I just have one question.
我有一个问题想问
Nobody else is stronger than I am
世上没人比我强壮
Yesterday I moved a mountain
昨天我移了一座山
I bet I could be your hero
我相信我能当你的英雄
I am a mighty little man
我是个了不起的小家伙
I am a mighty little man
我是个了不起的小家伙
While my sister and I are twins
虽然我跟我姐姐是双胞胎
we've always been different.
但我们从小就十分不同
By the age of two I was reading books.
两岁时 我开始阅读书籍
Missy was content to eat them.
而米希更想吃了它们
By five I had a healthy appreciation
五岁时 我已经开始对
for a well organized work space.
井井有条的工作环境有所偏爱
My sister less so.
而我姐姐就不是了
Which is not to say she doesn't have qualities I admire.
但这并不代表她没有我所钦佩的特质
Get it Get it
搞他 搞死他
It's just a spider. Calm down.
只是一只蜘蛛罢了 冷静
It's got eight legs and fangs.
它有八条腿跟毒牙
I see no reason to be calm.
你让我怎么冷静
Did you kill it
你弄死它了吗
Yup. ‭Are you sure
-弄死了 -确定吗
You tell me.
你说呢
The bond between twins is an incredibly close one
双胞胎之间的羁绊是非常非常深的
which is why I moved 1 500 miles to California
所以当我有机会时 我立刻搬到了
the first chance I got.
2400公里外的加州
Hello. You got a minute
-你好啊 -你有空吗
John has something he wants to talk to you about.
约翰有事情想跟你谈
I brought you kolaches.
我给你带了水果派呢
Ooh yummy.
好吃啊
So what's up
什么事
You comin' to me to ask for Connie's hand in marriage
你来问我能不能娶康妮吗
No.
不是
But if that were to come to pass
如果有一天真的要发生了
are you authorized to bless the union
你有权决定并祝福我们的婚姻吗
He was joking.
他刚才胡扯呢
Tell him. ‭Okay.
-告诉他吧 -好的
So some colleagues of mine at the university
我在大学的一些同事
are doing a research study on twins.
在做有关双胞胎的研究
I told them about Sheldon and his sister
我跟他们说了谢尔顿跟她的姐姐
and they were most intrigued.
同事们对他们很感兴趣
Uh what kind of study
哪种研究啊
It's a longitudinal investigation
是要纵向研究
of environmental and genetic factors
有关环境与基因
in the development of cognitive and other capacities
对于同异卵双胞胎的发展认知与其他能力
in pairs of fraternal and identical twins.
所带来的影响
You asked.
你自己要问的
Well geez I don't... I don't know
天啊 我不知... 我不知道
if I want some scientists pokin' and proddin' the kids.
我要不要让一帮科学家对我孩子动手动脚
Oh but they wouldn't be poked and prodded.
不会对你的孩子动手动脚
They just have to you know answer some questions.
孩子们只需要去回答一些问题
And maybe some puzzles and tests.
可能解一些谜题 做点测试就行
That's not too bad. Where is it
这样好像也不过分 地点呢
Houston. ‭Oh it just got bad.
-休斯顿 -过分的地方来了
That's... that's a long drive.
那里... 开车要很久呢
It does pay $50 an hour plus gas and expenses.
会给每小时50元劳务费外加油费与补贴
Really
真的吗
I told you to start with that.
我跟你说一开始就先说这个吧
No. See Mary that's the best part
你听我说 玛丽 最好的地方就是
there's no pokin' and proddin'.
不会对我们孩子动手动脚
Plus you know how much Sheldon loves puzzles and tests.
而且你也知道谢尔顿有多爱解谜与测试
I'm not sure.
我也不知道
Think about the money.
你想想给的钱好了
50 bucks an hour four or five hours a week.
一小时给50 一周有个4到5小时
That That's more than our mortgage.
够还每个月房贷了呢
I know I know.
我知道 我懂
But Sheldon's already self conscious
但谢尔顿已经很在乎
about being different from other kids.
自己与别的孩子不同了
I worry how this might affect him.
我很担心这会影响到他的心
You're being too protective. He's a rock.
