅行者篮球队

Long story short

长话短说

today that woman travels the world

现在这个女人和一个

with a semi professional basketball player

半职业篮球选手周游世界

and two beautiful mixed race babies

还生了两个漂亮的混血宝宝

I didn't get a lot of that because of your accent

虽然因为你的口音问题我没怎么听懂

but the general tone was soothing

但你的语气很抚慰人心

and somehow I feel better

我感觉好多了

I'm not going to get my pecan pie am I

我吃不到核桃派了是吧

You want some Oreos

你想来点奥利奥吗

Double Stuf No regular

-混合夹心的吗 -不是普通的

Nice Kick a man when he's down

不错真会在伤口上撒盐

I'm glad we're finally getting to do something together

很高兴我们终于可以一起做点事情

just the two of us Sure

-就我们两个人 -当然

One thing you really miss when you're on vacation is laundry

出来度假还有衣服要洗真是开心啊

Careful you're using too much Downey

注意点你松软剂放太多了

You know if my clothes get too soft it makes me sleepy

要是我衣服太柔软我穿着会想睡觉的

Well this takes me back

这让我想起了以前的日子

Me doing your laundry you next to me criticizing

我帮你洗衣服而你在旁边碎碎念

It is nice isn't it

很有爱吧

Mrs Cooper

库珀夫人

Oh hello darlin'

你好亲爱的

Sheldon you didn't tell me your mom was coming

谢尔顿你都没告诉我你妈妈要来

It was in my weekly e mail blast

我在一周邮件集锦中写了的

Right between "Beet season is finally here"

就在"甜菜季终于来了"

and "Uh oh red stool from beets leads to cancer scare "

和"神马甜菜根会致癌"这两条中间

So how've you been

你最近怎么样

Good good

很好啊

I hear that Leonard has a new girlfriend

我听说莱纳德交了新女友

How are you doing with all that

你感觉怎么样

Oh fine You know it's been a while

还好啦已经过了一阵了

I'm getting back out there

我已经重新开始物色对象了

Let me ask you when you get back out there

我多嘴问一句你物色对象的时候

are you wearing this

不会是穿着这个吧

Well it's super cute on

这个吊带超好看的

That top has paid for itself in free drinks

全靠它别人才免费请我喝酒

like ten times what it cost

省下的酒钱都够买十件了

Yes Penny has a lot of her money tied up in promiscuity futures

对佩妮的钱基本都是靠滥交来的

Hon you think maybe the reason

亲爱的你也许该知道

why you're having trouble finding a guy to settle down with

你一直找不到一个合适的人

is because you're letting them ride the roller coaster

是因为你总让男人们先"上"车

without buying a ticket

而不让他们掏一个子儿

Oh they don't always get to ride the roller coaster

不是谁都有福分能"上"云霄飞车

Sometimes they only get to spin the teacups

没福分的就只能在一旁玩玩咖啡"杯"

Now I'm going out tonight

我今晚要出去

Would it be crazy to ask you

要是我请你帮我选衣服

to look at the outfit I'm going to wear

这样会不会太疯狂了

Oh not crazy at all

一点也不蠢

And don't beat yourself up

别看轻自己

When I was your age you could have me for a car ride

我像你这么大的时候

and a bottle of strawberry wine

一瓶草莓酒就能骗我出去兜风了

That will not be in this week's e mail blast

我可不会把这个写进本周邮件集锦里

So this spring

今年春天

I get to go to the International Space Station

我要出发去国际空间站

Oh my word a trip to the heavens

上帝啊上天堂呀

If you ever want to live there eternally

如果你想在那里定居

I've got a good book you could read

我这有本好书你可以看看

查理·布朗:史努比的主人

Thanks but I watch the Charlie Brown Christmas special every year

心领了不过我每年都看《查理·布朗的圣诞节》特辑

so I get the gist

所以也不会无聊

I bet your mom is really proud of you Nope

-你妈妈肯定很以你为荣 -不

She says if I don't back out

她说如果我不退出

she's going to go on a hunger strike

她就要绝食抗议

It would take years before

虽然离出现生命危险

she'd be in any kind of danger but still

得有好几年时间但我还是于心不忍

I've got a treat for us tomorrow Mom

我们明天去好好玩一天妈妈

I'm taking you

我要带你

to see Saul Perlmutter give a lecture

去看索尔·珀尔马特演讲

Saul Perlmutter 2011诺贝尔物理学家得主

about his Nobel Prize winning work in cosmology

他那赢得诺贝尔奖的宇宙学研究成果

And the best part is

但最精彩的部分是

at the Q and A afterward

在后面的问答阶段

I've worked up a couple of "Q's"

