生活大爆炸-S10E04_生活大爆炸

S01

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There was water everywhere

到处都是水

It was such a mess

场面可惨了

That stinks How long are you out of the apartment

太倒霉了那你得暂离你公寓多久

About five weeks

大约五周吧

Ugh Did you lose anything valuable

你有损失什么值钱财物吗

Well the pipe was over my closet

那个管道是在我衣柜上方

so all my clothes are gone

所以我所有衣物全泡汤了

Oh so nothing Great

那就是没损失不错

Do they know why the pipe burst

他们知道管道为何爆裂吗

They didn't say

他们没说

Buildings that have a combination

那些使用了

of copper and galvanized steel

铜管与镀锌钢管的建筑

are susceptible to pinholes and corrosion

易受水中离子的电迁移率

caused by the mobility of ions in the water

而导致破洞跟腐蚀

Can't have your head shoved in a toilet as much as I did

像我这样头常被恶霸塞进马桶里的人

and not pick up a few things about plumbing

难免会学到一点管道方面的知识

Well if you need a place to crash you can stay with us

如果你需要地方暂住你可以来跟我们住啊

Really Of course

-真的吗 -当然啦

You can stay in Leonard's room and we'll stay at my place

你可以睡莱纳德的房间我跟他住我家

You're sure that's not an inconvenience

你确定不会造成你们不便吗

No not at all

不会完全不会

And we live with Sheldon

而且我们跟谢尔顿住

so the word "inconvenience" has really lost all meaning

"不便"这个词与我们早已是路人

So technically I'd be moving in with my boyfriend

所以严格上来说我要跟我男朋友同居了吗

I guess so

算吧

I'd finally get to live alone with my husband

而我也终于可以单独跟我丈夫同住了

Oh my this is a big step

天啊关系迈进了一大步啊

For two of us it's in the right direction

对于咱俩来说是朝着正确方向迈进

Why are you all smiling like crazy people

你们为啥都笑得跟傻子一样

Our whole universe Nwas in a hot dense state

Then nearly 14 billion years Nago expansion started Wait

The Earth began to cool

The autotrophs began to drool NNeanderthals developed tools

We built the Wall N We built the pyramids

Math Science History Nunraveling the mystery

That all started Nwith a big bang

Bang

By aBU 2016

生

活

大

爆

炸

第十季第四集

Cohabitation with my girlfriend

与我女友住同一屋檐下吗

That's a great deal to process

这可是件大事啊

It's only for five weeks

只是同住五周而已

Yeah and we'll be right across the hall

而且我们俩就在对门而已

What do you think

你觉得呢

I don't know

我也不知道

What if living together kills the romance

万一同住之后浪漫的火花就没了呢

Okay you guys had sex one whole time

你们俩滚过足足一次床单呢

Nothing can put out a fire like that

没有任何事能灭了那"大火"

Yeah but what happens when we each get a peek behind the curtain

但当我们互相看到了私底下最私密的一面呢

I mean she's never even seen me unshaven

她还没见过我没刮胡子的样子呢

You just shaved yesterday

你昨天刚刮过了

You're good for three months

你接下来三个月都没有这问题

Sheldon I understand your apprehension

谢尔顿我能理解你的考量

but let me appeal to the scientist in you

但请让我用科学家角度说服你

Given the five week end date

同住的时间是五周

isn't it the perfect opportunity to consider this an experiment

这长度正好适合我们来实验彼此契合度

and collect data on our compatibility

并搜集数据不是吗

Don't try luring me in with sexy talk

少用这种撩人的话来套路我

Okay

这么说吧

Star Trek The Original Series

电视剧《星际旅行:初代》

The Enterprise was on a five year mission to explore new worlds

进取号开始了一个五年期探索新世界的任务

Think of this as your

把这件事

personal five week mission to do the same

也想成是你个人的五周期任务嘛

If you want to lure me in with sexy talk that's how you do it

你想用撩人的话来套路我就得像他这样

Don't be proud of that

你有毛好骄傲啊

So is that a yes

所以你同意了吗

Not yet I

还没呢我...

