生活大爆炸-S08E22_生活大爆炸

S01

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It's like the best one they make

这款是市面上最棒的一台了

I just can't get it to work

可怎么弄都飞不起来

I'll figure it out

我来弄吧

It streams HD video straight to your phone while it's flying

这玩意能边飞边串流高清影片到你手机上

Nice

Where were you when I was single

我单身的时候这小宝贝在哪呢

Okay we should leave in about an hour You all packed

我们一小时内就得出发你东西收拾好了吗

Uh yeah I just need to throw in a few last minute things

差不多出发前再加几件东西进去就行

you know makeup underwear clothes

就化妆品内衣裤衣服那些

If your bathroom floor counts as a carry on

如果你的浴室地板能算手提行李

you're packed

那你算收拾完毕了

Leonard have you ever given a high school commencement speech before

莱纳德你以前有在高中毕业典礼致辞过吗

Nope It's pretty exciting

没有挺让人激动的

Aren't you afraid of being blinded

你不怕被弄瞎吗

How would I be blinded

我为什么会被弄瞎

At the end of the ceremony

在毕业典礼的最后

all the students throw those pointy hats in the air

学生都会把四方尖角帽抛上天空

It's all pomp and circumstance until someone loses an eye

场面还会挺有气势直到有人被戳瞎眼

I'll take my chances

我乐意赌一把

Fine

随你

I wonder if they make "I told you so" cards in braille

你说有没有卖"我早说了"的点字版卡片

Look the problem with commencement speeches

毕业典礼演讲最大的问题是

is that they're boring

都很无聊

Ooh do you own a T shirt cannon

你有能发射T恤的T恤大炮吗

Why would he own a T shirt cannon

他没事为啥会有T恤大炮

I don't know Why do I own one

不知道啊但为啥我有咧

I think it's really nice

我觉得你很贴心

that you're sharing this experience with Penny

愿意带佩妮分享这样的机会

Mm I thought it'd be fun

我觉得带她去

to show her my old stomping grounds

我的母校地盘看看应该蛮有意思

I even know the exact spot where they used to stomp me

我还记得我是在哪块"地盘"被人踩呢

Well now you get to go back as a successful scientist

但现在你能以成功科学家身份衣锦还乡啊

With a beautiful girl on your arm

手里搂着美女

And a pointy hat sticking out of your eyeball

眼里还插着一顶四方尖角帽

生

活

大

爆

炸

第八季第二十二集

How'd you get ready so fast

你怎么能这么快就准备好呢

Oh I pack light

我轻装上阵嘛

Once I got through an entire spring break

有一年的春假

with nothing but a long T shirt and a belt

我回家就带了一件长T恤跟腰带

Why did you need a belt

你为啥会需要腰带

It's called an evening look

那叫晚装好吗

I've never been to New Jersey before

我从来没去过新泽西呢

It gets a bad rap from shows

电视节目把它名声搞臭了

like Jersey Shore and Real Housewives

比如《泽西海滩》或《贵妇的真实生活》

《泽西贵妇的真实生活》就是有钱人在秀下限

《泽西海滩》讲八名男女去泽西海岸打工玩乐

So it's not really like that

所以实情不是那样吗

No it's like that

没还真的就像那样

Well I'm excited to show you around

但还是很期待能带你到处看看

You think we'll have time to visit your mom over there

你觉得我们会有时间去探望你妈吗

Yes

有啊

We'll also have time to put my junk in a garlic press

还时间把我的鸡鸡放进压蒜器呢

but I'm not doing that either

但我也不会因为有时间就做啊

I just got an alert

刚收到短信提醒

Our flight's been canceled

我们的班机被取消了

What

什么

Yeah looks like there's a big storm all up the East Coast

东海岸这里好像有个很大的台风

Well can we get on another airline

能换别家的班机吗

I don't think so

貌似不行

So that's it We're not going

所以就这样不去了吗

I guess not

看来是

Well that sucks Yeah

-也太衰了吧 -是啊

I worked hard on that speech too

我可是非常认真准备这段致辞呢

Oh You could tell it to me

你可以念给我听啊

Oh thank you but I'm okay

谢谢啊不过不用啦

Are you sure

你确定吗

