生活大爆炸-S02E12_生活大爆炸

S01

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All right that's the last servo

好了最后一个部件

Behold the Mobile Omnidirectional Neutralization and Termination Eradicator

人家看到的是全方位运动销毁终结切割器

Or MONTE

或者 Mont-E

Featuring one articulated razor sharp killing saw one polycarbonate grinding and flipping wheel

装有铰接式锋利锯齿聚碳酸脂磨刀和转动轮

steel armor plate exoskeleton top and bottom and enough horsepower to drive a 110 pounds of mechanized death

从上到下为钢制金属板外壳其马力足以将110磅的机械

from zero to holy crap in 4 8 seconds

彻底毁灭只需短短4.8秒

Is it wrong to say I love our killer robot

如果说我爱我们的机器人杀手是不是大罪过?

As with my father I both love and fear it

跟对我爸爸一样我既爱它又怕它

All right enough chitchat Let's destroy something

好了废话少说我们来搞点破坏

1 2 3

1,2,3

Okay What shall be first to taste the wrath of Monte

好了让谁先来尝尝猛械的厉害

Maybe we should start small

也许我们该从小的东西开始

Okay Oh perhaps today is the day we finally find out

好吧也许今天我们最终可以搞清楚这个魔法球里有什么了

Did it when I was four

我四岁时就做过了

It's an icosahedral dye floating in tinted blue water

是个二十面体染色物在蓝水里漂浮

Man call "spoiler alert" before you say things like that

老兄说之前给个"剧透"警告好吧

How about the toaster oven

烤面包机怎么样?

What did the toaster oven ever do to you

烤面包机咋得罪你了?

What did I ever do to Jimmy Mullins in the third grade

三年级时我又咋得罪吉姆·马林斯了?

He still punched me in the face with my own fists

他照样用我的拳头朝我的脸打了一拳

Sorry you little nerd you were just in the wrong boys' room at the wrong time

抱歉可爱的小呆子你在错误的时间出现错误的房间

Gentlemen goggles

同志们护眼镜

This is an auspicious moment

这可是个历史性的时刻

制造第一枚核武器和第一次登月

Like Robert Oppenheimer or Neil Armstrong

就像罗伯特·奥本海默和尼尔·阿姆斯壮

we need the appropriate words to mark this historic scientific event

我们得编句合适的台词来纪念这个有历史意义的科学事件

How about "Die toaster die"

"死吧烤面包机去死吧!"怎么样?

That'll do it

我看行

All right what's next

好啦接下来砍什么?

No I think I'm just going to stay in tonight and do laundry

不了我今晚要呆在家里洗衣服

Oh yeah this door got the full Monte

噢耶这门被猛械毁了

Leonard

莱纳德?

What the hell

怎么回事?

Killer robot We built it

机器人杀手我们造的

Yeah well it almost killed me

是吗它差点杀了我

If it wanted to kill you you'd be dead

它要是想杀你你早死了

So who exactly does it want to kill

那么它到底想杀谁?

I'm sorry are you unaware of the upcoming Southern California Robot Fighting League Round Robin Invitational

抱歉难道你不知道即将举行的南加州机器人格斗循环邀请赛?

You know since I moved last year not all my mail has been forwarded

知道吗从我去年搬来以后不是所有的邮件都被转寄掉

It's a big deal

这可是件大事

There's an awards banquet and a dance afterward

会有颁奖宴会还有舞会

Perhaps you'd like to come with me

也许你会想跟我一起去

I know the other fellas would be really excited to see a girl there

我相信其他人看见女生肯定会很兴奋

How is it supposed to be a dance if I'm the only girl

如果就我一个女生去怎么能叫舞会呢?

Well that may be a slight exaggeration

好吧也许这么说有点夸张

You'd be the only doable girl

你是唯一可以上的女孩

You're a pig Howard

你是头猪霍华德

How is "doable" anything but a compliment

"可以上"是在赞美你没别的意思

Howard why don't we just work on the robot

霍华德我们还是搞机器人吧

Please Leonard not now

拜托莱纳德现在不是时候

Once again Penny and I have begun our little tango

又一次佩妮和我开始了我们的双人探戈

Our tango

我们的探戈?

