How Seriously Should Parents Take Kids’ Opinions When Searching for a Home?

In choosing a new home, Camille McClain’s kids have a single demand: a backyard.

McClain’s little ones aren’t the only kids who have an opinion when it comes to housing, and in many cases youngsters’ views weigh heavily on parents’ real estate decisions, according to a 2018 Harris Poll survey of more than 2,000 U.S. adults.

While more families buck an older-generation proclivity to leave kids in the dark about real estate decisions, realty agents and psychologists have mixed views about the financial, personal and long-term effects kids’ opinions may have.

The idea of involving children in a big decision is a great idea because it can help them feel a sense of control and ownership in what can be an overwhelming process, said Ryan Hooper, a clinical psychologist in Chicago.

“Children may face serious difficulties in coping with significant moves, especially if it removes them from their current school or support system,” he said.

Greg Jaroszewski, a real estate broker with Gagliardo Realty Associates, said he’s not convinced that kids should be involved in selecting a home—but their opinions should be considered in regards to proximity to friends and social activities, if possible.

Younger children should feel like they’re choosing their home—without actually getting a choice in the matter, said Adam Bailey, a real estate attorney based in New York.

Asking them questions about what they like about the backyard of a potential home will make them feel like they’re being included in the decision-making process, Bailey said.

Many of the aspects of homebuying aren’t a consideration for children, said Tracey Hampson, a real estate agent based in Santa Clarita, Calif. And placing too much emphasis on their opinions can ruin a fantastic home purchase.

“Speaking with your children before you make a real estate decision is wise, but I wouldn’t base the purchasing decision solely on their opinions,” Hampson said.

The other issue is that many children—especially older ones—may base their real estate knowledge on HGTV shows, said Aaron Norris of The Norris Group in Riverside, Calif.

“They love Chip and Joanna Gaines just as much as the rest of us,” he said. “HGTV has seriously changed how people view real estate. It’s not shelter, it’s a lifestyle. With that mindset change come some serious money consequences.”

Kids tend to get stuck in the features and the immediate benefits to them personally, Norris said.

Parents need to remind their children that their needs and desires may change over time, said Julie Gurner, a real estate analyst with FitSmallBusiness.com.

“Their opinions can change tomorrow,” Gurner said. “Harsh as it may be to say, that decision should likely not be made contingent on a child’s opinions, but rather made for them with great consideration into what home can meet their needs best—and give them an opportunity to customize it a bit and make it their own.”

This advice is more relevant now than ever before, even as more parents want to embrace the ideas of their children, despite the current housing crunch.

[A] remarks that significant moves may pose challenges to children.

[B] says that it is wise to leave kids in the dark about real estate decision.

[C] advises that home purchases should not be based only on children’ s opinions.

[D] thinks that children should be given a sense of involvement in homebuying decisions.

[E] notes that aspects like children’s friends and social activities should be considered upon homebuying.

[F] believes that homebuying decisions should be based on children’ s needs rather than their opinions.

[G] assumes that many children’s views on real estate are influenced by the media.

[A] Be present

[B] Just say it

[C] Ask for an opinion

[D] Name, places, things

[E] Find the “me too” s

[F] Pay a unique compliment

[G] Skip the small talk

Five Ways to Make Conversation with Anyone

Conversations are links, which means when you have a conversation with a new person a link gets formed and every conversation you have after that moment will strengthen the link.

You meet new people every day: the grocery worker, the cab driver, new people at work or the security guard at the door. Simply starting a conversation with them will form a link.

Here are five simple ways that you can make the first move and start a conversation with strangers.

【R1】________

Suppose you are in a room with someone you don’t know and something within you says “I want to talk with this person” —this is something that mostly happens with all of us. You wanted to say something—the first word—but it just won’t come out, it feels like it is stuck somewhere. I know the feeling and here is my advice: just get it out.

Just think: what is the worst that could happen? They won’t talk with you? Well, they are not talking with you now!

I truly believe that once you get that first word out everything else will just flow. So keep it simple: “Hi”, “Hey” or “Hello” —do the best you can to gather all the enthusiasm and energy you can, put on a big smile and say “Hi”.

【R2】________

It’s a problem all of us face; you have limited time with the person that you want to talk with and you want to make this talk memorable.

Honestly, if we got stuck in the rut of “hi”, “hello”, “how are you?” and “what’s going on?”, you will fail to give the initial jolt to the conversation that can make it so memorable.

So don’t be afraid to ask more personal questions. Trust me, you will be surprised to see how much people are willing to share if you just ask.

