小谢尔顿-S01E14_小谢尔顿

S04

S07

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小谢尔顿-S07E01

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Nobody else is stronger than I am

世上没人比我强壮

Yesterday I moved a mountain

昨天我移了一座山

I bet I could be your hero

我相信我能当你的英雄

I am a mighty little man

我是个了不起的小家伙

I am a mighty little man

我是个了不起的小家伙

Well I am happy to report that my potato salad

我很高兴来跟各位报告我的土豆沙拉

The little light of mine - 福音歌曲

is once again the hit of the potluck

又再度成为换菜大餐的热门榜首

That's great honey I feel bad for Pam Staples

-很棒啊老婆 -感觉对不起潘姆·斯特普尔斯

No one's touching her potato salad

都没人要吃她的土豆沙拉

If you feel bad then why are you smiling

如果你觉得对不起人家那你为什么在笑

'Cause sometimes your mommy's a big ol' hypocrite

因为有时候你妈就是个伪君子

Howdy Coopers How we doing today

库珀一家好啊你们今天好吗

Pastor Jeff Thank you Pastor Jeff

-杰夫牧师 -谢谢问候杰夫牧师

Y'all remember my wife Selena

你们还记得我太太萨琳娜吗

Hi Selena Oh yeah

-你好啊萨琳娜 -记得

Que tal

你们好[西语]

You're married to her

你娶了她吗

Why yes I am

怎么啦是啊

You can think it you don't need to say it

有些事你可以想但你不能说出来

How are you liking Medford Selena

你还喜欢梅德福吗萨琳娜

Como te gusta Medford

你喜欢梅德福吗[西语]

我这辈子还没这么无聊过[西语]

She likes it fine

她喜欢

我要去厕所抽烟了

She needs to use the little girls' room

她需要去洗手间一下

Mary could I talk to you for a second

玛丽我能跟你谈两句吗

Sure

没问题

Don't worry I'll bring her right back

别担心我会很快带她回来

Wouldn't worry but okay

不担心不过行吧

Okay

好的

His Spanish is terrible

他的西语好差啊

That's not what she said at all

她说的完全不是那么回事

I don't know if you've heard

不知道你有没有听说

but our church secretary

但我们教堂秘书

Elizabeth Sohinki is currently seeking treatment

伊丽莎白·索恒奇最近要去接受治疗

for a little problem with shall we say

处理一下有关... 应该说是

under the counter medications

不合法药品的成瘾症

Oh So that rumor's true

所以那个谣言是真的

Well she did always seem extremely alert

她的确是整天看起来都神经兮兮

Alert shaky sweaty Anyway

神经兮兮摇摇晃晃大汗淋漓反正呢

we need someone to step in and fill the position

我们需要有人挺身而出接过她的职位

I was wondering if you might consider it

不知道你有没有兴趣考虑一下

It's not just bookkeeping

不只是记账

I'd be in charge of handling the maintenance issues you know

还得负责所有的修缮工作你懂的

plumbing electric what have you

水管电路诸如此类

And I'd also head the planning committee

而且我还成为了计划委员会的领导

for all the social events

所有的社交活动

which of course includes the big three

当然也包含了三大活动

baptisms weddings funerals

洗礼婚礼与丧礼

And here is the cherry on top

锦上添花的部分来了

The sign in front of the church with all the clever sayings

教堂前面那个写着妙语的告示牌

"Be an organ donor give your heart to Jesus"

"做个器官捐赠者把心捐给耶稣"

Exactly

没错

Guess whose job it would be to write those

你猜以后会是谁的职责

Yours

你的

Already working on a couple

我已经开始想了几个了

Listen to this

听听这个

"The best vitamin for a Christian is B1 "

"B1 基督徒最佳维他命"

What

啥玩意

You know be one

B1音似"当个"