The carnal repartee the erotic to and fro

肉体的博弈性欲的推拉

But as delicious as the appetizer might be

尽管开胃菜很美味

at some point we will have to succumb and eat the entr e while it's still

我们还是该屈从吃下主菜趁它还是...

hot

热的

I'm begging you stop talking

求你了不要再说了

Look normally I can just ignore you

听着通常呢我无视你就好了

I mean I get it you're a little peculiar

我知道你有点古怪

You know like Sheldon

就像谢尔顿

Excuse me Penny but in this room you're the one who's peculiar

抱歉佩妮但是在这间屋里你才是古怪的那个

Yeah you might be right

嗯也许你说的对

But back to you

但是回到你身上

I know you think you're some sort of smooth talking ladies' man

我知道你认为自己是个能言善辩的少女杀手

but the truth is you are just pathetic and creepy

但事实是你很可悲又恶心

So what are you saying

那么啥意思呢?

I am saying it is not a compliment to call me "doable "

我的意思是说我是"可以上的" 根本就不是啥赞美

It's not sexy to stare at my ass and say Ooh

盯着我的屁股看并说 "喔~ 这肯定是果冻"

it must be jelly 'cause jam don't shake like that

"因为果酱不会这样晃动" 一点也不性感

And most important we are not dancing a tango we're not to'ing and fro'ing

还有最重要的我们没有在跳探戈我们没有你推我拉

Nothing is ever going to happen between us Ever

我们之间不会有什么永远不会

Wait a minute This isn't flirting You're serious

等一下这不是在调情你在说真的?

Flirting You think I'm flirting with you

调情? 你认为我在跟你调情?

I am not flirting with you

我根本没有在和你调情

No woman is ever gonna flirt with you

没有女人会和你调情

You're just gonna grow old and die alone

你只会慢慢变老孤独而终

Thanks for the heads up

谢谢你的提醒

Howard where you going

霍华德你去哪里?

I'm going home to live my creepy pathetic life

我回家继续过我的恶心的可悲的人生

Well someone had to say it

总得有人说吧

What

什么?

He said maybe we should enter you in the killer robot competition

他说也许我们该拿你参加机器人杀手大赛

Howard the phone is ringing

霍华德电话在响!

Here's a crazy idea Ma Answer it

我有个疯狂的主意老妈接电话如何!

Hello

你好?

All right hold on

好的稍等

It's your friend Leonard

是你朋友莱纳德!

He wants to know why you're not at school today

他想知道你为什么今天没去上学!

I don't go to school Ma I work at a university

我不是去上学老妈我在大学就职

That's a school Now pick up the phone

那就是学校! 快接电话!

I don't want to talk to anybody

我谁都不想理

Should I ask Leonard to bring over your homework

要我叫莱纳德把你的家庭作业带来吗?

I don't have homework

我没什么家庭作业的

I'm a grown man with a master's degree in engineering

我是个拥有工程学硕士的大爷们

Excuse me Mr Fancy Pants

抱歉了不起先生

Want me to get you a Popsicle

想吃冰棒吗?

Cherry please

樱桃味的好吧!

I ate the cherry All that's left is green

樱桃味的我吃了只剩蔬菜味的了

You make me want to kill myself

你让我真想自杀呀

What's going on

怎么了?

I don't know now they're just yelling about Popsicles

不知道他们正为冰棒问题吵呢

Sounds like Penny really got to him

好像佩妮真地伤到他了

I'm not surprised

我觉得不意外呀

Despite his hard and crusty shell Howard is a very sensitive man

尽管霍华德用坚强的外壳来保护自己其实他是个非常敏感的人

Do you know he writes poetry

知道他还写诗吗?

