小谢尔顿-S02E06_小谢尔顿

S04

S07

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小谢尔顿-S07E01

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Nobody else is stronger than I am

世上没人比我强壮

Yesterday I moved a mountain

昨天我移了一座山

I bet I could be your hero

我相信我能当你的英雄

I am a mighty little man

我是个了不起的小家伙

I am a mighty little man

我是个了不起的小家伙

晚间新闻

女生厕所

弗雷德·墨菲不动产

见鬼了之屋

吉恩伦迪出品

见鬼了之屋

吉恩·伦迪的见鬼了之屋

美国天文学家

With us tonight is Pastor Jeff Difford

今晚的嘉宾是杰夫·迪佛德牧师

from the First Baptist Church of Medford

来自梅德福第一浸信会教堂

Thank you for being here Pastor

感谢您来本节目牧师

My pleasure

我的荣幸

So it would appear that your church's

根据情报您教堂的

Halloween Hell House has stirred up

万圣节地狱之家

quite a bit of controversy this year

在今年引起了不小的争议

Oh I wouldn't call it controversy

我觉得不算是起争议啦

What would you call it

那您觉得是什么

A As you know

如您所知

the purpose of a Hell House is to demonstrate the wages of sin

布置地狱之家的目的是为了展示罪恶的报应

so as to lead people back to God

好引导人们回到上帝的怀中

That's wonderful

那真是太好了

But doesn't it concern you that a lot of parents were alarmed

但您难道不担心很多孩子家长对于

at the gruesome scenes you portrayed

你们演绎出来的可怕场景感到十分担忧吗

Once again our intentions were pure

再次说明我们的出发点是很单纯的

Why don't we take a look at just how pure they were

要不我们来看看这出发点到底有多纯吧

Let's roll the clip

请放出影片

Oh boy

要命了

I need another beer

我要再喝一杯

Oh darling don't you think you've had enough

亲爱的你喝得还不够多吗

I'll tell you when I had enough ‭

老子跟你说喝够的时候才喝够

Whoa Hey cowboy

这位兄台

why don't you put that down and call it a night

把手里的兵器放下大家各回各家吧

Don't you tell me what to do

老子的事不用你多嘴

That's enough Peg

够了佩佩

Dear Lord

我的老天爷啊

As you can see our last attempt at a Hell House

你也看到了我们上一次的地狱之家

may have been a tad traumatizing

可能有点过于让人有心理阴影了

I thought it was a hoot

我觉得可精彩了

Some of the little ones peed their pants

有几个小孩都吓尿了

But that wasn't the goal

但我们的目的不是吓人

A nine year old crapped himself

有个9岁还是还吓"屎"了

Why are you showing me this

你为什么要放这个给我看

Well Mary this year we'd like to go

玛丽今年呢我们想要尝试

with a more family friendly production

制作成一个更适合阖家莅临的活动

And I thought you'd be the perfect person to head that up

我觉得你是带领这计划的最佳人选

Really Me

真的吗我吗

Yes you Absolutely

是的就是你毋庸置疑

Gosh I don't know

天啊我不知道了

I always felt I had a flair for the creative arts

我的确是一直对创造艺术有兴趣

but putting on a big show like that

但制作一出这么大的演出...

You'll have a sizable budget and all the help you'll need

制作预算可观而且你可以得到一切帮助

constructing sets building props

无论是建造舞台制作道具

special effects makeup

特殊效果妆发

Does sound tempting

听起来很吸引人啊

But most importantly

但最重要的是

you'll have an opportunity to bring people to God

你会有机会带领人们走向神的怀抱中

by vividly demonstrating the perils of sin

全凭着鲜活展示罪的险恶

Be careful if you touch on adultery

如果要演绎通奸你可得小心

Last year one of the actors got pregnant

去年有一个演员因此怀孕了

Thanks Peg

谢谢你啊佩佩

So what do you say

你意下如何

I already know the first change I'm gonna make

我已经知道我要做的第一项改变是什么了

Instead of calling it "Hell House "

今年不叫"地狱之家"

which is a little off putting

毕竟这有点令人不喜

I'm gonna call it

我要把它改名为

"Heck House "

"见鬼了之屋"

