小谢尔顿-S02E06_小谢尔顿

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Nobody else is stronger than I am

世上没人比我强壮

Yesterday I moved a mountain

昨天我移了一座山

I bet I could be your hero

我相信我能当你的英雄

I am a mighty little man

我是个了不起的小家伙

I am a mighty little man

我是个了不起的小家伙

晚间新闻

女生厕所

弗雷德·墨菲不动产

见鬼了之屋

吉恩伦迪出品

见鬼了之屋

吉恩·伦迪的见鬼了之屋

美国天文学家

With us tonight is Pastor Jeff Difford

今晚的嘉宾是杰夫·迪佛德牧师

from the First Baptist Church of Medford.

来自梅德福第一浸信会教堂

Thank you for being here Pastor.

感谢您来本节目牧师

My pleasure.

我的荣幸

So it would appear that your church's

根据情报您教堂的

Halloween Hell House has stirred up

万圣节地狱之家

quite a bit of controversy this year.

在今年引起了不小的争议

Oh I wouldn't call it controversy.

我觉得不算是起争议啦

What would you call it

那您觉得是什么

A As you know

如您所知

the purpose of a Hell House is to demonstrate the wages of sin

布置地狱之家的目的是为了展示罪恶的报应

so as to lead people back to God.

好引导人们回到上帝的怀中

That's wonderful.

那真是太好了

But doesn't it concern you that a lot of parents were alarmed

但您难道不担心很多孩子家长对于

at the gruesome scenes you portrayed

你们演绎出来的可怕场景感到十分担忧吗

Once again our intentions were pure.

再次说明我们的出发点是很单纯的

Why don't we take a look at just how pure they were.

要不我们来看看这出发点到底有多纯吧

Let's roll the clip.

请放出影片

Oh boy.

要命了

I need another beer.

我要再喝一杯

Oh darling don't you think you've had enough

亲爱的你喝得还不够多吗

I'll tell you when I had enough ‭

老子跟你说喝够的时候才喝够

Whoa Hey cowboy

这位兄台

why don't you put that down and call it a night.

把手里的兵器放下大家各回各家吧

Don't you tell me what to do.

老子的事不用你多嘴

That's enough Peg.

够了佩佩

Dear Lord.

我的老天爷啊

As you can see our last attempt at a Hell House

你也看到了我们上一次的地狱之家

may have been a tad... traumatizing.

可能有点过于让人有心理阴影了

I thought it was a hoot.

我觉得可精彩了

Some of the little ones peed their pants.

有几个小孩都吓尿了

But that wasn't the goal.

但我们的目的不是吓人

A nine year old crapped himself.

有个9岁还是还吓"屎"了

Why are you showing me this

你为什么要放这个给我看

Well Mary this year we'd like to go

玛丽今年呢我们想要尝试

with a more family friendly production.

制作成一个更适合阖家莅临的活动

And I thought you'd be the perfect person to head that up.

我觉得你是带领这计划的最佳人选

Really Me

真的吗我吗

Yes you. Absolutely.

是的就是你毋庸置疑

Gosh I don't know.

天啊我不知道了

I always felt I had a flair for the creative arts

我的确是一直对创造艺术有兴趣

but putting on a big show like that...

但制作一出这么大的演出...

You'll have a sizable budget and all the help you'll need

制作预算可观而且你可以得到一切帮助

constructing sets building props

无论是建造舞台制作道具

special effects makeup.

特殊效果妆发

Does sound tempting.

听起来很吸引人啊

But most importantly

但最重要的是

you'll have an opportunity to bring people to God

你会有机会带领人们走向神的怀抱中

by vividly demonstrating the perils of sin.

全凭着鲜活展示罪的险恶

Be careful if you touch on adultery.

如果要演绎通奸你可得小心

Last year one of the actors got pregnant.

去年有一个演员因此怀孕了

Thanks Peg.

谢谢你啊佩佩

So what do you say

你意下如何

I already know the first change I'm gonna make.

我已经知道我要做的第一项改变是什么了

Instead of calling it "Hell House "

今年不叫"地狱之家"

which is a little off putting

毕竟这有点令人不喜

I'm gonna call it...

我要把它改名为

"Heck House."

"见鬼了之屋"

Isn't that great

是不是很棒啊

That is great.