Like be a Christian

当个基督徒就是最佳维他命

And also B1 the vitamin

B1本身也是一种维他命

Well now that you explained it it's funny

听了你解释之后就好笑了

Yeah Might be a thinker

是啦这个需要稍微想一下

But there's a lot more where that came from

但我还有源源不绝的各种妙语呢

What about the twins

那双胞胎谁照顾

Well I'll still get 'em off to school every day

我还是会每天载他们去上学

And when they get home

等他们回家了

Mom can keep an eye on 'em till I get back

我妈可以帮我照顾他们到我回家

Think she'll go for it

你觉得她会同意吗

Are you kidding She loves 'em like crazy

这还用说我妈爱死他们了

Fat chance

想得美啊

Oh come on

你干嘛呀

You come on I'm in the prime of my life

你才干嘛呀老娘正在人生巅峰

I got my water aerobics and my salsa dancing

我得去做水上有氧跟跳萨尔萨舞

and my bowling league

还有保龄球队联赛

But you love your grandchildren

但你爱你的孙子孙女啊

I love ice cream too but I don't want to eat it

我也爱冰激凌但这不代表我就会

3 00 to 6 00 five days a week

周一到周五每天下午3点吃到6点

Well I'm very disappointed

我对你好失望

And I'm fine with that

我完全无所谓

Why don't you just get a babysitter

你为什么不去请个保姆呢

Kinda defeats the purpose of making extra money

这样我去赚外快不就白费了吗

Oh yeah right

是啊

All right let's think about it

好吧我想想

Georgie

小乔治呢

Football practice

他有橄榄球练习

And I don't trust him when I'm home Oh

而且连我在家的时候我都不放心他了

Okay now what are we talking about here

好吧不过我们在这穷担心什么呢

Sheldon is intelligent and responsible

谢尔顿又聪明又有责任感

and Missy is his sister

而米希... 是他姐姐

I think they'll be fine home alone

我觉得他们放学后

all by themselves for a couple hours after school

独自在家几个小时应该没事

You think I do

-你这么觉得吗 -真的

As a matter of fact I actually think it'll be great for them

而且呢我觉得这对他们也有好处

These kids today are so coddled

这年头的孩子就是温室的花朵

I honestly think y'all are raising

我觉得你们这一辈人

a whole generation of sissies

把下一代的人全养成小娘炮了

Is that the way you speak about your grandchildren

你这样说你的孙子们真的好吗

Yes

好啊

我回来了

How'd it go with your mom

跟你妈谈的如何

She's not interested in watching 'em

她没兴趣照顾孩子们

Doesn't want to give up her afternoons

不想放弃她每天下午的安排

Of course Sorry

不意外抱歉啊

You know what it's okay

算啦没关系

The timing wasn't right

时候不对

Maybe when the kids are older

或许等孩子大了吧

Okay

好

I guess I'll go get dinner started

我去做晚饭吧

How about this

要不这样吧

Go ahead and take the job

你就去接了这份工作

Yeah if it turns out

如果接了之后发现

Sheldon and Missy can't look out for themselves

谢尔顿与米希没办法放学后

for a couple hours after school

好好照顾自己几个小时

then well we'll cross that bridge when we come to it

那... 我们到时候再解决那个问题

Are you sure about this

你确定吗

Yeah Actually probably good for 'em

是啊其实这样对他们也有好处

Teach 'em a little responsibility

教导他们要担起责任

That's exactly what my mom said

我妈妈也是这么说的呢

Really

是吗

Well I still like the idea

那我还是一样喜欢这个主意

Thank you God for this food we're about to receive

感谢主赐予我们桌上的食物

and for the nourishment of our bodies

为我们的身体提供营养

and bless the hands that prepared it

也保佑准备这餐点的人

Amen

阿门

So kids

字幕

we have a little family business to discuss

我们家有件事情要讨论一下

You're pregnant No

-你怀孕了吗 -没有

We're getting a puppy No

-我们要养狗狗吗 -没有

I'm not sure I care

那我很可能不会在乎

Starting next Monday

从下周一开始

I'm gonna take a full time job at the church

我会在教堂做一份全职工作

