小谢尔顿-S02E04_小谢尔顿

S04

S07

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小谢尔顿-S07E01

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I'm very cool

非常酷

Nobody else is stronger than I am

世上没人比我强壮

Yesterday I moved a mountain

昨天我移了一座山

I bet I could be your hero

我相信我能当你的英雄

I am a mighty little man

我是个了不起的小家伙

I am a mighty little man

我是个了不起的小家伙

For most students

对大多数学生来说

the weekend represented two days of fun freedom

周末代表着两天的欢乐与自由

and in the case of my brother

而对我哥哥来说

a chance to ignore all forms of hygiene

那是一个无视任何卫生习惯的机会

Come on come on

快点再走快一点

To me however it represented

对我来说周末代表着

an unwelcome break from education

我不喜欢的学习中断期

Whoo Thank the Lord

感谢老天爷

But this wasn't a typical weekend

但这个周末与平常的不同

because this was the weekend I got to do my parents' taxes

因为这个周末我可以帮我父母报税

Howdy do W 2

欢迎欢迎收入税表

"If you were not covered by a retirement plan

"如果您没有养老金计划

but your spouse was see the worksheet on page 14 "

但您的伴侣有请翻到表格第14页

Try and stop me

没人能阻止我翻过去

Mom I was going through our expenditures

妈我在整理我们的支出的时候

and noticed our grocery bills are up 12% compared to last quarter

发现我们买食品杂货账单比上一季高了12%

Any idea why

你知道为什么吗

There's a person at the end of the table that eats for free

可能是因为桌尾有一个人总来蹭白食吧

There's a person at the other end of the table that eats for three

是因为另一边桌尾有人得食三份吧

I've been buying groceries for the church food drive

我买了不少食物拿去教堂捐给穷人

I think that's it

应该是这个原因吧

Ooh I bet I could write that off

那我肯定这笔支出能冲销

including the gas it took to drive to the grocery store

连带开车去超市与教堂路上的油费

and then to the church

都能一并冲销

With all that driving maybe she can count her car as a home office

开这么多路或许能把车算作是家庭办公室

Sounds aggressive but I like how you're thinking

挺激进的做法但我喜欢你这个思路

None of that is necessary it's for charity

不需要搞那些这是为了做慈善

What's the point of charity if there are no tax benefits

如果没有税务福利那我们还做慈善干嘛

Eat your peas

吃你的豆子

I like how he's thinking

我喜欢他这个思路

You eat your peas too

你也乖乖吃你的豆子

Dad banking question

爸爸有银行相关问题

Whs that buddy

怎么啦小家伙

I noticed there's a check missing

我发现有一张支票不见了

I have a copy of check 128

我这里有第128号支票的副本

and a copy of check 130 but 129 isn't there

还有第130号支票的副本唯独缺了129号

Oh yeah don't worry about it

没事啦不用担心这个

But I enjoy worrying I find it very relaxing

但我就喜欢担心事情我觉得能放松心情

'Course you do

真不意外

I balanced the rest of the account

我算了算帐

and it appears to be a check for $300

那是一张300块的支票

All right well let's just put it down for $300 for miscellaneous

好吧那你就写300块的杂项支出

I've never labeled anything miscellaneous in my life

我此生没给任何东西标为杂项过

I'll go ask Mom

我去问妈

Wait

别走

I just remembered

我想起来了

I gave the money to a friend

我把钱给了一个朋友

Who ‭ It doesn't matter who

-谁啊 -是谁不重要

Why'd you give it to them

那你为什么给人家

They needed it It it's like charity

人家有需要嘛就像是做慈善

Ooh another write off excellent

又可以冲销太棒了

What do you say we keep this quiet

你觉得我们能不说出去这事吗

You mean like a secret

你是指这事是个秘密

No no just you know something between you and me

不也没有啦就是我跟你之间的一件事

What about Mom

那妈妈呢

Mom is on a need to know basis

妈妈知道该知道的就行了

What if Mom needs to know

那万一妈妈需要知道呢

Okay it's a secret

行吧这是个秘密

Just trust me

你相信我

It is better for everyone if she doesn't know about this

她不知道这件事对所有人都好

But I'm not good at keeping secrets

但我很不擅长保密

It's not hard Just keep your mouth shut

不难啊你只要闭上嘴就行

But I'm not good at keeping my mouth shut

但我很不擅长闭上嘴

Sheldon all you got to do is be cool

谢尔顿你只需要上道酷一点就行

"Be cool "