很棒很棒

You don't really mean that.

你这话才不是真心的

Yes I do.

当然是真心的

Oh I get it.

我懂了

Happy wife happy life.

老婆快乐生活快乐

You need to stop talking.

你还是给我闭上嘴巴吧

So it's not gonna be scary

所以今年就不会恐怖了吗

It will but without all the blood and gore.

还是会有一点只是不会那么血腥暴力

But I like blood and gore.

可是我就喜欢血腥暴力啊

Hang on y'all are trying to scare people

等等你们想靠吓唬的手段

into joining the church

来让人加入教会吗

Yeah. But people like

是啊但反正大家都喜欢

getting scared on Halloween anyway.

在万圣节被人吓啊

Why not make 'em jump in the right direction

把他们吓到正确的道路上何乐而不为

Actually fear has been a recruiting tactic

其实恐惧的确是有组织宗教

used by organized religion for centuries.

几百年来吸纳教徒的工具之一

When you add guilt to keep people in line

如果再加上罪恶感来让教徒守规矩

it's an extremely efficient form of crowd control.

它就成为了效果卓越的群体管控手段

Our religion is based on love Sheldon not fear.

谢尔顿我们的宗教靠的是爱不是恐惧

So what happens when people don't follow the rules

那当人们不守教规时会发生什么事呢

They burn in hell.

他们会下地狱被火烧

Because God loves 'em.

因为神爱他们啊

Sheldon.

谢尔顿

Oh. Hi Georgie.

你好啊小乔治

Why was Veronica Duncan hugging you

为什么维罗妮卡·邓肯抱了你

I'm tutoring her in trigonometry.

因为我在帮她补习数学的三角法

And that gets you hugs

这样就能赚到抱抱了吗

Thanks to me she got her first C minus.

多亏了我她第一次得到了C-

Just between us she's a little slow.

你别告诉别人但她脑子转速有点慢

That's not what I heard.

我听说的可不是这样

What did you hear

那你听说的是什么

Is she secretly clever

她聪明地很隐秘吗

Because if she is I completely missed it.

如果真是这样那我完全没发现到

It doesn't matter.

这不是重点

You just need to introduce me to her.

我只要你把我介绍给她认识

Why

为什么

I want to be her friend.

我想跟她交朋友

Well you better take a number.

那你最好先去领个号码牌

She's friends with a lot of boys around here.

她跟学校里很多男生都是好朋友

Let me worry about that. You just need to introduce us.

这让我来烦恼你负责牵线就行了

All right.

行吧

You know she pays me two dollars for every one of our tutoring lessons.

我给她上的每堂课她都付我2块钱呢

How much did it cost her to get a C minus

那她花了多少钱才得到这个C-

$26.

26块

That's a good deal.

那很划算啊

Now remember next week we start our work

大家记得啊下周我们就开始排

on Streetcar Named Desire.

《欲望号街车》

So please prepare a monologue for either Blanche or Stanley.

请自行准备好一段男主角或女主角的独白

Usually the girls do Blanche and the boys do Stanley

通常女生演女主白兰芝男生演男主斯坦利

but no judgment you follow your heart.

但你们凭自己本心选吧我不歧视

Thank you again for letting me come by to pick your brain.

谢谢你再次让我来跟你请教事情

Oh please. Anything for the church.

别客气给教堂帮忙我在所不辞

Are you a religious man

你信教吗

I'm an actor.

我是个演员

I'm whatever you need me to be.

你需要什么我就能变成什么

All right.

好吧

As I told you on the phone

如同我在电话上跟你说过的

I have been tasked

我被任命去负责

with mounting this year's Halloween production.

今年的万圣节戏剧总策划

Oh is that a haunted house kind of deal

是搞鬼屋之类的东西吗

Yes but with the goal of bringing people to God.

是但是目的是要带领人们走向上帝

I do know something about that.

这方面我还真有些了解

When I played Puck in Midsummer

在我演出《仲夏夜之梦》的帕克时

the Tulsa Herald called my performance heavenly.

《塔尔萨前锋报》称赞我的表演如天堂一般

Wow Good for you.

那你很厉害啊

Thank you thank you. ‭

谢谢谢谢

Okay. Um I was hoping

好的我是在想

to put on a little play in each of the rooms

在每间房间里都上演不同的小短剧

that portrays one of the seven deadly sins.