I could pretend I'm a high school cheerleader

我可以假装我是高中拉拉队长

who can't control herself around esteemed alumni

对成功的校友没有任何抵抗力哦

Greetings distinguished cheerleaders

杰出的拉拉队员们你们好吗

Okay the WiFi extender is on the camera's on

无线网扩展器开启了摄像机也开启了

they're both on the same network

而且两者都连到了同个网

we should be getting an image

我们应该能收到画面了啊

All I see is a black screen

我只能看到黑色的屏幕

And my own reflection

以及我自己的倒影

I look sad

我看起来好伤心

Maybe we should recalibrate it

可能我们得重新校准一下

All right

好吧

Step one rapidly flip the calibration switch

第一步: 快速扳动校准开关

from the fully up to the fully down

从最上方扳到最下方

positions for at least ten times

此动作最少重复十次

It actually says "at least"

上面真写了"最少"吗

Yeah

对啊

Why would they say "at least"

它为啥会写"最少"啊

Is it ten toggles

那到底是扳十次

Is it 100 toggles You know

还是扳一百次呢

Is it 1 000 toggles

还是扳一千次

10 000 toggles

一万次呢

100 000 toggles Sheldon

-还是十万次 -谢尔顿

You see where I'm going with this

你懂我接下来要说的是什么

Just flip the switch

你就快点扳就是了

until the lights on the drone change to solid yellow

直到无人机的灯变成长亮的黄色

All right that seems simple enough

好吧这步看起来不难

Initiating calibration sequence

启动校准程序

One two three four

一二三四

five six seven eight nine ten

五六七八九十

Well I suppose ten is technically "at least ten "

看来技术上来说十等于"最少十下"

But they're still getting at least one angry letter

但他们"最少"会收到一封愤怒的投诉信

Now I rotate it horizontally

现在沿着中轴

on its center axis until the lights turn green

水平旋转它直到灯号变成绿色

Initiating rotation sequence

启动旋转程序

Don't look at me initiate

看我干嘛启动啊

What does red and yellow mean

这红跟黄灯代表什么意思

It means the calibration failed

代表校准失败

We have to start over

我们得从头再来

Oh Very well

好吧

Reinitiating calibration sequence

重新启动校准程序

One two three four

一二三四

five six seven eight nine ten

五六七八九十

eleven

十一

It's a good thing I didn't send that letter

还好那封信我没有寄出

Hello Daddy What's up

老爸最近还好吗

Not much just wanted to see how my son's doing

还行就想看看我儿子最近好不好

Very well thank you

很好啊谢谢关心

Are you still dating that dermatologist

你还在跟那位皮肤科医生约会吗

If you could feel how soft my skin is

如果你能摸到我的皮肤多柔嫩

you wouldn't have to ask

你就不会问了

Oh and there's something else I wanted to ask you

我还有另一件事想问你

Why did you spend a month's rent on a toy helicopter

你为啥把一个月的房租钱拿去买玩具飞机

Oh you're where that bill goes

原来那张账单是寄给你了啊

I'm tired of indulging your foolish lifestyle

我受够了纵容你的白痴生活

It's time you learned responsibility

是时候让你学会负起责任了

And the only way to teach you that

而唯一能教会你这事的方法

is to cut off your allowance

不再给你零用钱

No Daddy no

不行爸不行

There are lots of other ways to teach me responsibility

能让我学会负责任的方法多了去了

I know you can give me an egg

比如你可以给我颗鸡蛋

and make me take care of it for a week

让我照顾好它整整一周啊

No my mind is made up

不必了我已经决定了

Starting now you're on your own

从现在开始你自食其力吧

But Daddy I I miss my family so much

可是爸比我好想家人

and with you and Mummy getting a divorce

你跟妈咪又离婚了

I feel sad and empty

我好不开心又好空虚

Buying a little toy every now and then

偶尔买个小玩具

helps me fill that void

能帮助我填满心中的空虚

So while I can't hug you every day

所以尽管我不能天天拥抱你

flying that helicopter

飞那台直升机...