你太过度保护他了 他可是坚强如石
A rock
如石头吗
Are we raising the same child
我们养的是同一个孩子吗
And what about Missy
那米希呢
Aren't these tests gonna make her feel bad
那些测验难道不会让她觉得难过
that she's not as smart as Sheldon
知道自己不比谢尔顿聪明吗
I'm not as smart as Sheldon.
我也没谢尔顿聪明啊
Doesn't make me feel bad.
但我那也从来没让我难过啊
And we could put the money aside for their college education.
而且我们可以把钱存起来 当他们的大学基金
That's a good point.
这个点好
It's a great point.
是超棒好吗
I don't have to tell you times are changing.
不用我说你也知道 时代不一样了
Kids are pitching in.
这年头孩子也会补贴家计
Like that Webster kid on TV
就像演电视剧的那个小童星
he's making buckets of money for his parents.
他已经给他家里人赚了多少钱了啊
Well...
这个嘛...
I suppose we could give it a try.
让他们试一试应该是可以
There you go. I'll call Sturgis
-这就对了嘛 -我去打给斯特吉斯
tell him we're in.
告诉他我们愿意
Baby I'm getting a fishing boat.
妈呀 我要艘小渔船
So Sheldon Missy we got some exciting news.
谢尔顿 米希 我们有个好消息
Georgie took a bath ‭No.
-小乔治洗澡了吗 -没有
And how come I don't get exciting news
为什么没有我的好消息
This isn't about you.
这事跟你无关
But after dinner why don't you go rinse off
但晚饭后你能去冲个澡吗
So what's up
有什么事
Well a couple of scientists at the college
大学里有几个科学家
where Dr. Sturgis teaches are doing
就是斯特吉斯教授的那个学校
a research study on twins.
在做关于双胞胎的研究
They want to meet you guys ask you some questions.
他们想见见你们 问你们一些问题
Oh boy a research study.
天啊 是科学研究呢
Will they give us written tests
他们会让我们做考卷吗
Yeah I think so. Oh boy.
-应该会吧 -妈呀
Now you don't have to do this if you don't want to.
听我说 如果你们不想做我们就不去
It's purely volunteer.
这是纯凭个人意愿的
I don't want to do it.
我不想去
Why not They probably just want to find out
-为什么不想 -他们应该只是想知道
why you're so smart and I'm just average.
为什么你那么聪明而我只有平均水平
Average That's a little generous.
平均水平吗 给分标准还真是宽松啊
Why don't they want to test me
他们为什么不想测试我
Georgie not now. 'Cause I'm available.
-小乔治 别闹 -我有空啊
Listen why don't we just go there this Saturday
听我说 这周六我们何不去一次
and give it a try
看看到底怎么样
And if you don't like it we don't have to do it again.
如果你们不喜欢 那我们就不再去了
Or they'll love it and they'll do it till
也可能他们喜欢 我们会一直去
they're 18 19 years old.
直到他们18 19岁才结束
I already love it.
我已经喜欢了
My man. Missy
-我的乖儿子 -米希呢
I believe there might be
我记得去那里的路上
a Dairy Queen on the way there.
有一家冰激凌店呢
Can I get an Oreo Blizzard
我能点奥利奥风暴吗
You know what I think
你猜我怎么想
I think you're smarter than him.
我觉得你比他聪明呢
Dr. Thorpe and Dr. Pilson
索普博士与皮尔森博士
here are your research volunteers
你们的研究志愿者已带到
Sheldon and Missy.
他们是谢尔顿与米希
So nice to meet you.
很高兴见到你们
Thank you for participating in our study.
谢谢你们参加我们的研究
Always happy to help advance our understanding of me.
向来十分乐意为更深入了解我提供帮助
I'm just in it for the Dairy Queen.
我是为了吃冰激凌才来的
All right.
好啦
Um if you two wouldn't mind waiting here
希望你们俩不会介意在这里等一会儿
we'd like to start by talking to your mom dad and grandma.
我们想先从跟你们父母与外婆聊聊开始
Why
为什么
Just to get some background information
只是想稍微先了解一下
on the both of you.