【R3】________

When you meet a person for the first time, make an effort to find the things which you and that person have in common so that you can build the conversation from that point. When you start conversation from there and then move outwards, you’ll find all of a sudden that the conversation becomes a lot easier.

【R4】________

Imagine you are pouring your heart out to someone and they are just busy on their phone, and if you ask for their attention you get the response “I can multitask”.

So when someone tries to communicate with you, just be in that communication wholeheartedly. Make eye contact. Trust me, eye contact is where all the magic happens. When you make eye contact, you can feel the conversation.

【R5】________

You all came into a conversation where you first met the person, but after some time you may have met again and have forgotten their name. Isn’t that awkward!

So, remember the little details of the people you met or you talked with; perhaps the places they have been to, the places they want to go, the things they like, the things they hate—whatever you talk about.

When you remember such things you can automatically become investor in their wellbeing. So they feel a responsibility to you to keep that relationship going.

That’s it. Five amazing ways that you can make conversation with almost anyone. Every person is a really good book to read, or to have a conversation with!

The decline in American manufacturing is a common refrain, particularly from Donald Trump. “We don’t make anything anymore,” he told Fox News, while defending his own made-in-Mexico clothing line.

Without question, manufacturing has taken a significant hit during recent decades, and further trade deals raise questions about whether new shocks could hit manufacturing.

But there is also a different way to look at the data.

Across the country, factory owners are now grappling with a new challenge: Instead of having too many workers, they may end up with too few. Despite trade competition and outsourcing, American manufacturing still needs to replace tens of thousands of retiring boomers every year. Millennials may not be that interested in taking their place. Other industries are recruiting them with similar or better pay.

For factory owners, it all adds up to stiff competition for workers—and upward pressure on wages. “They’re harder to find and they have job offers,” says Jay Dunwell, president of Wolverine Coil Spring, a family-owned firm. “They may be coming [into the workforce], but they’ve been plucked by other industries that are also doing as well as manufacturing,” Mr. Dunwell has begun bringing high school juniors to the factory so they can get exposed to its culture.

At RoMan Manufacturing, a maker of electrical transformers and welding equipment that his father cofounded in 1980, Robert Roth keeps a close eye on the age of his nearly 200 workers. Five are retiring this year. Mr. Roth has three community-college students enrolled in a work-placement program, with a starting wage of $13 an hour that rises to $17 after two years.

At a worktable inside the transformer plant, young Jason Stenquist looks flustered by the copper coils he’s trying to assemble and the arrival of two visitors. It’s his first week on the job. Asked about his choice of career, he says at high school he considered medical school before switching to electrical engineering. “I love working with tools. I love creating,” he says.

But to win over these young workers, manufacturers have to clear another major hurdle: parents, who lived through the worst US economic downturn since the Great Depression, telling them to avoid the factory. Millennials “remember their father and mother both were laid off. They blame it on the manufacturing recession,” says Birgit Klohs, chief executive of The Right Place, a business development agency for western Michigan.

These concerns aren’t misplaced: Employment in manufacturing has fallen from 17 million in 1970 to 12 million in 2015. When the recovery began, worker shortages first appeared in the high-skilled trades.

Now shortage are appearing at the mid-skill levels.

“The gap is between the jobs that take no skills and those that require a lot of skill,” says Rob Spohr, a business professor at Montcalm Community College. “There’re enough people to fill the jobs at McDonalds and other places where you don’t need to have much skill. It is that gap in between, and that’s where the problems is.”

Julie Parks of Grand Rapids Community College points to another key to luring Millennial into manufacturing: a work/life balance. While their parents were content to work long hours, young people value flexibility, “Overtime is not attractive to this generation. They really want to live their lives,” she says.

[A] believes that it is important to keep a close eye on the age of his workers.

[B] says that the manufacturing recession is to blame for the lay-off of the young people’ s parents.

[C] says that for factory owners, workers are harder to find because of stiff competition.

[D] says that he switched to electrical engineering because he loves working with tools.

[E] points out that the US doesn’t manufacture anything anymore.

[F] points out that there are enough people to fill the jobs that don’t need much skill.

[G] points out that a work/life balance can attract young people into manufacturing.

[A] Be silly

[B] Ask for help

[C] Notice things

[D] Express your emotions

[E] Don’t overthink it

[F] Be easily pleased

[G] Have fun

Act Your Shoe Size, Not Your Age

As adults, it seems that we are constantly pursuing happiness, often with mixed results. Yet children appear to have it down to an art—and for the most part they don’t need self-help books or therapy. Instead, they look after their wellbeing in stinctively, and usually more effectively than we do as grownups. Perhaps it’s time to learn a few lessons from them.

