爱，死亡和机器人-S01E02-三个机器人_爱,死亡和机器人

第一季

第二季

视频：

爱，死亡和机器人-S02E01-自动化客服

视频：

爱，死亡和机器人-S02E02-冰

视频：

爱，死亡和机器人-S02E03-长生与新生

视频：

爱，死亡和机器人-S02E04-沙漠中的史诺

爱，死亡和机器人-S02E08-溺毙的巨人

第三季

视频：

爱，死亡和机器人-S03E01-三个机器人-退场策略

视频：

爱，死亡和机器人-S03E02-差劲旅行

视频：

爱，死亡和机器人-S03E03-机器的脉动

视频：

爱，死亡和机器人-S03E04-迷你亡灵之夜

视频：

爱，死亡和机器人-S03E05-杀戮小队开杀

视频：

爱，死亡和机器人-S03E06-虫群

视频：

爱，死亡和机器人-S03E07-梅森的老鼠

第四季

爱，死亡和机器人-S04E02-迷你第三类接触

视频：

爱，死亡和机器人-S04E03-蜘蛛玫瑰

视频：

爱，死亡和机器人-S04E04-400男孩

视频：

爱，死亡和机器人-S04E05-又一庞然大物

视频：

爱，死亡和机器人-S04E06-骷髅地

视频：

爱，死亡和机器人-S04E07-暴龙的尖叫

视频：

爱，死亡和机器人-S04E08-齐克如何信教

视频：

爱，死亡和机器人-S04E09-智慧型设备愚蠢型主人

视频：

爱，死亡和机器人-S04E10-他能悄悄靠近

内容	操作
视频
教程课件
单词卡片

We are fucking lost aren't we

我们他妈迷路了吧

Lost Okay that's rich

迷路这可太过了

Let's see we just passed the ravaged church

我看看我们刚刚经过了破教堂

There is the blood pit

这是血坑

This way Here we go

这边走吧

Breathtaking

惊艳

It's more beautiful than the brochures

比手册上漂亮

Come on Giddy up guys We've got so much to see

大伙跟上我们有好多要看的

You've seen one post apocalyptic city

看过一个后启示录时代的城市

you've seen 'em all

相当于看过所有城市了

You're looking good girl Say "terabyte"

你看起来不错姑娘说"太字节"

Go team

加油加油

Hey guys stop goofing around and check this out

大伙别闹了看看这个

Behold the entertainment sphere

有请娱乐球体

It's called a ball

这叫球

I know it's called a ball but I'm trying to get into the whole

我知道这叫球但我想沉浸在这种

"we're experiencing these human things for the first time" vibe

"我们第一次体验人类的东西"的感觉

And what did humans do with these things

人类用这些做什么

Oh man what didn't they do They'd bounce them

老哥有什么是他们不做的他们会拍球

That's it Yeah That's pretty much it

-就这样 -对差不多就这样

These were humans

这些可是人类

Bouncing things was close to maxing out their cognitive range

拍打东西几乎到达了他们的认知边界

No but also sometimes they would take the ball and hit it with like a stick

不有时候他们也会拿着球用棍子打

What When they misbehaved

什么因为球犯事了吗

Bad ball Think about what you've done

坏球好好反省一下

Come on here Try

走吧来试试

What the hell am I supposed to do with this thing

我拿这玩意儿干什么

You know boing boing

你懂的拍两下

No way

没门

Stop being a whiny pussy and fucking bounce it

别扭扭捏捏快他妈拍球

Please Jeez calm down your motherboard

-拜托 -老天让你主板冷静一下

Okay Oh man this is so exciting

-好 -这可太令人兴奋了

That was amazing How was it for you Tell me everything

好厉害你觉得呢快说快说

It was pretty anticlimactic

太虎头蛇尾了

Yeah well welcome to humans

欢迎来到人类世界

Show me what you've got big boy

让我看看你有什么本事大家伙

Oh won't you help pick up the pieces

你能否帮忙拾起

Of a broken heart

破碎的心

Now I'm not certain but my understanding is that they would shove these

我不确定但我的理解是他们会把这些东西

into their intake orifices to generate power

塞进他们的摄入孔里产能

Why would you need an entire orifice for that

为什么人需要整个孔来产能呢

Who knows They had all sorts of orifices

谁知道他们有各种孔

Things were coming in things were going out It was crazy

东西进进出出的真疯狂

I mean I have a fusion battery for power

我是说我有个核聚变电池

We all have fusion batteries dummy

我们都有核聚变电池傻子

That's my point What more do you need right

就是说啊那还需要什么呢

So let me get this straight

让我把这搞清楚

They would shove these into their intake orifice

他们会把这些东西塞进摄入孔里

and then what Somebody help me out here

然后呢来个人帮帮我

Their intake orifices had rocky pegs

他们的摄入孔里有石钉[牙齿]

that would crush them into paste

会把东西碾成糊状

and then the paste would be forced into an internal vat of acid

糊状物会被压进一个装满酸的容器[胃]里

Well of course That makes perfect sense

那是蛮有道理

They could have just dumped this thing into an exterior vat of acid to begin with

