There was water everywhere.
到处都是水
It was such a mess.
场面可惨了
That stinks. How long are you out of the apartment
太倒霉了 那你得暂离你公寓多久
About five weeks.
大约五周吧
Ugh Did you lose anything valuable
你有损失什么值钱财物吗
Well the pipe was over my closet
那个管道是在我衣柜上方
so all my clothes are gone.
所以我所有衣物全泡汤了
Oh so nothing. Great.
那就是没损失 不错
Do they know why the pipe burst
他们知道管道为何爆裂吗
They didn't say.
他们没说
Buildings that have a combination
那些使用了
of copper and galvanized steel
铜管与镀锌钢管的建筑
are susceptible to pinholes and corrosion
易受水中离子的电迁移率
caused by the mobility of ions in the water.
而导致破洞跟腐蚀
Can't have your head shoved in a toilet as much as I did
像我这样头常被恶霸塞进马桶里的人
and not pick up a few things about plumbing.
难免会学到一点管道方面的知识
Well if you need a place to crash you can stay with us.
如果你需要地方暂住 你可以来跟我们住啊
Really Of course.
-真的吗 -当然啦
You can stay in Leonard's room and we'll stay at my place.
你可以睡莱纳德的房间 我跟他住我家
You're sure that's not an inconvenience
你确定不会造成你们不便吗
No not at all.
不会 完全不会
And we live with Sheldon
而且我们跟谢尔顿住
so the word "inconvenience" has really lost all meaning.
"不便"这个词与我们早已是路人
So technically I'd be moving in with my boyfriend
所以严格上来说 我要跟我男朋友同居了吗
I guess so.
算吧
I'd finally get to live alone with my husband.
而我也终于可以单独跟我丈夫同住了
Oh my this is a big step.
天啊 关系迈进了一大步啊
For two of us it's in the right direction.
对于咱俩来说 是朝着正确方向迈进
Why are you all smiling like crazy people
你们为啥都笑得跟傻子一样
Our whole universe Nwas in a hot dense state
Then nearly 14 billion years Nago expansion started... Wait
The Earth began to cool
The autotrophs began to drool NNeanderthals developed tools
We built the Wall N We built the pyramids
Math Science History Nunraveling the mystery
That all started Nwith a big bang
Bang
By aBU 2016
第十季 第四集
Cohabitation with my girlfriend
与我女友住同一屋檐下吗
That's a great deal to process.
这可是件大事啊
It's only for five weeks.
只是同住五周而已
Yeah and we'll be right across the hall.
而且我们俩就在对门而已
What do you think
你觉得呢
I don't know.
我也不知道
What if living together kills the romance
万一同住之后浪漫的火花就没了呢
Okay you guys had sex one whole time.
你们俩滚过足足一次床单呢
Nothing can put out a fire like that.
没有任何事能灭了那"大火"
Yeah but what happens when we each get a peek behind the curtain
但当我们互相看到了私底下最私密的一面呢
I mean she's never even seen me unshaven.
她还没见过我没刮胡子的样子呢
You just shaved yesterday.
你昨天刚刮过了
You're good for three months.
你接下来三个月都没有这问题
Sheldon I understand your apprehension
谢尔顿 我能理解你的考量
but let me appeal to the scientist in you.
但请让我用科学家角度说服你
Given the five week end date
同住的时间是五周
isn't it the perfect opportunity to consider this an experiment
这长度正好适合我们来实验彼此契合度
and collect data on our compatibility
并搜集数据不是吗
Don't try luring me in with sexy talk.
少用这种撩人的话来套路我
Okay.
这么说吧
Star Trek The Original Series.
电视剧《星际旅行:初代》
The Enterprise was on a five year mission to explore new worlds.
进取号开始了一个五年期探索新世界的任务
Think of this as your
把这件事
personal five week mission to do the same.
也想成是你个人的五周期任务嘛
If you want to lure me in with sexy talk that's how you do it.
你想用撩人的话来套路我 就得像他这样
Don't be proud of that.
你有毛好骄傲啊
So is that a yes
所以你同意了吗
Not yet. I...
还没呢 我...