How will I learn if I'm comfortable living with Amy

我如何能确定我是跟艾米相住愉快

or just comfortable because I'm in my own apartment

还是因为只是在自己家里待得舒服呢

Now if this experiment is going to be valid

如果要让这个实验有效

I suggest a neutral environment

我建议我跟她得住在中立环境

Well where would you go

那你们要住哪去

Well ideally an enclosed

理想来说在新墨西哥州的

self sustaining biodome in New Mexico

一个封闭式能自给自足的生态馆里

Where we would eat crops fertilized with our own waste

在那里我们吃用我们排泄物施肥的农作物

And you were worried about the romance

同住怕不浪漫吃屎就浪漫了吗

Wait Why don't you guys stay across the hall

等等那你们怎么不直接住去我家

and we will live here

然后我跟莱纳德住这里

Interesting

有意思

If my official residence were across the hall

如果我把寝宫移到了对门

I wonder if I'd need to knock every time I came over here

那我回来这里需不需要敲门呢

That's a good question

这是个好问题

Maybe just don't come over

要不你就干脆别回来了

Historically I don't do well with change

从过去经验来看我很不适应改变

Okay it won't be that bad

也不会有那么糟啦

We wouldn't even sit in your spot while you're gone

你不在的时候我们也不会去坐你的专座

You're darn right you wouldn't

大胆刁民你当然不敢

No matter where I am this will always be my spot

无论我在哪里这里永远都是我的专座

Like an embassy in a foreign country

就像是那些外国大使馆

this seat is the sovereign soil of my bottom

这座位永远是我屁股不可分割的一部分

Just nod and smile He's almost gone

就点头陪笑就对了他就要走了

Sheldon what do you think

谢尔顿你觉得呢

Very well I'm on board

好吧我同意

Seriously Yes

-真的吗 -真的

I accept this five week mission

我接受这个五周的任务

to share a living space with my girlfriend

跟我的女朋友分享同一居住空间

Oh This is so exciting

好兴奋啊

Well now don't be surprised if like Star Trek

但跟《原初系列》一样

it's canceled in three

三季就砍的话也别太惊讶

I have to say I am happy with your OBGYN

不得不说我对你的妇产科医生挺满意

Cool 'Cause she says you're doing a great job as

那就好因为那医生也很满意

"Weird friend who doesn't have to be at every appointment "

你这位"明明不用每次都跟来的怪朋友"

I'm the son of a gynecologist I could be helpful

我父亲是一名妇科医生我能帮得上忙嘛

It would help if you stopped telling me

你想帮忙的话就不要跟我说

I have a textbook cervix

我的子宫颈长得很标准了

The polite response is "Thank you for noticing "

有礼貌的回答应该是"谢谢你注意到"

Let me see the sonogram again

再让我看一次B超图

Oh yeah that's a good looking baby for a little gray blob

这个小灰团看起来就是一个漂亮宝宝

Yeah we could name him Blobert

我们可以给他取名团仔

What if it's a girl

如果是女孩怎么办

Bloberta

灰灰

Or Blobbi with an "I "

