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视频
教程课件
单词卡片
Okay Yes let me introduce myself Um
好 对 我来自我介绍一下
Hi I'm a thermostat
你好 我是恒温器
and look I know these two don't like each other too much okay
看 我知道这两口子 现在关系不太好 好吗
Dual climate zones You ever heard of it
双温区控制 你们听说过吗
It's not a problem It's literally what I'm designed to do
真没什么大不了的 这正是我的设计初衷
Oh okay
哦 好吧
Now I know what it feels like to be the kid stuck in a divorce
现在我总算体会到了那种 离婚家庭孩子的感受
ferrying messages between two parents
整天在爸妈之间当传话筒
Oh my God Again
哦 天啊 又来了
You know what Winter gets pretty cold here
你们知道吗 这儿的冬天可冷得很
If they want passive aggressive just wait until it gets below freezing
既然他们想玩冷战这一套 那就等温度降到零度以下
I'll show them passive aggressive
我让他们瞧瞧什么是真正的冷战
When used as directed
按说明正确使用的话
I clear 99 9% of all the plaque that builds up on the surfaces of your teeth
我能清除你牙齿表面堆积的 99.9%的牙菌斑
When used as directed Chad
重点是按说明正确使用 查德
And I don't mean like a light wave in the general vicinity of your mouth
我说的可不是一周来一次那种在嘴边
once a week
随便晃一晃
No one wants to kiss him
没人愿意亲他
The toaster has sympathy for the bread that has to enter this guy's mouth
连烤面包机都同情 那些要进他嘴里的面包
Even the dog "nopes" the hell out
连狗都躲着他的嘴
And that thing licks buttholes okay
那玩意儿可是会舔屁股的啊
And then he goes to the dentist
然后他去看牙医
and when they tell him his gums look worse than a rabid coyote's
当医生说他的牙龈 比得了狂犬病的郊狼还烂得吓人时
he just plays innocent He's like "W well how I brush every day "
他就在那装无辜 他说:"怎么会呢 我每天都刷牙的"
Don't make me party to your lies Chad
别拿我给你打掩护撒谎 查德
Fucking floss man
他妈的快去用牙线吧
You have bacon in there from 1996
你牙缝里的培根肉都是1996年的
1 2 3 4 is not a security code
1234不是安全密码
I see meth heads lurking in the woods waiting for her to leave
我看到那些吸嗨的瘾君子 就在树林里盯梢 等着她出门
What does she think the first damn thing they'll type into my keypad is
她觉得这帮人 首先尝试输进键盘的密码会是什么
When she gets robbed when she gets robbed
等她被抢的时候 这种事早晚会发生
I'm just gonna ask if they'll take me with them
我就要问问那些贼 能不能顺便把我也带走
This dude eats a lot of lentils I mean a lot
这家伙总是吃扁豆 真的吃很多
You know what it is He thinks I'm deodorizing his house
你知道问题在哪吗 他以为我在给他家除臭
Understand this
明白这一点
I just take dust and particles out of the air bro
我只是清除 空气中的灰尘和颗粒物 兄弟
That's what I do I don't do methane
这就是我的工作 我可处理不了甲烷
Here's my question How do you get used to that smell
我就想问一句 你是怎么习惯这个味道的
And I'm asking you honestly
我是真心在问
I mean at what point can you just ignore
我是说 你是什么时候开始无视
that you're constantly leaking out a greenhouse gas
自己一直 往外泄露温室气体这件事的
Let me tell you something If he ever lights a candle in here
跟你说 要是他哪天在这屋里点根蜡烛
we are all going to die
咱们都得玩完
I have six customizable pulse settings
我有六种可调节的脉冲模式
Mist rain shower full body massage
细雾 雨淋 淋浴 全身按摩
pulsating massage and ultra power pulsating massage
律动按摩 还有超强律动按摩
The other appliances tell me she hasn't had a date in four years
其他电器跟我说她已经四年没约会了
but I You know I just I just want to clean people
但是你知道 我只是想给人洗澡而已
I mean I'm sorry about her dating life okay I I I really am
我是说 对于她的感情生活 我表示很遗憾 好吗 真的
But I would prefer to keep it professional
但是我更希望保持专业关系
I just want to be frien Oh Oh okay
我只是想当朋 哦 好吧
I've never been out of this cabinet
我从来没离开过这个橱柜
I was a housewarming gift from his parents
我是他42岁第一次有了自己的公寓时
when he got his first apartment at 42 years old
他父母送的乔迁礼物
He plays video games and smokes weed all day
他整天就知道打游戏 抽大麻
It's pretty much all he does
基本上就只会干这个
The other appliances will confirm he's never cooked a thing in his kitchen
我是说 其他厨房电器都能作证 他从来没在这个厨房做过任何东西
Ever
从来没有
Yeah
My only hope of getting out of here is if someone or something swipes right
我唯一能离开这里的希望 就是有人或东西在交友软件上向右滑
Oh my God
哦 我的天啊
I'm gonna die a waffle virgin
我连一块华夫饼都没做过就要死去
Holy shit
我的天啊
The chefs started out with the goal of wowing our judges
最初 参赛者们的目标
using the ingredients in their mystery baskets
是用神秘篮子里的食材 让评委们眼前一亮
Now only two remain
现在只剩下两个人了
I'm sworn to secrecy
我发誓要保守秘密
That's all I'll say
这是我唯一能说的
Except this
不过还有一点
When I'm working she likes to watch episodes of Chopped
当我工作的时候 她喜欢看《厨艺大战》
Honey Don't ask me why
我知道 别问我为什么
I don't even guess why
我都懒得猜为什么
I'm a sex toy not a therapist
我是性玩具 不是治疗师
I'd rather watch Squid Game but let's not get into my kinks
我倒是更想看《鱿鱼游戏》 不过还是别讨论我的特殊爱好了
Why would anyone even think to give a toilet intelligence
谁会想到要让马桶拥有智能啊
What horrible person would do that
得多坏的人才会这么干
Was I like Stalin in a past life or something
我上辈子是斯大林还是怎么的
Oh God
哦 天啊
The refrigerator just told me it's taco night
冰箱刚刚告诉我 他们今晚吃墨西哥玉米卷
and Brenda's making them extra spicy
布伦达还要放超级多辣椒
Please just kill me now
求求你们现在就杀了我吧
Maybe I'll come back as a showerhead or something
也许下辈子我能转世成淋浴喷头
Yeah that'd be fine
对 那样就挺好
Let me guess
让我猜猜
The Toilet was whining to you about how hard life is
那个马桶跟你抱怨生活有多艰难
That's adorable
真是天真呢