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第三季第十七集
生活大爆炸
Why do I always have to carry the heavy stuff
为什么我总是出力
Well it's very simple
很简单啊
In our ragtag band of scientists with nothing to lose
在我们这群一无所有的破烂科学家当中
I'm the smart one
我负责动脑子
Wolowitz is the funny one
沃罗威茨负责搞笑
and Koothrappali is the lovable foreigner
库萨帕里是一个奋力想要融入我们的生活
who struggles to understand our ways and fails
但是以失败告终的可爱的老外
That leaves you by default as the muscle
你别无选择 只有肌肉男了
One more floor and I'd be the pulled muscle
再多搬一层 我就肌肉难了
Oh it's about time I'm starving
来的正好 我要饿死了
Um well we didn't actually get Chinese food
这个 其实我们没带中国菜回来
Why not Don't panic This is better
-为什么啊 -淡定 这个更赞
Oh no You didn't trade the food for magic beans did you
不是吧 你们不会用食物换了魔豆吧
Of course not
当然没有
And technically magic beans would be food
况且严格来说 魔豆也是食物
Although eating them would be quite a waste
虽然吃了它们怪浪费的
since you could plant them
因为你可以种植它们
and overnight have a giant beanstalk
然后一夜之间 就会长成一株巨大的豆茎
which would provide enough roughage for a small city
足够一个小城市吃的
Yeah sometimes I don't listen
其实有时候我根本没听你说话
Sometimes I just watch your jaw go up and down
只是看着你的下巴一上一下
We were on our way to the Chinese restaurant
我们去中餐馆的路上
when we thought we saw Adam West
貌似看见了亚当·韦斯特
(亚当·韦斯特:《蝙蝠侠》的扮演者)
so we followed him
所以我们就跟着他走
Who's Adam West
谁是亚当·韦斯特
Who's Adam West
谁是亚当·韦斯特
Leonard what do the two of you talk about after the coitus
莱纳德 你们性交之后都聊些什么啊
My guess is "Hey four minutes New record "
我猜是 "哇塞 4分钟 新纪录啊"
That's why I'm the funny one
所以我才负责搞笑啊
Anyway we followed the guy to this garage sale
反正呢 我们跟着他到了旧货出售摊儿
and they had the coolest stuff
那卖的东西都超赞
They were closing up
他们正好关门大甩卖
We got this whole box for 60 bucks
这一箱子东西才60块
We didn't even get to go through it all
我们还没来得及看清都有什么呢
There could be anything in here
说不定有什么宝贝呢
There a new girlfriend in there 'Cause you might need one
看看有没有新女朋友 说不定你需要一个
No
没有
But there is an original final draft Ghostbusters script
不过有《捉鬼敢死队》的原版终稿
with actual slime stains
上面真的有黏液的污迹哎
Oh you're right
你说得对
It's Ghostbusters 2
这个是《捉鬼敢死队2》
Never mind
没看头
Oh my God
我滴神啊
An Alf doll
是阿福娃娃
When I was 11 my mother got me one
我11岁时 我妈在我爸去世后
to help me sleep after my dad left
给我买了一个 让我能睡好觉
I used to pretend that my dad had moved to the planet Melmac
我那时候会假装 爸爸是去了蜜胺树脂星球
and Alf was going to bring him back to me
而阿福会把他带回我身边的
But he never did
但它从来也没有
Where's my daddy puppet
我爸爸在哪儿 小玩偶
Where is he
他在哪儿
That is so sad
太伤感了
No what's sad is that you don't know
不 更伤感的是你居然不知道
Adam West was TV's Batman
亚当·韦斯特是电视版蝙蝠侠的扮演者
Here's Spock's head with no body
史波克的脑袋(波克:《星际迷航》中的人物)
Here's Mr T's body with no head
T先生的身子(Mr.T:《星际迷航》中的人物)
Oh yeah here's Spock's body with Mr T's head
啊在这儿 史波克的身子配T先生的脑袋
