生活大爆炸-S12E07_生活大爆炸

S01

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Oh Dr Hofstadter did you have a chance

霍夫斯塔德博士你看过

Oh this is amazing

真是好啊

I wish I had a playhouse like this when I was a kid

我也希望我小时候能有这样的游戏房

Really You never had a playhouse

真的假的你小时候没有游戏房吗

No I mean my dad did buy the house next door

没有啊不过我爸爸把隔壁的房子给买了

for us to play in

让我们当游戏房

I'm gonna hook up the garden hose so it has running water

我把花园水管接来吧这样里面通水

Why does it need running water

游戏房要通水干什么啊

Same reason it's got electricity

就跟为什么里面要通电一样

Bernadette and I both work and we're overcompensating

我跟妮妮都要工作所以我们过分补偿孩子

This reminds me of a traditional Amish barn raising

这让我想起传统阿米什人的团建谷仓

With everyone pitching in

一家盖谷仓全村来帮忙

How exactly are you pitching in

那请问您在帮什么忙呢

I don't hear anyone else giving facts

在场难道有其他人在分享

about traditional Amish barn raising

有关传统阿米什人团建谷仓的知识吗

The rest of us are pitching in with hammers and nails

我们其他人的帮忙是通过拿起锤子与钉子

Well facts are my nails and my voice is the hammer

知识就是我的钉子而我的声音就是锤子

which pounds them through the wood of your skull

我的声音锤把知识钉敲进你们的木板脑

Well that is how it feels

听你说话的确是这感受呢

Hey uh can you pass me that drill

能把电钻递给我吗

Yeah fun fact about Amish barn raising

分享一个阿米什人团建谷仓有趣知识

they don't use any power tools

他们不使用任何电动工具

Amy make him stop No

-艾米快让他收了神通 -我不

If he tires himself out now he'll sleep better tonight

如果他现在就把精力耗光晚上会睡比较熟

Hey Howie can you give me a hand

华仔能进来帮我忙吗

I need to get some work done

我想完成一些工作

and the kids are climbing all over me

但孩子们一直在我身边闹腾

You know what I'll watch them

这样吧我去看孩子

You sure But I was just about to tell everyone

-你确定吗 -但我正要跟大家分享

why they're called Pennsylvania Dutch

阿米什人为何被称为"荷兰裔宾州人"

when they really hail from Germany

而不是正确的"德裔宾州人"

Yep

十分确定了

Thanks

谢谢你了

So what do you think Pretty cool huh

你觉得怎么样挺赞的吧

And when our kids outgrow it

等我们孩子长大用不上了

we can Airbnb it to other people's babies

我们可以出租给别家婴儿当民宿

Funny

好笑好笑

You all right

你还好吗

Sorry I haven't had a second to myself

抱歉前面一直忙得不可开交

So let me just go back inside finish my report

先让我回屋好好写完报告

brush my teeth change out of my pajamas make a sandwich

刷个牙换下睡衣做个三明治

and then I'll come out here and laugh at your joke

然后我再出来笑你刚才说的笑话

Ooh As long as you're making sandwiches

我老婆子有要做三明治就行

You can laugh at that one later too

这个笑话你也可以晚点再补笑

All right I've kept you in suspense long enough

好的我让你们期待公布答案够久了

"Dutch" is a bastardization of the word "Deutsch "

"荷兰的"是"德意志"这词的变异

meaning German

而这词的意思是"德国人"

What's German for "annoying"

那德语的"烦人"怎么说

Nervig Why do you ask

"恼人" 你问这个干嘛

President Siebert you wanted to see me

塞伯特校长你要见我吗

Hey There's my guy

我找的好儿郎来啦

You sound like my wife

你的语气听起来

just before she asked me to go to Coachella

好像想向我要求去科切拉音乐节的我老婆

No this is gonna be way more fun than Coachella

不我保证这比音乐节好玩多了

More fun than heatstroke Good luck

比中暑更好玩吗那你可要很"努力"

So there are some funds left in the general administrative grant

总务行政拨款的款项还有一些剩余

and I need somebody to decide how we should disburse them

我需要有一个人来帮我决定该如何分配

Really

真的吗

W Wow what an honor Thank you

深感荣幸啊谢谢校长

So how do I decide who gets the money

所以我该怎么决定将款项分配给谁呢

How do you decide anything

你平常怎么决定任何事情呢

Think about it with your brain and then say it with your mouth

用你的脑子想再用你的嘴说出口

Yeah right sure

懂了没问题

Uh so after I decide

在我做了决定之后

do I then submit it to you for approval or

我是把决定送交您审核通过还是...