How will I learn if I'm comfortable living with Amy
我如何能确定我是跟艾米相住愉快
or just comfortable because I'm in my own apartment
还是因为只是在自己家里待得舒服呢
Now if this experiment is going to be valid
如果要让这个实验有效
I suggest a neutral environment.
我建议我跟她得住在中立环境
Well where would you go
那你们要住哪去
Well ideally an enclosed
理想来说 在新墨西哥州的
self sustaining biodome in New Mexico.
一个封闭式 能自给自足的生态馆里
Where we would eat crops fertilized with our own waste.
在那里我们吃用我们排泄物施肥的农作物
And you were worried about the romance.
同住怕不浪漫 吃屎就浪漫了吗
Wait. Why don't you guys stay across the hall
等等 那你们怎么不直接住去我家
and we will live here
然后我跟莱纳德住这里
Interesting.
有意思
If my official residence were across the hall
如果我把寝宫移到了对门
I wonder if I'd need to knock every time I came over here.
那我回来这里需不需要敲门呢
That's a good question.
这是个好问题
Maybe just don't come over.
要不你就干脆别回来了
Historically I don't do well with change.
从过去经验来看 我很不适应改变
Okay it won't be that bad.
也不会有那么糟啦
We wouldn't even sit in your spot while you're gone.
你不在的时候 我们也不会去坐你的专座
You're darn right you wouldn't.
大胆刁民 你当然不敢
No matter where I am this will always be my spot.
无论我在哪里 这里永远都是我的专座
Like an embassy in a foreign country
就像是那些外国大使馆
this seat is the sovereign soil of my bottom.
这座位永远是我屁股不可分割的一部分
Just nod and smile. He's almost gone.
就点头陪笑就对了 他就要走了
Sheldon what do you think
谢尔顿 你觉得呢
Very well. I'm on board.
好吧 我同意
Seriously Yes.
-真的吗 -真的
I accept this five week mission
我接受这个五周的任务
to share a living space with my girlfriend.
跟我的女朋友分享同一居住空间
Oh. This is so exciting.
好兴奋啊
Well now don't be surprised if like Star Trek
但跟《原初系列》一样
it's canceled in three.
三季就砍的话 也别太惊讶
I have to say I am happy with your OBGYN.
不得不说 我对你的妇产科医生挺满意
Cool. 'Cause she says you're doing a great job as
那就好 因为那医生也很满意
"Weird friend who doesn't have to be at every appointment."
你这位"明明不用每次都跟来的怪朋友"
I'm the son of a gynecologist. I could be helpful.
我父亲是一名妇科医生 我能帮得上忙嘛
It would help if you stopped telling me
你想帮忙的话就不要跟我说
I have a textbook cervix.
我的子宫颈长得很标准了
The polite response is "Thank you for noticing."
有礼貌的回答应该是"谢谢你注意到"
Let me see the sonogram again.
再让我看一次B超图
Oh yeah that's a good looking baby for a little gray blob.
这个小灰团看起来就是一个漂亮宝宝
Yeah we could name him Blobert.
我们可以给他取名团仔
What if it's a girl
如果是女孩怎么办
Bloberta.
灰灰
Or Blobbi with an "I."
或者是灰妞
Are we being silly not finding out the sex
我们不问性别是不是太傻了
Yeah I was just thinking the same thing.
我也正在想这事呢
If you want you can find out right now.
如果你们愿意 你们现在就能知道
The doctor's gone for the day so it doesn't matter.
医生今天已经下班了 算了
Well somebody else knows because they saw it in the folder.
有人可是在档案里看到了哦
You looked in our folder
你偷看了我们的档案吗
It was an accident.
我不小心看到的
The doctor left the folder out on her desk.
医生就这样随随便便把档案放在她桌子上
It's not my fault I opened it and looked.
于是我就看了 怪我咯
So you know the sex of our baby and we don't
所以你知道孩子的性别 我们却一无所知
Flip a coin. You got a fifty fifty shot.
你们可以投硬币 猜对的机会高达5成
It's unbelievable. God Raj.
-真不敢相信 -你妹的 拉杰
What This is not a problem okay
咋了 这又不是什么问题
If you don't want to know I don't have to tell you.
你们如果不想知道 我不告诉你们就好啦
We don't want you to know
我们不想让你知道
Okay well that's a problem.
