小谢尔顿-S01E09_小谢尔顿

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S07

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小谢尔顿-S07E01

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Nobody else is stronger than I am

世上没人比我强壮

Yesterday I moved a mountain

昨天我移了一座山

I bet I could be your hero

我相信我能当你的英雄

I am a mighty little man

我是个了不起的小家伙

I am a mighty little man

我是个了不起的小家伙

The Enterprise is preparing to leave Beta III in star system C 111

进取号即将离开C-111星系的贝塔三星

Sociologist Lindstrom is remaining behind

社会学家林德斯特伦将会与

with a party of experts who will help restore

一队专家一起留下来

the planet's culture to a human form

帮助该星球恢复到宜居环境

The late Landru Captain

最新的兰德鲁啊舰长

A marvelous feat of engineering

工程学上的一项伟大成就

A computer capable of directing the lives

一台能指导成千上万

of millions of human beings

人类生活的电脑系统

But only a machine Mr Spock

但它始终是机器啊史波克先生

The original Landru programmed it with all his knowledge

兰德鲁先生倾尽自己所有的知识打造它

but he couldn't give it his wisdom his compassion

但却无法将他的智慧同情

his understanding his soul

理解与灵魂灌注给它

I prefer the concrete the graspable the provable

我更喜欢具体的可理解可证明的东西

You'd make a splendid computer Mr Spock

史波克先生你一定能当一台很棒的电脑

That is very kind of you Captain

舰长谢谢您的夸奖

That's humorous because Spock is half human and half Vulcan

这句的笑点在史波克是半人半瓦肯人混血

But he's ashamed of his human side

但他对自己人性的那方面感到羞耻

That's why I identify with him

所以我对他很有认同感

Good luck

祝好运

I gravitate a little more towards Kirk

我更偏向寇克一点

Why

为什么

Be cause everything he says

因为... 他所说的每一句话

he makes sound so im portant

都说得好像很重要

I should hope so he's the captain

这样没错啊他可是舰长

Sheldon

谢尔顿

Do me a favor

帮我个忙

Go help your brother study for his math test tomorrow

去给你哥补习明天的数学考试

Is that really a good use of my time

这不算浪费我的宝贵时间吗

Come on I'm asking nice

乖啦我都好好求你了

If he doesn't pass he won't be able to play football

他要是没及格他就不能打橄榄球

You realize he's often mean to me

你知道他常欺负我吧

So Your mother's mean to me I still try to be helpful

那又如何你妈也常欺负我我还是总帮她啊

Does she break wind on your head

她有朝你的脸放屁吗

Because that's what Georgie does to me

因为小乔治就对我这么做过

Can you help me out here

你能帮我劝劝他吗

I'll do it if you take me to the train store

如果你带我去火车玩具店我就帮你

You got it

没问题

And buy me whatever I want

而且我想要什么你都得买给我

Connie what are you doing

康妮你这是在干嘛

Just providing my grandson

只是在给我孙子

with financial guidance

提供金钱上的建议

Don't mock the captain

不许恶搞舰长

If Georgie passes his test I'll get you whatever you want

如果小乔治考试及格你想要什么都买给你

under 20 bucks

限20块以内

Deal

成交

Why

为何

I guess I like him better than you

我疼他多过喜欢你

Georgie

小乔治

What

干嘛

Dad told me to help you study for the math test

爸爸叫我来给你补习数学考试

I don't need your help Get lost

我才不用你帮忙一边儿去

Georgie let him help you

小乔治让他教你

Fine Come in

好啦你进来

Oh dear

天啊

What's your problem

你有何不满

No problem I'll just

没有不满我就...