I'm cutting you off

我要断了你

Just to be clear financially or mid sentence

我确认一下是断钱还是挂断电话

No red and yellow

别跳红黄灯啊

no red and yellow

别跳黄红灯啊

It's green Yay We did it

-变绿了 -我们成功了

God if it's this much fun to rotate

天啊光捧着转就这么有意思

imagine when we fly it

等飞起来还得了

Okay now all I have to do is rotate it vertically

好了现在我只需垂直旋转机体

until the lights turn off

直到绿灯熄灭

Oh no

不

All right playtime's over

好了娱乐时间结束

Let's open this baby up

咱们把这宝贝拆开吧

Won't that void the warranty

拆开就不能保修了

Sheldon I have a master's degree in engineering

谢尔顿我有一个工程学硕士学位

I wipe my bottom with warranties

保修卡只配给我擦屁股

Except for AppleCare

苹果的保修除外

That pays for itself in the long run

从长远来看维修费很快会回本

Hey where'd you go

你去哪儿了

I got you a little something to cheer you up

我给你买了点东西让你开心开心

Really

真的吗

Sex last night pancakes this morning

昨晚的爱爱今早的饼饼

Am I dying

我这是要死的节奏吗

Just open it

快打开看看

A cap and gown

四方帽和长袍

Why do I need a cap and gown

我为什么会需要这俩玩意

Because you are giving your commencement speech

因为你要在毕业典礼上致辞

What are you talking about

你在说什么呀

I called your old high school

我打给你以前的高中

and convinced them to let you give your speech over Skype

说服他们让你通过视频聊天在典礼上致辞

Really

真的吗

That's amazing

太棒了

And you gave me the robes to give it in

你还特意买了长袍让我致辞时穿

Thank you

谢谢

Yeah now about those

对哦关于长袍我有话说

uh they came from a costume shop

这是我在一家道具店买的

and all they had left was sexy graduate

店里只剩下性感毕业生装束了

so they

所以长袍...

might be a little short

可能会有点短

Short and sexy that's my wheelhouse Yeah

-又短[矮]又性感我的强项嘛 -没错

Boy oh boy that's a lot of pieces

哎呀呀零件还真多呀

You know what they all do right

你都知道是干嘛的对吧

Yes of course

当然那还用说

What about this one

那这个是干嘛的

Well I how familiar are you

这个嘛...你熟不熟

with miniaturized integrated logic circuits

小型集成逻辑电路呢

Not very

不太熟

That right there is a miniaturized integrated logic circuit

那你手里拿着的正是这玩意

So can you get it working

那你能修好它吗

I'm an MIT trained engineer

我可是麻省理工毕业的工程师

I've built components for the space station

我还为太空站出过一份力呢

I thought the zero gravity toilet didn't work

我还以为那个零重力厕所不能用呢

It worked fine

能用好吗

it just wasn't designed for Russian cosmonauts

只不过设计不适合俄罗斯宇航员

and their potato based diet

以及他们的全是马铃薯的饮食

Hey guys

你好啊

Hello

你来啦

I have to return the helicopter My father

我得把直升飞机退了我爸...