"酷一点"

He might as well have asked me to fly around the backyard

他干脆要求我在后院里飞翔算了

Good night baby Night Mama

-晚安宝贝 -晚安妈妈

Love you Love you too

-爱你 -我也爱你

Oh hello

你好啊

I was just brushing my teeth like I do every night

我刚才是如平常一样去刷牙了

Nothing new there

完全没什么不同之处

You all right

你还好吧

Yes I'm cool

很好啊我很酷

Tell Sheldon what cool means

告诉谢尔顿酷是什么意思吧

Hush

你安静

Sweet dreams

做个美梦

Love you

我爱你

Love you too 'cause you're my mom

我也爱你因为你是我老妈

You're so weird

你真的好奇怪

More than usual

比平常怪吗

No I guess not

那倒没有

Perfect

完美

To avoid looking suspicious

为了不显可疑

I tried to interact with my mom as little as possible

我试着尽量减少与我妈妈有互动

Thankfully it's rude to speak with your mouth full

幸好有礼的孩子食不言寝不语

You look tired baby Sleep okay

你看起来很累有睡好吗

So how big a tax refund you think we're gonna get

你觉得我们今年能退多少税回来呢

Mornin' ‭ Mornin'

-早安 -早

I slept in the nude last night

我昨晚裸睡了

Felt every little breeze

感受到了每一徐微风

Thank you for sharing that

多谢你的分享啊

You're welcome

不客气

Mare we got any batteries

阿丽家里还有电池吗

Look in the drawer by the refrigerator

去冰箱旁边的抽屉看看

There was only so much food I could eat

我的食量有限不可能总在吃东西

so I started avoiding my mother whenever possible

所以我剩下的时间都尽力躲我妈

What are you doing in there

你在里面干嘛

Keeping your secret

为你保密

You got to pull it together

你得振作起来啊

This is me pulling it together

这已经是我振作的样子了

Pull harder Find 'em

-那就再多振一点 -找到了吗

Yeah Got 'em Thanks

找到啦谢谢

You're very welcome

不客气

Hey have you noticed anything off with Sheldon

你有发现谢尔顿最近怪怪的吗

Uh no no no Can't say that I have Why

没没有啊没发现怎么了

He's been awful quiet and at the risk of being indelicate

他最近异常安静而且虽然这么做不好

he's gone several days without a bowel movement

但我发现他有好几天没有上过大号了

How do you know that

你怎么知道的

Well I was worried about him

我很担心他嘛

so I took a look in his potty journal

所以我去看了他的如厕日志

He's still keeping that thing huh

他还在写那玩意呢

Oh yeah that's why he wanted the Polaroid camera

对啊所以他才跟我们要了一台拍立得相机

Uh well I'm sure he's gonna be fine

我相信他一定没事啦

uh but I'll keep an eye on him

不过我会多留意他

Thank you You got it

-谢谢 -小事

She's gone Thank you

-她走了 -谢谢

Batteries are in this drawer

电池在这个抽屉里

We got a problem

有麻烦了

I don't know how much longer Sheldon can hold out

我不知道谢尔顿还能保守秘密多久

This is why I did not want you to write a check

这就是为什么我让你别用支票嘛

Well I'm sorry but I didn't have that kind of cash lying around

给您添麻烦啦但我平常没那么多现金

I do not want Mary to find out about this

我不想玛丽发现这件事

Well what about Sheldon

那谢尔顿怎么办

The kid hasn't pooped in days he might pop

这孩子好多天没上大号了他会炸的

Slip a little Metamucil into his apple juice he'll be fine

给他的苹果汁里加点纤维粉就没事了

Why don't we just come clean

我们就去坦白不好吗

All right sure we could do that

好啦我们是也可以去坦白

You could rat me out to Mary and

你可以去跟玛丽告我状

I could tell her what you did at the church picnic

那我也可以告诉她你在教会野餐时做的事

