小谢尔顿-S01E20_小谢尔顿

S04

S07

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小谢尔顿-S07E01

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It was a beautiful morning in East Texas

那是德州东部一个美好的早晨

The kind of morning that made you want to get up

是那种令你想起床

get dressed and test that acceleration due to gravity

穿好衣服测试重力加速度

does not depend on an object's motion

并不受物体的移动影响的早晨

I love Saturdays

我好爱周六啊

The Earth causes the same gravitational acceleration of everything

地球对任何物体都是施加相同的重力加速度

even a doll and a flying Ping Pong ball

无论你是手办还是乒乓球

It's not often a man of science

科学界的人

gets to say "Yippee ki yay " and mean it but

很少真心实意说出"好耶" 但...

Yippee ki yay

好耶

Morning Herschel

早啊赫谢尔

Hey George Uh you didn't see a dog

乔治你没看到有只狗

wandering around here did you

跑来你家这溜达吧

No Y'all get a dog

没啊你们养狗啦

Uh sort of We took him in after my brother in law

算吧我大舅子要搬去有栅栏社区

had to go live in a gated community

我们就收养了这条狗

Oh that sounds nice uh they got a no pets policy

感觉不错啊他们那里禁养宠物吗

He's in jail George

是去坐牢乔治

Right sure

好吧行

In physics nothing feels better than predicting an outcome

物理学里没有什么比预测结果的感觉更棒了

I love predictability

我爱可预测性

The force of gravity predictable

重力可预测

Nuclear fusion predictable

核聚变可预测

My brother peeing in the shower

我哥在淋浴间里撒尿

repulsive but predictable

很恶心但可预测

What isn't predictable

那什么不可预测呢

dogs

狗

I've always been terrified of dogs

我一直都很害怕狗

To me they're nothing but big furry question marks

对我来说它们就是个毛绒绒的庞大问号

Question marks with teeth

长了牙的问号

In panic situations I'd often lose consciousness

在惊慌的时刻我常常失去知觉

This time I only lost my voice

而这次我只失去了声音

Help

救命

Please help

快救命啊

Uh I was just admiring

我只是在欣赏

Grandpa Smurf's unique walking stick

蓝爷爷独特的拐杖

Smurf a loo loo

蓝精灵哟喂呀

That's not my walking stick

那不是我的拐杖

Lunch is ready

午餐好了

Can you go get your brother

你能去叫你弟弟来吃饭吗

I'm watching TV

我在看电视呢

Just go

快去

I have to do smurfing everything around here

这家里什么都他蓝精灵的要我干

I heard that

我听到了

I said "smurfing "

我说的是"他蓝精灵"