或者是灰妞

Are we being silly not finding out the sex

我们不问性别是不是太傻了

Yeah I was just thinking the same thing

我也正在想这事呢

If you want you can find out right now

如果你们愿意你们现在就能知道

The doctor's gone for the day so it doesn't matter

医生今天已经下班了算了

Well somebody else knows because they saw it in the folder

有人可是在档案里看到了哦

You looked in our folder

你偷看了我们的档案吗

It was an accident

我不小心看到的

The doctor left the folder out on her desk

医生就这样随随便便把档案放在她桌子上

It's not my fault I opened it and looked

于是我就看了怪我咯

So you know the sex of our baby and we don't

所以你知道孩子的性别我们却一无所知

Flip a coin You got a fifty fifty shot

你们可以投硬币猜对的机会高达5成

It's unbelievable God Raj

-真不敢相信 -你妹的拉杰

What This is not a problem okay

咋了这又不是什么问题

If you don't want to know I don't have to tell you

你们如果不想知道我不告诉你们就好啦

We don't want you to know

我们不想让你知道

Okay well that's a problem

好吧这就的确是个问题

You know I'm very proud of you for trying to live with Amy

你愿意尝试和艾米同居我可为你自豪了

Oh Thank you

谢谢

Of course the ideal way to conduct this experiment

其实最理想方式是

would be with four pairs of identical Sheldons and Amys

使用四组完全一样的谢尔顿和艾米来做实验

One pair that was neither dating nor living together

第一组不是恋爱关系也不同居

One pair that was dating but not living together

第二组是恋爱关系但不同居

One pair that was living together but not dating

第三组同居但不是恋爱关系

And then of course one pair

最后第四组

that was living together and dating

既是恋爱关系又同居在一起

Although with that many Sheldons

不过如果真有这么多的谢尔顿

it'd be such a party we'd never get anything done

大家早就玩得忘乎所以忘掉实验的事了

That was a cute story

真是个萌萌的小故事啊

So um

那个...

What did you want to ask me

你之前想问我什么来着

Well you've lived with your significant other for some time

你有过和恋人同居的经验

I would like this experiment to go well

我希望这次实验可以顺利进行

Are there any insights you can share

你有什么好建议吗

Well the biggie is if she has an insane roommate

最重要的一点如果她的室友是个疯子

kick him out as soon as possible

不要犹豫立刻把那室友扫地出门

You know Leonard and I were very happy before you came along

在你出现之前莱纳德和我可幸福美满了

You've been roommates with Sheldon forever

你和谢尔顿做了这么久的室友

Do you have any advice

有什么经验之谈吗

I'm trying to think of an answer

我正努力寻找一个

that won't stop you from doing this

不会让你不敢搬进来的答案

I know it sounds like a cliche

虽然这是老生常谈了

but compromise is key

但退一步真的会海阔天空

Never leave a belt on the floor

不要把皮带留在地板上

At night they look like snakes

在晚上看起来特别像蛇

Do little things like bring her a cup of coffee in bed

从小事做起早上把咖啡送到她床上去

Keep M&M'S in your pocket

口袋里时刻备有巧克力豆

in case you have to wait in a long line

以防你们俩遇到排长队的时候

You're gonna be seeing each other a lot

你们每天都要见好多次面

so respect each other's personal space

所以要尊重各自的私人空间

He startles easily so please no flash photography

他特别容易受惊吓照相千万别开闪光灯

How many pairs of underwear did you pack for the move

你这次带了几条内裤

I don't know I didn't count

我不知道我没数

You truly are the Goofus to my Gallant

真是白面秀才遇上了邋遢兵

That's me Listen

对兵是我听我说

you and I are gonna be sharing a bed

你和我要睡在一张床上了

You know this is uncharted territory for both of us

这件事对于我俩都是头一次

How are you feeling about that

你对此有何感想

Oh excited concerned

非常兴奋有些疑虑

a little scared

还有点害怕

All the same emotions I feel in line at Space Mountain

就跟我在迪斯尼太空山排队时的心情一模一样

Well if you're nervous about the sleeping arrangements

如果你是为睡觉的问题而困扰的话

maybe we should talk about it

也许我们应该好好谈一谈

Okay

好呀

Talk

谈吧

Well I imagine one of your concerns

我猜你的疑虑之一

might be coital expectations

应该是担心会需要做爱吧

Wow no foreplay or anything just right to it

也不来点前戏直捣黄龙啊

Look I know this experiment

我明白这次实验对你来说是

is a big step outside of your comfort zone

迈出舒适圈的一大步

So why don't we take being physical off the table

所以我们不如先暂缓发生性关系

and maybe later on

留到后面

once we're more settled in we can revisit it

等彼此适应下来再提这个话题

You're really okay with that

你对此真的没意见吗

I've never lived with someone either

我也从来没和别人同居过

This is a lot for me too

这对我来说也是大挑战

This is such a relief

听你这么说我心里就轻松了

Honestly if it didn't get you all worked up

说真的要不是怕你会欲火焚身

I'd kiss you right now

我都想吻你来谢你

Good call

好决定

Seeing your Teen Titans underwear

在看到你的《少年泰坦》卡通内裤后

really got my motor running

我的确是"性致高昂"