Isn't that great

是不是很棒啊

That is great

很棒很棒

You don't really mean that

你这话才不是真心的

Yes I do

当然是真心的

Oh I get it

我懂了

Happy wife happy life

老婆快乐生活快乐

You need to stop talking

你还是给我闭上嘴巴吧

So it's not gonna be scary

所以今年就不会恐怖了吗

It will but without all the blood and gore

还是会有一点只是不会那么血腥暴力

But I like blood and gore

可是我就喜欢血腥暴力啊

Hang on y'all are trying to scare people

等等你们想靠吓唬的手段

into joining the church

来让人加入教会吗

Yeah But people like

是啊但反正大家都喜欢

getting scared on Halloween anyway

在万圣节被人吓啊

Why not make 'em jump in the right direction

把他们吓到正确的道路上何乐而不为

Actually fear has been a recruiting tactic

其实恐惧的确是有组织宗教

used by organized religion for centuries

几百年来吸纳教徒的工具之一

When you add guilt to keep people in line

如果再加上罪恶感来让教徒守规矩

it's an extremely efficient form of crowd control

它就成为了效果卓越的群体管控手段

Our religion is based on love Sheldon not fear

谢尔顿我们的宗教靠的是爱不是恐惧

So what happens when people don't follow the rules

那当人们不守教规时会发生什么事呢

They burn in hell

他们会下地狱被火烧

Because God loves 'em

因为神爱他们啊

Sheldon

谢尔顿

Oh Hi Georgie

你好啊小乔治

Why was Veronica Duncan hugging you

为什么维罗妮卡·邓肯抱了你

I'm tutoring her in trigonometry

因为我在帮她补习数学的三角法

And that gets you hugs

这样就能赚到抱抱了吗

Thanks to me she got her first C minus

多亏了我她第一次得到了C-

Just between us she's a little slow

你别告诉别人但她脑子转速有点慢

That's not what I heard

我听说的可不是这样

What did you hear

那你听说的是什么

Is she secretly clever

她聪明地很隐秘吗

Because if she is I completely missed it

如果真是这样那我完全没发现到

It doesn't matter

这不是重点

You just need to introduce me to her

我只要你把我介绍给她认识

Why

为什么

I want to be her friend

我想跟她交朋友

Well you better take a number

那你最好先去领个号码牌

She's friends with a lot of boys around here

她跟学校里很多男生都是好朋友

Let me worry about that You just need to introduce us

这让我来烦恼你负责牵线就行了

All right

行吧

You know she pays me two dollars for every one of our tutoring lessons

我给她上的每堂课她都付我2块钱呢

How much did it cost her to get a C minus

那她花了多少钱才得到这个C-

$26

26块

That's a good deal

那很划算啊

Now remember next week we start our work

大家记得啊下周我们就开始排

on Streetcar Named Desire

《欲望号街车》

So please prepare a monologue for either Blanche or Stanley

请自行准备好一段男主角或女主角的独白

Usually the girls do Blanche and the boys do Stanley

通常女生演女主白兰芝男生演男主斯坦利

but no judgment you follow your heart

但你们凭自己本心选吧我不歧视

Thank you again for letting me come by to pick your brain

谢谢你再次让我来跟你请教事情

Oh please Anything for the church

别客气给教堂帮忙我在所不辞

Are you a religious man

你信教吗

I'm an actor

我是个演员

I'm whatever you need me to be

你需要什么我就能变成什么

All right

好吧

As I told you on the phone

如同我在电话上跟你说过的

I have been tasked

我被任命去负责

with mounting this year's Halloween production

今年的万圣节戏剧总策划

Oh is that a haunted house kind of deal

是搞鬼屋之类的东西吗

Yes but with the goal of bringing people to God

是但是目的是要带领人们走向上帝