Come on

你不是吧

Now you're just playing dirty

你也太损了吧

We sink or swim together George

乔治我们生一起生死就一起死

We sink or swim together

生一起生死一起死

Grandmas are supposed to be nice

当姥姥的不都应该很善良吗

What went wrong with you

你是哪里出了毛病

Avoiding my mother in our own house

在我们自己家中躲我妈妈

was proving to be difficult

已被证明十分有难度

so it was time to get creative

所以我得想点妙招

Hello I'd like to book a room in your hotel

您好我想在你们的旅馆订个房间

I'd be arriving tonight

我今晚就要入住

No it's just me

不就我一个人

Ooh a queen bed that sounds fancy

女皇[大号]床吗听起来很华丽

And how much would this room cost

那这房间的房费是多少呢

Wow Is that per month

这价格是月费吗

Per day

是一晚的啊

By any chance do you have a children's rate

那冒昧问一下你们有没有儿童优惠价呢

We've been friends for a while now haven't we

我们当朋友也有些日子了吧

I suppose so

大概吧

Given that how would you feel about a sleepover

所以你觉得去对方家过夜玩怎么样

Sure Your mom lets you watch TV

没问题你妈妈都让你看电视

Jake and the Fatman is on tonight

今晚有我喜欢的刑侦犯罪剧呢

I meant we could sleep at your house

我是说我去你们家过夜

But you'll miss Jake and the Fatman

但这样你就会错过看剧啊

Even better So what do you say

那更好了你意下如何

I'll have to ask my mom

我得先请示一下我妈妈

Well be sure to tell her I'm clean I'm well behaved

那你记得告诉她我很讲卫生又有礼貌

and if you don't have a lot of room

而且我还不占地方

I can fit in really tight spaces

能塞进特别窄小的空间

So your first sleepover

第一次去朋友家过夜

Pretty exciting huh

挺兴奋的吧

No It's not exciting it's constipating

才不兴"粪"呢我是便秘

and I'm only doing it to avoid Mom

我这么做也只是为了躲老妈

But still it's your first sleepover

但始终还是你第一次去朋友家过夜

It's fun stuff

很好玩的

Okay I know you're having a tough time with this

好啦我知道你心里憋得慌

but you're doing great

但... 你表现得很棒了

You spend some time at Tam's house

你去丹家玩一玩

you know clear your head and come back home refreshed

把脑海里的烦恼甩去然后崭然一新地回家

And then I can tell Mom

然后我就能告诉妈妈了吗

Oh no you can never tell Mom

不行你永远不能告诉你妈

Wouldn't it be easier to just be honest

你直接坦白不会比较简单吗

Usually it would be but

通常会但这事嘛...

sometimes the truth can hurt people Hmm

有时候真相会伤人

We wouldn't want to hurt Mom right

我们不想让妈妈伤心的吧

Of course not

当然不

Attaboy

乖孩子

Hey here's a funny prank you can try tonight

教你一个今晚你可以玩的恶作剧

When Tam falls asleep put some shaving cream in his hand

等丹睡着了之后你就挤刮胡膏到他手上

and then tickle his nose

然后瘙痒他的鼻子

Why

为什么

'Cause then he'll go to

因为他就会...

you know scratch his nose

你懂的给鼻子抓痒嘛

and he gets shaving cream on his face

然后他就会把刮胡膏弄得满脸

And then what

然后呢

Well that that's it

就这样啊

But I'm a guest in their home

但我是去人家家里做客

and that doesn't seem like a very good way

用这种方式回报人家

to repay their kindness

大方收留我不太好吧

Never mind

算了

And what if the shaving cream gets in his eyes

而且如果刮胡膏弄到他眼睛里怎么办

That would sting

会很刺痛的吧

Sorry I mentioned it

抱歉我不该提的

Also I didn't bring my own shaving cream

而且我没带自己的刮胡膏

I'd have to use his dad's and that

我就得用他爸爸的这样...