他们一开始可以直接把东西倒进装满酸的容器里

and then they wouldn't need the rocky pegs I mean duh

这样就不用石钉了啊太蠢了

Expecting logic from beings who have internal vats of acid

指望肚里装了一堆酸的生物讲逻辑

is a little much It's crazy Who even designed them

-有点过分 -真疯狂他们是谁设计的

It's unclear We checked their code no creator signature

不清楚我们查了他们的代码没有设计者签名

That's because they were made by an unfathomable deity that created them

那是因为他们是一个神秘莫测的神创造的

for no apparent reason out of dust

毫无理由地从尘土里诞生

Just kidding They came from a very warm soup

开个玩笑他们是从暖汤里出来的[羊水]

Sorry for the wait champ

抱歉久等了冠军

What's the point of this thing

这东西有什么意义

Apparently there's no point They just had them

显然没意义他们就养着

Well that's underselling their influence

那就低估了他们的影响力

They had an entire network that was devoted to dissemination of pictures

他们有一个完整的网络平台

of these things

来传播这些东西的照片

Oh look it's doing something

看它在搞事情

It's coming this way

它来了

What the fuck does it think it's doing

它觉得自己他妈在干什么

Dude what do I do Okay easy No sudden moves

-老兄我怎么办 -放松别乱动

Let's just wait until it decides to get up again okay bud

我们就等它自己决定再站起来好吗

We're gonna get through this How long will that take

-我们会挺过去的 -要多久啊

Hours Perhaps years

几个小时也可能几年

I don't have hours or perhaps years for this

我可等不了几个小时更等不了几年

What if you try to irritate it by moving your digits across its keratinous fibers

不如试试用手指挠它的角质纤维来激怒它

Maybe that'll make it move What Why

-可能这样它就动了 -什么为什么

I don't know It couldn't hurt You don't have any idea do you

-我不知道又没什么损失 -你就是瞎说的吧

I do not It is my first time seeing one of these live

那不然呢我也第一次见活的这东西啊

Hey just try it though

不妨试试

Okay fine

好吧

Is it working

有用吗

What

什么

There's a strange rhythmic kind of noise that's emanating from it now

现在它在发出一种奇怪的有节奏的声音

What do you mean "uh oh "

你什么意思

I don't want you to panic or anything but I think you've activated it

我不想让你慌神但你应该已经把它激活了

What does that mean

什么意思

As I said I am no expert

我说了我不是专家

but if the noise ever stops it's gonna explode on you

但要是这声音停了它就会在你身上爆炸

It is not Is it

不会吧

Cursory historical research shows

粗略的历史研究表明

that humans had a card game called Exploding Kittens

人类有一种叫"炸猫猫"的纸牌游戏

So yes this checks out

所以没错会爆炸的

Oh you're gonna die now Bummer What

-你要死了倒霉孩子 -什么

Why did humans even consort with these hairy murder machines

为什么人类要跟这种毛茸茸的谋杀机器搞在一起

Kindred spirits Also checks out

-臭味相投 -也查过了

No seriously Now what

我认真的怎么办

Say "terabyte"

说"太字节"

