Previously on Young Sheldon

You know that Mr Rosenbloom

with the furniture store over by the steak house

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He's asked me to dinner

Is he your boyfriend

Well he's one of them so let's not bring that up

All right so what can I do for you

What's it like to be Jewish

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Oh it's terrible I don't recommend it

Yeah

Connie I would like to have dinner with you tonight

This is very promising

Dr Sturgis and Meemaw

had their first sleepover

It's a big step in their relationship

I'm going to go congratulate them

Hey put on a jacket it's chilly out

I have only seen you eat vanilla ice cream for dessert

Why is that Well I've taken a page

from the great physicist Richard Feynman

In order to have one less decision in his life

he decided that dessert would always be chocolate ice cream

Sounds like it could get kind of boring

Oh it does

But over the last 35 years

I believe I've saved at least a day and a half

Well you have to let me cook for you sometime

But I enjoy cooking for you

It's a means of expressing my affection

It also allows me to control the amount of garlic

which gives me the burps

Well I do make a mean barbecue

and I promise I can make it garlic free

Excellent

Next time you can express your affection for me

Excuse me

I bet it's Sheldon checking on us

What

Connie It's Ira

I'm uh

I It's Sheldon

He sounds a little agitated

I'm gonna take it in the other room

Just

Hello again

Listen I'm wondering what you're doing this weekend

I miss you

Cool cool

You want to go to a movie

or bowl a few frames

Uh you know listen it's not a great time right now

Um I have a little family over

and can I call you later

Yeah Yeah I'm sorry I I don't want to interrupt

I just miss hearing your voice

Well here it is

coming right up out of my throat

Um okay

so uh uh bye

Bye bye

How's Sheldon doing

What Sheldon

You were talking to Sheldon

Oh right yes

Did you know he has a picture of that fella Feynman in his bedroom

What So do I

Peas in a pod

Oh darn

Excuse me

Yes

How's it going

It's Sheldon again

What do you mean "again"

Speak

I recently read an article

about a superconducting supercollider

that might be built in Texas

What about it

Well I thought if there was a lull

in your dinner conversation

you might casually drop it as an icebreaker

Our dinner conversation is going just fine

Well now you have it in your back pocket

Carry on

Question will we be engaging in coitus tonight

Because I believe I pulled a hamstring

on the bike ride over

Why didn't you say something

Well I was trying to display machismo

but it's becoming more and more clear

that there's something askew in my groin

Oh John

we don't have to do anything

We can just be together

Thanks

But if it's all the same to you

I'd like to give it the old college try

Nobody else is stronger than I am

Yesterday I moved a mountain

I bet I could be your hero

I am a mighty little man

I am a mighty little man

Here you go

Thank you

So you're really gonna go out

with this furniture store fella

while seeing Dr Sturgis

It's called playing the field

And if you'd done some of that

you wouldn't be saddled with Bluto in there

That's not nice

And is that really necessary

The Italians call it "Corretto "

