小谢尔顿-S03E08_小谢尔顿

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小谢尔顿-S07E01

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Previously on Young Sheldon

《少年谢尔顿》前情提要

I saw Connie for the first time since I broke up with her

我和康妮分手后第一次见到她

and it's making me wonder if she also is feeling lonely

所以我不禁思考她是否也感到孤独寂寞

and I made a bad decision for both of us

我为我们所做的决定是否错了呢

I hate to be the one to tell you this John

我也不想当告诉你坏消息的人约翰

but she's kind of been seeing someone new

她现在有新的约会对象了

She seems to be doing okay

她好像过得挺好

Oh I hope he gets lost at sea and never returns

我也希望他迷失在大海上永远回不来

I'm having a lot of feelings

我现在心情非常复杂

Hey Connie

你好啊康妮

I thought I'd just uh say "Hi "

所以我就过来... 来打个招呼

Would it be awkward if I asked her to join us

我要是邀请她一起看会不会尴尬呢

Oh couldn't be any more awkward

再尴尬也尴尬不过现在

In many ways

从很多方面来看

a high school is like an academic house of horrors

高中就是一个学术的恐怖屋

There's the cafeteria

比如食堂

which when even freshly cleaned

哪怕是刚打扫过

maintains a subtle aroma of tater tots and throw up

空气中都还隐隐飘着薯球跟呕吐的气味

The schoolyard where one is exposed

还有学校操场你得暴露在

to bullying by delinquents and attacks from above

校园恶霸的面前还得小心

by eye pecking demons

来自空中戳眼恶魔的攻击

But all of these pale in comparison

但这些都比不上

to the most horrific location of all

学校中最令人发指的场所

A place teeming with the sweat and secretions

这里布满着汗水与上百个

from hundreds of unwashed bodies

没清洗过的肉体身上的分泌物

The swimming pool

校园泳池

Sorry Sheldon Water safety is a required

抱歉谢尔顿水上安全课

part of your P E Class

是你的体育课中必修的项目

But other kids use that pool

但其他孩子也用那个游泳池

It's basically a big bowl of teenager soup

那基本就是一大锅青少年汤

It's out of my hands It's a state requirement

我也没办法啊这是州立规定

If you don't like it take it up with your congressman

如果你有意见那你去跟区议员谈啊

I did

我试过了

He won't return my calls

他都不回我电话

Then I guess you're swimming tomorrow

那明天你是非游不可了

Except for the laughter the glowing eyes

除了没有这笑声发光的双眼

and the lightning that's exactly how it happened

以及闪电其他的都是真的

I'm a little nervous

我有点紧张

You're the first ex girlfriend I've ever been friends with

你是我第一个维持朋友关系的前任

And you're also my first ex girlfriend

也是我第一个前女友

And that's because you

那是因为你...