Well who's going to take care of us

那谁来照顾我们呢

Well nothing will change in the morning I'll make breakfast

一切都不会有改变我还是会做早餐

take you both to school Then after school

带你们俩去学校你们放学后呢

you'll come home do your homework

你们就回家开始写作业

watch TV play with your toys

看看电视玩玩具

till I come home around 6 00

等我6点左右回家

Well why can't Meemaw take care of us

为什么姥姥不能来照顾我们呢

'Cause she's not the person you think she is George

-因为她不是你认为的那种人... -乔治

You're really gonna leave these two alone

你真的要独自留他们两个在家吗

Yes

是啊

That's a brave choice

很大胆的选择啊

Look this job is important to your mother

听好了这工作对你妈来说很重要

We expect you both to step up and be responsible

我们希望你们能挺身而出为他担起责任

I can do that

我可以做到

Missy

米希

I'm thinking about it

我考虑考虑

Very brave

十分大胆

周一早上

Okay let's go over it one more time

好的我们再来过一遍

House key's under the plastic owl by the front door

家里的钥匙在前门的塑料猫头鹰下

There's after school snacks in the fridge

下午的点心在冰箱里

One for each of you

一人一份

Emergency numbers are right there by the phone

紧急联络电话就写在电话旁

First aid kit is in the hall closet

急救箱就在走廊橱柜里

And you won't be needing it

虽然你们不会用到

but under the kitchen sink is a fire extinguisher

但厨房水槽下有灭火器

Ooh that looks fun

感觉好有意思啊

For fires only and don't be starting one just to use it

起火了才能用也不许为了玩而放火

It's like she can read my mind

她仿佛会读心术

Don't worry Mom

妈妈你别担心

We'll make you proud

我们不会让你失望

I know you will baby

我知道你不会的宝贝

All set for your first day

准备好第一天上班了吗

I believe I am

应该好了

Go get 'em

大展拳脚吧

Thanks for waking me up

感谢你吵我起来啊

I woke you up 40 minutes ago

我40分钟前就叫你起床了

Well you didn't do a very good job

那你这工作做得不太好啊

Bye y'all

大家再见啦

Okay yeah Yeah

好行行

Okay later

好的再见

Sorry to bother you Peg is Pastor Jeff available

抱歉打扰了佩佩杰夫牧师有空吗

Jeff You available

杰夫你有空吗

On the phone

在打电话

He's on the phone

他在打电话

You know my mother's had some luck cutting back on the smoking

我母亲戒烟的时候

by chewing that nicotine gum

嚼尼古丁口香糖还挺有效

Got some right here

正嚼着呢

So you do

你有啊

Come on in

请进

Go on you heard him

去吧你听到他说了吧

Thank you

谢谢

Hey Mare

你好啊玛丽

Uh you finding everything you need

需要的东西都有了吧

Oh you bet

当然啦

So I've been going over the books

跟你说我看了看帐

and I think we have enough money in our budget

我觉得我们够钱来购买

to purchase a personal computer

一台个人电脑

to handle all the church business

来处理所有教堂事务

Okay

好吧

Well uh why don't you leave the paperwork here

不如你把文件都留在这里

and I'll I'll take a look at it

我再抽空看看

Of course

没问题

That's for your perusal

请您审阅

Everything okay

没问题吧

What

什么

Yeah Right as rain

没问题一切妥妥儿的

All righty

那就好

Hey if you have a minute

如果你有空

I would love to talk to you about the sign out front

我想跟你谈一下教堂前的告示牌标语

Yeah sure

没问题啊

So far so good

一切顺利

Hello

有人在吗

Anybody

有人在家吗

They weren't kidding

他们还真不是开玩笑

Maybe I'll just have one little peek

我就去偷看一眼吧

How come you're not eating your snack

你怎么不吃你的点心

I prefer my snack to be a reward for homework well done

我喜欢把点心当成我功课做得好的奖赏

You're like an old person

你就像一位老人

Thank you

谢谢

What's your homework

你的功课是什么

Non Euclidean geometry

非欧几何

How about you

你的呢

"Symonyms "