I know They probably shouldn't sell those to children

我懂你这种产品就不该卖给孩子

Well here's your key

钥匙给你

Thank you

谢谢

Enjoy having the place to yourselves

好好享受公寓里二人世界吧

You enjoy your mission to boldly go

你们也好好享受

where no man has gone before

这段从未有人涉足过的伟大任务吧

It's Penny's bedroom

那是佩妮的卧室

Plenty of men have gone before

涉足其中的男人数不胜数

Now now there's no need to make this emotional

好了好了不要搞得这么情绪化

Shall we

我们走吧

I guess this is it

看来要就此别过了

You guys have fun

祝你们住得高兴

You too

你也是

Oh don't forget

别忘了

Tuesday the air filters need to be changed

周二得换空气净化器滤网

Yeah you wrote it on my hand

记得你已经写我手上了

Oh and every other day

还有每隔一天

check the water level on the avocado pit

检查牛油果盆栽的水位

I'm on it

我来负责

15 years from now we'll make guacamole together

十五年后我们可以一起做牛油果酱

Leonard please let me go

莱纳德别撩我让我走

Come on Sheldon

走了谢尔顿

Oh Bye

再见

Good night Good night

-晚安 -晚安

Well that's it

就这样

For the next five weeks we are officially living together

接下来的五个星期里我们要正式同居

I guess the experiment begins

实验就此开始

We did it Yeah

-我们成功了 -好棒

Which side of the bed would you prefer

你比较想睡在床的哪一侧

Doesn't matter to me Your choice

我无所谓你选吧

No no we're living together now everything's equal

不行不行我们现在同居了一切平等

You know I know that I have a tendency to be controlling

其实我知道我的控制欲稍强一点

so I would rather you choose

所以我希望由你来选择

Well Sheldon I really appreciate that

谢尔顿你的好意我心领了

but these things mean more to you than they do to me

但这些事对你来说更为重要

so whatever you want

所以你想怎样都行

Well clearly it's not whatever I want

这明显就不是我想怎样都行

because what I want is for you to make this decision

因为我想要你来做选择

and you refuse to do that

而你拒绝了

Well I'm not refusing

我不是拒绝

I'm just trying to be considerate

只是想考虑周全而已

Like when you let me get those shoes

就像你叫我买那双

with the wheels on the bottom

鞋底带着轮子的鞋

and then watched me roll right into traffic

然后眼睁睁看着我滚入车流之中吗

Sheldon will you please just pick a side Fine

-谢尔顿你就赶紧选行不行 -好吧

Okay Now on this side

好的在这一侧

I am closer to the exit in case of emergency

一旦发生意外我离出口更近

Great That's your side

很好你就睡这侧

No but I'm also closer to the entrance in case of attack

可一旦有人进屋袭击我离他也更近

Okay I'll take that side

行那我就睡那侧

Ah then again what are the odds of someone attacking me

可话说回来有人来袭击的几率又能有多大

Rising rapidly

急速增长中

Now this side offers me proximity to the bathroom

而在这一侧方便我去卫生间

but I am closer to the window

但也离窗户较近

where perverts can watch me sleep

怪叔叔可以偷看我睡觉觉

Okay

好的

What if we do this

那这样有没有好点

I suppose that works

这样也行

Great

很好

Although now I'm kind of worried someone's hiding behind those drapes

不过我现在开始担心有人藏在窗帘后面了

This is ridiculous

这太荒谬了

The doctor knows what the baby is

医生知道孩子的性别

the ultrasound tech knows Raj knows

超声波的技术人员知道拉杰知道

his Grey's Anatomy online fan group probably knows

他在的《实习医生格蕾》线上粉丝群友可能也知道

Is it weird we don't

我们不知道会不会很奇怪

I don't know

不知道

Maybe the surprise will make it more fun

也许最后的惊喜会让它更有意思

Like magic tricks

就像魔术一样

Remember how disappointed you were

还记得我跟你揭秘了无穷尽手帕魔术时

when I explained the never ending hanky

你当时有多失望吗

I was disappointed to see the man I was engaged to