你们两个的背景资料
Smart. Ask how old I was when I completed potty training.
真聪明 记得问我是几岁学会自行上厕所的
You won't believe it.
你绝对不敢相信
I'll do that.
我会问的
Will you keep an eye on 'em
你可以帮忙照看他们吗
Well I'll try but if they start running
我尽量吧 但如果他们想跑
you may never see them again.
你们有可能再也见不到他们
Shall we
好了吗
We are on the clock right
这也算在收费时段里的吧
George.
乔治
Boy this brings back some memories.
这勾起了我的往事啊
How come Well when I was your age
-怎么会 -当我在你年纪的时候
I was also taken to a university to be studied.
我也曾被带到大学去被人研究
Because they thought you were really smart
是因为他们觉得你绝顶聪明吗
Because they thought I was clinically insane.
是因为他们觉得我是神经病
And it wasn't just me.
有这经验的人可不止我呢
Did you know that when Albert Einstein
你知道阿尔伯特·爱因斯坦
was a little boy his parents worried
在小的时候 他的父母也曾担心
there was something wrong with him
他是不是哪里有毛病吗
Because he couldn't comb his hair
是因为他不愿意梳头发吗
No that was a choice he made later in life.
不 他的一头乱发是他长大后的自我选择
When he was young
是因为在他小的时候
he wanted nothing to do with other children
他完完全全不想跟别的小朋友接触
and would often have extreme temper tantrums.
而且还常会有极端暴怒
He sounds like you.
他听起来跟你好像
I know. Isn't it great
对啊 简直超棒啊
Well to be perfectly honest
老实说呢
Sheldon has always avoided children his own age.
谢尔顿的确是一直都不愿意跟同龄孩子玩
Tell 'em about temper tantrums.
跟他们说说他的暴脾气
They're not temper tantrums
他才没有暴脾气
he just has strong opinions.
他只是想法十分强烈
Yeah like when you yell and stomp your feet
是是是 就比如大吼并跺脚
and slam the door off its hinge.
然后甩门到把门都弄坏了
They're scientists. You can't trick 'em.
人家是科学家 你骗不了他们
And as for Missy she's just the opposite.
至于米希呢 她就完全相反
Loves to be around people and other kids.
她十分乐意与其他大人小孩相处
Makes friends easy.
很善于交朋友
Does she have temper tantrums as well
她也有暴脾气吗
Nope. She's very even keeled.
没有 她脾气十分温顺
Except for when she's eating.
除了她在吃东西的时候
You put your hand near her face when she's working on a lamb chop
你要是在她吃羊排时 把手放靠近她脸
she will bite off a finger.
她就会咬掉你手指
Our daughter doesn't bite.
我们女儿才不咬人
Right here Thanksgiving 1986.
看这印子 1986年感恩节咬的
Was there anything unusual about your pregnancy
在您怀孕期间有过任何不寻常之处吗
No not that I remember. Really
-没有啊 完全没任何印象 -是吗
You cried for like seven months.
你哭了大概有足足7个月吧
Those were tears of joy.
那是喜悦之泪
What about all those times you punched me
无数个锤在我身上的拳头呢
Punches of joy.
那是爱的小粉拳
You're not gonna get much out of Fred and Wilma here.
你们从阿呆夫妇身上是问不出什么的
Why don't you just get crackin' on the kids
你们还是开始研究孩子吧
Okay Sheldon this first battery of tests measures
好的 谢尔顿 这第一套测试题目呢
basic problem solving abilities.
主要是测试你们的解决问题能力
Is the Kaufman test or the Wechsler Intelligence Scale
是考夫曼教育成就测试还是韦氏智力测验
Are you familiar with those
你对它们熟悉吗
It's embarrassing
说来有点丢人
but I enjoy a little light reading in the bathroom.
但我喜欢在上大号时读一点轻松的读物
Okay. Are you ready
好了 你准备好了吗
Will I be timed Yes.
-我会被计时吗 -会
Fantastic.
太棒了
Okay Missy
好了 米希
the first thing we're gonna do is test
我们首先要测试的呢
your problem solving ability.