好吧 这就的确是个问题
You know I'm very proud of you for trying to live with Amy.
你愿意尝试和艾米同居 我可为你自豪了
Oh. Thank you.
谢谢
Of course the ideal way to conduct this experiment
其实最理想方式是
would be with four pairs of identical Sheldons and Amys.
使用四组完全一样的谢尔顿和艾米来做实验
One pair that was neither dating nor living together.
第一组不是恋爱关系 也不同居
One pair that was dating but not living together.
第二组是恋爱关系 但不同居
One pair that was living together but not dating.
第三组同居 但不是恋爱关系
And then of course one pair
最后 第四组
that was living together and dating.
既是恋爱关系又同居在一起
Although with that many Sheldons
不过 如果真有这么多的谢尔顿
it'd be such a party we'd never get anything done.
大家早就玩得忘乎所以 忘掉实验的事了
That was a cute story.
真是个萌萌的小故事啊
So um...
那个...
What did you want to ask me
你之前想问我什么来着
Well you've lived with your significant other for some time.
你有过和恋人同居的经验
I would like this experiment to go well.
我希望这次实验可以顺利进行
Are there any insights you can share
你有什么好建议吗
Well the biggie is if she has an insane roommate
最重要的一点 如果她的室友是个疯子
kick him out as soon as possible.
不要犹豫 立刻把那室友扫地出门
You know Leonard and I were very happy before you came along.
在你出现之前 莱纳德和我可幸福美满了
You've been roommates with Sheldon forever.
你和谢尔顿做了这么久的室友
Do you have any advice
有什么经验之谈吗
I'm trying to think of an answer
我正努力寻找一个
that won't stop you from doing this.
不会让你不敢搬进来的答案
I know it sounds like a cliche
虽然这是老生常谈了
but compromise is key.
但退一步真的会海阔天空
Never leave a belt on the floor.
不要把皮带留在地板上
At night they look like snakes.
在晚上看起来特别像蛇
Do little things like bring her a cup of coffee in bed.
从小事做起 早上把咖啡送到她床上去
Keep M&M'S in your pocket
口袋里时刻备有巧克力豆
in case you have to wait in a long line.
以防你们俩遇到排长队的时候
You're gonna be seeing each other a lot
你们每天都要见好多次面
so respect each other's personal space.
所以要尊重各自的私人空间
He startles easily so please no flash photography.
他特别容易受惊吓 照相千万别开闪光灯
How many pairs of underwear did you pack for the move
你这次带了几条内裤
I don't know. I didn't count.
我不知道 我没数
You truly are the Goofus to my Gallant.
真是白面秀才遇上了邋遢兵
That's me. Listen
对 兵是我 听我说
you and I are gonna be sharing a bed.
你和我要睡在一张床上了
You know this is uncharted territory for both of us.
这件事对于我俩都是头一次
How are you feeling about that
你对此有何感想
Oh excited concerned
非常兴奋 有些疑虑
a little scared.
还有点害怕
All the same emotions I feel in line at Space Mountain.
就跟我在迪斯尼太空山排队时的心情一模一样
Well if you're nervous about the sleeping arrangements
如果你是为睡觉的问题而困扰的话
maybe we should talk about it.
也许我们应该好好谈一谈
Okay.
好呀
Talk.
谈吧
Well I imagine one of your concerns
我猜你的疑虑之一
might be coital expectations.
应该是担心会需要做爱吧
Wow no foreplay or anything just right to it.
也不来点前戏 直捣黄龙啊
Look I know this experiment
我明白这次实验对你来说是
is a big step outside of your comfort zone.
迈出舒适圈的一大步
So why don't we take being physical off the table
所以我们不如先暂缓发生性关系
and maybe later on
留到后面
once we're more settled in we can revisit it.
等彼此适应下来 再提这个话题
You're really okay with that
你对此真的没意见吗
I've never lived with someone either.
我也从来没和别人同居过
This is a lot for me too.
这对我来说也是大挑战
This is such a relief.
听你这么说我心里就轻松了
Honestly if it didn't get you all worked up
说真的 要不是怕你会欲火焚身
I'd kiss you right now.
我都想吻你来谢你
Good call.