Mostly about men from Nantucket and hermits named Dave

大多是关于来自楠塔基特岛的人和叫戴维的隐居士

but he does it with real sensitivity

但他是用心去写的

Hey Hofstadter

嘿霍夫施塔特

Word around the pwasma wab is you built a wobot

等离止誓验室谣传你们在造机器银

Yes we did Kripke

对我们造了克里帕奇

His name is Monte

他名叫猛械

Well if you have any dewusions about entering him against my wobot

如果你着梦操控他来南加州机器银格斗循环邀请晒

the Kwipke Kwippler in the Southern California Robot Fighting League Wound Wobin Invitational

对抗我克里帕奇克里骇人的机器银

aka the S C R F L R R I

又简称S.c.r.f.l.r.r.i

his name is gonna be Swrap Metal

他就该改名叫金属废物银了

Come on is that really necessary

得了吧真的非要这样吗?

Leonard I believe it is

莱纳德看来需要的

This is trash talk and trash talk is a traditional component in all sporting events

这是上场前嘴上较劲是所有竞技的传统部分

Kripke your robot is inferior and it will be defeated by ours

克里帕奇你的机器人很差劲会败在我们的脚下

because ours exceeds yours in both design and execution

因为我们在设计与做工上都超越你

Also I'm given to understand that your mother is overweight

还有我听说你老妈是肥婆

Oh snap

哇够狠呀

Now of course if that is the result of a glandular condition and not sloth and gluttony

当然如果是腺分泌的关系而没有懒散和贪食

I withdraw that comment

我收回我的批判

What difference does it make Fat is fat

哪有什么区别?胖还是胖呀

There are boundaries

有分界线的

Tell you what forget the S C R F L R R I

听好了忘了S.c.r.f.l.r.r.i.

Wet's settle this woboto a woboto

偶棉来个机器银一对一吧

What do you mean

什么意思?

There's no guarantee we're gonna go against each other in the Wound Wobin

循环晒上我们不一定碰得上

so let's throw down

咱现在就对决吧

You know unless you're afwaid

要是怕怕就算鸟

We accept your challenge Name a time and place

我们接受你的挑战定个时间和地点吧

Tomorrow 3 00 the kinetics wab

明天 3:00 动力学实验室

Make it so

就这么说定了

No don't make it so Barry we can't fight you tomorrow

不别定下来贝瑞我们明天不能和你战斗

Our engineer is incapacitated

我们的工程师崩溃了

What's wrong with him

他怎么了?

He's depressed because he's pathetic and creepy and can't get girls

他可悲又古怪找不到女人所以他抑郁了

We're all pathetic and cweepy and can't get girls

我们都可悲又古怪找不到女人

That's why we fight wobots

所以我们才玩机器银格斗

If you're not there you'll be exposed to widicule

如果不出现就等着当笑柄吧

I'm curious what part of America is that accent from

我很好奇他这说的是啥方言啊?

Hey you got a minute

嘿有时间吗?

Yeah come on in What's up

有进来吧啥事呢?

I need you to apologize to How Get out

- 我需要你去给霍华德道... - 滚出去

Come on Wolowitz won't come out of his house and we need him for a robot battle

行行好吧沃尔伍兹不肯出来我们的机器人大战需要他呀

Well then have the robot go and get him

那让机器人找他去

The robot didn't hurt his feelings

机器人又没伤他自尊

His feelings needed to be hurt

他就是欠骂

He's been in bed for two days

他躺在床上两天了

Yeah probably with a blow up doll

那也好可能是和充气娃娃玩呢

He's not with a

他没有和...

Does it really matter who or what he's with

他和谁在一起玩真的重要吗?

The guy is devastated

那家伙崩溃了

Oh please how could I possibly devastate Howard

请问我怎么可能把霍华德弄崩溃?

Okay don't take this as a criticism

好吧我不是批评你

but you kind of have that overexposed to gamma rays thing going on

但你有时会发生暴露在致命的伽马射线之下那种状况

What does that mean

那啥意思?

You know like most of the time you're the easygoing Bruce Banner

比如大多数时候你是和气的你

but then when you get angry you kind of turn into like you know

但当你生气时就好像变成了...

I turn into a bear

成熊了?