"同一词"

You mean synonyms

是同义词吧

I'm pretty sure she said "Symonyms "

我挺确定老师是说"同一词"

Did you see that

你看到了吗

Someone's out there

有人在外面

Oh no They're in the backyard

惨了来到我们后院了

What do we do

我们该怎么办

Would one of you please get me a towel

你们谁去给我拿个毛巾

Why were you sneaking around out there

你为什么要在外面鬼鬼祟祟

Yeah you scared us

你吓到我们了

I was checking up on you two

我是来看看你们俩好不好

And in case you're wondering you scared me back

要是你们关心的话是的我也被吓到了

Well why didn't you knock

那你为什么不敲门

Because you two are supposed to be doing this on your own

因为你们俩应该自己照顾好自己

And you don't think we can

而你不觉得我们做得到

Of course I do

我当然觉得可以啦

I'm the one who told your mother

就是我告诉你妈妈

that you were fine by yourselves in the first place

你们两个可以照顾好自己的

Then why were you checking up on us

那你为什么还来检查

That's called being two faced

这叫表里不一

We'll be okay on our own

我们自己没事的

Yeah we need to prove we can do this

我们也得证明我们可以

All right

好吧

I respect that

我尊重你们的心

And I'm happy to keep this little incident a secret

我也很乐意为你们保守这小小意外的秘密

Really I'm telling everyone

是吗我要告诉大家

It was hilarious

太好笑了

I'm going bowling

我要去打保龄球了

When we first started dating everything was wonderful

我们一开始交往时一切都很美妙

That's when it is wonderful

刚交往的确都会很美妙啊

All the problems started once we got married

我们一结婚问题就统统跑出来了

Well marriage will do that to a relationship

婚姻的确是会对感情造成问题

I I got Selena a credit card

我给萨琳娜一张信用卡

to make small purchases for the house

让她添购家用物品时用

You know coffee maker DustBuster

比如说咖啡机吸尘器

You know what she did

你知道她干嘛了吗

She went to that Sharper Image store

她跑去电器用品店

and she bought a massage chair

买了一张按摩椅

Oh I sat in one of those at the mall

我在商场也坐过一次

It was terrific

超舒服啊

It's $2 000

要两千刀呢

Oh Well seeing as I know how much you make

在看过你的帐之后

you can't afford that

我知道你买不起这个

I uh uh

我...

Of all the afflictions

在所有小孩能

that can befall a child one reigns supreme

碰到的危险磨难中有一个危险之王

Beyond scraped knees and paper cuts

超越擦破膝盖与被纸割伤

nothing strikes fear into the hearts of kids around the world

没有什么在全球孩子的心里造成的恐惧

like a splinter

能超越倒刺

不要啊

I've got a splinter

我被倒刺刺到了

所以呢

So it's an emergency

所以这是紧急事态啊

Call Meemaw

快打给姥姥

Oh calm down

冷静好吗

We can take care of this No we can't

-我们自己能搞定 -我们不能

Sheldon if we can't handle a little splinter

谢尔顿如果连个小倒刺都搞不定

they're never gonna leave us alone again

他们永远也不会再让我们自己在家了

You're right

你说得对

So what do we do

那我们该怎么做

Let me see it

让我看看

Oh boy That's a deep one

哎哟还挺深的

Hey it's throbbing really bad

痛得好厉害啊

Mom would take it out with tweezers

妈通常都是用镊子夹出来

Well where would we find tweezers

那我们上哪找镊子

Let's see what we got

看看这里有什么工具

Band Aids

邦迪

cotton balls

棉球

What's "Gowz"

什么是"纱扑"