I do know something about that

这方面我还真有些了解

When I played Puck in Midsummer

在我演出《仲夏夜之梦》的帕克时

the Tulsa Herald called my performance heavenly

《塔尔萨前锋报》称赞我的表演如天堂一般

Wow Good for you

那你很厉害啊

Thank you thank you ‭

谢谢谢谢

Okay Um I was hoping

好的我是在想

to put on a little play in each of the rooms

在每间房间里都上演不同的小短剧

that portrays one of the seven deadly sins

一间房间对应七宗罪中的一件

Pride envy gluttony lust sloth wrath and greed

傲慢嫉妒暴食淫欲懒惰愤怒贪婪

Wow you know your sins

你很懂七宗罪啊

Well again I'm an actor

再说一遍我毕竟是个演员

They are the tools in my box

它们都是我演艺事业上的工具

Um have you considered a narrator you know um

那你有考虑过请一名旁白

like a tour guide kind of thing

像是参观向导之类的人吗

Oh that's interesting

这想法有意思

But who would that be

但是该请谁呢

Well I'd have to think the big man himself

我觉得当然是请大佬本人来啦

God ‭Satan

-上帝吗 -撒旦

Oh That's spooky

这样就恐怖了

And he's trying to lure people toward sin

而他想把人引入罪恶的深渊

Exactly

没错

That's a pretty big role

那这是很重要的角色呢

I wonder who could do it

谁能来演呢

Well it would have to be someone

这必须得请到一位

with enough range to convey sincerity and charm

戏路够广能看起来真挚与讨喜

all the while hiding a dark and corrupt soul

但底下又隐藏着黑暗与堕落灵魂的人

Good golly ‭

老天啊

If you were just a little taller you'd be perfect

如果你能再高大一点你一定是完美人选

I have lifts

我有内增高

What are we doing here

我们来这里做什么

Waiting for Veronica

等维罗妮卡

How do you know she's in there

你怎么知道她在这里

It's kind of her homeroom

这里算是她在学校的大本营

Oh hello again

又见面啦

Hey What's up

怎么啦

This is my brother Georgie He wanted to meet you

这是我哥哥小乔治他想认识你

Really Really

-真的吗 -真的

I like your hair

我挺喜欢你的发型

Uh me too

我也是

What do you think

你觉得怎么样

Pretty great huh

很不错吧

Realtor's letting us use it for free

房产中介免费借我们使用

Wow How'd you swing that

你怎么说服人家的

Well I promised Fred Murphy a lead role in the lust room

我答应弗雷德·墨菲可以在淫欲房当主演

Look at you just wheeling and dealing

你看你这不择手段的方式

like a big time Hollywood producer

跟好莱坞的那些大牌制作人一模一样

‭Maybe you're in the wrong business

我觉得或许你入错行了

Being a mother

你是说不该当妈妈吗

Being a Christian ‭Ah

是不该当基督徒

Greetings

两位好

Oh good Mr Lundy you made it ‭

太好了伦迪先生你到了

Oh we're gonna be working together You can call me Gene

我们接下来算同事了叫我吉恩就好了

All right Gene this is my mother Connie Hi

-好啦吉恩这是我母亲康妮 -你好

Hi ‭Hello

-你好 -幸会

Now I would've bet she was your big sister

你不说我还以为她是你姐姐呢

‭I thought you said he was a good actor

你不是说他是好演员吗说话那么浮夸

Oh now ‭

好啦

So what do you think

你有什么想法呢

Spiderwebs ‭What

-蜘蛛网 -什么

We're gonna need some spiderwebs

我们会需要布置一些蜘蛛网

and I think maybe some fire effects

然后我觉得在门户的左侧与右侧

on the left and right side of the portal

布置一些喷火特效

Portal

什么门户

Portal to hell

到地狱的门户

‭Sure sure

行行行

Now the script calls for me to appear

我感觉剧本在呼唤我

from beneath the house in a cloud of smoke

让我从房子下方随着烟幕特效走出