tidy while we talk

一边教一边打扫吧

Help yourself

随你便

Before we start I'd like to get a sense

我们开始前我想先了解一下

of how much algebra you know

你对代数有多少了解

'Kay

行

Do you understand solving and graphing linear inequalities

你懂怎么解与绘制线性不等式的图吗

Sure

当然

Great Explain it to me

很好你解释一遍给我听

First you solve 'em

你先解出它们

and then you graph 'em

然后你画出它们

And how do you do that

那你怎么做这些呢

Uh you know

你懂的

carefully

小心地做

Excuse me

失陪一下

$20 isn't gonna do it

这活儿20块接不了

So you collect all the terms linear in X

先合并所有X的同类项

See Simple

你看很简单吧

Maybe for you

对你简单而已吧

No it's simple for everybody

不是对所有人来说都很简单

Now you collect all the terms linear in Y

然后再合并所有Y的同类项

I don't get it

我不懂

Try this Close your eyes

试试这个先闭上眼睛

'Kay

行

Can you see

你能看到

the slope of the line given by the coefficients of X and Y

由X与Y的系数所绘制出来的线吗

不能

What do you see

那你看到什么了

Darkness

一片黑暗

Try harder

再努力点

Wait

等等

I see Elle Macpherson in a bikini

我看到澳大利亚名模穿着比基尼

Ooh it just fell off

比基尼掉下来了

Dad

爸爸

I'll make it $40 Keep going

额度提到40块继续教

Maybe the problem is you're not a good teacher

或许问题是在于你不是个好老师

Unlikely Regardless I am your only hope

不太可能而且无论如何我都是你唯一希望

What do you see when you close your eyes

那你闭上眼睛时会看到什么

I see quadrant one as red

我看到第一象限是红色的

quadrant two is soft and plush

第二象限柔软又毛茸茸

quadrant three smells like lavender

第三象限闻起来有薰衣草味

and quadrant four is overlaid with a Fibonacci spiral

第四象限与斐波那契数列重叠在一起

That's really weird

真是太奇怪了

No What's really weird is doing simple algebra

才没有真正奇怪的是解简单的代数时

and thinking about a girl in a bikini

脑海里却想着比基尼女郎

I disagree

我不同意

Dad

爸爸

Keep going

继续教

And when you divide by a negative number

当除以负数时

you have to reverse the direction of the inequality

你得把不等式的两端进行变号

I'm tired I'm going to bed

我累了我要去睡了

But we're not done You're going to fail

但我们还没学完你会挂科的

I get enough of what you said I'll be fine

我听够多你说的话了我能行

It was at that moment I decided

就是在那一刻我决定了

I was not cut out for teaching

我并不适合教职

I consoled myself with the knowledge

我用我在其他方面

that I was wonderful at everything else

都无人能出其右来安慰了自己

Take one and pass it back

拿一份卷子就往后传

Take one and pass it back

拿一份卷子就往后传

As you all know this test'll count for 25% of your final grade

你们应该知道这考试占学期总成绩25%

Be sure to show all your work

记得写出所有计算过程

If you get stuck on a question

如果被哪一题难住了

move on and come back to it at the end

先往下做最后再回头想

And I shouldn't have to say this

最后这话我应该不用强调了

but if there's any cheating I will see it

但如果有人作弊我绝对会抓到

I got eyes in the back of my head

老师我脑袋后也有长眼睛

I got more eyes than a potato

我的眼睛比土豆上的洞眼还多

Ms Ingram

英格拉姆女士

Yeah Sheldon

怎么了谢尔顿

I'm done

我写完了

What

什么

I enjoyed it very much

我很享受答卷的过程

I'll take another if you have one

如果你还有别份卷子我愿意要一份

No I don't have another one

没了我没有别份卷子

J Just read ahead in the textbook

你先翻开课本往下看吧

Oh boy

太好啦

Seeing my brother struggle was difficult for me

看我哥垂死挣扎我也挺难受的

As his tutor I took his failure personally

身为他的家教他的失败

almost as if I had failed

感觉就像是我的失败

Which was odd because I knew how dumb he was