And I heard how you said it

我听到了你用这词的方式

She can cut her own crusts off

她自己给自己吐司切边吧

Sheldon

谢尔顿

Who are you

你是谁呀

You're so cute

你真可爱

Be careful

小心点

What are you doing up there

你躲在那上面干嘛

Staying alive

保护性命

Whose dog is this

这是谁的狗啊

I don't know Get help

我不知道快叫人来救命

Well how did he get into the garage

它怎么进我们车库的

Please get help

快请你去找人来救命

Maybe we can keep it

或许我们可以收养它

I'm begging you get help now

我求你了快去找人来

First I have to tell you something

首先我得告诉你一件事

What

什么

Lunch is ready

午餐好了

Will you look at that

你看看

What kind of dog chews through wood

什么狗会咬穿木头啊

Y'all are feeding him right

你们都有喂它吧

Maybe he's teething

或许它是在磨牙

You know when Billy was little

比利小的时候

he chewed right through his playpen

他咬穿了他的围栏

No kidding Only had three teeth

-真的假的 -他只有三颗牙

Mostly gummed it

基本都是靠牙龈咬的

So how y'all want to fix it

所以你们打算怎么处理

Well I figure I'll patch it

我想我可以把这里补上

run some chicken wire along the bottom

然后用细铁丝网围住下面这块

that way he don't chew through it again

这样它就不能再来咬穿个洞了

Hello

你们好

Hey ‭Hey Billy

-你好 -你好啊比利

Was this fence window always here

以前这里就有个围栏窗口了吗

No son that's a new fence window

不是的儿子这围栏窗口是新的

Anybody else getting dizzy

有人感觉头晕吗

Why didn't you call for help

你怎么不叫人救你呢

I tried but no sound came out

我试过了但我发不出声音

You poor thing

可怜的孩子

It was very dirty up there

车库上面好脏啊

Is cleaning the garage your job or Dad's

打扫车库是你还是爸爸的责任

Don't you worry about that

你不用担心那个

Here have some tea

来喝点茶

Chamomile ‭ Yes

-甘菊茶吗 -是的

One teaspoon of honey

加一茶匙的蜂蜜了吗

Yes

加了

An ice cube to cool it off

加了一块冰块来降温了吗

I went with two today

我给你加了两块

You've been through enough

你今天过得太惨了

I prefer one ice cube

我还是比较喜欢加一块冰

Drink it

快给老娘喝了

It's nice when the kids are in bed

孩子们都上床了之后真好

and we can just hang out and relax

我们可以就在这放松聚着

I'm not even gonna respond to that

你这话我连回都懒得回

I finally got him asleep

终于把他哄睡了

He's still pretty shook up

他现在还惊魂未定

Maybe having this mutt next door won't be so bad

或许隔壁养这条狗也不是什么坏事

Shelly could end up getting used to it

谢利说不定哪天就能习惯了

That's true

这倒是真的

Remember when he got all freaked out

还记得他以前总因为

by the fruit at the bottom of yogurt

酸奶底下的水果而小题大做吗

Now he eats it no problem

他现在也能正常吃了

He still makes me stir it

他现在也还是要我帮他搅好啊

Maybe you could start out

或许他可以一步步来

with a small pet and work your way up

先从小动物开始再慢慢适应大的

Like a turtle

比如小乌龟

He says they carry salmonella

他说乌龟带有沙门氏菌

A gerbil

沙鼠呢

Apparently they caused the plague

黑死病的真正元凶好像是它们

What about a bird

那鸟呢

Oh I know that one

这题我来答

They'll steal his hair to make a nest

它们会偷他的头发去筑巢

Mom

妈

At least this time sound came out

至少这次我能发出声音了

I call that progress

我觉得这算是进步

What's going on

怎么了

Your dog got into our house

你家的狗跑进我家里了

How the hell did he do that

它怎么进去的

He pushed in a screen window

它把纱窗给推开了

You think he chewed through the fence again

你觉得它是不是又把围栏咬穿了

All I know is Sheldon's yelling at the dog

我只知道谢尔顿对着这狗吼

and Mary's yelling at me

然后玛丽就吼我

Now I'm looking at you in your underwear

而我现在在这看着你穿着内裤

Damn it Herschel what is going on

要命了赫谢尔怎么了

Oh hey George

你好啊乔治

Hey Brenda

你好啊布兰达

Bucky got in their house

巴基跑进他们家里了

That's funny

这还挺好笑

It might be funny one day not right now

或许哪天回忆起来挺好笑但现在不好笑

Look I'm real sorry George

真的很抱歉啦乔治

I'll keep him tied up it won't happen again

我会把它拴上下次不会这样了

Y'all have a good night

你们晚安

George

乔治