But I think that's gonna be ambitious

但我觉得这有点想太多了

Script What script

剧本什么剧本

Oh I wrote a script Don't worry about it

我写了个剧本不用担心这个啦

I was gonna write the script

我本来也打算要写剧本呢

Well now you don't have to

现在你就不用麻烦啦

Do you believe this

你敢相信吗

Believe it love it

相信而且爱死了

glad I didn't wait in the car

太庆幸自己有下车来看了

I can't believe this

我真是不敢相信

No good

不好吗

It's awful

太垃圾了

It makes sin seem like a good thing

这把罪写的像好事一样

Well that's the problem isn't it

但问题就在这里不是吗

I mean if sin didn't seem like a good thing

如果罪看起来不好

nobody would do it

那人们才不会去做呢

George please I'm in no mood

乔治我没心情你就别添乱了

Hey Wrath

你看愤怒

That's one of the seven sins right

这是七宗罪中的其中一件吧

Pastor Jeff gave me this project

杰夫牧师把这计划交给我

because he knew I'd be best at it

是因为他知道我能胜任

Now Gene Lundy is taking over

现在要被吉恩...伦迪抢过去了

Oh look pride And envy

瞧傲慢还有嫉妒

Don't stop Four sins to go

别停下还剩四种罪呢

I'm guessing lust ain't happening tonight

我猜今晚淫欲是没戏了

You see a large red button

你看到一个很大的红色按钮

What do you do

你要怎么做

I press it

按下去

The floor opens up and you plunge into a 60 foot pit

地板裂开你掉进一个18米深的坑里

I fly out

我飞出来

Up up and away

飞高高逃远远

Again you're not Superman in this game

再提醒一次你在这游戏里不是超人

you're Superman for Halloween

你只是万圣节扮成超人

Which isn't till next week

而且下周才是万圣节

So I'm in a pit

那我就在坑里呗

You're in a pit

你在一个坑里

Then I blast my way out with my super breath

那我就用我的超级呼气炸出一条路

Just let him do it

让他这么做吧

Dinner's ready

晚饭好了

Five more minutes Hey Georgie

-再等5分钟 -小乔治

I saw you talking to Veronica Duncan

我看到你跟维罗妮卡·邓肯说话了

Yeah So

是啊怎么了

How well do you know her

你跟她熟吗

Not as well as I'm gonna

以后会更熟

I introduced them

是我介绍他们认识的

He math skills are dreadful

他的数学太烂了

Did you know Superman has a dog

你们知道超人有条狗吗

His name is Krypto

它叫小氪

He plays fetch in space

他在太空玩接球游戏

Cut Cut Cut Cut Cut

停停停停

It's supposed to be wrath

这应该是愤怒啊

Give him a little kick now that's he's down

他倒下后你再给他补上两脚

Give him a little kick

踢他几下

That's right that's good

没错做得很好

Yes Yeah ‭

对了很好

No go for it

往死里踢

Yes

对了

Kind of stomp down on him stomp down on him

用力踩下去用力踩他

Yes That's the way Good

就是这样很好

Now Fred remember

弗雷德记住

you are the personification of lust

你就是淫欲的化身

Your sole reason for being is to try to satisfy

你存在的唯一理由就是尽可能满足

this unquenchable thirst for physical pleasure

自己对肉体欢愉的难抑渴望

Great Will there be kissing and touching

很好会有亲亲和摸摸的戏码吗

Oh you bet

当然有了

Now what

又怎么了

Pretend kissing Pretend touching

假装亲亲假装摸摸

Fred would you just give me a moment

弗雷德稍等我一下

Mary I I've tried to be patient

玛丽我之前一直保持耐心

but if I'm gonna do this

但如果我要做这件事

put my reputation on the line

拿我的名声冒险

I'm gonna need you to back off just a little bit

我就需要你少插手一点

Do I need to remind you that the purpose of Heck House