I pity the fool who's illogical
我同情那些没有逻辑的傻瓜
Okay I'm just gonna go home
好吧 我要回家了
and make a grilled cheese and window shop on eHarmony
做一个烤干酪 然后上eHarmony 意淫去
(eHarmony:美国线上交友网站)
Okay bye
好的 拜拜
Okay
妥了
Ooh look an Indiana Jones connect the dots
哇塞 快看 《夺宝奇兵》的连连看
And an Aquaman action figure
还有潜水侠的手办
Looks like someone drew a penis on him
好像有人给他画了个小弟弟
Ooh that'll come off
没事儿 看我擦掉
You see what you're doing
我们都看不下去了喂
Stop that
停下
Fascinating
真赞啊
What
什么东西
It appears to be a Lord of the Rings ring
是《魔戒》里的魔戒
Oh It's even got
上面居然还刻着
the Elvish engraving on it
精灵语呢
It's not Elvish
不是精灵语
It's the language of Mordor written in Elvish script
是用精灵语的字母写的魔多语
"One Ring to rule them all "
"魔戒全属至尊御"
(出自《魔戒》台词)
"One Ring to find them "
"至尊指引诸魔戒"
"One Ring to bring them all "
"至尊魔戒唤众戒"
"And in the darkness bind them "
"众戒归一黑暗中"
Holy crap are we nerdy
我靠 咱们好宅啊
So I was doing some checking on the ring
我调查了一下这个魔戒
Hold on Sheldon is there ketchup on that table
等下 谢尔顿 那边桌子上的是番茄酱吗
Yes there is
是滴
Oh here's a fun fact Ketchup started out as a general term for sauce
有个好玩的事儿 起初 番茄酱是酱汁的总称
typically made of mushrooms or fish brine with herbs and spices
特别是那些加了草本植物和香料的 蘑菇或腌鱼
Some popular early main ingredients included blueberry
早期流行的主材料包括蓝莓
anchovy oyster kidney bean and grape
凤尾鱼 牡蛎 四季豆 还有葡萄
No that's okay I'll get it
没事儿 我去拿
Listen I was looking at the ring and it seemed a little weird
听我说 我仔细观察了魔戒 看上去有点奇怪
No copyright notice on it
上面竟然没有版权声明
So I took it down to this buddy of mine who deals with
所以我就拿给我一个哥们儿看 这么说吧
shall we say the seedy underbelly of the collectibles world
他专门和收藏界的黑市 做交易
Seedy underbelly
黑市
You know your black market phasers
你那个黑市淘来的手提式相位枪
(出自《星际迷航》)
your screen worn Lieutenant Uhura panties
还有乌拉中尉在电影中穿过的内裤
that kind of stuff
就那些东西呗
Who's this mysterious buddy you suddenly have
你这个神秘兄弟是谁
Just a guy I know a guy
就是我认识的一个家伙
Is it Eddie Crispo No I can't tell you who it is Stop asking
-艾迪·克里斯波吗 -我不能告诉你 别问了
Who else could it be It has to be Eddie Crispo
还能是谁 肯定是艾迪·克里斯波
I know lots of dangerous people okay
我认识很多黑道人物 好不好
Name one Eddie Crispo
-说一个 -艾迪·克里斯波
Anyway he said this isn't a replica It's the real deal
不管怎样 他说这个不是仿品 而是真品
If you're suggesting that that is the actual ring of power
如果你说这就是索伦在末日火山
forged by Sauron in Mount Doom
打造的至尊魔戒[指环王情节]
I look at you with an expression of exhaustion
我会用极为不屑和
and ever so slight amusement
嘲笑的表情看着你
He's not saying it's a magic ring
他不是说这是魔戒
You're not are you
对吧
No but it's close
没错 但差不多
Look at the markings inside
看里面的标记
Those are production markings
那是生产标记
Nine rings were made for use in the Lord of the Rings movies
为拍摄《指环王》 共打造了九枚戒指
Three were given to members of the cast
三枚送给了剧中演员
The rest were destroyed
剩下的都被销毁了
Except one
除了一枚