这挺怪的因为我明知道他有多笨

Georgie how'd you do on that math test today

小乔治你今天数学考得如何

It was tough

还挺难的

I don't know

我也说不准

I'm sorry I wasn't more help

抱歉我没能帮到你什么忙

Me too

我也是

That's all right baby you tried

没事的宝贝你尽力了

Yeah It's okay baby

是啊没关系的宝贝

I don't understand what went wrong

我不懂到底是哪里出了问题

Is there any chance you drank alcohol

你在怀小乔治的时候

when you were pregnant with Georgie

是不是有喝过酒呢

没有

Well don't be so high and mighty

不用这么高高在上

I drank when I was pregnant with you

我在怀你的时候就有喝酒啊

You turned out fine

你不也挺好的吗

These days everybody's like "Don't drink don't smoke "

这年头大家都在说"别喝酒别抽烟"

I swear Texas is turning into California

德克萨斯都要变成加利福尼亚了

You realize there's nothing I can do if you fail

你知道你要是挂科了我可帮不上你吧

You're off the team

你得退橄榄球队

I know

我知道

Well I'm gonna ask Jesus

我会求求耶稣基督

to help you get a good grade on that test

帮助你这场考试得到好成绩

Shouldn't you have asked him before he took it

你应该在他去考试前祈求祂才对吧

The man rose from the dead

伟大的祂死后都能复生

I think he can fix a test after the fact

考完试之后再改应该只是小事一桩

You know I hear you say things like that

你知道当我听到你说这种话时

and I wonder if maybe I did have a few too many whiskey sours

我都会扪心自问我是不是怀了你的时候

when you were in my belly

喝了太多柠檬威士忌酒

Not me but not bad

没到我的分数不过还不错

I would say "A" for effort

我想说"A"级努力

but that's an "F "

但"F"级分数

What How bad is it

怎么了有多烂

You got a "B "

你得到了"B"

Are you kidding

不是吧

I don't believe it

我真不敢相信

Me neither

我也是

Me neither

我也是啊

So I guess I have to rethink my abilities

我觉得我得重新评估我的能力

Clearly I'm a wonderful teacher

我很显然是个千古名师

Georgie didn't pass because of you

小乔治不是因为你的教导而及格

What do you mean

你这话什么意思

He cheated

他作弊了

He had the answers written on the bottom of his shoe

他把答案写在他鞋底了

He wouldn't do that

他不会这样的

When you cheat in school you only cheat yourself

在学校考试骗人作弊其实骗的只是自己

Where'd you get that

你从哪学到的话

An inspirational poster outside the boys' room

男厕外面的正能量海报上

I saw what I saw Sheldon

谢尔顿我绝对没看错

Well if this is true

如果这是真的

he needs to turn himself in

他得去向老师坦白

That'll never happen He'll get kicked off the team

他不可能去他会被踢出球队

I'm sorry I can't accept this

抱歉恕我无法相信

There must be another explanation

我相信此事一定还有别的解释

If you don't believe me look at his shoes

如果你不相信我你就去看他的鞋底

I will

我会去的

This is quite a workout

这运动量挺大啊

You dirty bird

你个小人

What are you doing in here

你在我房间里干嘛

You cheated

你作弊了

No I didn't

我才没有

I'm holding the evidence

我手里就拿着证据

Let me see that

让我看看

I don't see nothin'

我什么都没看到啊

That's obstruction of justice

你这是妨碍司法公正

as well as disgusting

兼肮脏又没卫生

Oh relax By passing that test I get to play football

别搞事我考试及格就能继续打球

and you get to go to the train store

你也能去火车玩具店买东西

Everybody wins

大家都有好处

But what about the truth

那真相呢

What about it

怎么样

It's supposed to set us free

真相[理]必叫我们得以自由

Who told you that

这话你哪学的

The Bible

《圣经》啊

Since when do you care about what's in the Bible

你什么时候信过《圣经》里写的话了

When it helps me win an argument

当那些话能让我驳倒别人的时候

The Bible also says honor thy father and thy mother

《圣经》也说"当孝敬父母"