No You decide you approve

不用你决定你通过

and then you pride yourself on a job well done

然后你嘉勉自己做得棒棒哒

That's a lot of responsibility

这责任十分重大啊

Well if I didn't think you were up to the task

如果不是觉得你能胜任这份工作

you wouldn't have been fifth on my list

你也不会高居我名单上的第5人选了

Thank you I I'll get started right away

谢谢那我立刻开始着手

And I look forward to hearing nothing about it

我十分期待你绝对别来汇报

I will keep you posted

我绝对会向您报告进度

Hey thank you guys again

再次谢谢你们

for helping out yesterday No problem

-昨天来我家里帮忙 -小事情

That was really fun It was fun

-昨天很有意思啊 -是很好玩

But I am sore

但我好酸痛啊

You didn't lift a finger

你昨天手指都没抬一下

No but I narrated the entire event

是没有但我为整个活动做了旁白

and I am paying for it today

而今天我就得忍受那酸痛

Gentlemen Hey

-朋友们 -你来啦

Leonard do I detect a little swagger in your step

莱纳德某人好像春风得意马蹄疾啊

Mm possibly

可能吧

Well stop It doesn't suit you

那你别这样了完全不合你的范儿

What's going on

是有什么好事

Well Siebert put me in charge of handing out

塞伯特让我负责管理

the last bit of the administrative funds

行政拨款的多余款项

and I have sole discretion

而且全凭我一人处置

Ooh Looks like Christmas came early

看来今年要提早过圣诞节啦

First thing on my list is a golden umbrella

那我要先许愿来一把黄金雨伞

'cause Leonard's gonna make it rain

因为莱纳德要给我下金钱雨啦

Uh hold on I'm not just gonna hand out money

你别着急我可不会随便就把款项给出去

There's a procedure you need to follow

是得走程序的

I believe he's referring

我相信他言下之意

to the traditional "Kissing of the buttocks "