我需要提醒你办见鬼了之屋的目的

is to show how sins destroy our lives

是展示罪恶是如何摧毁我们生活的吗

Yeah so

是啊所以呢

You are making them into a good thing

你把罪恶拍成好事了

Have you read the script

你看剧本了没

He's gonna get syphilis

他之后会得梅毒的

He goes home he gives it to his wife

他回家把梅毒传染给他老婆

She goes crazy

她气疯了

She kills him and her entire family

她把他和全家人都杀了

What am I missing

你是有哪里不满呢

Sorry I'm late

抱歉我来晚了

I couldn't find my keys

我找不到车钥匙

and then my car wouldn't start

然后我的车又发动不起来

Then I got lost

我还迷路了

Holy smokes

我滴个神啊

Hi Are you my make out partner

你好你是我的亲热戏搭档吗

No No No one's making out

不不不没人要亲热

This all stops right now

这一切现在就给我停下

You have got to calm down

你得冷静下来

I will not have innocent children walk through this house

我绝不会让天真的小孩子在万圣节

on Halloween and see a half naked woman

游览这所房子时看到一个半裸女

A half naked woman chock full of syphilis

是一个有梅毒的半裸女

What ‭ It's pretend syphilis

-什么 -有梅毒是演的

Mary I am a trained theater professional

玛丽我是受训过的戏剧专业人士

Why don't you just let me do what I do while you

你何不让我发挥自己所长与此同时

you know go home and make a nice tuna casserole

你回家做吞拿鱼砂锅菜吧

All right Fred

好吧弗雷德

I know what you're thinking

我知道你们都在想什么

she's going to tear his throat out

她准备把他喉咙扯出来

But what in fact happened is she did

但事实上她做了

what she thought Jesus would do

她认为耶稣会做的事

She went home and made that tuna casserole

她回家做了吞拿鱼砂锅菜

It was a little salty

有点过咸

but I ate it because she was in a mood

但她心情不好我就默默吃了

Trick or treat

不给糖就捣蛋

Greetings Pleased to meet you

你们好很高兴见到你们

I go by many names Satan Lucifer

我有许多名字撒旦路西法

Mephistopheles Beelzebub

梅菲斯特别西卜

Of course when I make a dinner reservation

当然我在餐厅订位时

I I go by "Eric "

用的是"艾瑞克"

It's easier to spell

这个名字比较好拼啦

Before we begin tonight's descent into Heck

在我们今晚堕入见鬼之地前

I'd like to tell you a little about myself

我想向大家介绍一下自己

'Cause it's all about you isn't it

因为你就是主角对不对

I was God's chosen angel

我是上帝选中的天使

I was his favorite

我本是他的最爱

We used to go camping together

我们以前常一起去露营

But then because I wanted to have a little bit of fun

但之后因为我想稍微放纵一下

I was cast from heaven

他就将我逐出天国

Tonight you will bear witness to that fun

今晚你们将见证那些放纵之乐

You will decide whether it is sinful

你们来决定那到底是罪恶

or just another Saturday night

还是寻常的周六夜晚活动

Come with me if you dare

跟我来... 如果你有胆的话

Just watch your step right over here

这边注意脚下

'cause there's some electrical wires

有些电线呢

Trick or treat

不给糖就捣蛋

Oh look how cute y'all are

看看你们多可爱呀

Now I know you are Superman

我知道你是超人

What about the rest of you

其他人扮的都是谁呀

I'm Cyndi Lauper ‭I'm a wizard

-我是歌手辛迪·劳帕 -我是巫师

And I'm Carl Sagan

我是卡尔·萨根

Who

谁

Carl Sagan

卡尔·萨根

He's the host of Cosmos

他是《宇宙》节目的解说人

Well isn't that something

真了不起呀

Now y'all be safe and have a fun night

你们注意安全今晚玩得愉快

I'm Super

我是超...