一间房间对应七宗罪中的一件

Pride envy gluttony lust sloth wrath and greed

傲慢嫉妒暴食淫欲懒惰愤怒贪婪

Wow you know your sins

你很懂七宗罪啊

Well again I'm an actor.

再说一遍我毕竟是个演员

They are the tools in my box.

它们都是我演艺事业上的工具

Um have you considered a narrator you know um

那你有考虑过请一名旁白

like a tour guide kind of thing

像是参观向导之类的人吗

Oh that's interesting.

这想法有意思

But who would that be

但是该请谁呢

Well I'd have to think the big man himself.

我觉得当然是请大佬本人来啦

God ‭Satan.

-上帝吗 -撒旦

Oh That's spooky.

这样就恐怖了

And he's trying to lure people toward sin.

而他想把人引入罪恶的深渊

Exactly.

没错

That's a pretty big role.

那这是很重要的角色呢

I wonder who could do it.

谁能来演呢

Well it would have to be someone

这必须得请到一位

with enough range to convey sincerity and charm

戏路够广能看起来真挚与讨喜

all the while hiding a dark and corrupt soul

但底下又隐藏着黑暗与堕落灵魂的人

Good golly. ‭

老天啊

If you were just a little taller you'd be perfect.

如果你能再高大一点你一定是完美人选

I have lifts.

我有内增高

What are we doing here

我们来这里做什么

Waiting for Veronica.

等维罗妮卡

How do you know she's in there

你怎么知道她在这里

It's kind of her homeroom.

这里算是她在学校的大本营

Oh hello again.

又见面啦

Hey. What's up

怎么啦

This is my brother Georgie. He wanted to meet you.

这是我哥哥小乔治他想认识你

Really Really.

-真的吗 -真的

I like your hair.

我挺喜欢你的发型

Uh me too.

我也是

What do you think

你觉得怎么样

Pretty great huh

很不错吧

Realtor's letting us use it for free.

房产中介免费借我们使用

Wow. How'd you swing that

你怎么说服人家的

Well I promised Fred Murphy a lead role in the lust room.

我答应弗雷德·墨菲可以在淫欲房当主演

Look at you just wheeling and dealing

你看你这不择手段的方式

like a big time Hollywood producer.

跟好莱坞的那些大牌制作人一模一样

‭Maybe you're in the wrong business.

我觉得或许你入错行了

Being a mother

你是说不该当妈妈吗

Being a Christian. ‭Ah.

是不该当基督徒

Greetings

两位好

Oh good Mr. Lundy you made it. ‭

太好了伦迪先生你到了

Oh we're gonna be working together. You can call me Gene.

我们接下来算同事了叫我吉恩就好了

All right Gene this is my mother Connie. Hi.

-好啦吉恩这是我母亲康妮 -你好

Hi. ‭Hello.

-你好 -幸会

Now I would've bet she was your big sister.

你不说我还以为她是你姐姐呢

‭I thought you said he was a good actor.

你不是说他是好演员吗说话那么浮夸

Oh now. ‭

好啦

So what do you think

你有什么想法呢

Spiderwebs. ‭What

-蜘蛛网 -什么

We're gonna need some spiderwebs

我们会需要布置一些蜘蛛网

and I think maybe some fire effects

然后我觉得在门户的左侧与右侧

on the left and right side of the portal.

布置一些喷火特效

Portal

什么门户

Portal to hell.

到地狱的门户

‭Sure sure.

行行行

Now the script calls for me to appear

我感觉剧本在呼唤我

from beneath the house in a cloud of smoke.

让我从房子下方随着烟幕特效走出

But I think that's gonna be ambitious.

但我觉得这有点想太多了

Script What script

剧本什么剧本

Oh I wrote a script. Don't worry about it.

我写了个剧本不用担心这个啦

I was gonna write the script.

我本来也打算要写剧本呢

Well now you don't have to.

现在你就不用麻烦啦

Do you believe this

你敢相信吗

Believe it love it

相信而且爱死了

glad I didn't wait in the car.

太庆幸自己有下车来看了

I can't believe this.

我真是不敢相信

No good

不好吗

It's awful.

太垃圾了

It makes sin seem like a good thing.