It means correcting the drink

So a drink without alcohol in it is wrong

Yep

Italian people they know what's up

All right one issue at a time

So you're really gonna date two men simultaneously

Two that you know of Oh Mom

Come on don't be such a prude

I'm not gonna have any babies

I don't need these men to take care of me

Why shouldn't I just enjoy myself

Well it isn't very Christian of you

I got no argument there

Salute

Yeah that fixed it

Oh Meemaw no

Hey who are you calling

Dr Sturgis

Why

I saw Meemaw get in a car with Mr Rosenbloom

No

I don't know if it really happened this way

but to my nine year old mind

my mother was flying

So how's the brisket

It's good

It ain't my brisket but it's good

I should take you to New York

so you could taste some authentic Jewish brisket

How's it different

Well it's pretty much the same except

it's it's a lot juicier and you can feel the fat

go directly to your heart

Oh boy

I miss that laugh

So uh

what do you think of that idea

What idea Going to New York

Maybe we'll catch a couple of Broadway shows

uh see some sights

Oh Ira gee

I don't know

Seems like a big step Is it

I think at this time of our lives

we should travel see the world

I guess I mean

we're not getting any younger

What's that supposed to mean

I mean I mean I'm not getting any younger

You on the other hand

you are a blossoming tulip

Better

But I still don't understand

Your grandmother's a single lady

She's not committed to any one fella

and she wants to see what her options are

But Dr Sturgis is the best option

Well you might feel that way

but she's not so sure

Then we need to tell her I'll make the call

No We need to mind our business

and maybe pray for her to make the right decision

We're gonna leave this up to God

You think you could do a better job than God

Maybe not with creating the universe

but I bet I could free the Hebrews

with one good plague

You can get lox bagels

all the trimmings at 3 30 in the morning

Why would I want that

Well you wouldn't I mean it's too heavy

But you could if you wanted

So what do you think

Oh Ira I don't think so

All right what do you say

to a weekend in New Orleans huh

We could do one of those Carnival Cruise things

You're killing me

I can't do this I

Can't do what

Ira you're just a wonderful man

Oh boy I don't like where this is going

But to tell you the truth

I'm seeing somebody else

And we've gone there

I thought I could do it uh you know date both of you

but I I can't I can't I just

I'm not cut out for it

Okay suggestion

And maybe you've already thought of this

but what do you say you break up with him

and only see me

I'm sorry

I thought I could handle this

It's okay You know

you get older and you think your skin is thicker

It's okay and your heart is tougher

But it's not it's the other way around

I hope this guy knows what a gift he has in you

Well "gift" is a strong word

but he's enthusiastic

Good

May you both be very happy together

I don't want to celebrate too soon

but Meemaw and Mr Rosenbloom are back and he was crying

There'll be more updates as they happen

I'm done

Can I please be excused

Good Lord did you even chew it

Not the recommended amount no

What's your hurry

I need to get back to my viewing post

Fine go ahead

What's he expect to see staring at Meemaw's house

Did you just join this family

The kid's an oddball

He's just excited that Meemaw's dating

a man he looks up to

I wish she could date Tony Danza that'd be cool

What is it with you and Tony Danza

Well the show doesn't come out and say it

but I'm pretty sure he's the boss

I think the blonde lady's the boss

Angela

Who's the oddball now

I'm warning you

once you try my barbecue

it will ruin you to all the others

That's what happened to me with quilted toilet paper

Once I tried the good stuff

everything else felt like a Brillo pad

You paint quite the picture don't you

Oh gosh

Excuse me

Sheldon this is not cute anymore

Connie Tucker

Yes

I have a dinette set from Rosenbloom's Furniture

I didn't buy any furniture

I think it's a gift

Oh boy

I bent down to pick up a book

and I'll be darned if she didn't sneak a look at my derriere

Oh man

You won't believe what's happening at Meemaw's house

Is it more interesting than Who's the Boss

Doubt it

Rosenbloom's Fine Furniture Ira speaking

Why are you sending me furniture

I've decided I can't go away quietly

I'm fighting for your love

With a dinette set

Oh this isn't just any dinette set It's our biggest seller

And it's not pressed wood

it's oak

Ira I don't like this

Would you prefer a leather sectional

Uh what's going on

Can I call you back

I look forward to it

You shouldn't

Okay

I guess you could say

one of my former boyfriends

is trying to win me back with furniture

Huh Impressive

This is real oak

Was that him on the phone

Yes I'm sorry

Interesting

What

Being challenged by another man

is making you more attractive to me

I don't follow

I'll have to do some research

but I'm guessing this is a genetic instinct

that's raising my libido

I need a drink

Can you believe he tried to win me back with a dinette set

I'd give you a dinette set if you'd leave Texas

So would you return it

Hell no I'm keeping it

But then you'll be beholden to him

Would you ever take Ira back

I don't know

He's sweet as he can be but

there's just something about John

He's like a cute little teddy bear you know

A brilliant

bicycle riding

teddy bear

I don't even understand half of what he says

But

when he's not around I just miss him

Sounds like you're falling in love

Maybe I am

Excellent I love him too

Get out of here

If you don't understand what Dr Sturgis says

I'm happy to explain it to you

Get

Excuse me

I'm looking for Ira

At your service What can I do for you

You sir have overstepped your bounds

I'm sorry what

Miss Constance Tucker

made it clear your courtship was no longer welcome

and you responded with six chairs

a table and an expansion leaf

Who are you

John Sturgis

the man she chose

and your romantic rival

I I'm sorry wait what what is it you want from me

I want you to give up your pursuit of Connie

All right I'm gonna have to ask you to leave my store

Very well

The line in the sand has been drawn

Cross it at your own peril

Weirdo

What was that

You heard me

Sir I am a man with feelings

And you have hurt them

I know you've had a number of

gentleman callers

but I've never heard you speak like this before

"Gentleman callers"

And we wonder where Sheldon gets it

I'm sorry y'all find this funny

but this is the first time

my mother's expressed real interest in a man

since Dad died

Forgive me for wanting to know more

You really want to know more

Imagine you're getting on in years

you and your husband about to retire

get a little timeshare in Sarasota

and suddenly

he's gone

and you're all alone

You mourn you cry

but eventually you move on

You start dating a little

and it's all good fun

But always in the back of your mind

there's that question

"Will I be alone in the end "

Why y'all looking at me for

Haven't slept in days

It's like I'm a lovesick teenager

except I remember the Truman administration

Your feelings are understandable

Connie is a remarkable woman

Yes she is

But again I'm sorry I should never have called you weird

I mean eh it was rude

I've been called much worse

A professor once called me ostrobogulous

I had to look that one up

What's it mean

That I'm a weirdo

John you're a great guy

Well you too

But I hope you understand I just

I can't give up on Connie

That's all right

To tell you the truth

I'm finding the competition quite exhilarating

You are

Oh yes

The night the dinette set arrived

I did my first push up in 40 years

I'm sorry but I find that to be uh

what's the word astro boobulous

Ostrobogulous

Ostrobogulous

Exactly

Now give me your best price

on one of these

with a cup holder

John What a pleasant surprise

I have some news for you

What is that

I went to the furniture store and spoke to Ira

Why would you do that

To demand that he respect your wish to be left alone

John it was not your place to do that

Well if it helps

he doesn't plan on leaving you alone

What the hell were you thinking

That I was being chivalrous

By going behind my back

You seem upset

I am upset

And how I handle Ira is my business

Well I hope you do it gently

He's very vulnerable these days

You're friends now

Well I wouldn't say friends

but I could see over time

you know we might

Are you two fighting

No

Oh good

I was almost certain that we were

We are

I'm confused Me too

Is this because you went to the furniture store

He knows about this

Yes All right now listen

if this relationship's gonna have any chance at all

we have to lay down some ground rules

Great I love rules

I do too

I don't want you talking to him about anything

having to do with anything about us

Same with you

And I want you to stop

spying on me with those binoculars

like you're on some kind of African safari

And you cannot talk to Ira

or any of my ex boyfriends for that matter

This list is getting long

Maybe we should write it down

In that moment

I had an epiphany

I could draw up a contract for any social relationship

It was a helpful way to remove ambiguity

in a world that was often hard to understand

Article three

Sheldon will not spy

on Meemaw's house with binoculars

Type that one in bold

Please sign and date

You know Sheldon I'm a notary if that helps

Just when I thought you couldn't get cooler

I would go on

to draw up such contracts throughout my life

with roommates

with my wife

Even with my own children