我准备了几个问题

that will stump his sorry "A "

绝对能把他问哭

I don't know Shelly

我不确定谢利

I thought we could do a little sightseeing

我觉得我们可以去观观光

What sight is better than your little boy

有什么景色能与你儿子

embarrassing a Nobel laureate

让诺贝尔奖得主颜面扫地相媲美呢

Come on Sheldon we'll take your mom

别这样谢尔顿我们可以带你妈

to see the Hollywood sign

去看看好莱坞标志

the wax museum the Walk of Fame

参观蜡像馆走走星光大道

Ooh maybe a little Rodeo Drive

也可以去逛逛罗迪欧大道[名牌商业街]

Well I can't spend $12 000 on a handbag

一万二的手袋我可买不起

but it's free to look upon those

但用正义的眼光谴责那些

who do with righteous condemnation

买得起的人这倒是不用花钱的

What do you say

你觉得怎么样

What do I say

我觉得怎么样

I say you people need to stop ruining my mom's visit

我真心觉得我妈来探望我关你们屁事

with your sushi and your sadness

去你的寿司滚你的悲伤

and your slutty shirts

还有你的放荡小吊带

Stop it

你们收手吧

He's not talking about your shirt Your shirt is fine

他不是说你你的衣服密不透风

These are delicious

这真是美味啊

The trick to pancakes is bacon grease

煎薄饼的秘诀就是用培根油

I cook everything in it

我做什么都放这油

Everything Aren't you worried about your health

每样都放吗你不怕有害健康吗

Oh doctors are always changing their mind

医生说话一向自相矛盾的

One week bacon grease is bad for you

这个星期说你不能吃培根油

The next week we're not getting enough of it

下个星期就说你吃得不够多

Good morning Shelly

早上好谢利

Mom I want to apologize for my behavior last night

妈妈我要为我昨晚的行为道歉

Apology accepted Great

-接受你的道歉 -太好了

Now you're going to love the Perlmutter lecture

你会喜欢珀尔马特的演讲的

Look he will be stating that the universe is older than 6 000 years

他会说宇宙现在已有六千多年历史

but I thought you could stick your fingers in your ears

我觉得这时你可以用手指塞住耳朵

and hum "Amazing Grace" during those parts

然后低声哼唱《奇异恩典》[基督教圣诗]

I am still going out with your friends

我还是要跟你朋友出去

But I apologized

可我已经道歉了

And that was hard for me because I didn't do anything wrong

我容易吗我我又没做错什么

Shelly I hung out with you in enough dusty lecture halls

谢利从小到大那些枯燥无味的演讲

while you were growing up

我已经陪你听得够多了

I want to go sightseeing

我现在要去观光

So why don't you have some pancakes

你何不吃点煎薄饼

get dressed and come with us

穿好衣服跟我们一起去

I'm not going and you can't make me

我不去你不能逼我

You're right I can't Have a nice day

你说得对我不能逼你你自个儿玩得开心点

Well I'm going to stand here until you change your mind

那我就一直站在这里直到你回心转意

Well then you are going to stand there all day

那你就在那儿站一天吧

I'm just gonna take my bacon grease and slide over there

我还是带上我的培根油闪一边去吧

I can't believe my own mother is abandoning me

真没想到我妈妈居然要抛弃我

I am not abandoning you

我没有要抛弃你

Sheldon abandoning you is leaving you in a basket

谢尔顿要抛弃你我早把你放篮子里

on a church doorstep

扔教堂门口了

I am going to Hollywood and thank a wax Ronald Reagan

我要去好莱坞对着里根总统的蜡像说

for his service to our country

感谢他对国家做的贡献

We appear to be at a crossroads in our relationship Mother

看来我们的母子关系处在十字路口了妈妈

Well I guess we are

看来如此

Sorry Syrup

不好意思忘了拿糖浆

All right Mom

好吧妈妈

在美国田纳西州纪念Robert Ripley

When you're at the Ripley's Believe It Or Not Museum

等你进到"瑞普利信不信由你"博物馆

if they have an exhibit about a mother who threw away a chance

如果那里有展出情愿扔掉大好机会

to spend the day with the world's most wonderful son

也不愿陪她的天才儿子玩一天的母亲

believe it because it's true

你要相信因为真有这种妈妈

I hadn't

我还没...