这把罪写的像好事一样

Well that's the problem isn't it

但问题就在这里不是吗

I mean if sin didn't seem like a good thing

如果罪看起来不好

nobody would do it.

那人们才不会去做呢

George please I'm in no mood.

乔治我没心情你就别添乱了

Hey. Wrath.

你看愤怒

That's one of the seven sins right

这是七宗罪中的其中一件吧

Pastor Jeff gave me this project

杰夫牧师把这计划交给我

because he knew I'd be best at it.

是因为他知道我能胜任

Now Gene... Lundy is taking over.

现在要被吉恩...伦迪抢过去了

Oh look pride. And envy.

瞧傲慢还有嫉妒

Don't stop. Four sins to go.

别停下还剩四种罪呢

I'm guessing lust ain't happening tonight.

我猜今晚淫欲是没戏了

You see a large red button.

你看到一个很大的红色按钮

What do you do

你要怎么做

I press it.

按下去

The floor opens up and you plunge into a 60 foot pit.

地板裂开你掉进一个18米深的坑里

I fly out.

我飞出来

Up up and away

飞高高逃远远

Again you're not Superman in this game

再提醒一次你在这游戏里不是超人

you're Superman for Halloween.

你只是万圣节扮成超人

Which isn't till next week.

而且下周才是万圣节

So I'm in a pit.

那我就在坑里呗

You're in a pit.

你在一个坑里

Then I blast my way out with my super breath

那我就用我的超级呼气炸出一条路

Just let him do it.

让他这么做吧

Dinner's ready.

晚饭好了

Five more minutes. Hey Georgie.

-再等5分钟 -小乔治

I saw you talking to Veronica Duncan.

我看到你跟维罗妮卡·邓肯说话了

Yeah. So

是啊怎么了

How well do you know her

你跟她熟吗

Not as well as I'm gonna.

以后会更熟

I introduced them.

是我介绍他们认识的

He math skills are dreadful.

他的数学太烂了

Did you know Superman has a dog

你们知道超人有条狗吗

His name is Krypto.

它叫小氪

He plays fetch in space.

他在太空玩接球游戏

Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut.

停停停停

It's supposed to be wrath.

这应该是愤怒啊

Give him a little kick now that's he's down.

他倒下后你再给他补上两脚

Give him a little kick.

踢他几下

That's right that's good.

没错做得很好

Yes. Yeah. ‭

对了很好

No go for it.

往死里踢

Yes.

对了

Kind of stomp down on him stomp down on him.

用力踩下去用力踩他

Yes. That's the way. Good.

就是这样很好

Now Fred remember

弗雷德记住

you are the personification of lust.

你就是淫欲的化身

Your sole reason for being is to try to satisfy

你存在的唯一理由就是尽可能满足

this unquenchable thirst for physical pleasure.

自己对肉体欢愉的难抑渴望

Great. Will there be kissing and touching

很好会有亲亲和摸摸的戏码吗

Oh you bet.

当然有了

Now what

又怎么了

Pretend kissing. Pretend touching.

假装亲亲假装摸摸

Fred would you just give me a moment

弗雷德稍等我一下

Mary I I've tried to be patient

玛丽我之前一直保持耐心

but if I'm gonna do this

但如果我要做这件事

put my reputation on the line

拿我的名声冒险

I'm gonna need you to back off just a little bit.

我就需要你少插手一点

Do I need to remind you that the purpose of Heck House

我需要提醒你办见鬼了之屋的目的

is to show how sins destroy our lives

是展示罪恶是如何摧毁我们生活的吗

Yeah so

是啊所以呢

You are making them into a good thing.

你把罪恶拍成好事了

Have you read the script

你看剧本了没

He's gonna get syphilis.

他之后会得梅毒的

He goes home he gives it to his wife.

他回家把梅毒传染给他老婆

She goes crazy.

她气疯了

She kills him and her entire family.

她把他和全家人都杀了

What am I missing

你是有哪里不满呢

Sorry I'm late.

抱歉我来晚了

I couldn't find my keys

我找不到车钥匙

and then my car wouldn't start.

然后我的车又发动不起来

Then I got lost.

我还迷路了

Holy smokes.

我滴个神啊

Hi. Are you my make out partner

你好你是我的亲热戏搭档吗

No. No. No one's making out.

不不不没人要亲热

This all stops right now.