What did you do

你俩干了什么好事

Well don't worry

别担心

He went to MIT

他是麻省理工毕业的

He can solve any problem

他可以解决任何问题

as long as it doesn't originate in a Russian man's colon

只要不是来自俄罗斯人的结肠就行

I don't freaking believe this

真他妈不敢相信

Relax it'll be fine

别紧张能装回去

No you have to put this back together right now

不是你现在必须装回去

so I can return it

我才能拿去退

You can't return it

你退不了了

Howard wiped his bottom with the warranty

霍华德用保修卡擦屁股了

What

什么

I think metaphorically

我猜他可能只是打个比方

But he was in the bathroom for a while

但他刚真进了厕所好一会呢

Howard my father cut me off

霍华德我爸不给我零用钱花了

I have to get my money back for this

我得把这玩意退了把钱拿回来

Calm down

冷静

Okay

好吧

Okay you're right

好吧你是对的

It's time for me to step up

我是时候站出来

and take responsibility for my life

为自己的人生负责了

Be a man

当个爷们

Hello Mummy

妈咪是我啊

Hello Rajesh

拉杰什呀

What a nice surprise

这通电话真让我惊喜

Well I've been thinking about you

我一直很想你

How are you doing Are you happy Mummy

你好吗你快乐吗妈咪

Such a sweet boy for asking

乖儿子真关心我

Can't believe you come from the poison seed of your father

真不敢相信你是来自你父亲的毒种

Well I like to think I take mostly after you

我觉得我比较随你

Anyway speaking of Daddy

对了说起爸爸

I had a very strange conversation with him

我们刚进行了一次非常奇怪的通话

He said he couldn't afford to send me money anymore

他说以后没钱打生活费给我了

because of his active social life

因为他有活跃的社交生活

What does that mean "active social life"

这话什么意思 "活跃的社交生活"

Well let's not talk about him

好啦咱们别聊他了

or whatever shenanigans he may or may not be up to

谁在乎他有没有在密谋什么诡计啊

Let's talk about you

咱们来聊聊你吧

Rajesh is your father seeing someone

拉杰什你爸是不是跟人约会了

All I know Mummy is that he's a single wealthy doctor

妈咪我只知道他是一个单身多金的医生

and now for some reason

而现在出于某种原因

there's no money for your little boy

突然没钱给你的宝贝儿子了

Well however much money your father was giving you

好不管你老爸之前给你多少钱

I'll give you more

我给你更多

Thank you Mummy I love you

谢谢妈咪我爱你

Helicopters for everybody

一人一台直升机

What's taking so long

怎么这么久啊

I don't think this is gonna work

我觉得这么穿不行

Just let me see

出来给我看看

Sweetie you know you're supposed to wear clothes

亲爱的毕业长袍里

underneath a graduation gown

应该穿上衣服

A surprised you know that

首先我很惊讶你知道这点

B I wanted to look like a sexy graduate for you

其次我想让你觉得我是一个性感毕业生

Well you do

你成功了

Thank you Yeah

-谢谢 -好啦

You're gonna be on Skype they're not gonna see your legs

反正你是视频语聊他们也看不到你的腿

Well I'm gonna go put on some pants just in case

以防万一我还是穿上裤子吧

But I have to say this is very freeing

但我要说一句这样穿真的好"解放"