You like Guns N' Roses

你喜欢枪炮与玫瑰乐团吗

They're all right

还行吧

Yeah they're all right

是啊他们还好

You as smart as your brother

你跟你弟弟一样聪明吗

Nobody is

没人比得上他

I got an older sister that's kind of a genius

我有个姐姐也算得上是天才

Oh yeah

是吗

Why didn't she tutor you

她为什么不给你补习

She's in jail

她坐牢了

What'd she do

她犯了什么事

She sold a pinata full of weed

她把一墨西哥彩罐的大麻

to an undercover cop

卖给了卧底警察

Doesn't sound like much of a genius

听起来不太像天才啊

Oh I don't know she graduated high school

我也不知道她可是高中毕业了呢

Ooh peanut butter cups

巧克力花生糖

Superman loves peanut butter cups

超人可喜欢巧克力花生糖了

So you see the sin of greed

你们看这是贪婪之罪

Very wealthy man a beautiful house

有钱男人有一栋漂亮的房子

swimming pool several German cars

带游泳池还有几辆德国产的汽车

and a young wife who worshipped him

和一个崇拜他的年轻妻子

Excuse me Mr Satan

不好意思撒旦先生

What

干嘛

You kind of left out

你好像忘了说

how greed is the root of all evil

贪婪是万恶之源

and how it corrupts the soul

会腐蚀人的灵魂

It's in there It's called subtext

有表现出来这叫潜台词

Why don't we take a gander at the eternal torment

接下来我们去看看永世的折磨

that is sloth

也就是懒惰

I can't believe no one in this town knows

真不敢相信这镇上没人知道

who Carl Sagan is

卡尔·萨根是谁

Why even have a TV

那还要电视来干嘛

Stupid Mrs Gifford gave me a banana

吉福德太太那个傻子给了我一根香蕉

Where's Billy

比利人呢

He had to go to the bathroom

他要去尿尿

So he went home ‭No

-他回家尿了吗 -没有

He's right behind that tree

他就在那棵树后面

Wait up guys

等我哦

Oh I got a little on my cape

我的披风沾到一点尿了

There's nobody at my house You want to come over

我家没人你想来吗

Yes

想

Okay let's go

好啊我们走

Look at this

你看看

We threw a party for heaven and nobody came

我们给天堂办了个派对却没人来

Not one person chose to be saved

没有一个人选择被拯救

Well did you tell 'em about the cupcakes

你说了会有杯子蛋糕吗

Where I think you went wrong is in your timing

你应该是时机没拿捏好

If you'd done this deal during a war or a plague

如果你在战争年代或瘟疫爆发时搞这套

then you'd have a boatload of converts

就会有很多人来皈依你

Famine Famine would bring 'em in

饥荒饥荒也能让他们来

What do you know about famine

你对饥荒懂个屁啊

Hola amigos

朋友们好啊

Hey Pastor Jeff

你好杰夫牧师

Why so glum This is going great

干嘛拉长着脸进展很好啊

Donations are through the roof

我们收到的捐款多到数不清了

Nobody wants to be saved

没人想被拯救

Yeah but donations are through the roof

是但收到的捐款多到数不清了

Is that all this means to you raising money

你就只在乎这个吗筹钱

Hey that money is gonna do a lot of good

那笔钱能用来为很多人

for a lot of people

做很多好事

Now quit being such a fun sponge

你别再扫兴了

Here have some grapes

来吃点葡萄吧

What's that

那是什么

Some stupid haunted house

我妈为教堂搞的

my mother's doing for the church

弱智鬼屋

Let's check it out

我们去看看吧

But I I thought we were going to your house

但我们不是要去你家吗

We are let's just do this first

是但我们先看看这个

It'll be fun

会很好玩的

Pleased to meet you

很高兴见到你们

I go by many names Satan

我有许多名字撒旦...

My mother's fears that no one would be saved

我妈担心那个万圣节晚上

that Halloween night were proven incorrect

没人会被拯救事实证明她错了

As they kissed she thought about the choices

他们亲吻时她想到之前做出的种种选择

that led her to this moment

让自己走到了这一步

Mr Lundy's scene about lust made a deep impact

伦迪先生布置的淫欲场景对我哥的约会

on my brother's date Her youth was gone

-造成了巨大影响 -她的青春不再

She had traded her beauty for a few tawdry dollars

她用美貌只换来区区几个小钱

and now she had nothing left but shame

如今她一无所有只剩下羞耻...

and venereal disease

和性病

She asked to be saved by Jesus

她请求耶稣拯救她

I don't want to live like this anymore

我不想再过这样的生活了

Oh just repeat after me

重复我说的话...

And as it turns out she was

结果她真的得到了救赎

She went on to live a life devoted to God

她余生都侍奉上帝

feeding the poor even helping her sister

提供食物给穷人甚至帮她姐姐

start a literacy program for female prisoners

开展了一个女囚犯读写学习项目

My brother on the other hand

然而我哥哥在那晚后

became a devout atheist after that night

变成了虔诚的无神论者

We got one

救到一个人了

Trick or treat

不给糖就捣蛋

Are'nt you all precious

你们都好可爱呀

And you look like a little Carl Sagan

你看上去就是个小卡尔·萨根

Vindication

洗刷冤屈

The sweetest candy of all

是世间最甜美的糖果