And if you open your mouth you're gonna make them sad

如果你去跟他们说你就会让他们伤心

He had me

他辩倒了我

Somehow the mullet headed simpleton had me

这二傻子莫名其妙地辩倒了我

This isn't over

这事没完

Oh yeah What are you gonna do

是吗你想怎么样

All right maybe it's over

好吧好像完了

Meemaw

姥姥

I assume you've read the Surgeon General's report

我猜你已经看过公共卫生部部长关于

on the dangers of smoking

吸烟有害健康的报告了

I'm gonna wait till they turn it into a movie

我等着他们把报告拍成电影呢

Is that your new train

那是你的新火车吗

Yes It's my reward for helping Georgie pass the math test

是的这是我帮小乔治通过数学考试的酬谢

You don't seem too happy about it

你看上去不是很开心啊

I don't feel like I earned it

我觉得我不配拥有它

Why not

为什么

Can you keep a secret

你能帮我保守秘密吗

Well at my age the question is can I remember one

我这么大年纪了能记住秘密就不错了

Try me

说来听听

Georgie cheated on the test

小乔治考试作弊了

And nothing bad happened

而且平安无事

He gets to stay on the football team

他可以继续留在橄榄球队

Mom and Dad are proud of him

爸妈以他为傲

I even got a train for helping

我甚至因为帮他得到一辆小火车

So you're feeling guilty

所以你有负罪感

Very much so

正是这样

Well that's a real conundrum

可真是个疑难杂症啊

Have you been reading the Word of the Day calendar

你是不是有在看我生日送给你的

I gave you for your birthday

每日一词日历

Indubitably

无可置疑

So what do you think

你对此事作何感想

I don't think you should let it bother you very much

我认为你不应该对此深受困扰

I mean there's always gonna be people in this world

我是说这世上肯定有些人

who are playing fast and loose with the rules

会不守规则

And your brother's one of them

而你的哥哥就是这种人

That's how Captain Kirk is on Star Trek

《星际迷航》的寇克舰长也是

Well there you go and he's like the main guy on that show

没错所以他是这部戏的主角

No Mr Spock is the main guy

不史波克先生才是主角

I stand corrected

你说得对

Although Kirk is usually the one who saves the Enterprise

不过通常拯救进取号的人都是寇克

Because he doesn't always follow the rules

因为他不会总是死守规矩吗

He even cheated on a test when he was a cadet

他甚至在学员时期的一次测试中作弊

The Kobayashi Maru

小林丸号测试

The what

小什么

Kobayashi Maru

小林丸

Kirk is a legend because of it

寇克因此成为传奇

Ko Kobayashi Maru

小林丸

Sounds like something you eat at Benihana's

听起来像是日式铁板烧餐厅里的食物名

Have you ever been to one of those

你有去过那种餐厅吗

They make you sit with strangers

店家会让你跟陌生人坐在一起

It's crazy

真扯

Do you think a Spock could become a Kirk

你觉得史波克会变成寇克这样的人吗

Well in my experience

以我的经验之谈

most people stay the miserable bastards they are

大多数人活一辈子都是一个

their whole entire life

可怜的混蛋

But

但...

I have seen some folks change

我也见过有人会改变

All right Well I'm gonna go play with this train

好吧我要去玩这辆火车了

You do that

去吧

Georgie

小乔治

Go away

走开

I need to ask a favor

我想请你帮个忙

What

什么忙

It's private Can I come in

秘密我能进来吗

Come on

进来吧

What do you want

你要干嘛

It occurs to me you have something in common with Captain Kirk

我发现你和寇克舰长有共同之处

We both have cool hair

我俩的发型都很帅吗

In order to succeed

为了成功

you both play fast and loose with the rules

你俩都不介意不守规则

Yeah I suppose we do

对我想是的

When you cheated on the math test what was your strategy

你数学考试作弊的时候你的策略是什么

Well I guess the most important part

我猜最重要的部分是

was not stepping on anything wet before the test

考试之前不要踩到湿乎乎的东西

And not getting an "A "