我失望的是看到我要嫁的男人

pulling rainbow scarves out of his fly

从他的裤门里拽出一长条彩虹丝巾

But how delightful was it when I pulled out

可你当时明明很高兴看到

a bouquet at the end of those scarves

丝巾最尾端连着的那束花啊

It'll be the same thing

所以等医生

when the doctor pulls a beautiful surprise out of you

从你身体里拽出来个惊喜时也是一样的

Everyone said I could do better

所有人都说我插牛粪上了

But you didn't listen and presto change o

可你没听劝转眼间

my baby's inside you Ta da

你怀上了小牛粪

Ugh What is that

那是什么玩意儿

Why'd you switch sides

你为什么换边了

Be grateful I'm still in the room

本皇没落跑你就跪谢吧

Comfy

舒服吗

Oh I'm just happy I don't know

我很开心我不知道

what this memory foam remembers

这些记忆海绵记忆过哪些"姿势"

Sheldon

谢尔顿

I know we took coitus off the table

我知道我们说好了不交媾

but I was wondering how you feel about other forms of intimacy

但我想知道你怎么看待其他形式的亲密

such as snuggling

比如依偎睡觉

Well it's funny you should ask

这个问题问得好

because I was wondering how you'd feel

因为我刚才还在琢磨

about separating the two of us with a pillow wall

你怎么看待用枕头墙把咱俩隔开这个主意

Sheldon I've made more than enough accommodations for you

谢尔顿我为你已经做出很多改变了

We're both grown adults

我们都是大人了

we've been far more intimate than this

曾经也有过比这更亲密的举动

If you don't want to snuggle fine

如果你不想依偎着睡没问题

but we're not building a pillow wall

但我不会搭一堵枕头墙的

Okay well I am sorry

好啦我道歉

I'm just worried that my sensitivity to temperature

我只是担心我对温度的敏感

could make this a rough night

会让今夜很难熬

And no offense but your bottom radiates enough heat

没有恶意可你屁股辐射出的热度

I'm surprised there aren't iguanas lying on it

不禁让我纳闷怎么美洲鬣蜥还没来取暖

That's it It's Sheldon's bedtime

到点了谢尔顿睡觉时间到

He is in for the night

他今晚在那睡定了

Wow I cannot believe we are alone in our own apartment

不敢相信我们的公寓里就剩我们俩了

It's weird

感觉很奇怪

This must be how parents feel

孩子们离家去上大学后

when their kid goes off to college

家长肯定就是这种感觉

Unless they feel sad then it's different

但如果家长觉得难过那就另当别论了

So what do you want to do

你想做什么

I know exactly what we are gonna do

我太清楚我们要做什么了

Really You're a genius

不是吧你是天才

and that's the first thing you come up with

想到的第一件事就是这个吗

Hey Sheldon's not here

谢尔顿不在

so we are going to put on music

所以我们要来点音乐嗨起来

and dance in our underwear

穿着内裤舞起来

Ugh Can we just have sex

好恶直接做爱行吗

Oh don't worry

别担心

Once you see my sweet moves sex is inevitable

你见识我的曼妙舞姿后一定会想扑倒我

Inevitable you say

你说"一定会扑倒"是吗

I'll just let my hips do the talkin'

我让我的屁屁来回答你好了

Screw it I'm calling and finding out

不管了我要打电话问清楚

Good Call him

好打给他

Wait I'm not sure I want to know

慢着我不确定我想知道

But you just said you wanted to know

但你刚说了你想知道

Well now I don't know if I want to know

现在我不知道我是否想知道

Hello

喂

Call you back

再打给你

No Dr Feynman

不费曼博士

If I solve it for you you'll never learn

如果我帮你解决了你怎么能学习呢

Wow Where did you learn these moves

你在哪里学会的这些舞步啊

The world may have forgotten about Dance Dance Revolution

这个世界也许已经遗忘了跳舞机

but not this smooth criminal

但这个"犯罪高手"可没忘

MV里有他的招牌45度前倾动作

迈克尔·杰克逊名曲

Okay you're positive you want to know

好了你确定你想知道吗

Yes Okay Here we go

-确定 -好的我打了

It's ringing

响了

Hello

喂

Wait Wrong number

-慢着 -打错了

I told you not to do the worm

我跟你说了不要跳虫爬式[霹雳舞经典动作]