One was stolen
被偷的一枚
Gentlemen
先生们
this is the one ring
这就是至尊魔戒
Mine
归我了
No it is not yours
不 不是你的
We all went in on the box together
我们一起去要的箱子
Well yes but I found it in the box
对 但是我在箱子里找到的
and the laws of maritime salvage clearly state
海难救助法明确规定
that the finder of a sunken treasure
找到沉海宝藏的人
is the owner of the treasure
即视为宝藏的主人
How is this maritime salvage
这怎么符合海难救助法
Other than the lack of water how is it not
除了没有水 怎么不符合
Wait wait Sheldon stop being crazy for a second
等等 谢尔顿 先别发疯
How much is something like this worth
这种东西值多少钱
Well it's tough to say since it's hot
这么抢手的东西很难估价
but on the underground market my guy figures
不过在黑市里 我朋友估价
Your guy Eddie Crispo
你是指艾迪·克里斯波吧
Yes
是滴
He figures ten maybe 15 thousand
他估价一万到一万五
Okay that's a lot of money
既然值这么多钱
The wise thing to do is invest it in something practical
明智之举是用它投资更实用的东西
Like a jet ski
比如水上摩托艇
Why do you want a jet ski
你要摩托艇干嘛
All the wealthy and beautiful people in movies ride Jet Skis
电影里有钱又帅的人都骑摩托艇
That can't just be a coincidence
这不可能是巧合
We can't sell it
我们不能卖它
We have to keep it
要保存它
and love it and polish it
珍惜它 爱护它
and only take it out occasionally
只能偶尔拿出来
when we go to the park
去公园里
and reenact our favorite scenes from the movies
重演电影里喜欢的场景
It's sad how great that sounds
听着有意思 其实很无聊
Guys it's stolen
各位 这是偷来的
It should go back to Peter Jackson
应该还给彼得·杰克逊[指环王导演]
He made the movies it belongs to him
他制作的电影 魔戒应该属于他
Fine
行啊
He can have it back as long as he promises
可以换给他 只要他答应
to make me a hobbit in his next movie
让我演下一部电影里的霍比特人
There are no Jewish hobbits
没有犹太霍比特人
Clearly you've never been to my house
显然你没在岁首节[犹太新年]
for dinner on Rosh Hashanah
来我家吃饭
We are not blackmailing Peter J
我们不能敲诈彼得·杰
All right where's the ring
够了 魔戒哪去了
You mean my ring
你是说我的魔戒吗
What are you doing
你这是干嘛
The ring was unguarded
魔戒无人看护
It was just sitting on the table
就这么放着台面
Anyone could have taken it
谁都能拿走
Proof I did
证据 我拿了
Give me that Look let's be reasonable
-给我 -大家理智点
We all want to do different things with the ring
我们都对魔戒抱有不同的想法
but your ideas are stupid and I want a jet ski
但你们的想法太傻 我要的可是摩托艇
I found it The ring is mine
我找到的 魔戒是我的
I don't understand why in this group I never get my way
我不明白 为啥每次都不能我说了算
You always get your way
有哪次不是你说了算
I'll stipulate to that if you give me the ring
你把魔戒给我 才是每次我说了算
Hey guys
各位
Enjoying your food that I actually
喜欢我给你们上的
brought you instead of promising food
不是你们点的菜
but bringing you a box of random crap
是我随意找的一堆垃圾
Yeah it's delicious
很好吃
The sarcasm's a little stale though
就是讽刺的话不太新鲜
Hey how about this
要不这样吧
Until we figure out what to do with the ring
确定如何处理魔戒前
Penny holds on to it
由佩妮来保管
What ring
什么戒指
This ring
这枚戒指
Looking for something
在找东西吗
Will you hold on to this for a couple of days