Seriously Gamma rays Bruce Banner

不是吧? 伽马射线? 你?

You didn't get The Incredible Hulk from that

这都联想不到绿巨人?

Never mind Just please go talk to him

没关系只是请你去和他谈谈

And say what That I didn't mean it because I meant it

说啥呀? 说我并不是那个意思可我就是那个意思呀

Well maybe you can go at it from a different angle like um

也许你可以从另外一个角度来谈比如嗯

you see a glimmer of goodness in him and you only said what you said

你在他身上看到善良的闪光点你那天那么说只是

because you want to nurture it and make it shine

因为你想鼓舞它让它放大闪光

Okay let's try it this way

好吧试试这个方法呢

Remember the day that we first met

还记得我们邂逅那天

and you asked me to go to your boyfriend's apartment to get your TV back

你让我去你男朋友家里替你把电视要回来

and he was nine feet tall and he took my pants off and you said

他有九英尺高把我裤子都扒了然后你说...

What was that What did you say

什么来着? 你说什么来着?

Oh yes You said you owed me one

噢对了你说你欠我个人情

Okay come on that's not fair

嗷得了吧这不公平

I came home with no pants

我没穿裤子就回家了

Fine I'll go over there tomorrow

得我明天去一趟

Thank you

多谢

I should probably give you a heads up about his mother

我该提醒你要当心他妈妈

What about her

她怎么了?

She's a delightful woman You'll love her

她是个讨喜的人你会爱上她的

Howard there's a blonde girl Patsy here to see you

霍华德有个叫帕西的金发女郎来找你!

Who

谁?

Okay now she's saying it's Penny

噢这回她又说自己叫佩妮

I don't want to talk to her

我不想同她说话

妈!

She ran past me

她径自跑了过去

Was I supposed to tackle her

我应该把她扑倒?

So I just came by to see how you were doing

呃我只是过来看看你怎么样了

I'm fine

我没事

Good Your mom seems nice

很好你妈妈看上去不错

People move away from her on the bus

她坐公车的时候别人都离她远远的

What do you want

有何贵干?

Okay look Howard I just want to apologize

好听着霍华德我是来道歉的

For some things that I have said

为我说的一些话道歉

About you

关于你的话

I've been informed that you have feelings

有人告诉我说你也是有感情的

And apparently I have hurt them

而显而易见的是我伤害了它们

So I'm sorry

所以我很抱歉

Howard

霍华德

Fine You're sorry Good bye

好你很抱歉再见了

So you're okay

那么... 你还好吧?

Hey I'm a big boy

嘿我是个大男孩

I'm not traumatized by some random comment from some random woman

我不会因为某个女人的随意评论而受创伤的

I mean get over yourself

我是说你别臭美了

Okay Well bye

好那么再见了

So close

就差一点儿

Oh my God That's Kripke's robot

噢我的天呐那是克里帕奇的机器人?

As you can see the Kwippler is weducing the Chevy Cavawier to wubble

如你所见克里骇人正把这辆雪佛兰跑车史得粉碎

I can't watch anymore

我不能再看下去了

Sheldon we have to call it off

谢尔顿我们得叫停它

We don't have that option

没有这个选项

We've accepted the challenge

我们接受了挑战

We can't run away from a fight

我们不能临阵退缩

Oh please we've spent our whole lives running away from fights

噢得了吧我们不是一直都在临阵退缩么

Personally I can squeeze through a hole in a fence half my size

个人而言我都能从比我小一半的篱笆墙当中找个洞钻过去

Impressive as that may be Monte is not us

你说的可能没错但猛械可不是我们

Monte has no fear

猛械无所畏惧

Sheldon did we all not just watch the same video

谢尔顿难道我们看的不是同一个录像?

Kripke's robot just had angry sex with a mid sized automobile

克里帕奇的机器人刚刚虐完一辆中型汽车

You are overlooking the fact that we now know what we're up against

但你忽视了一个事实我们已经对敌人了如指掌

and we can modify Monte so that he's prepared

所以我们可以改装猛械让他做好迎战的准备

You want to prepare him

你想让他做好准备?