Forget it

别说了

Hello

您好

Hi You must be Mrs

你好你一定是...

Tam's mom

丹的母亲

I'm Sheldon's dad George Cooper

我是谢尔顿的爸爸乔治·库珀

Nice to meet you

幸会

Thanks for letting him spend the night

谢谢你收留他过夜

It's his first sleepover He's excited

这是他第一次到朋友家过夜他很兴奋

Actually I'm quite apprehens

其实我还挺...

He's really looking forward to it

他十分期待

Uh in case something comes up just give us a holler

如果有任何事情喊我们一声就行

I mean a call If you hollered we wouldn't hear you

我是指打电话如果你用喊的我们家听不到

That that was a joke

我刚才是在说笑啦

Ha ha ha

哈哈哈

Okay buddy have fun

好啦小家伙玩开心点

Visiting Tam's house for the first time

第一次到丹家

was an emotional roller coaster

简直像坐情感过山车

For example it's traditional in Vietnamese homes

比如说越南人有个传统

to have gruesome religious iconography near the entrance

会在入门处摆放可怕的宗教肖像

I did not like that

我不喜欢

However it's also customary

不过他们通常

to not wear shoes around the house

进屋后会脱掉鞋子

for sanitary reasons

出于卫生考量

I did like that

这一点我喜欢

Interestingly

有趣的是

one of the main ingredients in Vietnamese cooking

越南菜其中一种主要成分

is an extremely pungent condiment known as fish sauce

是一种叫鱼露的刺鼻调味料

I did not like that

我不喜欢

But before every meal

但每次吃饭前

it's common for everyone to wash their hands and face

大家都会先洗手洗脸

I did like that

这一点我喜欢

Forks are not customary in a Vietnamese household

越南人家里通常不会有叉子

I did not like that

我不喜欢

And instead of napkins there was one towel

另外餐桌上没有纸巾

for everyone to share at the table

大家共用一条毛巾擦嘴

Seriously what are they thinking

说真的他们是不是傻

I can't help thinking how odd it is

我还是觉得好奇怪

that Shelly volunteered to go on a sleepover

谢利居然会主动到别人家过夜

Oh I don't know

我也不知道

Hmm He's growing up

他长大了

It's natural for a young boy to want to spread his wings a little bit

小男生想出去闯闯尝试新事物

try something new

是很正常的

That's nonsense

胡说八道

Last week I brought home

上周我买回家的

the Raisin Bran with the sugar on the raisins

葡萄干麦片的葡萄干上有糖粉

He almost lost his mind

他差点崩溃暴走

If you ask me

要我说

you're worried about nothing

你是杞人忧天

Maybe it's me

说不定是我

Maybe I did something to upset him

是我做了什么让他不开心了

What are you talking about

你在说什么傻话

He loves you like crazy

他爱死你了

Much more than he loves this one

比对他爸的爱多多了

It's true

是真的

I don't know

我不知道

I just feel like something isn't right

就是觉得有什么不对劲

Mom

妈妈

I got my hair stuck in my zipper

我头发被拉链夹住了

That's the kid you need to be worried about

你该担忧的是那个孩子

Okay Connie why don't we just come clean

康妮我们何不坦白告诉她呢

不行

You heard her

你也听到她说的了

Now she's blaming herself

她现在在责怪自己

And Sheldon's so upset

而谢尔顿很难过

he's he's acting like a regular kid

他都像个正常孩子一样了

All right let's tell her Thank you

-好吧我们告诉她 -谢谢你

But first I'm gonna tell her what you did at the picnic

但我要先告诉她你野餐时做了什么事

Oh Mary Okay okay shh

-玛丽啊 -好了安静

I don't know how much longer we can keep this going

我不知道我们还能瞒她多久

I'm willing to find out

我拭目以待

"卡亚战神"

So this game is called Mystic Warlords of Ka'a

这个游戏叫做"卡亚战神"