How about you just think of me as your friend

你可不可以就把我当成是你的朋友

Okay Yes that's good

可以没问题这样很好

So I understand you're seeing someone new

对了我听说你有新的交往对象啦

Tell me everything

快跟我八卦一下

不要

I assumed that uh as friends

不是说好了我们是朋友吗

we could tell each other about our personal lives

朋友间可以互相分享私人生活啊

Trust me John you you don't want to hear about these things

约翰你相信我你不会想听这些细节的

Actually I do

我真心想听

Your happiness is very important to me

我很在乎你幸不幸福

Oh what the hell

行吧随你便

His name is Dale

他的名字叫戴尔

He owns a sporting goods store

他开了一家体育用品店

And we've only been out a few times

我们只约出去过几次

but so far so good

但目前来说处得还挺开心

Well that sounds wonderful

那很好啊

Good for you

恭喜你

Thank you

谢谢

Now would you like to hear about the women I'm dating

那现在你有兴趣听我说我在交往的女人吗

You're dating other women

你跟新的女人交往了吗

Heavens no

才没有呢

Come on Jesus This is for your birthday Help me out

帮个忙啊耶稣你的生日你帮个手嘛

Boy Sheldon is really worked up about this whole swimming thing

妈呀谢尔顿对游泳这事反应可真大

Don't you think he should learn for his own safety

你不觉得他该为自己的安全而学吗

You really think he's ever gonna go near a body of water

你真的觉得他这辈子会想去接近水域吗

Yeah It's only a matter of time

不是不去时候未到

before someone throws him in one

迟早会碰到有人把他扔下水

Well break it to him gently

你温柔点跟他说这消息吧

Wait Me

等等我去说吗

Swimming's a sport and you're a sports person

游泳是种运动你是搞运动的

And he's a mama's boy and you're his mama

他是个小妈宝而你是他妈妈

How about we do it together

那我们一起去怎么样

Fine but you can't hang me out to dry

行但你不能到时候坑我背锅

Of course not

当然不会

We're a team We're in this together right

我们是个团队同生共死对吧

You bet

那当然

She's gonna hang me out to dry

他绝对会推我去死

巴拉德体育用品店

Observation is an important part of the scientific method

观察是做科学很重要的一部分

Darwin observed the finches

达尔文观察了雀类

Jane Goodall observed the chimpanzees

珍·古德观察了黑猩猩

and for some reason

而不知为何

Dr Sturgis wanted to observe my meemaw's new suitor

斯特吉斯博士想观察姥姥的新对象

Excuse me just for one second

麻烦稍等我一下

Howdy Can I help you

你好有什么需要吗

No no just browsing

没什么我就是随便看看

Yeah well any particular sport you might need that for

你是玩哪种运动想要用到那个呢

Depends What the heck is it

看情况了这是什么鬼

It's a cup

是个护裆[杯子]

A cup

杯子吗

What kind of a cup has holes in it

什么杯子会有这么多漏洞啊

Well it protects your private parts

这是拿来保护你私密部位的啦

Well I can see how that might be useful

那我看出它有用的地方了

Well this has been very informative

感谢你十分有料的讲解

Thank you

谢谢你

You're welcome

不客气

You just uh

如果...