It's gauze and the fact that you don't know that

是纱布而你连这是什么都不知道

is not filling me with hope

真是把希望之火又灭了不少

Where would Mom keep the tweezers

妈妈会把镊子收在哪里呢

Sometimes she uses a needle on splinters No

-她有时候也会用针挑出倒刺啊 -不行

No needles Anything but needles

不许用针除了针什么都可以

Wait she has tweezers in her makeup bag

等等她的化妆包里有镊子

She plucks her eyebrows with them

她用镊子来拔眉毛

And sometimes her mustache

有时候还拔她的小胡子

Anything

找到了吗

Nope

没有

Wait

等等

Maybe they're in her room

或许是收在他们房里

We're not allowed to go in Mom and Dad's room

我们不允许进爸妈的房里

Want me to get the needle

你要我用针帮你挑吗

Let's make this quick

我们速战速决吧

Why are you whispering

你为什么要小声说话

That's how people speak when they're being naughty

大家在不乖的时候就是这么说话的

I wouldn't know

这我就不会知道了

I'm naughty all the time

因为我没有一刻是乖的

You're really not coming in

你真的不进来吗

No But you're doing great

不进但你做得不错

What's wrong

怎么了

This really is naughty

这样真的好不乖啊

I told you

我跟你说了

I don't see anything

没有看到呢

There's just a Bible and a flashlight

就看到一本圣经跟手电筒

What do I do

我该怎么办

Answer it but sound calm

接起来但语气保持冷静

Hello

你好

Hey it's Dad

你好啊是爸爸

How you guys doing

你们俩还好吗

We're great

我们很好

Glad to hear it

那就太好了

I'm watching TV

我在看电视

and Sheldon's reading quietly

谢尔顿在安静地阅读

I knew you could handle this

我就知道你们俩没问题

I'm proud of you You know what

-爸爸为你们感到骄傲 -其实呢

I'm proud of us too

我们也为自己感到骄傲

Okay baby doll

好啦宝贝闺女

I'll be home in a couple hours

我几个小时后就回家了

Stay out all night We got this

今晚不回家也没事我们可以的

Wha Love you too

什... 我也爱你们

That was intense

真是太紧张了

I don't think I'm cut out for this latchkey life

我觉得我不适合这种留守儿童的生活

You answer it this time

这次换你去接

I can't I'm supposed to be reading quietly

不可以我现在应该在安静读书才对啊

Answer it Sheldon

去接谢尔顿

Well I'm not going in there

我要接也不进去接

Hello Cooper residence

您好这里是库珀家

Sheldon speaking

我是谢尔顿

Hey Shelly

谢利

Oh hello Mom

是你啊妈妈

How's your day going

你今天过得好吗

Shelly

谢利

Shelly Shelly You there

谢利谢利你在吗

Yes I'm here

我在啊

She wants to know how my day's going

她想知道我今天好吗

Say it's going good

你就会今天好啊

I can't say that

我不能这么说

Why not

为什么

It's bad grammar

因为这样文法不对

How are you supposed to say it

那你应该怎么说才对

"It's going well "

"我今天很好"

Oh that's nice

你好就好

I've got to get back to work

我得继续工作了

but I love you and miss you very much

但妈咪很爱你跟米希哦

Okay

好

I handled that really well

我处理得十分妥当

Got a minute

有空吗

Sure come on in

有啊请进

I just wanted to apologize

我想跟你道歉

I It was wrong of me to unload my personal business on you

让你听我倾诉这些个人烦恼是不对的

Here it is your first day and all

而且你还是第一天来上班呢

Oh that's fine

没事啦

Always happy to lend an ear

我十分乐意听人倾诉

Great 'cause I didn't tell you everything

那就好因为我还没说完全部呢

Really 'Cause you told me a lot

真的吗你已经说了非常多了呢

This morning while Selena was in the shower

今天早上我趁萨琳娜去洗澡的时候

I went through her purse and I took the credit card

我翻了她的皮包把信用卡拿回来了

Oh my

天啊

Now do you think that's stealing or is it doing the right thing

你觉得这算偷吗还是我做的是正确的选择

You know saving us from bankruptcy and whatnot

让我们免于破产之类的问题

Wow Um yeah that's complicated

这事还挺复杂的

Um going through her purse probably wrong

翻她钱包这件事应该是不对的

but on the other hand

不过换个角度来看...

well there is no other hand

没别的角度了

You can't be doing things like that

你不能做这种事情

and have a healthy marriage

然后还想有正常的婚姻关系啊

Why don't you just talk to her

你为什么不跟她谈谈呢

Explain your financial situation

跟她说说你的经济情况

That

这个嘛...