你能保管几天吗
Why It's a prop from a movie
-为什么 -这是部电影的道具
And we're kind of fighting over it
我们正为此争吵呢
Okay just to be clear the first piece of jewelry
只想说清楚 我男朋友给我的
my boyfriend gives me is a prop from a movie
第一件珠宝是电影里的道具
and I don't even get to keep it
而且我还不能拥有它
If you had gone out with me three years ago
如果你三年前跟了我
by now you'd have my great Aunt Ida's brooch
你现在应该能收到我姑婆艾达
that she smuggled out of occupied Belgium in a cat
塞进猫肚子从德占比利时偷运出的胸针
How am I looking now
现在感觉我还好吧
You hit me
你打我
I'm bleeding
我在流血
What was that
什么情况
Sheldon tried to take the ring and I punched him
谢尔顿想偷魔戒 我给了他一拳
That's my girl
干得好
So Sheldon
谢尔顿啊
how's it feel to get beaten up by a girl
被一个女人家揍的感觉如何
It's not the first time
反正不是第一次了
I have a twin sister whose assaults began in utero
在子宫里我那胞姐就开始欺负我
If only I'd had the presence of mind to reabsorb her
如果当年我能一直坚定的吸收掉她
then I'd have a mole with hair in it
我也就多了一颗长毛的痣
instead of a tedious yearly Christmas letter
这样也不会收到那些无聊的圣诞贺卡了
Gentlemen have you come to the realization
先生们 你们还没有觉悟吗
that the only reasonable course of action
最明智的选择
is to sell the ring and divide the money
就是卖了魔戒再分钱
No
没门
I was afraid of that
我就怕你这么说
Go ahead
说吧
Greetings from Mumbai
在孟买问候大家
I am Raj's attorney Venkatesh Koothrappali
我是拉杰的律师 文卡塔斯·库萨帕里
Also my cousin
也是我表哥
You brought a lawyer
你居然还找了个律师
Don't answer that
这个不用回答
I'll get straight to the point
我就直说了
My client's prepared to surrender
我的委托人准备放弃
any interest he has in the ring
他在这枚魔戒上的一切利益
in exchange for two Kawasaki Jet Skis
来交换两辆川崎水上摩托
We're not giving him two Jet Skis
两辆水上摩托是不可能的
Look we're big boys
听着 大家都成年人了
why don't we just cut to the chase and meet in the middle
我们何不都退一步海阔天空呢
One Kawasaki Jet Ski Done and done
一辆水上摩托就够了 怎么样
No Jet Skis
半辆都不给
All right forget the Jet Skis
好吧 不谈水上摩托了
Forget the Jet Skis That was our line in the sand
你说什么 这是我们的底线
What happened to "tear them a new one "
你就这点招数吗
What can I say They played hardball We lost
那你要我怎样 他们态度强硬 我们输了
You're useless
你这没用的东西
I told you that when you hired me
你来雇我时我就说了
I'm signing off now
我要下线了
Call your mother She worries
记得联系你妈 她担心你呢
Okay just so you know if we're bringing in cousins who are lawyers
知道吗 向别人介绍自己的律师表兄时
prepare for shock and awe
要准备好被雷
You know what I am ending this
告诉你们 我来了结这件事
Penny didn't want to hold the ring anymore
佩妮不想再保管魔戒
She gave it to me I have it I'm sending it back
她还给了我 现在我手上 我要寄回去
Where's the ring
魔戒呢
You mean this ring
你是指这个魔戒吗
Next time be aware of your surroundings
下次在公共厕所里排尿
while urinating in a public men's room
记得要耳听八方环顾四周
Give me that
快给我
No it's mine
才不 这是我的
It's all of ours
我们都有份
Okay now this is ridiculous Then let go
-得了 这也太荒唐了 -那就放手
I'm not letting go You let go
偏不 你干嘛不放手
I say this ring belongs