It's pretty fun

很好玩的

There are six kinds of secret warlords

里面有六种秘密的战神

Secret warlords It's a secret Secret

-秘密的战神 -这是秘密秘密

It's a secret

这是个秘密

Have you noticed anything off with Sheldon

你有发现谢尔顿最近怪怪的吗

Something between me and you

就是我跟你之间的一件事

Mom is on a need to know basis

妈妈知道该知道的就行了

I took a little look in his potty journal

我去看了他的如厕日志

It's a secret Several days without a bowel movement

-这是个秘密 -我发现他有好几天没有上过大号了

Sheldon Secret ‭Secret

-谢尔顿 -秘密秘密

A secret Sheldon

-秘密 -谢尔顿

Did you hear anything I said

你有听到我说的话吗

Sorry I was reliving a traumatic experience

抱歉我刚才在重温一段创伤的经历

What do you mean

什么意思

Tam I have a secret that's weighing on me

丹我有个秘密快把我压垮了

and I need to tell someone

我得说出来

Okay Tell me

那告诉我吧

But I promised I wouldn't

但我保证过不会说出来

Okay Then don't

那就别说了

But it's driving me crazy

但我快被逼疯了

Too bad you're not Catholic

可惜你不是天主教徒

You could confess it to a priest

不然就可以跟神父告解了

That's a great idea

这是个好主意

You're Catholic I'll confess it to you

你是天主教徒我向你告解好了

I'm not a priest

但我不是神父

I'm not a Catholic

我也不是天主教徒

It makes perfect sense

所以这么做完全合理

Okay whenever you're ready

好吧你随时可以开始

What are you doing

你在干什么

I'm assuming the position

我在进入角色

Okay

好吧

Forgive me Tam for I have sinned

原谅我丹我有罪

This is my first confession

这是我第一次做告解

I forgive you my son

我原谅你孩子

I was doing my parents' taxes and noticed a check was missing

我帮爸妈报税时发现有张支票不见了

I asked my father about it As I walked Tam

-我去问我爸 -随着我给丹

through the whole sordid affair

娓娓道来这件丑事

I could feel a weight lifting off my shoulders

我能感觉到肩头的重担慢慢减轻

It was a relief to finally unburden myself

终于把内心的秘密说了出来

of this deception

我如释重负

By the time I reached the end

等我把这事说完后

I felt like a new person

我仿佛脱胎换骨

That's the whole story

整件事就是这样

Cool Can we play now

好能开始玩了吗

And now that my conscience had been cleared

现在我良心上的巨石放下了

my colon was ready to do the same

结肠里的"巨屎"也要蜂拥而出

Excuse me I need to use your bathroom

不好意思我要借用一下洗手间

Thank you for letting me sleep in your bed

谢谢你把床让给我睡

My father taught me that we must always honor our guests

我爸说必须以礼待客

and treat them with the utmost courtesy

给他们最好的款待

The Vietnamese are a very welcoming people

越南人很好客

Yeah that hasn't always worked out for us

是的但我们越南人也因此吃了亏

Do you think your dad would ever ask you

你觉得你爸会不会有一天

to keep a secret from your mom

叫你瞒着你妈一件事

Oh no

不会

He's so honest it's annoying

他特别诚实很讨厌

Enough talking

别再聊天了

Sleep now

赶紧睡觉

She's just annoying

她就是纯讨人厌

Well you did it

你做到了

How was your first sleepover

第一次到朋友家过夜怎么样啊

They feed you any weird food

他们给你吃奇怪的食物了吗

When I was in 'Nam we ate fish soup for breakfast

我在越南时我们早餐都喝鱼汤

Sheldon I'm talking to you

谢尔顿我在跟你说话

Well I'm not talking to you

但我不要跟你说话

Okay what's going on

怎么了

After having my first good night's sleep in a week

我终于睡了这一周以来第一次好觉

I woke up with a fresh perspective

我睡醒后有了全新的看法

And that is

什么看法

It was irresponsible of you

你让我保守那个秘密

to burden me with that secret

是不负责任的行为

Sheldon we've been through this

谢尔顿我们聊过这个了

It's complicated

这事很复杂

While I may not look up to you from an intellectual standpoint

虽然我可能没把你当成学术上的榜样

I've always looked up to you as a role model