You were right

你是对的

Hello

喂

I changed my mind Hang up Hang up

老娘改主意了挂掉挂掉

What are you doing down there Hang on

-你在地上做什么 -稍等

Who are you calling

你在打电话给谁

I'm so sore

我浑身酸痛

I don't think I slept two minutes last night

我想我昨晚没睡超过两分钟

Yeah get it girl

爽啊姐妹

It's not what you think

不是你想的那样

I feel like I pulled something

我觉得我拉伤了

Why didn't you tell me to stop

你为什么不叫我停下呢

Even more not what you think

更加不是你想的那样

I don't know if I can make it through five weeks living with him

我不知道能否熬过和他一起住五周时间

If you ever need a break the owner of the train store

如果你需要甩开他一阵火车模型店的老板

will let you leave him there while you get a coffee Yeah

-会同意帮你照看他一下让你去喝杯咖啡 -对

Good morning

早上好

See I didn't knock but it's fine

看我没敲门不过没关系

I didn't knock but it's fine I didn't knock but it's fine

我没敲门不过没关系我没敲门不过没关系

So how is everyone

大家还好吗

Miserable and exhausted

苦不堪言精疲力尽

Really I slept great

是吗我睡得可香了

Well I didn't and it's your fault

我没睡好都怪你

How You had the whole floor to yourself

这话怎么说整个地板不都归你了吗

Sheldon maybe living together is a bad idea

谢尔顿也许同居不是个好主意

Well Yeah but what kind of scientists would we be

仅仅凭12小时的数据就得出结论

drawing a conclusion after only 12 hours of data

我们算是哪门子的科学家

The kind who almost put a pillow over your face last night

昨晚差点用枕头闷死你的那种

I anticipated we'd have problems

我就知道我们间会出现问题

but I never thought your scientific rigor would be one of them

但我真没想到你的科学严谨性会是其中之一

I'm sorry are you questioning my integrity as a scientist

打断下你是在质疑我作为科学家的诚信吗

If the lab room disposable shoe cover fits

实验室的一次性鞋套合脚吗

Was that a science diss

这算是科学版撕逼吗

Yeah Was it a good one

-对 -这句撕得狠吗

What would a theoretical physicist

一个理论物理学家

understand about an experiment anyway

懂个屁的实验啊

I mean you wouldn't know a confounding variable

就算混杂和变量同时扇你耳光

if two of them hit you in the face at the same time

你都不会感觉到混杂变量

And you don't even get that joke

而且你根本听不懂笑点在哪里

'cause you don't even work with confounding variables

因为你根本没和混杂变量打过交道

How dare you

你胆子够大的

Oh you heard me

我说了又怎么样

Your experimental bona fides are laughable

你的实验诚信度就是个笑话

Whoa whoa Now you're making fun of my bona fides

你居然敢取笑我的诚信度

Can't make fun of something that's a null set

是空集的东西要如何取笑

I feel like I should say "Damn " Do it

-我感觉这句适合喊个"厉害" -喊吧

Damn

厉害

Well if you are so protective of the scientific method

如果你对科学方法的保护欲这么强

perhaps we should use the next five weeks

也许我们应该用接下来五周时间

to finish what we started

做完我们已经开始做的事

Well for science maybe I will

为了科学也许我愿意

For science maybe you should

为了科学也许你应该这样做

Fine Fine

-行 -行

Good Great

-很好 -好极了

Do you want to go to our place and make out

你想回我们公寓亲热吗

Does Stephen Hawking roll through the quad

史蒂芬·霍金是坐电动轮椅溜达的吗

The new neighbors are weird

新邻居真是怪人