是指必须走传统的"溜须拍马"程序

Should we form a line

那我们是排队拍马屁

or just do it like we're bobbing for apples

还是像玩咬苹果游戏一样围成一个圈

Cute but President Siebert trusted me with this

想法不错但塞伯特校长给我这份信任

and I'm taking it seriously

我也要认真看待来回报他

If you have a legitimate request

如果你们有合理正当的需求

you can submit it to me in writing

你们可以写一份报告给我

and I'll evaluate it based on its merits

我会根据利弊来评估

Sure sure Is "jet ski" one word or two

行行行请问水上摩托的"摩"字怎么写

Hofstadter

霍夫斯塔德兄

Heard Siebert put you in charge of the administrative fund

听说塞伯特让你负责管理了行政拨款

Can't think of a better guy for the job

真是想不到比你更适合的人选了

I think he's done this before

我看他应该是马屁老手了

Leonard I know you and I have a

莱纳德我知道咱俩之前

oh troubled history but I hope that when I make my request

有过节但我希望你审批我的申请时

you'll give me a fair shot

不会公报私仇

Of course

当然

See That's why I like about this guy integrity

看到没所以我才这么喜欢他铁面无私

Bring it in

来抱一个

I just put something in your pocket

我在你口袋里放了点东西

It's good at all El Pollo Locos

在所有的疯鸡墨西哥餐厅都能使用

Halley leave your brother's dirty diaper alone

哈雷别碰你弟弟的粑粑尿片

Put that down That is not a hat

放下来那不是帽子

That is not a hat Oh

那不是帽子靠

Okay Everybody in the sink

好了大家都进水槽洗澡吧

Bad news Howie

坏消息华仔

I'm gonna be stuck at work for a while

我还得加会班

Oh that's terrible Hang in there

太糟糕了加油吧

I'll be home as soon as I can

我一结束就回来

He deserves better

他值得更好的老婆

No I'm not going to reconsider

不我不会再考虑的

Your request was denied

你的申请已经被否定了

I don't care if it helps you think

我才不管那是否有助于你思考

you don't need a koi pond in your office

你的办公室里不需要修个鲤鱼池

Well you should have thought about that

你买鲤鱼前就应该

before you bought the koi

想到这个问题

Wow That was a little rough

哇你可有点凶呀

Well I have to be

我不得不凶

Everyone assumes I'm just gonna give them whatever they want

每个人都觉得我对他们会有求必应

Hmm But you're not are you

但你不是那样的人对吧

No I'm not

没错我不是

I mean look at this

你看看这申请

An espresso machine I don't think so Denied

意式咖啡机想都别想否了

Wow I really like this side of you

我还挺喜欢你这一面的

Really

真的吗

Yeah just so decisive

太杀伐果决了

Well check this out

那你瞧好了

A standing desk Denied

站立式办公桌不行

哎呀

If you want to stand

如果你想站

do it on your own time 'cause I'm the boss

自个儿找时间站去我才是老大

Yeah you are

百分百的老大

Hello Hey

-好呀 -嘿

Leonard I just wanted to congratulate you on

莱纳德我正想来恭贺你

how well you are managing this grant money What do you want

-在处理拨款上做得不错 -你想要什么

Nothing I just came by to pay you a compliment

什么都不要我只是表扬你一下

Nice try The answer's no

想得美答案是不行

To what I'm not asking you for anything

不行什么呀我什么都没找你要

All I need for my job is right here

我工作所需的东西都在这里了

This is my office Which makes for a great commute

这就是我的办公室通勤特别方便

Home work home

家工作家

I'm still working I'm just working from home

我一直在上班不过是在家上班而已

You know if it's that easy

如果真的那么简单

then why does Leonard have to drive you to work every day

为什么莱纳德每天还得载你上班呢

Because I like the frozen yogurt machine in the cafeteria

因为我喜欢学校餐厅的冻酸奶机

Ooh I suppose I could use a frozen yogurt machine

说到这里我想我可能需要个冻酸奶机...