但我一直把你视为人生楷模

I can't do that anymore

我以后无法这么做了

And don't worry we made a deal

别担心我答应过你

I'll continue to keep your secret

我会继续保守你的秘密

What's up

什么事

Um I need to tell you something

我有件事要告诉你

What did you do

你做了什么

When Sheldon was doing our taxes

谢尔顿给我们计税时

he noticed a missing check

发现少了一张支票

What did you do

你到底做了什么

Before I answer do you trust me enough

在我回答前你是否足够信任我

to understand it was for a good reason

明白我那么做是有好理由的

and j just leave it at that

不会再追问细节

What did you do

你究竟做了什么

It's all your mother's fault She is a bad person

都是你妈的错她这人可坏了

I've been telling you for years

我跟你说了好几年了

What did you do

你做了什么

Okay now before I answer that

在我回答之前

Just tell me what you did

快告诉我你做了什么

I got a DWI

我被开了酒驾罚单

Mom

妈妈

It's not as bad as it sounds

没有听起来那么严重

How is driving drunk not bad

醉驾哪里不严重了

I wasn't exactly driving

当时其实不是我在开车

I don't follow

我没听懂

I was at the dog track with Georgie

我跟小乔治去看赛狗

and I had a few

我喝了几...

Georgie

小乔治

With God as my witness

老天爷作证

I've never been to the dog track in my life

我这辈子从没去看过赛狗

She knows

她知道了

Oh I've been there a bunch

我去过好多次

Will someone please tell me what happened

谁来告诉我到底发生了什么

Okay me and Meemaw were in the bar at the track

好吧我和姥姥在赛狗场的酒吧里

You took him to a bar

你居然带他进酒吧

He wasn't drinking

他又没喝酒

She had a few too many margaritas

她玛格丽塔酒喝多了

so I drove us home

于是由我开车回家

But you don't have a license

但你没有驾照啊

That's why we swapped places after the cop pulled us over

所以我们被交警拦下来后交换了位置

Oh dear Lord

我的老天爷

I had nothing to do with this part

这部分不关我的事

Shut up

闭嘴

Will do

已闭

I didn't want Georgie to get into trouble

我不希望小乔治惹上麻烦

so I got behind the wheel

所以在警察过来前

before the cop walked up

我换到了驾驶位上

And then I got arrested and uh

然后我被捕了

he bailed me out

他来保释我

So you all thought you should keep this from me

你们都觉得这事不该告诉我

Absolutely ‭ 100% ‭

-当然 -毫无疑问

Okay here's what's gonna happen

好吧接下来这么办

you and you are staying at her house

你和你都到她家去住

until I say otherwise

直到我改变主意为止

One could argue I was the hero in this story

有人会说我其实在这次事件中是英雄

You went gambling and you drove without a license

你去赌博并无证驾驶

and you lied to my face

还当着我的面说谎

Heroically

像个英雄般

出去

I love everything about this

这场大戏的每一部分我都好爱

I'm guessing you're mad at me

你应该生我气了吧

Aw forget about it

算了吧

I appreciate you not

很感谢你没有...

ratting me out about the picnic

抖出我野餐的事

Well we had a deal

我们说好了的

Besides your marriage is already hanging by a thread

再说你的婚姻已经岌岌可危了

It is dangling there

确实命悬一线

All right well I'm gonna turn in

好了我去睡了

Good night

晚安

Night

晚安

Hello

喂

So get a load of this

你听仔细了

Last church picnic your husband snuck in a six pack

上次教会野餐你老公偷带了六罐啤酒

polished off the whole thing

一个人全喝光了

then went to wait in line for the bathroom

然后去排队上厕所

You got an extra toothbrush

你有新牙刷吗

Under the sink darlin'

在水槽底下亲爱的

Thanks

谢了

You got it

不客气

So then the big gorilla decides he doesn't want to wait in line

之后这只大猩猩决定不排队了

so he stumbles over to the church vegetable garden

于是他摇晃着跑到教会的菜园

and proceeds to irrigate the whole damn thing

好好地灌溉了那块地

I've eaten those vegetables

我吃过那里种的蔬菜

Sweet dreams

祝你睡得香