Wait it's called what now

等等它叫什么

It's an X Bot Three an early computer entertainment system for humans

它叫X机器人3号人类早期的计算机娱乐系统

Any relation To me Come on No way

-跟你有关系吗 -跟我得了不可能

You sure 'Cause numerically it suggests that this is your ancestor

你确定吗因为数字上表明这是你

maybe a few thousand generations back

可能几千代前的祖先

Numerically I'm sure it's just a coincidence

数字上肯定是个巧合

We are robots We don't do coincidence

我们是机器人没有巧合这回事

Go on call it Daddy

来叫爸爸

Okay stop Just stop Or Mommy

-够了够了 -要么叫妈妈

Either is equally applicable in as much as we don't have genitalia

我们没有生殖器叫爸叫妈都可以

Do you have an off button

你有没有关机键

Son you're skin and bones Are you recharging properly

儿子你皮包骨头的有没有吃饱电

I will disintegrate you Not with that cat with you you aren't

-我要拆了你小子 -有那只猫在你身上你不行的

You want us to turn it on

想要我们打开吗

No fucking way

去你妈的

I'm agreeing with X Bot 4000 here

我同意X机器人4000

Right One thing is to joke about ancestry

-对 -开别人祖先的玩笑是一回事

another to see your grandfather heaving its hard drives in front of you

看着你爷爷的硬盘掉出来又是另一回事了

Yes especially when your ancestor's entire existence

没错尤其是当你祖先的存在

was defined by thirteen year old human males

就是为了给一个13岁的男人

using it to teabag opponents in virtual battles

在虚拟战争里给对手递茶包

Slow down "Teabag" what does that mean

慢点 "茶包"[谐音"T-Bag" 指在游戏中叫儿子] 什么意思

Nothing No it has to mean something

-没什么意思 -不一定有什么含义

He said a word I'm gonna look it up Don't look it up

-他说了个词我得查查 -别查

I am looking it up now Yeah Please do

-我查着呢 -查吧

You'll be sorry You'll be sorry

-你会后悔的 -你才会后悔的

Here it is What What the hell is this horrible practice

有了什么这是什么糟糕的操作

Why did you make me look this up I told you not to

-你为什么让我查这个 -我让你不要查的

And the memory of this has been burned into my circuits forever

这一段会一直在我脑子里

and you must be punished

我得惩罚你

Cat bagged

来个猫袋

Come on That's cold dude

拜托你好残忍啊兄弟

You deserved it

自作自受

I'm sure your ancestors are very proud of you right now

你肯定是光宗耀祖了

Out of curiosity what do you trace your ancestry back to

好奇问问你有没有查过自己的出身

I'm glad you asked

我很开心你这么问了

I come from a proud long line of baby monitors

我来自一个豪华的育婴机器人生产线

Not many babies around anymore right

这附近可没什么婴儿了吧

Yeah we kind of sucked at our job

是啊我们工作不力啊

All right mein bots this is the last stop of the tour

好了机器人们这是最后一站了

and may I say the pièce of resistance

压轴来了

Is it me or this thing screams "phallus"

只有我觉得这东西长得像男性生殖器吗

What was it for

它是干什么的

The idea behind these was to annihilate as many humans as possible

它的初衷是尽可能消灭多一点人类

as quick as possible

越快越好

This exercise suddenly got a little dark didn't it

这实验突然有点黑暗了不是吗

Well to be fair they only used these a few times

平心而论他们也就用了几次

To be fair you would only need a few times

平心而论几次也够了

Also fair This is the thing that killed them all

-那也在理 -这就是灭绝他们的东西

No Indeed it was their own hubris that ended their reign

不其实是他们的傲慢结束了他们的统治

their belief that they were the pinnacle of creation

他们笃信自己是上帝造物

that caused them to poison the water kill the land and choke the sky

让他们污染水源杀死陆地扼住天空

In the end no nuclear winter was needed

最后无需核的寒冬降临

just the long heedless autumn of their own self regard

自私而失智的长秋就足够了

Are you okay Yeah sorry

-你还好吗 -抱歉

Thought that would sound better than

我以为这听起来好过

"Nah they just screwed themselves by being a bunch of morons "

"他们就是一群白痴自己作死"

Yeah you can't just crack one of those off

是你不能只做拆解

You've got to warn us

你得警示我们

Tip for next time

下次给小费

I understand now

我懂了

Humans died out from environmental disaster

人类灭绝于环境灾难

Yeah pretty much

差不多吧

And also because at one point they genetically engineered their cats

也因为他们对猫开展了基因工程

to give them opposable thumbs

让他们有了一对拇指

Yes Once we could open up our own tuna cans

没错一旦我们能自己打开金枪鱼罐头

that was pretty much that for the human race

人类就差不多走到尽头了

Seems pretty heartless

好冷血啊

Gentlemen I'm a cat

先生们我是只猫

Just to clarify you are not going to explode if we stop petting you right

先说清楚我们不摸你你不会炸掉吧

I didn't say that

我可没说

You guys better keep petting me just to be sure

为了确保万无一失你们最好一直摸我

Forever Good

别停很好

Now lower

往下一点

Oh by the way I brought some friends

顺便我带了几个朋友

Oh fuck me

我操

Yes Oh that's nice

蛮好的

I said lower

我说了往下点