好决定
Seeing your Teen Titans underwear
在看到你的《少年泰坦》卡通内裤后
really got my motor running.
我的确是"性致高昂"
I know. They probably shouldn't sell those to children.
我懂你 这种产品就不该卖给孩子
Well here's your key.
钥匙给你
Thank you.
谢谢
Enjoy having the place to yourselves.
好好享受公寓里二人世界吧
You enjoy your mission to boldly go
你们也好好享受
where no man has gone before.
这段从未有人涉足过的伟大任务吧
It's Penny's bedroom.
那是佩妮的卧室
Plenty of men have gone before.
涉足其中的男人数不胜数
Now now there's no need to make this emotional.
好了好了 不要搞得这么情绪化
Shall we
我们走吧
I guess this is it.
看来要就此别过了
You guys have fun.
祝你们住得高兴
You too.
你也是
Oh don't forget.
别忘了
Tuesday the air filters need to be changed.
周二得换空气净化器滤网
Yeah you wrote it on my hand.
记得 你已经写我手上了
Oh and every other day
还有每隔一天
check the water level on the avocado pit.
检查牛油果盆栽的水位
I'm on it.
我来负责
15 years from now we'll make guacamole together.
十五年后 我们可以一起做牛油果酱
Leonard please let me go.
莱纳德 别撩我让我走
Come on Sheldon.
走了 谢尔顿
Oh. Bye.
再见
Good night. Good night.
-晚安 -晚安
Well that's it.
就这样
For the next five weeks we are officially living together.
接下来的五个星期里 我们要正式同居
I guess the experiment begins.
实验就此开始
We did it Yeah
-我们成功了 -好棒
Which side of the bed would you prefer
你比较想睡在床的哪一侧
Doesn't matter to me. Your choice.
我无所谓 你选吧
No no we're living together now everything's equal.
不行不行 我们现在同居了 一切平等
You know I know that I have a tendency to be controlling
其实我知道我的控制欲稍强一点
so I would rather you choose.
所以我希望由你来选择
Well Sheldon I really appreciate that
谢尔顿 你的好意我心领了
but these things mean more to you than they do to me
但这些事对你来说更为重要
so whatever you want.
所以你想怎样都行
Well clearly it's not whatever I want
这明显就不是我想怎样都行
because what I want is for you to make this decision
因为我想要你来做选择
and you refuse to do that.
而你拒绝了
Well I'm not refusing.
我不是拒绝
I'm just trying to be considerate.
只是想考虑周全而已
Like when you let me get those shoes
就像你叫我买那双
with the wheels on the bottom
鞋底带着轮子的鞋
and then watched me roll right into traffic
然后眼睁睁看着我滚入车流之中吗
Sheldon will you please just pick a side Fine.
-谢尔顿 你就赶紧选行不行 -好吧
Okay. Now on this side
好的 在这一侧
I am closer to the exit in case of emergency.
一旦发生意外 我离出口更近
Great. That's your side.
很好 你就睡这侧
No but I'm also closer to the entrance in case of attack.
可一旦有人进屋袭击 我离他也更近
Okay I'll take that side.
行 那我就睡那侧
Ah then again what are the odds of someone attacking me
可话说回来 有人来袭击的几率又能有多大
Rising rapidly.
急速增长中
Now this side offers me proximity to the bathroom
而在这一侧 方便我去卫生间
but I am closer to the window
但也离窗户较近
where perverts can watch me sleep.
怪叔叔可以偷看我睡觉觉
Okay.
好的
What if we do this
那这样有没有好点
I suppose that works.
这样也行
Great.
很好
Although now I'm kind of worried someone's hiding behind those drapes.
不过我现在开始担心有人藏在窗帘后面了
This is ridiculous.
这太荒谬了
The doctor knows what the baby is
医生知道孩子的性别
the ultrasound tech knows Raj knows
超声波的技术人员知道 拉杰知道
his Grey's Anatomy online fan group probably knows.
他在的《实习医生格蕾》线上粉丝群友可能也知道
Is it weird we don't
我们不知道会不会很奇怪
I don't know.
不知道
Maybe the surprise will make it more fun.
也许最后的惊喜会让它更有意思
Like magic tricks.