You are not gonna believe this Look

你绝对不敢相信你看

Their dog left a dead squirrel in our living room

他们的狗留了一只死松鼠在我们客厅

Well h he is part hunting dog

它有猎狗的血统

I think that means he likes you

我想这表示它喜欢你们

I'm not interested in winning his affection

我对它的喜爱没有兴趣

I'm interested in keeping dogs and rodents outside of my home

我只对不让狗与啮齿动物进我家有兴趣

Well now hold on

等等

How do we know it was Bucky that left

你怎么知道是巴基

that squirrel in your house

把这只松鼠留在你家的

Maybe that squirrel was already there

或许这松鼠本来就在那里了啊

Why else would a dead squirrel be in my living room

除了它我家客厅怎么可能会有死松鼠

I don't know what kind of house you keep

我哪知道你怎么打理你家的

My house is immaculate

我家一尘不染

George tell them ‭Uh

乔治你告诉他们

She does keep a nice house

他的确把家里打理得很好

Honey it's a pretty good chance it was Bucky

亲爱的的确很可能是巴基留下的

Whose side are you on Yours always yours

-你站谁那边 -你的永远你这边

All right Everyone's upset it's late

好啦现在大家情绪都不好时间也晚了

Maybe we should drop this for tonight

我们今晚这事就先缓缓吧

That's a good idea Okay

好主意好啦

You just keep your dog away from my son

你把你家狗关得离我儿子远点

There you go picking it up again I am sorry

-你又重启战火啦 -抱歉

but their dog broke into our home

但是他们家的狗偷闯进我们家

Something he probably learned from your brother

或许是跟她哥哥学的

How dare you

你好大的胆子

Okay I think that's a good stopping point

好了我觉得在这里停下挺好的

How do we know that your son didn't

我们怎么知道不是你儿子

lure Bucky in to perform weird science experiments on him

引诱巴基想在狗身上做什么奇怪的科学实验

My son was asleep in his bed and you have some nerve

我儿子当时已经上床睡了你好大的胆子...

Night George

晚安啦乔治

Night

晚安

I don't understand why that dog

我真不懂那条狗

is so interested in Sheldon

对谢尔顿这么感兴趣

Maybe Bucky likes the way Sheldon smells

或许巴基喜欢谢尔顿的味道

Your brother washes himself three times a day

你弟弟一天洗三次澡

He has no smell

他没有味道

Here we go animal control

找到了动物管理局

Oh no no

别别

No you don't want to go calling animal control

不行你怎么可以打给动物管理局呢

Why not ‭Because

-为什么不行 -因为

you have to live next door to these people

你还得住在这些人的隔壁呢

They called the cops on Georgie when he played music too loud

小乔治音乐放太大声他们也打给警察了啊

Maybe it was them maybe it was me

或许是他们也可能是我

Anyway the point is

但重点是

you don't can't go throwing gasoline on the fire

你想灭火就不能火上浇油啊

Well they started this fire

是他们自己放的火

and now they're gonna get burned

现在准备引火自焚吧

I believe you've had enough coffee

我觉得你咖啡喝够多了再喝上脑

Listen why don't you let me talk to Brenda

我说要不你让我去跟布兰达谈吧

and just smooth things out

让我来摆平这件事

Why do you think she'll listen to you

你凭什么觉得她会听你的话

Because people like me more than you

因为人们喜欢我多过喜欢你啊

People like me

大家喜欢我啊

I didn't say they don't they just like me more

我没说别人不喜欢你只说更喜欢我

Anyway I see her all the time at bowling

总之我整天在保龄球馆遇见她

I know how to handle her

我知道怎么跟她相处

Fine

行

Thank you

谢谢

Plenty of people like me

很多人都喜欢我好吗

Hey Brenda how's it going

布兰达最近好吗

Your daughter's a pain in my ass that's how it's going

你女儿烦人得要死你说好不好

You don't beat around the bush

你还真是明人不说暗话啊

I've always liked that about you

我一直都喜欢你这点

Connie I've had a long night

康妮我今晚上班够累了

Unless you're looking to bowl I don't want to hear it

除非你是想打球不然我懒得听你废话

Aw now come on

来嘛别这样

Let me buy you a drink and we'll talk about this

让我请你喝杯酒咱们来聊两句

I'm more on your side than you think

我比你想象中更支持你呢

Somehow i doubt that ‭It's true

-我莫名不太敢信呢 -是真的

Don't you think I realize that Mary can be a bit

你以为我就没觉得玛丽有时候是个...