是你解决问题的能力
Okay. You ready
-好 -你准备好了吗
What's that
什么问题
Do you always wear your hair up
你平常都是把头发扎起来的吗
Uh well usually at work yes.
通常上班的时候都会扎
I bet it looks cute down.
我相信放下来一定很好看
Thank you. Okay
谢谢 好啦
you're all set.
你准备好了吧
Is that camera gonna be on
会用摄像机录吗
Yes.
Can you move it over to that side
那你能把它移到另一边吗
Why
为什么
If I've learned one thing from school picture day
学校的拍照日我唯一学到的一件事
it's that I look better from that side.
那就是我的脸从另一边拍比较好看
Sure I'll move it.
行 我去移
Okay...
好啦
And bring it a little closer.
再近一点
How's that
怎么样
Great. Okay.
-很好 -好了
Whenever you're ready. Wait.
-你可以随时开始 -等等
Do I have any Oreos in my teeth
我牙齿有沾上奥利奥吗
No.
没有
Ready to start One last thing.
-可以开始了吗 -还有一个问题
Did you ever think of wearing that white coat with a belt
你有没有想过用腰带把白大褂束起来
No. You should.
-没有 -你应该这么做
'Cause you have a very nice figure
因为你身材很好
and it's lost in there.
但都被白大褂遮住了
Hey check this out.
都过来看
Did you see Honey I Shrunk the Kids
你有没有看过《亲爱的 我把孩子缩小了》
No. You should.
-没有 -你应该看的
'Cause there's a lot of good science stuff in it.
因为电影里有很多好的科学内容
Kudos on the question
"哪辆火车先抵达
"Which train gets to St. Louis first "
圣路易斯"这个问题问得好
I have to tell you something.
我得跟你说个事
Why don't you finish the test first.
不如你先把测试做完
This can't wait.
这事等不了
The other doctor's got a crush on you.
另外一位医生暗恋你
Oh dear Lord.
老天爷啊
I don't... I don't think so.
他应该没有吧
Let's get back to the test.
继续做测试吧
Okay.
好吧
Why What did you see
怎么 你看到什么了吗
When you're not looking he stares at your tushy.
你不注意的时候 他盯着你屁股看
Really
真的吗
Imagine if you wore the belt.
想想你要是束了腰带会怎么样
Clever girl.
丫头真机灵
That would accentuate her buttocks.
那样会凸显她的屁股
I can't watch. Switch it back to Sheldon.
我看不下去了 换回谢尔顿那边
Hot dog syllogisms.
哎妈 三段论
If all squares are parallelograms
如果所有四方形都是平行四边形
and all squares are rectangles
同时所有四方形都是长方形
then some parallelograms are rectangles.
那么有一些平行四边形就是长方形
Who was this test made for children
这些测试是给谁做的 小屁孩吗
I'm bored. Turn it back to Missy.
好无聊 换回米希那边
Go ahead.
换吧
This question about a train going to "S T" Louis makes no sense.
这个关于火车开往"又土"路易斯的问题不合理
It's okay to guess.
不会可以乱猜
Take your time baby. The meter's running.
慢慢来 宝贝 计费表在跑呢
Well thank you all very much.
非常感谢各位
This was a great start.
这是个很好的开始
Thank you. Did you have fun
谢谢 你们玩得开心吗
I got to take a test on a Saturday heck yeah
我周六还能做测试 当然爽翻了
He's like a young version of me but without corrective shoes.
他就像年轻版的我 除了没穿矫正鞋
Missy what'd you think
米希 你觉得呢
The tests were just okay
测试还行吧
but I like Sandra.
但我喜欢桑德拉
Well thank you Missy. I like you too.
谢谢你 米希 我也喜欢你
All right
好吧
we'll see y'all next Saturday.
我们下周六再见了
You bet we will.
我们一定来
Good God George have a little dignity.
老天 乔治 你可要点脸吧
Are you doing something different with your hair
你是不是换了发型
No uh why
没有啊 怎么了
No reason just looks nice.
没什么 挺好看的
Oh Thank you.
谢谢你
Um uh what do you think about maybe stopping for a drink after
等会要不要一起去喝一杯
to discuss the test results
讨论一下测试结果
I would like that.