这一切现在就给我停下

You have got to calm down.

你得冷静下来

I will not have innocent children walk through this house

我绝不会让天真的小孩子在万圣节

on Halloween and see a half naked woman.

游览这所房子时看到一个半裸女

A half naked woman chock full of syphilis.

是一个有梅毒的半裸女

What ‭ It's pretend syphilis.

-什么 -有梅毒是演的

Mary I am a trained theater professional.

玛丽我是受训过的戏剧专业人士

Why don't you just let me do what I do while you

你何不让我发挥自己所长与此同时

you know go home and make a nice tuna casserole.

你回家做吞拿鱼砂锅菜吧

All right Fred...

好吧弗雷德

I know what you're thinking

我知道你们都在想什么

she's going to tear his throat out.

她准备把他喉咙扯出来

But what in fact happened is she did

但事实上她做了

what she thought Jesus would do.

她认为耶稣会做的事

She went home and made that tuna casserole.

她回家做了吞拿鱼砂锅菜

It was a little salty

有点过咸

but I ate it because she was in a mood.

但她心情不好我就默默吃了

Trick or treat

不给糖就捣蛋

Greetings. Pleased to meet you.

你们好很高兴见到你们

I go by many names Satan Lucifer

我有许多名字撒旦路西法

Mephistopheles Beelzebub.

梅菲斯特别西卜

Of course when I make a dinner reservation

当然我在餐厅订位时

I I go by "Eric."

用的是"艾瑞克"

It's easier to spell.

这个名字比较好拼啦

Before we begin tonight's descent into Heck

在我们今晚堕入见鬼之地前

I'd like to tell you a little about myself.

我想向大家介绍一下自己

'Cause it's all about you isn't it

因为你就是主角对不对

I was God's chosen angel.

我是上帝选中的天使

I was his favorite.

我本是他的最爱

We used to go camping together.

我们以前常一起去露营

But then because I wanted to have a little bit of fun

但之后因为我想稍微放纵一下

I was cast from heaven.

他就将我逐出天国

Tonight you will bear witness to that fun.

今晚你们将见证那些放纵之乐

You will decide whether it is sinful...

你们来决定那到底是罪恶

or just another Saturday night.

还是寻常的周六夜晚活动

Come with me... if you dare.

跟我来... 如果你有胆的话

Just watch your step right over here

这边注意脚下

'cause there's some electrical wires.

有些电线呢

Trick or treat.

不给糖就捣蛋

Oh look how cute y'all are.

看看你们多可爱呀

Now I know you are Superman.

我知道你是超人

What about the rest of you

其他人扮的都是谁呀

I'm Cyndi Lauper. ‭I'm a wizard.

-我是歌手辛迪·劳帕 -我是巫师

And I'm Carl Sagan.

我是卡尔·萨根

Who

谁

Carl Sagan.

卡尔·萨根

He's the host of Cosmos.

他是《宇宙》节目的解说人

Well isn't that something.

真了不起呀

Now y'all be safe and have a fun night.

你们注意安全今晚玩得愉快

I'm Super...

我是超...

You like Guns N' Roses

你喜欢枪炮与玫瑰乐团吗

They're all right.

还行吧

Yeah they're all right.

是啊他们还好

You as smart as your brother

你跟你弟弟一样聪明吗

Nobody is.

没人比得上他

I got an older sister that's kind of a genius.

我有个姐姐也算得上是天才

Oh yeah

是吗

Why didn't she tutor you

她为什么不给你补习

She's in jail.

她坐牢了

What'd she do

她犯了什么事

She sold a pinata full of weed

她把一墨西哥彩罐的大麻

to an undercover cop.

卖给了卧底警察

Doesn't sound like much of a genius.

听起来不太像天才啊

Oh I don't know she graduated high school.

我也不知道她可是高中毕业了呢

Ooh peanut butter cups

巧克力花生糖

Superman loves peanut butter cups

超人可喜欢巧克力花生糖了

So you see the sin of greed.

你们看这是贪婪之罪

Very wealthy man a beautiful house

有钱男人有一栋漂亮的房子

swimming pool several German cars

带游泳池还有几辆德国产的汽车

and a young wife who worshipped him.

和一个崇拜他的年轻妻子

Excuse me Mr. Satan.