Of a self righteous bitch

自以为是的臭婊子吗

I was gonna say "challenging " but sure let's go with yours

我本来要说"难相处" 但你这么说也可以

It's got a nice rhythm

说起来挺顺口的

Brenda this is by far

布兰达这不得不说

the best bowling alley margarita in town

是我们这里保龄球馆中最好喝的玛格丽塔了

How long you and Herschel been married 18 19 years

你跟赫谢尔结婚多少年了 18 19年了吗

19 but it feels like 30

19年感觉像30年了

Well y'all are a great couple

你们也算是神仙眷侣啦

I just wanted to thank you

我是想谢谢你

for being so patient and kind to my daughter and her family

从我女儿跟她一家人搬过来之后

since they moved in

就对他们包容又友善

It's nothing ‭No it needs to be said

-这没什么 -不我得说出来

You know Mary has a tough job raising those three kids

玛丽养育那三个孩子很不容易

with one of them being you know somewhat special

尤其其中一个还挺...特别的

I can see that ‭ Yeah

-我能理解 -是啊

And having a kind neighbor makes all the difference in the world

有友善的邻居让一切都好多了

Well we try

我们尽力而为

And I know you know how stressful it is

我知道你也很清楚压力有多大

seeing as how you have your own child

因为你也有一个

who is special in his own way

很特别的儿子

What's that supposed to mean

这话是什么意思

Well I mean hey I know Billy is a terrific little boy

我知道比利是个很棒的孩子

but I am sure he has presented you and Herschel

但他一定给你和赫谢尔带来过

with some challenges

不少挑战

If there's a weird kid in the neighborhood

要说我们这区有哪个孩子怪异

it's your grandson

一定是你的外孙

Now hang on I said "special " not "weird "

等一下我说的是"特别" 不是"怪异"

I heard you

我听到了

I said "weird "

我说的是"怪异"

Okay see now Brenda

知道吗布兰达

you don't want to go calling my grandson weird

劝你不要说我外孙"怪异"