If you have any more questions you let me know

如果还有别的问题你就来问我

I certainly will

一定会

All right

好的

Georgie I want you to keep an eye on that weirdo over there

小乔治你帮我注意一下那边那个怪人

I know that weirdo He used to date my meemaw

我认识那个怪人他是我姥姥前男友

That guy

那家伙吗

Yeah he's like super smart

是啊他超级聪明

I'm not sure I believe you

我有点不敢信你的话

Hey Dr Sturgis

斯特吉斯博士

Hello

你好啊

Wait Uh oh

不对惨了

Hello

您好

I may have made a questionable

我貌似做了一些

uh decision regarding our friendship

对我们友谊不太好的决定

What have you done John

你又干嘛了约翰

I went to the sporting goods store

我去了体育用品店

to check out your new fella

看看你的新对象

Did you speak to him

你跟他说话了吗

Oh yes In fact he sold me an athletic supporter

有啊而且他还成功跟我推销了

to protect my genitals

保护我私处的运动器材

Good

很好

You may want to be wearing that next time I see you

下次让我见到你之前你最好戴上它

Okay

好的

Shelly can you turn the TV off for a second

谢利你能先关掉电视一下吗

But after this commercial break

但广告结束之后

Professor Proton is going to use a candle

质子教授要用一根蜡烛

to suck a hard boiled egg into a milk bottle

把一个水煮蛋给吸进牛奶瓶里呢

We'll make it quick

我们尽快说完

Go ahead

说吧

Your father has something to tell you

你爸爸有事情想跟你说

Your mother wants you to swim ‭George

-你妈妈要你去游泳 -乔治

Mom

妈

Who's ready to suck eggs

都准备好来吸蛋了吗

That was the lamest tantrum I've ever seen

这真是我看过最弱鸡的发火了

I'm being forced to swim tomorrow in P E

我被强迫明天体育课上游泳

Poor baby You have to play in a pool

好可怜哦你只能去泳池里玩

instead of sit in a classroom

不能坐在教室里

A pool of sweat germs and dead skin cells

一池子的汗水细菌以及死皮细胞

Still better than learning

还是比上课好啊

Maybe it's time for me to run away from home

或许是时候我该逃家

and join a traveling math club

去加入旅行数学俱乐部了

Just pretend to be sick

你就装病就行啦

But that would be lying I'm not a liar

但那是在说谎我不是骗子

Well you better be a swimmer

那你最好是个游泳健将

Or a drowner

或是溺死鬼

Why don't you like me

你为什么不喜欢我

You're full of bacteria

你满是细菌

So are you but you don't hear me saying "Ugh " It's rude

你身上也有但我就不会鄙视你因为很没礼貌

Look I may just be pool water

虽然我只是泳池水

but I still have feelings

但我也有感情啊

Sorry water

对不起泳池水

Come on

来嘛

My PH level is 7 4

我的酸碱度是7.4

and with three parts per million of chlorine

并含有百万分之3的氯

I'm cleaner than your daddy's plate after Thanksgiving dinner

我比你爸爸感恩节晚餐后的盘子还干净

Wow That's pretty clean

那是真的很干净了

Look how clear I am Sheldon

你看我有多清澈谢尔顿

You can see all the way to the bottom

你能一眼望到池底

Closer

再近一点

A little closer

再近一点

A little closer

再近一点

Gotcha

抓到你啦

Pool monster

泳池水怪

I don't feel well

我不太舒服

What's wrong baby

怎么啦小宝贝

I don't know I just feel awful

不知道就感觉很不舒服

Well there is something going around

最近的确好像有什么病在传染

Billy Sparks got some kind of bug

比利·斯巴克斯好像就染上了什么虫

That is consistent with what I said Good

这跟我的说法十分符合很好

You're staying home today

那你今天在家休养

I'll go make you some tea

我去给你泡杯茶

Welcome to the dark side

欢迎加入邪恶阵营

Mom says you're sick

妈妈说你生病了

He's faking

他在装病

Really

真的假的

Why You love school

为什么你不是很喜欢上学吗

Swim test

游泳测验

Oh sure You would die

懂了你绝对会死

If you're gonna do this let me give you some pointers

如果你要装病那我来指点你几招

You've done this before

你这么做过吗

Tell him

告诉他

Oh he's the master

他可是大师

He coached me through my last two

他可是我前两次...

sore throats

喉咙痛的幕后执导

I slept on the couch during those

那两次我都去沙发上睡觉了呢

I know

我知道啊

First of all

首先呢

you got to cough even when Mom's not in the room

妈妈不在你房间时你也得咳嗽

Got it

懂了

And don't put the thermometer in the tea

别把温度计放到茶里来提升温度

114 fever is a giveaway

烧到45℃太假了

Smart Told you

-聪明 -我就说吧

Oh don't be afraid to let her look in your throat

她要看你的喉咙就放胆让她看

She's checking to see if it's red

她是想看看有没有发炎红肿

but it's always red

但本来就一直是红色的啊

You are good

你真的很厉害

Here try spitting up a little phlegm

来试着吐点痰出来

We got work to do

功夫还不够啊

I'm sure he'll feel better tomorrow

我相信他明天就会好多了

And you can send any homework that he needs to do

他今天需要做的作业就给他哥哥

with his brother

让他带回来就行了

Thank you

谢谢你

Doesn't this all seem a little convenient

你不觉得这一切太巧合了吗

You think he's faking it

你觉得他是在装病吗

Today's the swim test

今天有游泳考试

It's pretty suspicious

真的很可疑啊

Sheldon just coughed up something gross in a tissue

谢尔顿刚往纸巾里咳出了一些很恶心的东西

See

看见没

And that's why he's staying home

所以他必须待在家里休息

Mary come on

玛丽别天真了

No I am not changing my mind

不我不会改变主意的

My little boy is not a liar

我的小宝贝可不是撒谎精

Connie Tucker

康妮·塔克吗

Yeah ‭Here you go

-是的 -这是给您的

Well thank you ‭You're welcome

-谢谢你 -不客气

"I overstepped The bounds of friendship "

"我的行为超越了友谊的底线

Sorry John "

对不起约翰"