Denied

休想

Oh you should have seen him denying things left and right

你真该看看他的样子这个不行那个不准

It was so sexy

实在太性感了

'Course I made a request he did not deny

当然我提了一个他无法拒绝的要求

Uh huh

嗯嗯

Are you listening to me

你到底听没听

Yeah sure You slept with your husband

听着呢你和你老公滚床单了

What is going on with you

你怎么了

It's not a big thing

没什么大事

Have you ever told Leonard a little white lie

你有没有对莱纳德撒过善意的谎言

Mm Well he thinks I've seen

他以为我看过

every one of the Star Wars movies

每一部《星球大战》的电影

but I've really only seen the one with the gold robot

但我只看过有金色机器人的那部

That could be any of them Exactly

-那不是每一部都有吗 -对呀

I've been telling Howie that I've had to work late

过去这几天我一直骗华仔

the past couple nights but really

说自己要加班但实际上

I've just been hiding out in Halley's playhouse

我只是躲在哈雷的游戏房里面

Does that make me awful

我是不是很坏

Awful No

坏不至于

Uh strange Yes

奇怪肯定的

Sad A little yes

可悲有一点

It's just that work's been crazy

我最近工作特别忙

and the minute I get home I have two kids hanging on me

可每次我一到家两个孩子就缠着我

and sometimes I don't want babies pulling my hair and pinching my belly fat

有时我希望孩子们别扯我头发戳我肥肚皮

That'd be a good slogan for a condom company

这对于套套公司来说真是绝好的广告词

I love my kids but that hour to myself

我爱我的孩子但属于我自己的那个小时

just makes me feel human again

能让我重新找回做人的感觉

So you go home and sit alone in a toy house in the backyard

所以你就回家独自窝在后院的游戏房里吗

Yeah

没错

to look over my proposal I did

-我的申请了吗 -我看了

and your research is fascinating

你的研究真是太有趣了

I had no idea that crows were that smart

我从不知道乌鸦有那么聪明

Do they really hold grudges

他们真的会记仇吗

They do One of them escaped

会的一年前有一只乌鸦

from my behavioral study a year ago

从我的行为研究实验中逃脱了

I can't prove it's him but something craps on my car every day

虽然没法证明是他但有只鸟天天往我车上拉屎

Well l look I only have enough money to fund one request

这笔钱只够资助一个申请

but your project is definitely in the running

但你的要求绝对名列前茅

Okay but uh when do you think you might make a decision

好吧不过你什么时候能做出决定呢

Because I have to upgrade their cages

因为我必须在它们学会开锁之前

before they learn how to open the locks

升级它们的鸟笼

When I came in to my lab this morning

我今早到达实验室时

they suddenly got silent

它们突然就不叫了

I think they're planning something

我想它们是在密谋什么

Um soon I've narrowed it down to three projects

很快就好我已经缩小到3个项目了

Ooh is mine one of them

我的也在其中吗

Actually yeah

在的

The software in the telescope room

望远镜实验室的软件

hasn't been upgraded in years

已经很多年没有更新

and it seems like it might be time

看起来也该换了

Whoa whoa whoa

哇哇哇

So you're just gonna give the money to your friend

你这是要把钱送给你朋友吗

I smell a rat

我闻到了可疑[老鼠]的味道

I work with rats too

我也研究老鼠

That might be me

你闻到的可能是我

I'm not just giving it to my friend Barry

我不会随手就把资金给我的朋友巴里

Your proposal is also in the mix

你的计划书也在考虑范围内

Wait so those are the three

等等最后三个候选人是他们吗

You're not even considering mine

你都没考虑我的计划书吗

Why because they're PhDs and I'm just an engineer

只因为他们都是大博士而我只是小工程师吗

No because they wrote detailed proposals

不是因为他们都写了详细的计划书

and you sent a YouTube clip of the guy from Jerry Maguire

而你只是发了一段网上找的《甜心先生》片段

saying "Show me the money "

内容是经典台词"让我赚大钱"

All right Hofstadter

好了霍夫斯塔德

what's it gonna be

到底给谁

Which project are you gonna pick

你要选哪个项目

Yeah come on Leonard

是啊快决定莱纳德

Tell us now But remember

-现在就告诉我们 -但你记好了

crows aren't the only ones who can hold a grudge

会记仇的可不只是乌鸦而已

Look all three of your proposals have a lot of merit

你们三位的计划书都有很多可取之处

I just want to make sure I'm making the right decision

我就是想确保我做出的是正确的选择

I can tell you're stressed

我看得出来你压力很大

If it helps I withdraw my proposal

如果能帮到你我撤回我的计划书

It doesn't help

并没帮到

Fine Then I'm back in the mix

好吧那我重新加入竞争

Show me the money

让我赚大钱

Okay I I just

好了你们...

I need everyone to back off

你们都别干涉我

I'm in charge here and I'll decide when I'm ready to decide

这事我说了算等我想好了自然会做出决定

When will that be

究竟什么时候做嘛

A day a week I don't know

一天或一周之内我不知道

Where are you going I don't know that either

-你要去哪 -我也不知道

Someone's making decisions

有人在做决定呢

I'm reviewing these proposals

我在重看这些计划书

Yeah 'Cause you're the boss man

对因为你是老大

telling people what's what

所有人都听你的

I like it

老娘喜欢

It's just so hard

可是真的好难

All all three of these proposals have merit

这三份计划书都各有千秋

How do I choose

我该怎么选择

Well not with that voice

用这娘炮声音可选不了

There has got to be a right decision

一定有基于实验证据做出的

based on empirical evidence

正确选择

Look I made pros and cons lists

我做了利弊分析表

and then I came up with three different scoring systems

然后我想出了三个不同的打分系统

to determine the best project

来决定哪个项目最优秀

I just don't know what scoring system to use

我只是不知道该用哪个打分系统

So I'm working on a meta scoring system

于是我又用一个元打分系统

to score the scoring systems

来给各个打分系统打分

but the math is really complicated

但其中的数学太复杂了

You want me to walk you through it

你想听我详细解释吗

Cheers Cheers

-干杯 -干杯

Turn that off Are you trying to get us caught

把灯关掉你想害我们被发现吗

So I've narrowed it down to three worthwhile projects

我把范围缩小到三个有价值的项目

but I only have the money to fund one of them

但我的资金只够资助其中一个

Lucky for you I have a solution

你很幸运我有解决方法了

I can't wait

等不及听你说了

You free up more money and I fund all of them

你放出更多资金我把这三个项目都资助了

Mm no

不行

Or hear me out

又或者听我说完

yes

行

That way e everybody's happy

那样一来大家都开心

You can't make everybody happy

你没法让所有人都开心

I think I can You can't

-我想我可以 -你做不到

Well actually You're making me unhappy

-事实上... -你现在就让我不开心了

Okay what would you do

换你你会怎么处理

I'd find some sap and put him in charge

我会找个倒霉鬼让他去负责

so I wouldn't have to be the bad guy

这样我就不用当坏人了

That's a really good id Oh

这主意真心机智...