要我说 谁坚持到最后
to the last person who can hold on
魔戒就归谁
Fine But can't we go home and start this
行啊 我们回家再开始吗
Sure Let go of the ring
当然 那现在先放手
All right it starts now
好吧 那就从现在开始
You do realize there's a giant bug movie marathon
今晚科幻频道有巨虫电影联播
tonight on the Syfy Channel
你们都还记得吧
Wait my laptop
慢 我的笔记本还没拿
You know there's a point no when this becomes idiotic
这也太白痴了 一点也没意义了
And it wasn't when we were driving like this
刚我们这样开车的时候你咋不说
I would advise the three of you
我好心建议你们三个放弃吧
that resistance is futile
再怎么死撑也是徒劳
I have endless patience
我的耐性可是出了名的好
I once spent two and a half hours on hold
我曾和惠普的客服人员
with Hewlett Packard customer service
耗了整整两个半小时
just to complain about their customer service
就为投诉他们客服态度差劲
You want to talk about endless patience
你少和我吹嘘耐性
Penny made me watch all five seasons
佩妮逼我看完了整整
of Sex and the City
五季的《欲望都市》
There are six seasons dude
老兄 那玩意有六季
Oh crap
噢 杯具
No no no the sixth season is great
别这么说嘛 第六季很赞啊
We go to Paris with Carrie and get our heart broken
凯莉刚分手 伤心地去了巴黎
and then Mr Big shows up
而大人物又突然出现
we don't know if we can trust him again
我们都很好奇 她是否还能再相信他
It's a wild ride
真是跨越地球的爱恋啊
Door
我要开门
Okay everybody and plie
同志们 屈膝[法语 芭蕾舞动作]
And releve
再踮立[法语 芭蕾舞动作]
Whatcha doin'
你们干什么呢
Last one holding the ring decides its fate
谁坚持到最后 魔戒归谁
I know it sounds silly
我知道这很蠢
No no no no no you are my boyfriend
才不会呢 你是我男友啊
Nothing you do is silly to me
情人眼里出西施嘛
Thank you
多谢
FYI this is a bag from Victoria's Secret
顺便说下 这可是维多利亚的秘密内衣
I'm out
老子不干了
I'm sorry Ma
抱歉 老妈
I have to stay late at the office
没办法 我要在办公室加班
No he's doesn't He's lying to you
才没有 他在骗你
Will you be quiet
你就不能消停点吗
Well if you want privacy let go of the ring
要隐私的话 放开手就行了啊
I'm so glad
真开心
we came to this gentile strip club
终于能来这家异教徒的脱衣舞俱乐部
Howard
霍华德
here's more bacon to tuck into the shiksa's G string
再给你个培根 塞她们丁字裤里去
I'll call you back
我再打给你
I think it's lovely you call your mommy
你实在太贴心了 还特地打电话
and let her know you're going to be late for dinner
告诉你妈 你赶不回去吃晚饭
From what I know about these things
据我所知
if a woman doesn't breast feed on time
没能按时喂奶的女人
it's very uncomfortable for her boobies
咪咪会很不舒服的
Don't you talk about my mother's boobies
别跟我谈我妈的咪咪
If you're offended let go of the ring
听着不爽的话 放手啊
and go on home to your mother's boobies
赶紧回家找你妈吃奶去
Excellent excellent
太好了 太好了
Tire each other out the ring will be mine
你们俩耗吧 我就能笑到最后
Howard why don't you go after Raj's mother
霍华德 何不谈谈拉杰他妈
Why don't we go after your mother
不然咱谈谈你妈
Go ahead
尽管谈
I have no illusions about my mother
我又没有恋母情结
She is a kind loving
她就一个和蔼可亲
religiously fanatical right wing Texan
笃信上帝 极端右翼的德州人
with a slightly out of scale head
头长得有点不合比例
and a mild Dr Pepper addiction
还对佩珀汽水有点上瘾
Anything you'd like to add
还有什么要补充的吗