Add a belt and I'll take you someplace nice

系条腰带我就带你去个好地方

Done and done

没问题

Okay I think I've narrowed it down

好了我已经把故障缩小到

to a faulty pin on the onboard communication chip

飞机通讯芯片上一个错误的针脚

Very impressive

真厉害

You know when you're done with that

等你修完那台

can you look at this

可以看下这台吗

It doesn't make smoke anymore

它不会冒烟了

One toy at a time

一个个来

Mm Sorry

抱歉

Ah maybe it's for the best

或许这样最好

I hear locomotive smoke

我听说火车头的烟

is the second leading cause of death among train aficionados

是火车宅们第二大死因

What's the first one

第一大死因是什么

Suicide

自杀

Wrong

错

Obesity

肥胖

I have the tool you wanted

我把你要的工具拿来了

Thank you

谢谢

You guys don't have to go to the trouble

你们其实不必这么费劲

I'm back in the money now

哥现在又有钱了

I can just buy another helicopter

再买一台就好啦

It's not about the money

重点不是钱

It's about solving a problem

而是解决问题

It's why I became an engineer

这是我当工程师的初衷

It's what I like to do it's what I'm trained to do

我喜欢做这个我学的也是这个

It's who I am

这就是我

Oh look at you the little engineer that could

瞧你小工程师做到了

源自童书《小引擎做到了》

Why don't you just call tech support

为什么不找技术支持呢

Hey Not cool

-说啥呢 -太逊了

What

怎么了

There's two kinds of people in this world

这个世上有两种人

those who call tech support

打给技术支持求助的人

and those who make fun of the people who call tech support

与嘲笑前者的那种人

I call tech support all the time

我就每次都打给技术支持啊

You call tech support What a baby

-你居然找技术支持 -真没用

And now for our commencement address

现在我们的毕业典礼演讲

one of our most distinguished alumni

邀请到了我们最杰出的校友之一

noted Caltech physicist Dr Leonard Hofstadter

加州理工名物理学家莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德

Members of the faculty students

各位教员各位同学

I'm excited to speak to you today

我今天很高兴能为大家致辞

I can't help but remember the last time I was in this auditorium

我脑海中一直想起上次来这礼堂的情景

Two guys from the lacrosse team

两个长曲棍球队的人

played keep away with my asthma inhaler

拿我的气喘药吸入器当球打不让我接

But enough about my ten year reunion

我毕业十年同学会的事就不讲了

I'd also like to take a moment

我也想再花点时间

to thank my beautiful fiancee

感谢我美丽的未婚妻

for to helping make this speech possible

即使在天气不允许的情况下

even though weather nearly prevented it

仍将不可能变成现实

Oh Hello

大家好啊

I I didn't know he was gonna point it at me

我不知道他会把镜头转过来

所以...

don't do drugs and stay in school

别吸毒别辍学哦

They're graduating

他们要毕业了

Okay bye

好吧再见

All right the power supply is reconnected

好了电源供给重新连接上了

I think we're back in business

我觉得我们能出征啦

Let's just run a few tests before we take it outside

在出征前先做几个测试

Sheldon we got WiFi

谢尔顿网连上了吗

Check

已连上

GPS

全球定位系统呢

Check

已定位

Battery charged

电池充满了吗

Check

已充满

Four hours of our lives gone Check

四小时的生命浪费掉了吗已浪费

All right All systems go

好的各系统准备工作就绪

In five

倒数五秒

four three two one

四三二一

That's what my train used to do

我的小火车以前也能这样

Ready to call tech support

准备好打给技术支持了吗

Give me the number

电话给我

Probably wind up talking to some foreign guy

打了估计也是某个咖喱国的客服

who's reading from the same manual I have

看着同样的说明书机械化地回答问题

It's my father you jerks

我爸打来了都怪你们俩混蛋

Hello Daddy

爸比怎么了

What did you say to your mother

你跟你妈妈说了什么

Nothing

没有啊

I was just calling to check in

我就打给她问个好

make sure she's doing okay

看看她最近怎么样啊

Well after talking to you

她跟你说完电话后

she seems to think I'm some sort of playboy

她貌似觉得我是个风流浪子

Really

真的吗

I don't know where she'd get an idea like that

我不知道她怎么会产生这种想法

You know mummy and her crazy imagination

你也懂妈咪这人还有她常会乱想

I'm so lucky I take after you

我觉得我能随你真是太幸运了

You think you take after me

你觉得你是随我吗

Well I try to

我尽量这么想啊

I certainly wouldn't be a scientist

如果不是有你做榜样

if you hadn't been my role model

我也不会去当科学家

Who wants to go to Vegas in a real helicopter

谁想坐真的直升飞机去拉斯维加斯

It was L Frank Baum who said

弗兰克·鲍姆曾说过

"No thief however skillful can rob one of knowledge

"多厉害的小偷都无法偷走别人脑中的知识

and that is why knowledge is the best and safest treasure "