Whatcha doin'

你在干什么

You scared me

你吓到我了

I'll ask again

我再问你一次

What cha doin'

你在干什么

Nothing

没什么

Really

真的吗

You and Bernadette aren't doing stuff without me

你跟伯纳黛特没有背着我偷偷聚会

What No Why would you even say that

什么才没有你怎么会这么说

You know how your talent

你知道自己喝酒很有天赋吗

is getting just drunk enough to have a good time

既能醉到可以放松享乐

without being hungover the next day

又不会第二天有宿醉

Thank you

多谢夸奖

Well mine is knowing when I'm being excluded

而我的天赋就是能察觉到自己被排挤了

So spill

快老实招来

I'm I'm just running some errands

我只是要去办事

Yeah

是吗

With a bag full of wine I

-背着一袋子的酒去吗 -我...

Got to stay hydrated

我得随时补充水分

Try again

再回答一次

Okay look I'm sorry

好了对不起嘛

We did not mean to leave you out

我们不是故意不带你玩的

All right Bernadette has been feeling fried at home

好吗伯纳黛特被家里的事压得喘不过气

so we ended up hanging out in Halley's playhouse

所以我们最后就跑到哈雷的游戏屋里聚

Like a secret club

像个秘密俱乐部那样吗

No Just like a place to spend time

不是只是一个我们去杀时间

that we don't tell anyone else about

又不告诉其他人的地方

And what would be a shorter way of saying that

那简单来说这就是什么

Secret club

秘密俱乐部

Well you really hurt my feelings

你真的伤了我的心

What can I do to make it up to you

我能做什么来弥补你

I'm in a secret club

我加入秘密俱乐部啦

Shh

嘘

Is there some sort of humiliating initiation

有没有很羞辱人的入会仪式啊

'Cause I would literally do anything

因为我什么都愿意做

Leonard you've been losing to me

莱纳德这么多年来

in three dimensional chess for many years

你每次玩3D象棋都输给我

You know what would be neat

你知道什么会很酷吗

If this was some sort of long con

就是这其实是你放长线钓大鱼

and one day you say "Let's make this interesting "

有一天你突然说 "我们把游戏变得有趣吧"