还有千万不要拿"A"

Why wouldn't you want an "A"

你为什么不想拿"A"

'Cause that would raise suspicions

因为那会引起怀疑

Who would believe I got an "A"

谁会相信我能拿"A"

Tell me more

再跟我说说

Okay when you're telling a lie

好的撒谎的时候

it's important to throw in some details

加入一些细节是关键

Like when I was wanted to spend the night at Ricky's house

比如我想去里奇家过夜

and Mom asked me if his mom and dad were gonna be home

妈妈问我他爸妈是否在家

I said not only are they be gonna be home

我说他们不但在家

his dad was gonna teach us

他爸爸还会教我们

how to cook turkey legs in the smoker

怎么做烟熏火鸡腿

I like turkey legs Were they good

我喜欢火鸡腿好吃吗

There weren't any turkey legs you dope

根本没有什么火鸡腿你个白痴

His parents were in Branson

他父母在外地呢

That's incredible I totally believed you

真厉害我刚才完全相信你的话

Details

细节啊细节

Now get out of here I got to finish reading this

现在快出去我得看完这本书

Thank you Georgie that was very helpful

谢谢小乔治你真帮了我大忙

Did you hear that

你听见了吗

What

什么

Sounds like Georgie and Sheldon are getting along

听起来小乔治和谢尔顿处得挺好

Really

是吗

That can't be right

不可能啊

I just heard it

我刚听见的

Maybe there's hope for those two after all

或许他们俩还有希望能处得来

Or it's a sign of the apocalypse

或者这是末日的征兆

Honey I'm I'm watching this

亲爱的别打扰我看电视

So you'll have to find someone else

今天的体育课

to hold your ankles in P E Today

你得找别人帮你按脚踝了

I'm sorry what

抱歉你说什么

I've suffered a terrible injury and won't be able to attend

我受了重伤没办法上课了

What happened

发生什么事了

See for yourself

你自己看

"Dear Coach Wilkins please excuse my son Sheldon

"威尔金斯教练请批准我的儿子谢尔顿

From P E

不上体育课

He has experienced a testicular hernia

他得了睾丸疝气

And needs to rest for the next six to eight weeks

接下来的六到八周都需要好好休息

Sincerely Mary Cooper "

真诚的玛丽·库珀"