Install a bladder and a pair of shorts so he can wet himself

给他装个膀胱再穿条短裤他就可以吓得尿裤子了

Excuse me but how are we going to make any modifications without Wolowitz

抱歉不过没有沃尔伍兹我们怎么进行改装?

Have you heard from Penny yet Not yet

- 佩妮那有信了没? - 还没

Have faith gentlemen We don't need Wolowitz

打起自信来先生们我们不需要沃尔伍兹帮忙

Engineering is merely the slow younger brother of physics

工程学只是物理学发育迟缓的小弟罢了

Watch and learn

瞧好了学着点

Do either of you know how to open the toolbox

你们俩有谁知道怎么开工具箱么?

And then when I was 14 I met Marcy Grossman

之后在我十四岁的时候我遇见了马尔西·格罗斯曼

She was so beautiful

她是拉摸美丽

She just got her braces off but they left a little of the overbite

她刚摘掉牙套但还是有点龅牙

It was so hot

真是火辣

Like a sexy little chipmunk

就像只性感的小花栗鼠

I didn't have the courage to ask her out

我没有勇气约她出来

but I dedicated a song to her at the ninth grade talent show

但我在初三的才艺表演上给她献了一首歌

Aw that sounds sweet

喔真贴心

Marcy Grossman is sunshine

马尔西·格罗斯曼就是阴天的

On a cloudy day

一缕阳光

When it's cold outside

在天寒地冻时

Marcy Grossman is the month of May

马尔西·格罗斯曼就是那热情的五月

Oh it's cute

噢真是可爱

I guess you'd say

我猜你会说

What can make me feel this way

什么才能让我有这种感觉

Marcy Grossman Marcy Grossman Marcy Grossman

马尔西·格罗斯曼,马尔西·格罗斯曼,马尔西·格罗斯曼

Talkin' 'bout Marcy That's great

- 谈论着马尔西 - 真棒

Grossman

格罗斯曼

Oh it's fun

噢真有意思

And then she came up with that sexy little chipmunk mouth

然后她撅着那张性感的花栗鼠小嘴

and spit in my hair

朝我头发上淬了口唾沫

Which brings us to tenth grade

之后就是高一的事了

Howard do you think maybe sometimes you try too hard

霍华德你觉不觉得有时自己太心急太过火了?

Look at me

看看我嘛

What chance do I have if I don't try too hard

太心急太过火我怎么可能会有机会?

Well you'd have a terrific chance

这... 你的机会大大的有

I mean you're smart you're funny You have a cool job

你聪明风趣又有份好工作

You build stuff that goes into outer space

你做那个飞到外太空的东西

I guess

也是啊

Look I'm telling you I've known you for like a year and a half

跟你说哦我认识你也有一年半了

and this is the first time I feel like I'm talking to a real person

这次我才觉得我是在跟你真人讲话

And you know what I like him He's a nice guy

而且你知道不我喜欢他他人不错

You really think so

你真的这么想的?

Yes

是啊

I don't know

这我还真的不知道

I do

我知道

Nice little bot you've got here

你这小机器人不错嘛

I'm aware

这我知道

What's this do spin Yep At 3400 RPM

- 这是干嘛用的? 转齿? - 对 3400转每分钟

It can cut through steel like it was wubber

它切钢就像切橡皮一样

Neat

Good work

做得不错

Sheldon we've got to call this off

谢尔顿我们要赶快取消

No Leonard

不要莱纳德

For years merciless thugs like Kripke have made my life a series of painful noogies

多少年了像克里帕奇一样的无良恶霸让我的生活悲惨不堪

抓住手臂来回扭以产生剧痛

and humiliating wedgies and the insensitively named Indian burns

既被痛打又受尽凌辱还有印第安刑

That stops now

这些就此打住!