乐意之至
Oh yeah.
正点
Get down.
接着跳
We're home.
我们回来了
What you watching Soul Train.
-你在看什么 -黑人音乐节目《灵魂火车》
I like trains.
我也喜欢火车
It's not that kind of train dummy.
不是那种火车 呆子
Well that seems like false advertising.
那岂不是虚假宣传
《小型船只》
Ooh you sexy little thing.
你这性感的小东西
George
乔治
I do not like what this study is doing to Sheldon.
我不喜欢这个测试对谢尔顿产生的影响
What're you talking about He had a great time.
你在说什么呢 他玩得很开心啊
All the way home all he could talk about
他回家一路上都在说
is how that doctor thought he was so smart. It's not healthy.
那个医生认为他有多聪明 这样不健康
Would it make you feel any better
我要是告诉你 我们今天
if I told you how much money we made today
赚了多少钱 你会好过些吗
No it would not.
并不会
$300.
三百块
Really ‭Cash.
-真的吗 -现金
Okay well still I...
好吧 但仍然
I'm not interested in profiting off my children.
我没兴趣利用我家孩子赚钱
You see honey that's where you and I are very different.
老婆 你跟我在这方面很不一样
Boats.
Sheldon what do you think
谢尔顿 你认为
is happening in this picture
这幅画里正发生什么
Easy. There are four chimpanzees in a living room.
很简单 有四只黑猩猩在客厅里
一周后
Okay but what can you tell me about them
好 但你认为它们在做什么
They're not behaving like chimpanzees.
它们的行为不像黑猩猩
Anything else
还有呢
Chimpanzees don't drink tea.
黑猩猩不喝茶
Is that it
就这么多吗
Well I suppose it might be coffee
也可能是咖啡
but they don't drink that either.
但它们也不喝咖啡
Anything interesting about their body language
它们的肢体语言有什么特别之处吗
No.
没有
I think they found his kryptonite.
他们好像发现他的死穴了
Missy
米希
what do you think is happening in this picture
你认为这幅画里正发生什么
The girl monkey on the couch
沙发上的女猴子
is telling the guy monkey a secret.
正跟男猴子说八卦
Must be something juicy 'cause he's smiling.
料一定很猛 因为他在笑
Anything else
还有呢
It might be dirty
有可能是下流八卦
'cause this girl monkey is sending
因为这只女猴子
the kid monkey out of the room.
正把宝宝猴子赶出房间
He doesn't want to go. He looks sad.
他不想走 他看起来很难过
Is that all
就这么多了吗
The monkeys on the couch are drinking tea
沙发上的两只猴子在喝茶
so it's a tea party.
所以这是个茶话会
Okay very good. Let's look at another picture.
非常好 我们再看看另一幅画
I'm not done. The monkey in the painting
我还没说完 画像里的猴子
is wearing an old lady hat
戴着老女人帽子
so she's probably a meemaw monkey.
她很可能是姥姥猴子
She's not at the party
她没参加茶话会
so she must be bowling or dead.
所以一定是在玩保龄球或者死了
Well Missy won that round.
这一轮米希赢了
It's actually not a contest George.
其实这不是比赛 乔治
This is Texas. Everything's a contest.
这里可是德州 任何事都是比赛
A woman in a doorway.
一个女人站在门口
Anything else
还有呢
She's holding her head with her hand.
她正用手扶着头
And what do you think that means
你认为这是什么意思
Wouldn't you rather ask me about trains going to St. Louis
你不会更想问我火车开往圣路易斯的问题吗
Good gravy she's sad Sheldon come on.
要死了 她很难过 谢尔顿 快回答
Oh she's very upset.
她很难过
I don't know why.
我不知道为什么
Oh Maybe she wasn't invited
或许因为没人
to the tea party at the monkey house.
邀请她参加猴子家的茶话会
Also she's wearing a belt like you are.
她还系了腰带 跟你一样
Nice going. Very cute.
干得漂亮 很好看
Thank you.
谢谢你
And I'm loving the hair.
我也很喜欢你的发型
A lion sitting in a chair holding a pipe.