when I've just treated you to a margarita grande

因为我刚刚才请你喝了玛格丽塔酒

Well I'm sorry but you shouldn't be inferring

不好意思但你也不该暗示

there's something wrong with my Billy

我家比利有毛病

Darlin' there's no inferring

亲这不是暗示

I've seen the boy sitting in the dirt

我见过你儿子坐在泥地上

eating his own belly button lint

吃他肚脐里的棉絮团

Really Mom This is how you put out the fire

真的吗妈妈你就是这样灭火的

Well at least she got the worst of it

至少她伤得比较重

How you figure that

你怎么得出这结论的

I ripped a big patch of hair out of her head

我把她一大片头发给扯下来了

This will be healed in a week

这淤青一周就会好

She will be wearing a hat till Labor Day

而她到劳动节前都得戴帽子遮丑

I want to be just like you when I grow up

我长大后要像你一样

No you don't ‭Pick again

-不行 -三思啊

Excuse me Ms Hutchins

请问一下哈钦斯老师

Hey Sheldon

谢尔顿好啊

Can you recommend any books on overcoming phobias

你能推荐克服恐惧的书吗

That's in the self help section

那些都在自助书籍区

Follow me I have read them all

跟我来我全都看过

Any phobia in particular ‭ Dogs

-有特指哪种恐惧吗 -狗

Ah cynophobia That's a good one

恐犬病这个不错

Did you know there's over 50 million dogs

你知道光在美国

just in the United States alone

就有超过5千万只狗吗

That's 50 million too many

多余了5千万只狗

Here I read this one to help with my haphephobia

给我读这本来改善我的接触恐惧症

Ah fear of being touched I have that too Was it useful

害怕被碰触我也有这病症有用吗

Well when someone's interested in touching me

等有人有兴趣碰我时

we'll find out

就知道了

The basic premise of the book was that phobias

这本书的基本前提是

were overcome by taking incremental steps

想克服恐惧

toward confronting the phobia in question

必须逐步面对该恐惧

In my case that started with watching a TV show

对我而言就是从看一个

that was adored by children around the world

全天下小朋友都喜欢

but for me was the stuff of nightmares

但于我如同噩梦的电视节目开始

Scooby Doo

史酷比

The next step was to go face to face

下一步就是跟真正的狗

with real dogs

面对面

Albeit through a plate glass window

虽然是透过一扇玻璃窗

Okay that's enough

够了够了

And finally

最后

a close encounter of the third kind

第三种近距离接触

physical contact with a member of the canine species

与一种犬科动物进行身体接触

Hello I'd like to speak with the veterinarian

你好我想找兽医

Well I was hoping you might have one or two dogs

我希望你有一两只处于麻醉状态的狗

under anesthesia that I might come by and pet

能让我来摸一下

Sure I'll hold

好的我等着

Who are you talking to

你在跟谁打电话

The Medford Veterinary Clinic

梅福德兽医诊所

Why

为什么

I'm trying to overcome my fear of dogs

我想克服我对狗的恐惧

before it affects our family any further

不然我们家还得受更大影响

Oh honey you don't have to worry about how it affects us

宝贝你不必担心我们会受影响

Meemaw got punched in the face because of me

姥姥脸上被揍了一拳都是因为我

No that wasn't because of you and for the record

不那不是你造成的再说了

your meemaw gets punched in the face all the time

你姥姥脸上经常挨揍啊

Well I still think I need to take

我仍然认为我需要

some sort of positive action

采取一些积极行动

Hello Yes hello

-喂 -喂你好

Oh that's too bad

真不幸

How about a small fluffy one that's recently died of old age

那有最近老死的蓬毛小型犬吗

Enough

够了

Sorry

抱歉

Now it says here in Mark 12 31

《马可福音》12章31节说到

that you should "Love your neighbor as yourself "

"要爱邻如己"

Anybody like to take a guess what that means Missy

有人想猜猜这是什么意思吗米希

It means to be nice to the people who live next door

意思是要对邻居友善

That's right

没错

But everybody else can go to hell

至于剩下的人就都下地狱去吧

Okay Missy we don't use that kind of language here

米希我们这儿不能说这种话

And if you think about it in this world

如果仔细想想在现在这个时代

with all the ways we can travel everybody's your neighbor

我们有那么多旅行方式所有人都是你的邻居

Yes Sheldon

谢尔顿

How do we love our neighbors

我们的妈妈互相讨厌

when our moms hate each other

我们又如何爱自己的邻居呢

Who does your mom hate Your mom

-你妈妈讨厌谁 -你妈妈

Hey my mom hates your mom Small world

我妈妈也讨厌你妈妈好巧哦

Okay let's hang on a second

好了先等一下

My mom also hates their grandma

我妈妈也讨厌他们的姥姥

'Cause she lost a fight to her

因为她打架输给她了

Nuh uh she won She said so

才不她赢了她说的

All right stop Let's stop

好了都别说了

Now this might be hard to understand

这也许难以理解

but living a loving Christian life

但过充满爱的基督徒生活

isn't always the easiest thing to do

并非易事

Yes Billy

比利

My mom's not crazy about you either

我妈妈也不太喜欢你

Just love your neighbor 'kay

爱你们的邻居好吗

Now I am more than willing to look the other way

我的教区居民之间关系不好

when my parishioners don't get along with each other

我很愿意睁只眼闭只眼

That sort of thing happens but when it becomes a problem

这是常有的事但如果问题影响到孩子

for the children then I have to intervene

我就得插手了

There's no problem here

根本没问题

other than these two thinking that they're better than me

只除了这俩人觉得自己比我强

I don't think it I know it

我不是觉得我知道

I gave your mother a good smacking

我狠揍了你妈一顿

I can give you one too

我也可以让你尝尝厉害

That's big talk from somebody with a comb over

头发横着梳掩饰秃头的人也好意思说

Ladies

女士们

Do I need to remind you that we are Christians

我需要提醒你们我们都是基督徒吗

In all our behavior in all our actions

在我们所有的行为行动中

we must constantly ask ourselves the question

我们都必须不断扪心自问

"What would Jesus do "

"耶稣会怎么做"

Can I say something

我能说几句吗

Would Jesus say it

耶稣会说那些吗

Never mind

算了

In my life

在我人生中

I've often been accused of being a physical coward

我常被说是行动上的懦夫

and for the most part those accusations are correct

大部分时候这说法是对的

But there have been times when I've shown great courage

但我也曾数次表现出巨大的勇气

This was one of them

这就是其中一次

Hello Bucky

巴基你好啊

Are you a good dog

你是乖狗狗吗

Please be a good dog

拜托你乖乖的

Please

拜托了

Now oftentimes when we don't like someone

很多时候我们不喜欢别人

what's happening is we see something in them

是因为看到他们身上有我们自身也有

that we don't like in ourselves

且不喜欢的的缺点

What are you saying

你在说什么

Really That was over your head

不是吧你这都听不懂

I'm saying

我是说

y'all might have more in common than you think

你们也许比想象中有更多共同点

Well don't say both their kids are "special "