But Sheldon we don't have a chance

可是谢尔顿我们没可能的

The only improvement you were able to make on the robot was to put fresh batteries in the remote

你现在能给这机器人改进的就是给它遥控器换块新电池

What you fail to realize is Kripke suffers from a fatal flaw

你没发觉的是克里帕奇有一个致命伤

overconfidence from his robot's massive size and its overwhelming power

他对机器人大体积超能量的过度自信

That's not overconfidence That's observation

那不是过度自信那叫观察

Trust me Kripke will fall easy prey to my psychological warfare Observe

信我克里帕奇很快就会倒在我的心理战上的观察吧

Kripke

克里帕奇

I would ask if your robot is prepared to meet its maker but as you are its maker

我想问下你的机器人准备好见它制作人没不过既然你是他的制作人了

clearly the two of you have met

很明显你们是见过面了

What is his pwoblem

他脑子怎么鸟?

Way to bust out the Jedi mind tricks dude

学绝地武士心理战还差得远伙计

I just want to make sure that we're all clear

我只是想确认下我们说好了

Standard robotic fighting league rules apply

按照标准机器人格斗联盟规则

Are you cwazy This is a stweet fight

你是疯了不成? 这是个街战

The stweet has no rules

街战哪有什么规则的?

He's right Leonard The paradigm is to the death

他说得对莱纳德一直到死为直

I will however give you the opportunity to concede my superiority now

不过我现在给你们个机会承认我是比你们优越

and offer me your robot as the spoils of war

然后把你的机器人给我当战利品

Never

永远都没可能!

I'd rather see Monte dead than in your hands

我宁愿猛械死都不要落到你手里

That could be easily arranged

那真是小菜一碟

Ready set go

各就各位准备开始?

Do it

来吧

All right then Weady Set Go

那好吧预备开始

Come on Sheldon you got this

来吧谢尔顿你可以的

Indeed We are prepared for anything he can throw at us

当然我们做好了万全准备他怎么对我们都不怕

That's new

这招是新的

Run Monte run Go Monte

- 逃啊猛械! 逃! - 闪啊 Mont!

Monte Go go go go

- 猛械! - 跑! 跑! 跑! 跑!

Don't hurt us don't hurt us don't hurt us

别伤害我们! 别伤害我们! 别伤害我们!

Well so much for making up for the emotional wounds of childhood

好了弥补儿时心灵创伤就到此为止了

I did this

是我干的

Monte was killed by my hubris and my pride

猛械被杀都是因为我的傲慢跟自大

No matter what anybody says this is my fault

不管别人怎么说这都是我的错

No one's arguing with you dude

又没人在跟你争

I got your text How bad is Oy

我收到你短信了它有多烂... 噢

Forget the robot What happened to you

先别管那机器人了你是怎么了?

He slipped and fell

他不小心滑倒了

Yes I slipped and fell In the bathroom

是我不小心滑倒了还是在浴室里

Bounced right off the tub

被浴缸弹起来了

Yes now he knows what bathtubs are capable of doing when you don't treat them with respect

对现在他知道了如果他不尊重浴缸的话浴缸会给他好看的

Yeah

那是

They sucker punch you when your eyes are closed

趁你闭眼时就给你一拳

So what do you think Howard

你觉得怎样霍华德?

It's not that bad right

也不算很烂对吧?

Oh no A little electrical tape some solder Are you insane

噢不算用点电线包布一些焊剂... 你是疯了还是怎样?!

I've seen space probes that crashed into the desert that were in better shape than this

太空探测器坠毁在沙漠都比这死相好看

You're right Monte's gone

你说得对猛械走了

We'll bury him in the morning A simple ceremony I'll speak

我们明早去埋了它做个简单的仪式我来主持

Leonard you'll play your cello

莱纳德你要拉你的大提琴

Sheldon honey aren't you getting a little carried away

谢尔顿亲爱的你是不是有点走火入魔了?

I mean it's just a toy robot

我是说这不就是个机器人嘛

Just a toy robot

不就是个机器人嘛?

Penny

佩妮

I know I got it

我知道了这就去

Sheldon I'm sorry

谢尔顿对不起

Well don't get the wrong idea

别以为我吃亏了

The way I see it I'm halfway to pity sex

在我看来她很快就会因为同情然后跟我做爱了