一只狮子坐在椅子上 手里拿着一根管子
Good.
很好
But what do you think is on his mind
但你觉得他在想什么
How should I know Maybe he's wondering
我哪知道 或许他正纳闷
why he's posing for a silly picture
自己为什么在为一幅蠢画摆姿势
instead of eating a gazelle.
而不是吃羚羊
Anything else
还有呢
What exactly are we doing here
我们到底在干什么
I thought the purpose of this study
我还以为这个研究
was to find out how smart I am.
是为了搞清楚我有多聪明
That's what we're doing
我们正是在做这个
but there are different kinds of intelligence.
但人有各种各样的智慧
Poppycock
瞎扯淡
There's only one kind of intelligence...
只有一种智慧
George Sheldon's getting upset.
乔治 谢尔顿不开心了
I don't like it.
我不喜欢这样
All right I'll just change it back to Missy.
好吧 那我换回米希那边
You are an insightful young lady.
你是一位富有洞察力的年轻女士
I don't know what that means but thank you.
我不知道那是什么意思 不过谢啦
It means perceptive.
就是有领悟力的意思
You see things most people miss.
你能看到大部分人忽略的东西
My name is Missy go figure.
我的名字是米希[忽略] 你自己想想
Have you always been that way
你一直是这样的吗
I guess so. I think when you're on your own a lot
应该是吧 你经常独自一人时
you get good at seeing that kind of stuff.
就会擅长发现这些东西
Really My dad does football with my older brother
-真的吗 -我爸常跟我哥玩橄榄球
so they're like a team.
所以他俩是一队的
And my mom and meemaw spend all their time fussing over Sheldon
我妈和姥姥把时间都花在操心谢尔顿上
so they're like a team too.
所以他们仨是一队的
So no one's on your team
这么说没人跟你一队了
Nope.
没有
It's just me.
就我一个
Oh Lord.
天啊
Hey what's up with you and Dr. Pillsbury
你跟皮尔斯伯里博士到哪一步了
Dr. Pilson
你是说皮尔森博士
I don't know what you're talking about.
我不知道你在说什么
Oh. You can't say 'cause we're on camera.
你不能说 因为摄像机在拍
Insightful.
富有洞察力呢
A little late for me to start cooking.
现在开始做饭有点晚了
Why don't we stop somewhere for dinner. ‭Really
-不如找个地方停下吃晚饭吧 -真的吗
The five of us That's kind of pricey.
五个人吃 有点贵
Would you rather buy a fishing boat
你宁愿把钱拿来买小渔船吗
You're a blabbermouth you know that
你真是大嘴巴 你知道吗
Missy we're gonna eat in a restaurant.
米希 我们要下馆子吃饭
Where would you like to go
你想去哪家吃
I get to pick
让我选吗
Why don't I get to pick
为什么不让我选
Because your sister's getting to pick.
因为这次让你姐姐选
It's not just about you in this house.
我们家不是只有你重要
What do you think baby
你说呢 宝贝
I pick...
我选
Red Lobster.
红龙虾餐厅
You got it.
没问题
Damn.
我靠
There goes our per diem.
日补津贴就这么没了
George you got a minute
乔治 你有时间吗
What's up Not you
-什么事 -不是找你
him. What
-找他 -干嘛
Sheldon told me that we get paid to go to that college
谢尔顿告诉我 我们去那所大学回答问题
and answer their questions.
是有报酬的
Yeah so
是啊 所以呢
I want to know how much we're making.
我想知道我们能赚多少钱
Why
为什么
'Cause I want my fair share.
因为我想要我那份
Is that so
是吗
What do you think your fair share is
你觉得你该分多少
Half.
一半
Hm guess that sounds right.
听起来似乎合理
So how much are we making
我们到底能赚多少钱
$7.50 a week.
每周七块五
Really Really.
-真的吗 -真的
Well I want half that.
那我要一半
Which is
那是多少
Hang on.
等等
Sheldon
谢尔顿
Can we put on Soul Train
我们能看《灵魂火车》吗
Why
为什么
There's a girl on there I kind of want to marry.
节目里有个女生我想娶她当老婆
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