所以知识是最棒最安全的宝藏"

Wow I'm boring myself

我自己听了都觉得无聊

Sorry I can't see any of your faces right now

抱歉我现在看不到你们的表情

but I bet they look like this

但我猜大概是这样

Uh you know I I wrote an entire speech

其实我写了整篇致辞

to say how high school prepares you

要说高中让你准备好面对未来

and what a wonderful place it is

以及高中有多美好

but I hated it

但其实我超讨厌高中

Maybe high school's great if you look like this

或许有人高中过得很开心前提是你长这样...

but I didn't even feel like I existed at that school

但其实我当年觉得自己超没存在感

And now that I think about it

现在我仔细一想

I bet a lot of you feel the same way

我猜你们很多人也有这种感觉

So for the remainder of my speech

所以我接下来的致辞

this is for the invisible kids

要献给没有存在感的孩子们

Uh maybe you never fit in

或许你在学校格格不入

Or maybe you're the smallest kid in the school

或许你是学校里最矮小

or the heaviest or the weirdest

最胖的或最怪的孩子

Maybe you're graduating

或许你都要毕业了

and you still haven't had your first kiss

可到现在初吻还在

By the way 19

比如我是到19岁

and Geraldine Coco wherever you are thank you

洁拉尔丁·珂珂无论此时你在哪谢谢你

Maybe you don't have any friends

或许你没有任何朋友

And guess what That's okay

其实这根本无所谓

While all the popular kids are off doing

尽管那些人缘好的孩子们都去干...

whatever I don't know what they were doing

其实我也不知道他们去干嘛了

'cause I was never there

因为我没机会去

I'll I'll tell you later

我我等会告诉你

My point is

但我的重点是

while you're spending all this time on your own

那些你独自一人度过的时间

building computers or practicing your cello

比如组装电脑或练习大提琴

what you're really doing

其实你真正在做的是

is becoming interesting

让自己变有趣

And when people finally do notice you

等有天别人终于注意到你时

they're gonna find someone a lot cooler than they thought

他们会发现一个比他们想象中更酷的人

And for those of you who were popular in high school

至于那些高中人缘好玩得开的同学

it's over sorry

好日子到头了抱歉

Thank you and congratulations

谢谢各位恭喜你们毕业

Your call is important to us

你们的来电对我们十分重要

All our technicians are busy helping other customers

目前我们所有的技术人员都在忙

Please stay on the line

请稍作等待

and someone will be with you shortly

很快就有人来为你们服务

What happened to me

我这是怎么了

When did I become an old man

我什么时候变成了老人

baffled by modern technology

被现代科技所困惑

Next thing you know

接下来

I'll be hitching my pants up to my armpits

我估计就要穿高到我腋下的高腰裤

and complaining about

然后骂骂咧咧

the awful music the kids are listening to

现在小孩听的音乐有多难听了

It is awful isn't it

的确是很难听啊对吧

Listen to that noise

你们听听这噪音

Hang on hang on

等等等等

It's working I did it

它好了我成功了

How'd you do that

你怎么做到的

No idea but I did it

不知道啊但我成功了

Maybe you shouldn't be flying it inside

不应该在室内飞吧

Well I'm not flying it

不是我控制它

Then who is

那谁在控制

I don't know

我不知道

Must be getting a WiFi signal from somewhere else

肯定是从别的地方接收到了无线信号

Initiate landing sequence Initiate landing sequence

启动降落程序启动降落程序

Hey the camera's working

摄像机也能用了呢

Oh look it's me

看是我呢

Tech support can I help you

这里是技术支持部有何能为您效劳

Yes it's a robot uprising Call the police

机器人起义了快打给警察

So you really think they liked it

你真觉得他们喜欢我的致辞吗

Oh sweetie it was the best speech I

亲爱的这是我这辈子听过最棒的...

Don't worry everyone in here is safe

不用担心我们里面的人都安然无恙