就像魔术一样
Remember how disappointed you were
还记得我跟你揭秘了无穷尽手帕魔术时
when I explained the never ending hanky
你当时有多失望吗
I was disappointed to see the man I was engaged to
我失望的是看到我要嫁的男人
pulling rainbow scarves out of his fly.
从他的裤门里拽出一长条彩虹丝巾
But how delightful was it when I pulled out
可你当时明明很高兴看到
a bouquet at the end of those scarves
丝巾最尾端连着的那束花啊
It'll be the same thing
所以等医生
when the doctor pulls a beautiful surprise out of you.
从你身体里拽出来个惊喜时 也是一样的
Everyone said I could do better.
所有人都说我插牛粪上了
But you didn't listen and presto change o
可你没听劝 转眼间
my baby's inside you. Ta da
你怀上了小牛粪
Ugh. What is that
那是什么玩意儿
Why'd you switch sides
你为什么换边了
Be grateful I'm still in the room.
本皇没落跑 你就跪谢吧
Comfy
舒服吗
Oh I'm just happy I don't know
我很开心我不知道
what this memory foam remembers.
这些记忆海绵记忆过哪些"姿势"
Sheldon
谢尔顿
I know we took coitus off the table
我知道我们说好了不交媾
but I was wondering how you feel about other forms of intimacy
但我想知道你怎么看待其他形式的亲密
such as snuggling.
比如依偎睡觉
Well it's funny you should ask
这个问题问得好
because I was wondering how you'd feel
因为我刚才还在琢磨
about separating the two of us with a pillow wall.
你怎么看待用枕头墙把咱俩隔开这个主意
Sheldon I've made more than enough accommodations for you.
谢尔顿 我为你已经做出很多改变了
We're both grown adults
我们都是大人了
we've been far more intimate than this.
曾经也有过比这更亲密的举动
If you don't want to snuggle fine
如果你不想依偎着睡 没问题
but we're not building a pillow wall.
但我不会搭一堵枕头墙的
Okay well I am sorry.
好啦 我道歉
I'm just worried that my sensitivity to temperature
我只是担心我对温度的敏感
could make this a rough night.
会让今夜很难熬
And no offense but your bottom radiates enough heat
没有恶意 可你屁股辐射出的热度
I'm surprised there aren't iguanas lying on it.
不禁让我纳闷怎么美洲鬣蜥还没来取暖
That's it. It's Sheldon's bedtime.
到点了 谢尔顿睡觉时间到
He is in for the night.
他今晚在那睡定了
Wow. I cannot believe we are alone in our own apartment.
不敢相信 我们的公寓里就剩我们俩了
It's weird.
感觉很奇怪
This must be how parents feel
孩子们离家去上大学后
when their kid goes off to college.
家长肯定就是这种感觉
Unless they feel sad then it's different.
但如果家长觉得难过那就另当别论了
So what do you want to do
你想做什么
I know exactly what we are gonna do.
我太清楚我们要做什么了
Really You're a genius
不是吧 你是天才
and that's the first thing you come up with
想到的第一件事就是这个吗
Hey Sheldon's not here
谢尔顿不在
so we are going to put on music
所以我们要来点音乐嗨起来
and dance in our underwear.
穿着内裤舞起来
Ugh. Can we just have sex
好恶 直接做爱行吗
Oh don't worry.
别担心
Once you see my sweet moves sex is inevitable.
你见识我的曼妙舞姿后 一定会想扑倒我
Inevitable you say
你说"一定会扑倒"是吗
I'll just let my hips do the talkin'.
我让我的屁屁来回答你好了
Screw it. I'm calling and finding out.
不管了 我要打电话问清楚
Good. Call him.
好 打给他
Wait I'm not sure I want to know.
慢着 我不确定我想知道
But you just said you wanted to know.
但你刚说了你想知道
Well now I don't know if I want to know
现在我不知道我是否想知道
Hello
Call you back.
再打给你
No Dr. Feynman.
不 费曼博士
If I solve it for you you'll never learn.
如果我帮你解决了 你怎么能学习呢
Wow Where did you learn these moves
你在哪里学会的这些舞步啊
The world may have forgotten about Dance Dance Revolution
这个世界也许已经遗忘了跳舞机
but not this smooth criminal.