put money on it and reveal

我们来赌钱结果发现

that you actually know what you're doing

你原来很擅长玩这个游戏

A very long con indeed

这线确实放得很长

Checkmate

将军

Sorry I'm distracted

抱歉我心里有点事

Ooh aren't you the hustler

你可真是布线能手呢

No matter who I give the funds to

不管我把款项给谁

someone is gonna be upset with me

都会有人生我的气

Do you really care if people are angry at you

你真的在乎别人生你的气吗

Of course Interesting

-当然了 -有意思

Why don't you go to the store and get me some tapioca pudding

那你快去商店给我买木薯布丁回来

or I'm gonna be angry at you

不然人家要生你的气啦

不去

So it comes and goes

所以你这也没个准数

How do you not care what people think of you

你怎么能不在乎别人是怎么看你的呢

It's easy

很简单

I mean not "beating you at chess" easy

虽然没到"下象棋赢你"那么简单

but what is

但何事能简单过赢你呢

Wait

等等

you can make this decision

这个决定可以由你来做

You don't care if you upset people

你不在乎会不会惹毛别人

You can pick for me

你可以替我选

I certainly could

我当然可以

Oh great But I won't

-太好了 -但我不会选的

I think this is a learning opportunity for you

我认为这是让你学习的好机会

Sheldon come on

谢尔顿不是吧

Oh I'm sorry Did I upset you

抱歉我让你不开心了吗

Yes Ask me how I feel about that

-对 -问问我对此有什么感受

So where does Leonard think you are

莱纳德以为你现在在哪

Oh I told him I was at yoga

我跟他说我去练瑜伽了

Well you are stretching the truth

你确实是在"扭曲"真相

Yeah Where does Sheldon think you are

是啦那谢尔顿以为你在哪儿

Oh Sheldon's kind of like a dog

谢尔顿这点比较像狗狗

he doesn't really think about me when I'm gone

我不在的时候他不会想我去哪里了

but he's so happy when I show up

反正只要我一出现他就会超开心

Who wants an Easy Bake quesadilla

谁想吃刚出简易烤炉的烤饼

我

Ooh hot

好烫

Shh Thanks for letting me come over and hang

谢谢你让我过来玩

So Leonard still hasn't made a decision yet

莱纳德还没做决定吗

没有

And I've really been laying on the guilt

但我一直在猛激发他的内疚感

Did you break out the sad eyes

使出你的悲伤双眼大法了吗

You mean these bad boys

你指的是这对宝贝儿吗

What do we do

我们怎么办

We're just gonna have to wait till they go back inside

只能等到他们回屋里

Okay okay Can we very quietly

好的我们能不能非常安静地

open that second bottle of

打开第二瓶红...

Hey don't freak out

你先别慌

but I think there's someone in your playhouse

我觉得你家的游戏房里有人

Oh Yeah that's just Bernadette

没事只是伯纳黛特而已

She's been hiding out in there all week

她已经在里面躲了一周了

Really Why

真的吗为什么

I don't know

说不好

She's been a little overwhelmed at work

她工作压力挺大的

And frankly me and the kids are a lot

而且说实话我和孩子们也让她很辛苦

She just needs some downtime

她只是需要自己的时间静静

And you just pretend like you don't know

你就假装你不知道吗

Sure That's how marriage works

当然这就是婚姻成功的秘籍

Three years ago

三年前

I told her I got life insurance

我告诉她我买了人寿保险

and I totally didn't

其实我根本没买

Someday she's gonna find out I'm gonna say

总有一天她会发现到时我就能说

"Ha ha I know you've been hiding in the playhouse "

"别以为我不知道你在游戏房里躲过"

Why don't you just get the life insurance

你为什么就不把人寿保险买了呢

Whose side are you on

你到底是站哪边的

Can you hear what they're saying

能听见他们在说什么吗

Shh I'm trying

嘘我听着呢

Sounds like Penny's in there too

看来佩妮也来了

Seriously Leonard you didn't pick my project

你是认真的吗莱纳德居然不选我的项目

I'm sorry Raj

对不起拉杰

Did you go with Crow Lady No

-你选了乌鸦夫人 -没有

You gave the money to Kripke

你把钱给了克里普奇

I did not

并没有

Wait I'm confused

等等我不明白了

I thought there were only three projects in contention

我以为只有这三个项目待选了

There were But at the last minute

本来是的但在最后的时刻

someone submitted an application

有人提交了一份申请

for a pretty cool europium doped laser

要采购特别酷的掺铕激光器

and they made a very compelling case

而且理由特别令人信服

What was the case

什么理由

Oh that it was me and I wanted it

理由就是我我想要

You you can't do that

你不能这么做

You can't just fund your own project

你不能只拨款给自己的项目

Uh it turns out I can and I did

可结果是我可以就这么做了

Interesting

有意思

What about not wanting everybody to be mad at you

你不是不愿意让别人生你的气吗

Well I realized that no matter what decision I made

我意识到无论做什么决定

people were gonna be mad at me

都会有人生我的气

And this way I get a laser

而这样起码我还能得个激光器

That is the most selfish thing you've ever done

这是你做过最自私的事了

I'm proud of you

为你骄傲

And I don't care Yes you do

-我不在乎 -不你在乎

Yeah I do

是啦我在乎

The europium laser is so cool

这个掺铕激光器太酷了

It has a four level f f transition

有4级f-f变换

which provides for high power output

支持高功率输出

and its quantum efficiency is off the charts

量子效率简直突破天际

What are you going to use it for

你准备用它做什么

I have no idea

完全不知道

Leonard

莱纳德

there's a crow on your roof

你的车顶有只乌鸦

I see it

我看见了

Is that one of Dr Lee's crows

是李博士的乌鸦吗

It has a tag on its leg

它腿上有标

Don't make any sudden moves

千万别轻举妄动

Smart Let's stand perfectly still and

明智我们一动不动地站着然后...

He's the one you want

你们要找的是他