不好意思撒旦先生

What

干嘛

You kind of left out

你好像忘了说

how greed is the root of all evil

贪婪是万恶之源

and how it corrupts the soul.

会腐蚀人的灵魂

It's in there. It's called subtext.

有表现出来这叫潜台词

Why don't we take a gander at the eternal torment

接下来我们去看看永世的折磨

that is sloth.

也就是懒惰

I can't believe no one in this town knows

真不敢相信这镇上没人知道

who Carl Sagan is.

卡尔·萨根是谁

Why even have a TV

那还要电视来干嘛

Stupid Mrs. Gifford gave me a banana.

吉福德太太那个傻子给了我一根香蕉

Where's Billy

比利人呢

He had to go to the bathroom.

他要去尿尿

So he went home ‭No.

-他回家尿了吗 -没有

He's right behind that tree.

他就在那棵树后面

Wait up guys.

等我哦

Oh I got a little on my cape.

我的披风沾到一点尿了

There's nobody at my house. You want to come over

我家没人你想来吗

Yes.

想

Okay let's go.

好啊我们走

Look at this.

你看看

We threw a party for heaven and nobody came.

我们给天堂办了个派对却没人来

Not one person chose to be saved.

没有一个人选择被拯救

Well did you tell 'em about the cupcakes

你说了会有杯子蛋糕吗

Where I think you went wrong is in your timing.

你应该是时机没拿捏好

If you'd done this deal during a war or a plague

如果你在战争年代或瘟疫爆发时搞这套

then you'd have a boatload of converts.

就会有很多人来皈依你

Famine. Famine would bring 'em in.

饥荒饥荒也能让他们来

What do you know about famine

你对饥荒懂个屁啊

Hola amigos.

朋友们好啊

Hey Pastor Jeff.

你好杰夫牧师

Why so glum This is going great.

干嘛拉长着脸进展很好啊

Donations are through the roof.

我们收到的捐款多到数不清了

Nobody wants to be saved.

没人想被拯救

Yeah but donations are through the roof.

是但收到的捐款多到数不清了

Is that all this means to you raising money

你就只在乎这个吗筹钱

Hey that money is gonna do a lot of good

那笔钱能用来为很多人

for a lot of people.

做很多好事

Now quit being such a fun sponge.

你别再扫兴了

Here have some grapes.

来吃点葡萄吧

What's that

那是什么

Some stupid haunted house

我妈为教堂搞的

my mother's doing for the church.

弱智鬼屋

Let's check it out.

我们去看看吧

But I I thought we were going to your house.

但我们不是要去你家吗

We are let's just do this first.

是但我们先看看这个

It'll be fun.

会很好玩的

Pleased to meet you.

很高兴见到你们

I go by many names Satan...

我有许多名字撒旦...

My mother's fears that no one would be saved

我妈担心那个万圣节晚上

that Halloween night were proven incorrect.

没人会被拯救事实证明她错了

As they kissed she thought about the choices

他们亲吻时她想到之前做出的种种选择

that led her to this moment.

让自己走到了这一步

Mr. Lundy's scene about lust made a deep impact

伦迪先生布置的淫欲场景对我哥的约会

on my brother's date. Her youth was gone.

-造成了巨大影响 -她的青春不再

She had traded her beauty for a few tawdry dollars

她用美貌只换来区区几个小钱

and now she had nothing left but shame...

如今她一无所有只剩下羞耻...

...and venereal disease.

和性病

She asked to be saved by Jesus.

她请求耶稣拯救她

I don't want to live like this anymore.

我不想再过这样的生活了

Oh just repeat after me...

重复我说的话...

And as it turns out she was.

结果她真的得到了救赎

She went on to live a life devoted to God

她余生都侍奉上帝

feeding the poor even helping her sister

提供食物给穷人甚至帮她姐姐

start a literacy program for female prisoners.

开展了一个女囚犯读写学习项目

My brother on the other hand

然而我哥哥在那晚后

became a devout atheist after that night.

变成了虔诚的无神论者

We got one

救到一个人了

Trick or treat

不给糖就捣蛋

Are'nt you all precious.

你们都好可爱呀

And you look like a little Carl Sagan.

你看上去就是个小卡尔·萨根

Vindication.

洗刷冤屈

The sweetest candy of all.

是世间最甜美的糖果

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