千万别说他们的孩子都很"特别"

She does not like that

她可不喜欢听这话

Okay

好吧

Here we go

来吧

Petting the dog

抚摸...狗狗

I'm doing it

我做到了

I've conquered my phobia

我战胜了我的恐惧

You're a good boy Yes you are

你是只乖狗狗你就是

I'm sorry for the unkind things I said to you

抱歉我对你说了那些恶毒话

Me too

我也是

Connie

康妮

What

干嘛

Anything you'd like to say

你有话想说吗

Not particularly

并没有

Mom

妈妈

Okay

好吧

I'm sorry for the things I said

抱歉我说了那些话

and you know what happened at the bowling alley

在保龄球馆发生的事我也很抱歉

As am I

我也是

Here

给

I think this came out of your head

这应该是从你脑袋上掉下来的

He licked me He licked me

它舔了我它舔了我

The dog licked my tongue

那只狗舔了我的舌头

I can still taste it

我嘴里还有那个味道

Call 911

快打急救电话

I think Jesus might go check that out

耶稣应该会去看看什么情况

How's it going in there baby

你在里面怎么样了宝贝

Okay but we're gonna need more Listerine

还行但我需要更多漱口水

I'm proud of him for trying to overcome that damn dog phobia

他试图克服恐狗症我很骄傲

You should tell him that

你应该告诉他啊

Well if he ever leaves that bathroom I will

如果他从浴室出来我会说的

What I can't figure out is why that dog is so drawn to Sheldon

我想不明白的是那只狗为何这么喜欢谢尔顿

Beats me

问倒我了

You say his owner's in the slammer ‭ Yeah

-你说它的主人进监狱了对吗 -是的

Wonder what kind of fella he is

不知道他是什么样的人

百利牌发胶

It's a mystery

真是个谜

I guess we'll never know

恐怕我们永远都不会知道

Hey Moonpie

小饼饼

I got you a little something to help you

我带了样东西

get over your fear of animals

帮你克服对动物的恐惧

A tranquilizer gun

麻醉枪吗

A pet fish

是一条宠物鱼

《鱼·库珀简史》

Why

为什么

Well I thought you could start small and then work your way up

我想着你可以从小的开始循序渐进

Look he's kind of cute

瞧它挺可爱的

He doesn't even care that I'm here I like him

它对我的存在毫不在意我喜欢它

What are you gonna name him

你打算叫它什么

Fish

鱼

Fish

鱼吗

I'm not ready to get attached

我没准备好发生感情

Fish are kind of boring

鱼有点无聊

I know isn't it great

我知道太棒了不是吗

But you can't even pet 'em

但连摸都不能摸

Maybe we can

也许可以呢

Baby what's wrong

宝贝出什么事了

I tried to pet Fish Ah he was so slimy

我试着抚摸鱼它身体好黏滑

Well yeah he's a fish

鱼就是这样的

I put my finger in the top of the tank then I touched him

我把手指伸进鱼缸然后我碰了它

and he bit me

结果它咬我

Oh I'm sure he didn't bite you

它肯定没有咬你啦

I can't breathe

我无法呼吸了

His fish blood is mixing with my human blood

它的鱼血现在跟我的人血混在一起了

Maybe he was just trying to give you a kiss ‭No

-也许它只是想亲你呢 -不

He hates me I never want to see him again

它讨厌我我再也不想看到它

Oh Sheldon you're being silly

谢尔顿别犯傻了

Fish like this don't bite

这种小鱼不会咬人

Look See He's harmless

你瞧毫无杀伤力

Son of a bitch

妈了个逼

Dad killed my fish

爸爸杀了我的鱼

George

乔治

He'll be fine

它不会有事的

Just got to put him back in the bowl

把它放回缸里就好了

Oh George

乔治

完结