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Hi
你好
What's up with you
你怎么了
You need some energetic healing buddy
你需要些能量治疗了 朋友
Thanks for calling Vacuubot
感谢致电吸尘机器人公司
purveyors of America's finest automated vacuum cleaners
全美最好的自动吸尘器供应商
For English press one
英语服务请按1
You've asked to speak to a human representative
您已要求转接人工服务
The current wait time is six hours and 14 minutes
目前需等待6小时14分钟
Seriously
逗我呢
If you have a repair query press one If you need
维修需求请按1 如果您需要...
Alrighty then
好的
have you tried turning your Vacuubot off and on again
您是否尝试过重启您的机器人
There you are
你在这啊
Our onboard GOLDEN YEARS system
根据机载的"金色年华"系统反馈
tells us you've somehow activated Purge Mode
您无意间启动了清除模式
This feature is designed to eradicate small pests
此功能旨在消灭小型有害动物
such as insects spiders and mice The hell
-如昆虫 蜘蛛和老鼠 -什么玩意儿
But in certain situations
但在某些情况下
larger prey like pets and some humans What
-较大的生物 如宠物和人类 -什么
Could be targeted We're sorry for any inconvenience
也可能成为目标 给您造成不便 我们深感抱歉
If your Vacuubot has decided to purge all living things press three
如果机器人决定清除屋内所有生物 请按3
To end Purge Mode you will need to access the options menu
关闭清除模式 您需要进入选项菜单
To do that you will need to distract Vacuubot to get close
为此 您得分散它的注意力以便靠近
We suggest throwing something at it like a blanket or pet
建议您向它扔东西 如毯子或宠物
What in the Bodhisattva is going on here Are you fucking kidding me
这到底什么鬼 你他妈在开玩笑吗
The automated system has detected high levels of profanity
自动系统检测到了大量的脏话
Your bad attitude has been filed in our customer database
您的恶劣态度已被记录在客户数据库中
No
Now then have you calmed your sassy boots down
现在 您是否已冷静下来了
If so press one
如果是 请按1
That's better
好多了
So are you willing to throw your pet at the Vacuubot
那么 您是否愿意向机器人扔出宠物
Press one for yes two for no
是请按1 否请按2
What do you mean "no"
您不愿意是什么意思
It could come down to you or it and believe this
它有可能攻击您或宠物 您要知道
any pet would sacrifice you in an instant
换作任何宠物 都会毫不犹豫地牺牲您
Look into their cold animal eyes and tell me they wouldn't
看看它们冷酷无情的眼睛 反驳我吧
Come on press "yes "
好啦 快按"是"
Fine throw whatever you've got over the Vacuubot
好吧 那随便向机器人扔点什么
and while it struggles to be free zip in close and turn it off
趁它忙于挣脱时 冲过去关掉它
When you attacked your Vacuubot
当您攻击了您的机器人
you activated its HOME GUARD security mode "Attacked"
-便启动了它的家庭安防模式 -"攻击"
And it's identified you as a trespasser You told me to
-它会将您视为入侵者 -你叫我这么做的
Vacuubot will classify any area it's cleaned as its personal territory
机器人会将清扫过的区域归为私人领地
Has this Vacuubot cleaned your entire home
这个机器人是否清扫过您整个家
Help
救命
Hey help Well it's Vacuubot's house now
-救命 -那现在这是它的家了
We suggest you run
建议您尽快离开
Have you left yet
您是否已离开
When you've reached minimum safe distance Shut up
-当您与机器人的领地... -闭嘴
from Vacuubot's territory press one
已达到最小安全距离 请按1
Fluff and fold motherfucker
慢慢收拾去吧 混蛋
Damn it
妈的
Step aside ladies
靠边站 女士们
Congratulations
恭喜
you've stopped the unstoppable killing machine that is Vacuubot
您阻止了不可阻挡的杀戮机器 吸尘机器人
Unfortunately you can't stay here though The Vacuubot has forwarded
遗憾的是 您不能待在这了 机器人已将
all recorded information about you to every Vacuubot model in operation
您所有在库信息发给了每个运行中的机器人
all of whom will now hunt you ceaselessly
它们现在将不停地追杀您
until your DNA has been cleansed from the surface of the planet
直到您从星球上彻底消失
This is your life now to hide and wander
您今后的生活只剩下躲藏和逃亡
Never a moment's rest in this barren wasteland
在这贫瘠的荒原上颠沛流离
that is now your existence
就是您现在的处境
Unless you'd like to purchase a place on the exclusive Vacuubot
除非您愿意购买独家的吸尘机器人
termination whitelist Go to hell
-终止白名单名额 -去死吧
For a special introductory rate press one
如需优惠先期利率 请按1