但这个"犯罪高手"可没忘
MV里有他的招牌45度前倾动作
迈克尔·杰克逊名曲
Okay you're positive you want to know
好了 你确定你想知道吗
Yes. Okay. Here we go.
-确定 -好的 我打了
It's ringing.
响了
Hello
Wait. Wrong number.
-慢着 -打错了
I told you not to do the worm.
我跟你说了不要跳虫爬式[霹雳舞经典动作]
You were right.
你是对的
Hello.
I changed my mind Hang up Hang up
老娘改主意了 挂掉 挂掉
What are you doing down there Hang on.
-你在地上做什么 -稍等
Who are you calling
你在打电话给谁
I'm so sore.
我浑身酸痛
I don't think I slept two minutes last night.
我想我昨晚没睡超过两分钟
Yeah get it girl.
爽啊 姐妹
It's not what you think.
不是你想的那样
I feel like I pulled something.
我觉得我拉伤了
Why didn't you tell me to stop
你为什么不叫我停下呢
Even more not what you think.
更加不是你想的那样
I don't know if I can make it through five weeks living with him.
我不知道能否熬过和他一起住五周时间
If you ever need a break the owner of the train store
如果你需要甩开他一阵 火车模型店的老板
will let you leave him there while you get a coffee. Yeah.
-会同意帮你照看他一下 让你去喝杯咖啡 -对
Good morning.
早上好
See I didn't knock but it's fine.
看 我没敲门 不过没关系
I didn't knock but it's fine. I didn't knock but it's fine.
我没敲门不过没关系 我没敲门不过没关系
So how is everyone
大家还好吗
Miserable and exhausted.
苦不堪言 精疲力尽
Really I slept great.
是吗 我睡得可香了
Well I didn't and it's your fault.
我没睡好 都怪你
How You had the whole floor to yourself.
这话怎么说 整个地板不都归你了吗
Sheldon maybe living together is a bad idea.
谢尔顿 也许同居不是个好主意
Well... Yeah but what kind of scientists would we be
仅仅凭12小时的数据就得出结论
drawing a conclusion after only 12 hours of data
我们算是哪门子的科学家
The kind who almost put a pillow over your face last night.
昨晚差点用枕头闷死你的那种
I anticipated we'd have problems
我就知道我们间会出现问题
but I never thought your scientific rigor would be one of them.
但我真没想到你的科学严谨性会是其中之一
I'm sorry are you questioning my integrity as a scientist
打断下 你是在质疑我作为科学家的诚信吗
If the lab room disposable shoe cover fits.
实验室的一次性鞋套合脚吗
Was that a science diss
这算是科学版撕逼吗
Yeah. Was it a good one
-对 -这句撕得狠吗
What would a theoretical physicist
一个理论物理学家
understand about an experiment anyway
懂个屁的实验啊
I mean you wouldn't know a confounding variable
就算混杂和变量同时扇你耳光
if two of them hit you in the face at the same time
你都不会感觉到混杂变量
And you don't even get that joke
而且你根本听不懂笑点在哪里
'cause you don't even work with confounding variables
因为你根本没和混杂变量打过交道
How dare you
你胆子够大的
Oh you heard me.
我说了又怎么样
Your experimental bona fides are laughable.
你的实验诚信度就是个笑话
Whoa whoa Now you're making fun of my bona fides
你居然敢取笑我的诚信度
Can't make fun of something that's a null set.
是空集的东西要如何取笑
I feel like I should say "Damn." Do it.
-我感觉这句适合喊个"厉害" -喊吧
Damn
厉害
Well if you are so protective of the scientific method
如果你对科学方法的保护欲这么强
perhaps we should use the next five weeks
也许我们应该用接下来五周时间
to finish what we started.
做完我们已经开始做的事
Well for science maybe I will
为了科学 也许我愿意
For science maybe you should
为了科学 也许你应该这样做
Fine Fine
-行 -行
Good. Great.
-很好 -好极了
Do you want to go to our place and make out
你想回我们公寓亲热吗
Does Stephen Hawking roll through the quad
史蒂芬·霍金是坐电动轮椅溜达的吗
The new neighbors are weird.
新邻居真是怪人
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