【R1】________

What does a child do when he’s sad? He cries. When he’s angry? He shouts. Scared? Probably a bit of both. As we grow up, we learn to control our emotions so they are manageable and don’t dictate our behaviours, which is in many ways a good thing. But too often we take this process too far and end up suppressing emotions, especially negative ones. That’s about as effective as brushing dirt under a carpet and can even make us ill. What we need to do is find a way to acknowledge and express what we feel appropriately, and then—again, like children— move on.

【R2】________

A couple of Christmases ago, my youngest stepdaughter, who was nine years old at the time, got a Superman T-shirt for Christmas. It cost less than a fiver but she was overjoyed, and couldn’t stop talking about it. Too often we believe that a new job, bigger house or better car will be the magic silver bullet that will allow us to finally be content, but the reality is these things have very little lasting impact on our happiness levels. Instead, being grateful for small things every day is a much better way to improve wellbeing.

【R3】________

Have you ever noticed how much children laugh? If we adults could indulge in a bit of silliness and giggling, we would reduce the stress hormones in our bodies, increase good hormones like endorphins, improve blood flow to our hearts and even have a greater chance of fighting off infection. All of which would, of course, have a positive effect on our happiness levels.

【R4】________

The problem with being a grownup is that there’s an awful lot of serious stuff to deal with— work, mortgage payments, figuring out what to cook for dinner. But as adults we also have the luxury of being able to control our own diaries and it’s important that we schedule in time to enjoy the things we love. Those things might be social, sporting, creative or completely random (dancing around the living room, anyone?)—it doesn’t matter, so long as they’re enjoyable, and not likely to have negative side effects, such as drinking too much alcohol or going on a wild spending spree if you’re on a tight budget.

【R5】________

Having said all of the above, it’s important to add that we shouldn’t try too hard to be happy. Scientists tell us this can backfire and actually have a negative impact on our wellbeing. As the Chinese philosopher Chuang Tzu is reported to have said: “Happiness is the absence of striving for happiness.” And in that, once more, we need to look to the example of our children, to whom happiness is not a goal but a natural byproduct of the way they live.

[A] You are not alone

[B] Experience helps you grow

[C] Pave your own unique path

[D] Most of your fears are unreal

[E] Think about the present moment

[F] Don’t fear responsibility for your life

[G] There are many things to be grateful for

Some Old Truths to Help You Overcome Tough Times

Unfortunately, life is not a bed of roses. We are going through life facing sad experiences. Moreover, we are grieving various kinds of loss: a friendship, a romantic relationship or a house. Hard times may hold you down at what usually seems like the most inopportune time, but you should remember that they won’t last forever.

When our time of mourning is over, we press forward, stronger with a greater understanding and respect for life. Furthermore, these losses make us mature and eventually move us toward future opportunities for growth and happiness. I want to share these old truths I’ve learned along the way.

【R1】________

Fear is both useful and harmful. This normal human reaction is used to protect us by signaling danger and preparing us to deal with it. Unfortunately, people create inner barriers with a help of exaggerating fears. My favorite actor Will Smith once said, “Fear is not real. It is a product of thoughts you create. Do not misunderstand me. Danger is very real. But fear is a choice.” I do completely agree that fears are just the product of our luxuriant imagination.

【R2】________

If you are surrounded by problems and cannot stop thinking about the past, try to focus on the present moment. Many of us are weighed down by the past or anxious about the future. You may feel guilt over your past, but you are poisoning the present with the things and circumstances you cannot change. Value the present moment and remember how fortunate you are to be alive. Enjoy the beauty of the world around and keep the eyes open to see the possibilities before you. Happiness is not a point of future and not a moment from the past, but a mindset that can be designed into the present.

【R3】________

Sometimes it is easy to feel bad because you are going through tough times. You can be easily caught up by life problems that you forget to pause and appreciate the things you have. Only strong people prefer to smile and value their life instead of crying and complaining about something.

【R4】________

No matter how isolated you might feel and how serious the situation is, you should always remember that you are not alone. Try to keep in mind that almost everyone respects and wants to help you if you are trying to make a good change in your life, especially your dearest and nearest people. You may have a circle of friends who provide constant good humor, help and companionship. If you have no friends or relatives, try to participate in several online communities, full of people who are always willing to share advice and encouragement.

【R5】________

Today many people find it difficult to trust their own opinion and seek balance by gaining objectivity from external sources. This way you devalue your opinion and show that you are incapable of managing your own life. When you are struggling to achieve something important you should believe in yourself and be sure that your decision is the best. You live in your skin, think your own thoughts, have your own values and make your own choices.