That lecture was a waste of time

听这场演讲真是浪费时间

I made more accurate diagrams

我还穿尿布的时候

of the expansion of the early universe on the nursery wall

用尿布里的物体在幼儿园墙上画的

with the contents of my diaper

早期宇宙膨胀图都比他的准

Are you getting sick

你是不是病了

No I'm just allergic to people

不是只是对那些

who get Nobel Prizes for no good reason

平白无故就得诺贝尔奖的人过敏

Sheldon is it possible that your foul mood

谢尔顿你心情不好

or to use the clinical term bitchiness

或者用临床术语说嘴贱

is because your mother isn't making you a priority

是因为你妈妈没有把你放在第一位

No Or to use the clinical term "nuh uh""

不是或者用临床术语说我呸

Are you sure The infant mother pair bond

你确定吗母婴配对关系

is the building block of primate psychology

是灵长类动物心理的基础

Oh there it is

又来了

It always comes back to monkeys with you

什么东西到你嘴里都绕回猴子身上

Just monkeys monkeys monkeys

除了猴子还是猴子

Sheldon we're all animals

谢尔顿人类也是动物

And granted there are aspects of you that are extraordinary

虽然你有一些过人之处

but when it comes to emotions and relationships

但说到情绪和人际关系

you're just like everybody else

你跟普通人没什么两样

Are you trying to suggest that my emotional problems

你是说我的情绪问题

are no different than those of a stupid person

跟那些白痴没什么两样吗

Actually some research indicates

实际上有些研究表明

that by not overthinking

不过分考虑的话

the less intelligent handle emotions better

智商较低的人情绪控制得更好

Sure you're not coming down with a cold

你确定你不是感冒了吗

Oh yes the common cold

是啊是啊就跟其他人一样

Just like everyone else

得那种普通的感冒呀

You'd love that wouldn't you

那样你就爽了对吧

Oh this one's sweet

这间挺漂亮的嘛

指天主教念玫瑰经时用一串念珠

You know for your rosary rattlers

对你们这种拿着念珠念经的人来说不错了

Mrs Cooper we say "Catholics" not "rosary rattlers"

库珀太太那些是天主教徒不是"拿着念珠念经的人"

My goodness it's a wonder you people in California

上帝啊加利福尼亚怎么这么多条条框框

can talk at all

还让不让人讲话了

This is like the worst Hollywood tour ever

这真是史上最烂的好莱坞之旅了

What are we gonna do She wanted to see churches

咱有什么办法谁叫她非要逛教堂呢

Hey they have wine here don't they

教堂里有酒的对吧

None of our gods have abs like that

我们印度的神可没有这么强壮的腹肌

Yep that's the last Jew who did sit ups

没错这是最后一个坚持做仰卧起坐的犹太人

And look where it got him

可你看看他的下场

Hey while we're here why don't we all do some praying

既然咱们都来了何不一块祷告呢

Let's put a little church in this church

给这个教堂也添点教堂的气氛嘛

Oh I'm not sure we should

我觉得我们不...

It's easy I'll show you how

很简单的我教你

Lord Mary Cooper here

主啊玛丽·库珀在此

蛾摩拉城是圣经中的罪恶之都

Coming to you from Gomorrah California

我从加利福尼亚州的蛾摩拉城前来膜拜

I want to thank you

我想感谢您

for the blessing that is my little Shelly

保佑我的小宝贝谢利

I also want to thank you for the continued strength

我还想感谢您一直赐予我宽容的力量

not to coldcock him with my Bible

我才没用圣经把他给拍晕

All right Penny your turn

好了佩妮到你了

Okay um

好吧

Hey God

好呀上帝

What's up