Oh we're closing the door now okay

现在还要关上门谈了吗

That's not so easy

跟她谈有些困难

Because of the language barrier

因为语言障碍吗

That and I implied when we were dating

除此之外在我们刚交往那会儿

that I was well to do

我暗示过我... 颇有资产

Oh Pastor Jeff why would you do that

杰夫牧师你怎么能做这种事呢

You saw her

你也见过她了

Uh she is the kind of woman

她就是那一种

that can make a man do bad things

会让人忍不住想做坏事的女人啊

Well I I don't know what to say to that

这话... 我就不知道作何评价了

Maybe you ought to pray on it

或许你该祈祷吧

You're right

你说得对

You're absolutely right

你说的完全正确

I'll do that now

我现在就去

I'll do the same

我也会祈祷

Thank you

谢谢

God please give me the strength

主啊请求您赐我力量

to not spread this juicy gossip about Pastor Jeff

让我能不说出杰夫牧师的超级大八卦

Amen

阿门

What are you doing

你在干嘛

《我机器人》

I'm reading quietly so I don't have to lie about it later

我在安静地阅读免得之后我得说谎

Found 'em

找到啦

The tweezers

镊子吗

Mom's needles and her magnifying glass

妈妈的针跟放大镜

Absolutely not

绝对不行

Let me at least try

你好歹让我试试看嘛

不行

You're being a baby

别像个没胆的婴儿好吗

Nothing you can say will change my mind

你说什么我都不会改变主意

What if it gets infected and turns green

如果伤口感染并开始发绿

and they have to cut it off

最后只能截肢呢

I think it's numb

我觉得应该麻痹了

Great put your hand out

很好把手放上来

Wait how do you plan on sterilizing the needle

等等你打算怎么给针消毒

Mom uses a lit match

妈妈都用火柴烧一烧

We're not allowed to play with matches

小孩子不许玩火柴

What else would work

那还有什么有用

Alcohol

酒精

Stick your finger in there

把你的手指放进去

I'll do the needle

我负责给针消毒

Okay I hope I don't get drunk

好吧希望我不会醉

How long till you're sterile

要泡多久才完成消毒啊

I don't know

不知道

but I'm getting lightheaded

但我开始有点晕乎了

No matter what happens hold still

无论发生什么事别乱动

I can't do it

我不行

Yes you can No I can't

-你可以的 -不我不行

Just let me get it

就让我挑出来吧

What if you slip and stab me in the eye

万一你手滑一针戳进我眼睛怎么办

I'm not gonna slip

我才不会手滑

Who always wins when we play

你想想每次都是谁赢了...

Be right back

马上回来

In 1989 the Milton Bradley Company

在1989年布雷德利公司

had dozens of board games on the market

在市场上发行了许多桌游

but only one where you were the doctor

但只有一款你能扮演医生

手术

Operation came complete

《手术》游戏内包含了

with a red light up nose

一个能发光的警告红鼻子

13 plastic body parts for players to remove

13块塑料人体部位让玩家移出

and most importantly one pair of genuine tweezers

以及最重要的一支真实的镊子

My sister performed a medical procedure using

我姐姐用小孩的桌游工具

a children's board game

完成了一场真实手术

while I bravely sat very still

而我勇敢地坐着保持不动

I guess you could say there were two heroes that day

或许你可以说那天我们家出了两位勇者

Hello In here

-我回来啦 -我们在客厅

Why does the kitchen smell like whiskey

为什么厨房一股威士忌味

Ask her

问她

Oh dear Lord

我的老天爷啊

Wait till you hear what I did to Meemaw

等你听完我对姥姥干嘛了你再惊讶