That's not gonna get you anywhere
这样说根本没用
Better pull out the big gun
得给他来点狠的
You're right
说得对
Let's talk about your grandmother
咱来谈谈你祖母
No
不要
I call no Meemaws
不许说我奶奶
Think about this
想想看
The only way your mother was born was your Meemaw had sex
你奶奶肯定得跟人上床 才会有你妈
I don't want to hear this
我不想听这些
Then let go of the ring and walk away
那就放手 走一边去
Never
想都别想
All right
好吧
I'll bet your Meemaw
我敢说 你奶奶
didn't just have sex to have your mother
不仅仅是为了传宗接代才跟人上床的
I bet she had sex because she liked it
我敢说 她肯定也享受性爱
Stop it
别说了
Yeah Meemaw did the nasty
对 奶奶也并不圣洁
I said stop it
我叫你们闭嘴
We're getting to him
说到他痛处了
Waterfalls
瀑布
What
什么
Waterfalls
瀑布
Crashing waves
惊涛拍岸
Babbling brooks
潺潺溪流
What are you doing
你这是干嘛
Subliminal messaging
潜意识信息
I'm going to make you want to pee
通过这让你们产生尿意
Dripping faucets
滴水的水龙头
Leaky gutter
漏水的水槽
Peeing
尿尿
It's it's not working dude
这招根本不管用 伙计
Oh ho ho it's working all right
已经管用了
I have to pee
我想上厕所
Then let go of the ring and go
那就放开魔戒去啊
No actually I wouldn't mind going too
其实 我也想上了
Fine
好吧
Um on the count of three
数到三
One two
一 二
Wait just to clarify
等等 先说清楚
When you get to three do we stand up or do we pee
数到三 是都站起来还是直接尿尿
We stand up
都站起来
Excellent choice
明智之选
Three
Something tells me
我有预感
this was a bad day to wear suede shoes
今天真不该穿绒面革皮鞋的
I've done it
我做到了
I've won
我赢了
The ring is mine
魔戒是我的了
It's mine
是我的了
We're going to clean it up and make it pretty
得彻底清洗下 让它更漂亮
My own
是我的
My love
我亲爱的
(谢尔顿华丽变身《魔戒》中的咕噜[Gollum])
My precious
我的宝贝
Where's the ring
魔戒呢
It's in a FedEx box on its way back to where it came from
在联邦快递的盒子里 回它原来的地方去了
(索伦在末日山的火焰中铸造了至尊魔戒)
The fires of Mount Doom
末日山的火焰之中
Peter Jackson's office in New Zealand
彼得·杰克逊(《魔戒》导演)在新西兰的办公室
It wasn't ours
本就不是我们的
You quit the game
你早就退出了比赛
You had no right to take it
根本没资格拿走魔戒
I came in here you guys were all sleeping
我走进来的时候 你们都睡着了
The ring was on the floor No one was touching it
魔戒掉在地板上 没人拿着
Well so then we start the game over until there's a winner
那就该重新开始 直到产生最后的赢家
There wasn't ever going to be a winner
根本不会有什么赢家
There was going to be a selfish petty person with a ring
只会有一个手握魔戒的自私鬼
and three people who used to be his friend
和三个反目的好友
Is that really what you guys want
你们真想这样吗
'Cause if it is fine
真想的话 随便吧
I don't want anything to do with you
我跟你们也没什么好说的了
And I don't know what happened in that bathroom
还有 厕所里怎么回事我不知道
but I am not cleaning it up
但我才不会去清理
My precious
我的宝贝
I knew it
我就知道
Give us the precious
把宝贝还我们
Give me Give me Get off of me
-快给我 快给我 -放开我
Give me the ring It's mine
-把魔戒给我 -魔戒是我的
Ugh gotta go back to dating dumb guys from the gym
真该跟健身房那笨蛋约会看看的
Just give me the ring
把魔戒给我
Give it to me
把魔戒给我
Give me the ring
把魔戒给我
I said give it to me
我让你给我
It's mine
魔戒是我的