Testicular hernia

睾丸疝气吗

That's called details

这就叫细节

Ooh that's rough

真是可怜

Hmm How'd it happen

怎么弄的

It's hard to say

不好说

but some risk factors include heavy lifting a chronic cough

但风险因素包括: 提重物慢性咳嗽

and repetitive straining during bowel movements

排便时的重复性劳损

I've been there

我也有个这经历

Hmm All right

好吧

Guess I'll see you in six to eight weeks

那就...六到八周后见吧

I don't know if other supervillains

我不知道其他超级大反派

started their careers by getting out of P E

是否是从翘体育课开始他们的职业生涯

but that's where I began

但我是

Emboldened by my faux hernia

有我捏造的疝气来壮胆

I started taking books out of the library

我开始把图书馆的书拿出来

without getting the cards stamped

而不去盖借阅的章

You didn't check out those books

那些书你还没登记呢

I know

我知道

Before you judge me too harshly

在你严厉地批判我前

I always brought them back on time

我想说我每次都按时还回去

I was a rule breaker not a lunatic

我是破坏规矩的人不是疯子

But perhaps my most satisfying transgression

但或许我最满意的违规

was duping my sister

是欺骗我姐姐

into relinquishing control of the TV

放弃电视的控制权

Hello

你好

What's that for

那玩意是干啥的

Oh this I was just digging for money in Meemaw's backyard

这个吗我刚在姥姥后院挖钱呢

There's money there

那里有钱吗

Oh yes I already found 75 cents

有啊我已经发现七毛五了

Who do you think left it

你觉得是谁的钱

If I were to guess

如果让我猜

I'd say pirates with holes in their pockets

我觉得是口袋破洞的海盗

Can I use your shovel

铲子能借我用用吗

Be my guest

请便

Oh baby I'm gonna be rich

宝贝我要发大财了

Today we're going to learn about Sir Isaac Newton

今天我们来学习牛顿爵士

Hello old friend

你好老朋友

one of the world's greatest scientists

世界上最伟大的科学家之一

See you tomorrow Wayne

明天见韦恩

You have a good one George

祝你愉快乔治

Hey how's your son doing

你儿子怎么样了

Georgie

小乔治吗

No the smart one

不聪明那个

He's fine Why

他挺好的怎么了

What about the hernia

他的疝气呢

What hernia

什么疝气

The one your wife said he had

你妻子说他得了啊

Happened to me while I was in the Army

我在军队时也得过

I was in a bar in Georgia tried to lift up this big gal

是在乔治亚州的一间酒吧试图抱起个胖妹

Swear I could hear something pop down there

我绝对听到我下面有啥爆炸声

Sheldon gave you this note

这张条是谢尔顿给你的吗

Yeah

是的

I didn't write this

这不是我写的

You sure

你确定吗

Looks like your handwriting

看起来像你的笔迹

It's got that little swoopy thing going on

字体看起来有点飘

I didn't write it

不是我写的

And I think I'd know if my son had a hernia

如果我儿子得疝气我肯定知道

So what Sheldon forged a letter to get out of P E

那就是谢尔顿为了不上体育课伪造了请假条

Looks like it

貌似是的

How about that

真行啊

Don't be proud of him

别为他感到骄傲

Can't help it

我情不自禁

First time he ever seemed like my kid

第一次他这么像我的亲儿子

Do you have any idea what's gotten into him

你知道他为什么突然转了性吗

I might

可能知道

Well

为什么

Have you ever heard of

你们有听过

Mobokachi Kaboom

大鱼蛋

Wait

不对

Koshimaki Magoo

是小钢蛋

Wait a minute I'm gonna get this

等等我一定能想出来

"Dear Professor Proton

"亲爱的质子教授

I would very much like to meet you

我非常想跟您见面

And I only have three weeks to live

我的生命就剩三周了

Please come visit me here in Medford Texas

请来德克萨斯州的梅德福市看我

Sincerely Sheldon Cooper

真诚的谢尔顿·库珀

P S My Meemaw makes excellent brisket "

附注我姥姥做的饼干超级好吃"

Sheldon

谢尔顿

Would you like to explain this note

你能解释一下这张请假条吗

Well

说呀

I was trying to be more like Georgie

我只是想更像小乔治一点

That's a dumb idea

这真是个蠢主意

We don't want Georgie to be like Georgie

我们都不希望小乔治像他自己

Well let me start by saying how very sorry I am

听我说我真的感到非常抱歉

Despite my explanation

尽管我解释说

that I was embracing my inner Kirk

我是为了接纳我内在的寇克人格

my mother had me make amends for all my misdeeds

我妈还是让我去弥补我曾犯下的错

Starting in the library

先从图书馆开始

where I had to reshelve hundreds of books

我得重新摆放上百本书

Well to be honest that one was a hoot

老实说这个简直爽呆了

The amends got worse when Coach Wilkins made me climb the rope

当威尔金斯教练让我攀绳时赎罪就不好受了

Lacking any upper body strength

由于缺乏上肢力量

I hung there like a salami in a deli window

我像一根熟食店里吊着的香肠一样

And finally I had to apologize to my meemaw

最后我还得跟我姥姥道歉

who was an unfortunate victim of my sister's treasure hunt

无辜成为我姐姐寻宝大计的受害人