Hello

喂

So why in the hell would your ex boyfriend

你的前男友为什么

send me a giant cookie

要寄一块巨型曲奇给我

抱歉我监视了你约翰

My little boy is not a liar

我的小宝贝可不是撒谎精

My little boy is not a liar

我的小宝贝可不是撒谎精

You don't have a temperature

你没发烧啊

That's good You want to get comfy on the couch

这是好事你想舒舒服服躺在沙发上

and watch your Star Trek tapes

看你的《星际旅行》录像带吗

No thank you

不用了谢谢

I know what'll make you feel better

我知道做什么能让你好受点

Soft kitty warm kitty

软猫猫暖猫猫

Little ball of fur

小毛球猫猫

Happy kitty

笑猫猫

Sleepy kitty

困猫猫

Purr purr purr

呼噜呼噜呼噜

Soft liar warm liar

软骗子暖骗子

Little ball of fib

小毛球撒谎精

Happy liar sleepy liar

笑骗子困骗子

Fib fib fib

超级无敌撒谎精

Feel better

好点了吗

Uh uh

并没有

Really

不是吧

Cooper's out sick

库珀请病假了

What a baby

真是娇嫩的小婴儿

Really Cooper's out sick

真的吗库珀请病假了

Oh baby

太爽啦

Hallelujah

赞美上帝

Happy birthday to me

真是过节了

Shelly I'm gonna run to the grocery store real quick

谢利我去杂货店一趟

so I can make you some soup

买些煲汤的食材

Okay

好

I had lied to my mother and gotten away with it

我欺骗了我妈妈还逍遥法外

The guilt was more than I could take

内疚快把我吞噬了

I had to make this right

我必须改正错误

I could confess and break my mother's heart

我可以老实坦白让我妈伤心难过

or I could turn my lie into the truth

也可以把我的谎言变成事实

and actually get myself sick

真的把自己搞病

Hi Sheldon

谢尔顿你好啊

Hello Billy I hear you're not feeling well

你好比利我听说你不舒服

I'm not I have a cold

确实不舒服我感冒了

That's too bad

真不幸

Put her there

伸出手来吧

Why

为什么

Just shake my hand Billy

跟我握手就是了比利

But my mom says that's how germs get spread

但我妈妈说这样会传播细菌

I know ‭ You do

-我知道 -真的吗

When did you talk to my mom

你几时和我妈聊过天了

Just eh

赶紧...

Wait want to play

等等你想一起玩吗

Is that for your patient

是煮给你的小病人吃的吗

Yes

是的

He's still under the weather

他还是不舒服

Oh that's too bad

太惨咯

Running a fever

他有没有发烧

没有

Sniffly nose

有没有流鼻水

也没有

But he couldn't even bring himself to watch his Star Trek show

但他连看《星际旅行》都没精神

Oh dear I better go call an ambulance

那么严重呀那我该叫救护车了

You're not funny

你这样并不好笑

And he ain't sick

他根本没病

Cheers ‭Cheers

-干杯 -干杯

Now don't fill up on those

别急着点吃的

We still got two giant cookies to finish

我们还有两块巨型曲奇没吃完呢

I'm sorry about all that stuff with John

很抱歉约翰做出那些事

I He means well but sometimes

他是好意但有时

he can just be uh A little quirky

他这人就是有点...古怪

Yeah I kind of figured that

我看出来了

yeah I watched him play ping pong with his own crotch

我看到他和自己裆部对打乒乓球

I don't know what that is but I'm sure he did it

我不知道那是怎么一回事但我不意外

Well I mean how'd you meet this guy

你到底是怎么遇见这人的

What did you try to steal his pot of gold

难不成你试图在彩虹尽头

at the end of the rainbow

偷走他的金罐吗

爱尔兰小矮妖的传说

Okay okay he's a very sweet man

别揶揄了他是个很好的人

Well I bet he is

我相信他是

If you must know

如果你非要知道

he's Sheldon's college professor

他是谢尔顿的大学教授

Smart short and weird

聪明个儿矮还古怪

well that's the whole package right there ‭

他可真是完美的对象

Hey okay that's enough

别再说了够了

Well I got to ask

我一定要问

Do you feel like you're dating

你现在是不是觉得自己

a supermodel right now

在跟酷帅超模约会

You didn't touch your soup baby

汤你一口都没喝过呢宝贝

I'm not hungry

我不饿

You aren't feelin' any better

你没有好一些吗

Well it'll be in the fridge

我先放到冰箱里

if you change your mind

你迟点想喝就告诉我

Young man

年轻人

Yes you

没错就是你

Pretending to be sick

居然装病

You should be ashamed of yourself

你应该感到羞耻

But I was afraid to go in the pool

但我害怕进泳池

You are in a pool

你现在就深陷池子里

A pool of your own deceit

你自己的谎言之池

If my mother were alive

如果我母亲还活着

I'd never lie to her

我绝不会欺骗她

And I'd always eat her soup

我也会把她辛苦煮的汤喝光光

My grandson's trying to steal home

我孙子想偷回本垒

and he trips and he falls and lands face first on the plate

他不小心被绊倒了一头摔到本垒板上

lost a tooth we won the game

掉了颗牙我们赢得了那场比赛

Get this

精彩的来了

He finds the tooth two days later

他两天后找到了那颗牙

when he goes to the bathroom

就在他上大号时

That's it

就这反应

You don't understand

你没听懂

He found the tooth

他找到了牙齿...

I got it

我听懂了

What's going on You okay

怎么了你还好吗

Actually no

其实我不好

I don't like the way you've been talkin' about John

我不喜欢你谈论约翰的语气

I was kidding around

我只是开玩笑啦

Well it bothered me

但是让我很不舒服

Wait a minute hold it hold hold hold

等一下打住打住

Your weirdo ex comes sneaking around checking me out

你的怪咖前男友偷偷摸摸地来监视我

and all of a sudden I'm the bad guy here

怎么突然之间我却成了坏人

You don't get to call him a weirdo

你不准叫他怪咖

You don't think he's a weirdo

你不觉得他是怪咖吗

Of course he's a weirdo

他当然是怪咖

You just can't say it

但你不能说出来

Oh I didn't think it was that big a deal

我没想到这事有这么严重

Well it is He and I are friends

就有我和他是朋友

and if you don't stop makin' fun of him

如果你再继续嘲笑他

you and I are gonna have a problem

我和你就没完了

Are you saying that I'm being naughty

你意思是我不乖

and you're threatening to punish me

你威胁要惩罚人家吗

'Cause I might like that

我可能会很享受哦

See you're tryin' to be mad at me and you can't

瞧你想生我的气但你做不到

Now you are getting punished

现在你绝对要被惩罚调教了

Check please

麻烦买单

Mom

妈妈

Oh baby What are you doing out of bed

宝贝你怎么起床了

I don't need to be in bed

我不需要躺在床上休息

I'm not sick

我没生病

What

什么

I lied to you

我欺骗了你

so that I wouldn't have to take the swim test

因为我想逃避游泳考试

You lied

你说谎了

I feel terrible about it

我觉得很内疚

Well you should feel terrible

你当然该感到内疚

I trusted you

我那么相信你

I'm sorry It's just that I was so afraid to get in that pool

对不起但我真的太害怕进入泳池

so I let Georgie and Missy teach me how to fake it

所以我让小乔治和米希教我如何装病

They said it was easy but it's wasn't

他们说很简单但并不简单

It really wasn't

一点都不简单

Georgie and Missy taught you how to do this

小乔治和米希教你怎么装病的吗

I cannot tell a lie they sure did

我绝对不能说谎就是他们干的

Okay calm down

好了别激动

Now you listen to me you shouldn't have lied

听我说你不应该说谎

It's always wrong

说谎任何时候都是错的

But you made up for it by telling me the truth

但现在你告诉我真相弥补了自己的过错

So you forgive me

那你原谅我了吗

I do but

是的但是

I need you to do me a favor

我需要你帮我一个忙

As far as your father is concerned you were sick

在你爸面前继续装病

Isn't that lying

那不算欺骗吗

Honestly

老实说

不算

The following day I returned to school

第二天我回到学校

I had no choice but to fulfill my swimming requirement

我别无选择只得乖乖下水游泳

Much like Batman

就像蝙蝠侠一样

I suited up and faced my fears

我穿上全套战服直面我的恐惧

Unlike Batman I did it with a doggy paddle

但没有蝙蝠侠那么英勇我只是用狗爬式

across the shallow end of the pool

游过泳池浅水区

Uh regarding pool sanitation

至于泳池的卫生情况

it turned out I was right

结果证明我是对的

It was teeming with germs

里面充满了大量细菌

Only I was the one who put them there

只不过细菌都是我放进去的

As it happens

原来

my interaction with Billy Sparks

我和比利·斯帕克斯的接触

did get me sick

果然让我染上病了

I in turn created a small epidemic

我因此制造了一场小流行病

taking down 128 students

放倒了128名学生

four teachers

四名教师

and one principal

以及一位校长

It didn't stop there

还不止这样

I also infected my mother

我还传染给了我妈妈

father

我爸爸

sister brother

我姐我哥

Meemaw

姥姥

and Meemaw's friend Dale

以及姥姥的朋友戴尔

The newliest established boundries of friendship

最新制定的友谊界限

helped keep doctor Sturgis healthy

帮助斯特吉斯博士保持健康

However in an unrelated incident

然而在一场与之无关的意外中

he crashed his bike in some garbage cans

他骑单车撞向了垃圾桶

Luckily he landed on his recently acquired athletic cup

幸运的是他最近购买的运动护裆保护了他

That was a wise pruchase

这护裆真是买对了